Dude, NO!

NO! NO! NO!

8/6/2008 7:03:05 AM

Only one of the girls that I've dated before is on civil terms with me. I don't talk to the others. I run into that one particular ex every year when I go home, just about. We hang out sometimes and end up bwning, I leave and repeat. We dated five years ago, so, I suppose it takes a while. I dunno why we still bwn, but I'm not gonna question it. But as far as friends go, I don't really consider her a friend, because we don't hang out on a regular basis. We just randomly hook up annually to bi-annually.

[Edited on August 6, 2008 at 7:41 AM. Reason : more]

8/6/2008 7:40:31 AM

no

8/6/2008 7:40:43 AM

I can only think of 2 girls that I dated that I am still friends with. But in both cases we only dated VERY briefly and were never very serious. I have no communication with any of my actual ex girlfriends.

8/6/2008 7:43:14 AM

I think that you can be...

but

to all the people saying "we're friends cause when we see each other, we're civil...."
I don't really consider that a friendship. Having said that, I don't consider hardly any of my exes friends because I don't really make an effort to talk to them, and vice versa. Friends actually talk to each other...

8/6/2008 8:24:17 AM

begonias

Quote :

"yes, with time and maturity"

i wrote this in Old School the other day...

Quote :

"i still talk to most of them....and i think it's because i was friends with them first.... we grew apart....gave it time...grew up...and were able to retain a friendship....but that's mostly because i have no physical interest in them in any way....so it doesn't create the awkwardness... i can turn off the feelings pretty quickly if i choose to but i can never truly stop caring about someone that was so important to me for so long or that i was so close to..."

Str8Foolish

Quote :

"even in the case of bad breakups there's a lot both parties can learn from it it takes a lot of effort to maintain some sort of friendship through a bad breakup but it's possible one of my exes who i had a complete meltdown with and i are still pretty good friends and we get a beer whenever i'm in raleigh"

eventually most people grow up...it doesn't always happen...but sometimes it does

[Edited on August 6, 2008 at 8:34 AM. Reason : some of them i don't give a shit about now....but i didn't really give a shit about them then either]

8/6/2008 8:33:05 AM

Quote :

"Then again, sometimes the ex just refuses to consider being friends. That's happened to me - and it can hurt worse than the actually break up imo"

ain't that the truth. Exactly what's going on with my ex now, even though he wanted to be friend supposedly.

8/6/2008 8:35:55 AM

Quote :

"ain't that the truth. Exactly what's going on with my ex now, even though he wanted to be friend supposedly."

From a guy's stand point, he's hoping to add with benefits to the "let's still be friends" statement if it's been less than a year since your break up.

[Edited on August 6, 2008 at 8:38 AM. Reason : clarifier]

8/6/2008 8:37:31 AM

most dudes are only able to maintain a friendship AFTER you break up with hopes that you will still sleep with them...

but that's also the only reason they maintain a friendship BEFORE you start dating....


if the chick can not be nuts about it then it should never be a problem

8/6/2008 8:39:54 AM

we've only awkwardly seen/spoken to each other 2-3 times since the break up. Then I saw him at a funeral last week, I said "Hi, how are you" and went on about my way. He's not lookin for benefits, and if he is, it's a shitty way of lookin.

8/6/2008 8:40:55 AM

^^ Basically, I'd still sleep with all of my exes if I didn't have to fucking deal with them after I got off.

/asshole

^ Haha, lookin' for trim at a funeral. I dunno what to tell you otherwise besides just talking a whole bunch of internet junk.

[Edited on August 6, 2008 at 8:42 AM. Reason : serious business]

8/6/2008 8:41:08 AM

i honestly try to but its hard and pointless, i only do it cuz its the "mature" thing to do

i mean whats the point in being friends? its awkward and stupid and its not like this person is gonna be in your life much longer after you break up

being friends is just one persons way of saying "im not attracted to you anymore but i dont want to miss your companionship so lets just be friends"

but i do think ive gotten better at it cuz ive learned that some bridges should never be burned, so i try and swallow my pride and play nice. recently ive been a lot better at being amicable post break up (after a short cool down period), but every single one i just dont talk to anymore cuz our lives have gone on. so once again whats the point in being friends?

8/6/2008 8:41:15 AM

and if you date someone again and you are "Friends" with your ex...and call them or text them or hang out, the new person you're dating is probably going to be like "uhhh wtf"

8/6/2008 8:42:13 AM

^ Yeah, I cheated on one new g/f with an ex cuz we were "friends".

8/6/2008 8:43:33 AM

^^exactly

no gf wants you to be friends with your ex but come break up time they wanna be friends with you, its just stupid


and to clarify i still have open communication with all ex's except two (1 b/c i was mean to her, 1 b/c shes psychotic), the rest i just dont talk to (except one who makes it a pooint to call me at leats once every other month) b/c life goes on and i have no reason to communicate with them and im sure they pretty much feel the same

[Edited on August 6, 2008 at 8:53 AM. Reason : .]

8/6/2008 8:44:43 AM

haha...yeah...when i say "most"...i mean something like 3

i'm not talking about my DOZENS of exes


it took the one guy i actually broke up with 3 years to be able to be in the same room with me....now we get together every few months when we are in our respective towns....

granted he tries, in his way, to sleep with me every time...but he knows it's not going to happen...it was just so damn good that he's hoping one of these days i'll give in...hahah



[Edited on August 6, 2008 at 8:47 AM. Reason : ^^i'm friends with him and his current gf....but she gets REALLY nervous when i'm around]

8/6/2008 8:46:14 AM

Quote :

"It requires a lot of trust on my part to even consider dating somebody- and unless it is all entirely lost for some reason, I see no point in letting a friendship go when I've already put a certain amount of effort in."

what if you get to a point where you have put in so much effort that when it ends you are just exhausted and its not worth your time? it's called cutting your losses

the opportunity cost of my time is not worth keeping in touch with exes when i can spend that time building new friendships and relationships and maintaining the ones i already have

i have only had one relationship end on decent terms and we're cool with each other but whats the point in calling each other and hanging out?

8/6/2008 12:06:29 PM