Whether or not he's gonna leave you for someone hotter in the future doesn't really affect the present. Enjoy your time.

3/22/2009 11:46:35 AM

[Edited on March 22, 2009 at 11:47 AM. Reason : stupid oh shit errors]

3/22/2009 11:46:57 AM

^ fail

3/22/2009 11:47:17 AM

Quote :

"You haven't fallen as hard for the new girl, so why are you dating her?"

why not?

Quote :

"What's the likelihood that you're just rebounding?"

idk, i've never thought about anyone i've dated that way, so 50% i guess

Quote :

"What's the chances that if the other girl decides to ditch her bf again and comes crying to you that you'll be there for her?"

i don't harbor a lot of hard feelings, so i wouldn't go out of my way but i would probably still be mildly sympathetic: 50%

Quote :

"If the chances are good that you are there for her, what are the chances you'd go back to her?"

that bitch crazy, 12.5%

3/22/2009 11:49:59 AM

This thread has me thinking of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coViZNGoKIs

3/22/2009 11:50:32 AM

Quote :

"If you're dating this guy, get out. He obviously has fucked up baggage. You do not want to be dealing with that baggage for the rest of the relationship."

Patience and appreciation go a long way.

3/22/2009 1:20:52 PM

also most people don't forget being hurt that bad and being sad for a month that easily.

3/22/2009 1:26:09 PM

Quote :

"You haven't fallen as hard for the new girl, so why are you dating her? What's the likelihood that you're just rebounding? What's the chances that if the other girl decides to ditch her bf again and comes crying to you that you'll be there for her? If the chances are good that you are there for her, what are the chances you'd go back to her?"

Have you heard of inertia? That's why you're dating the new girl. Sometimes I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and go out with them 4-5 times before passing judgment.

It is VERY likely you are just rebounding and need a distraction from previous relationship.

You want nothing to do with girl #1. She's bad news. She already left her bf for you, then went back. What, do you want her to seesaw back and forth more?

I wouldn't go back to girl #1. She sounds like a fucking nutcase.

3/22/2009 1:30:04 PM

Quote :

"You haven't fallen as hard for the new girl, so why are you dating her?"

This question makes no sense. It implies that you should never date anybody that you aren't falling for harder than the last person you dated.

Quote :

"What's the likelihood that you're just rebounding?"

Eh, 60-40. Hard to say. It'd be a little more promising if he was the type who just always dated, but you said he hadn't been with anyone for a while.

Quote :

"What's the chances that if the other girl decides to ditch her bf again and comes crying to you that you'll be there for her?"

In the near future, none, because she just burned me. As time goes on and the anger/disgust abates, it gets more likely, but that'd take quite a while.

3/22/2009 1:33:58 PM

Thanks for answering the questions.

I really can't pinpoint why I'm so worried about his ex. Maybe I'm just scared his emotions for me could be somewhat blocked by his recent feelings for her and that I'm falling for him faster than he is for me.

Always sucks when feelings aren't returned in the same measure

3/22/2009 1:47:41 PM

Quote :

"I really can't pinpoint why I'm so worried about his ex."

You're a woman.

I don't normally buy into stereotypes in a serious way, but if there's one thing I've seen enough times to be convinced, it's that even reasonable and intelligent women become clinically, short bus retarded about their man's exes. Every time you think about this issue, you should hide the scissors and put on a helmet. I'd make some meals in advance, just so you won't starve to death during a retardation episode.

3/22/2009 1:54:07 PM

Agreed. I'd tear myself apart over nonexistent reasons, I just learned to keep that shit to myself.

[Edited on March 22, 2009 at 1:56 PM. Reason : I feel ya, sylver.]

3/22/2009 1:56:04 PM

^^ lmao yeah, you're right. I feel like I have it together and then I start dating again and I feel like I need therapy

3/22/2009 1:58:01 PM

Don't get me wrong, there are factors working against you here. But it's absolutely pointless to worry about them, not because you should never worry about anything or some other feel-good bullshit, but because you will be too goddamned retarded to come up with a good idea.

If you think about it, you will fail. If you don't think about it, you still might fail, but at least it won't be because of intermittent similarities in personality between you and Leo DiCaprio's character in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape."

[Edited on March 22, 2009 at 2:03 PM. Reason : I can't stress the "retarded" point enough]

3/22/2009 2:01:23 PM

OP, you really, really, really need to get out of the dating scene and spend some time working on yourself. Doesn't matter which of the girls in the story you are.

I quit reading when you said this:

Quote :

"hahahahaaa Yeah, I'd like to see one of those. I'd also like to see a person with no self esteem issues. "

Really: stop dating. Spend 6 months doing nothing but bettering yourself and introspecting hardcore. Be single, and celibate. Get happy (happier?), content, and then start dating. You'll realize you're seeing things very differently than before

In your frame of mind (or, the one you've chosen to present to TWW both intentionally and unintentionally), you're pulling dick moves on anyone you get involved with. On one hand, I want to say "You wouldn't date someone who pulls the shit you do, would you?", except you probably would, and that's part of the problem.

Quote :

"^^ lmao yeah, you're right. I feel like I have it together and then I start dating again and I feel like I need therapy "

At least you're on the right track.

[Edited on March 22, 2009 at 2:07 PM. Reason : holy fucking trainwrecks]

3/22/2009 2:06:16 PM

Quote :

"I really can't pinpoint why I'm so worried about his ex."

Because she's hot as fuck and he obviously has a weakness for her. The only time I've ever "lost" a girl was because of an ex. There's always a possibility for those old feelings to come back.

You might as well just keep this guy around to bang and try and subdue your feelings. Because if you describe the appearances correctly, he's not going to want to stay with you long term.

3/22/2009 2:15:47 PM

YOU

YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

BUT YOU SAY HES JUSTA FRIEND

YA YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND

O BABY

3/22/2009 2:16:31 PM

Quote :

"you need a self help course or some shit because there isn't a person in this story without crippling self-esteem issues"

3/22/2009 2:16:52 PM

^^i concur

3/22/2009 2:17:06 PM

Quote :

"You haven't fallen as hard for the new girl, so why are you dating her? What's the likelihood that you're just rebounding? What's the chances that if the other girl decides to ditch her bf again and comes crying to you that you'll be there for her? If the chances are good that you are there for her, what are the chances you'd go back to her? "

1. Because she is available and not playing fucking games with my emotions?

2. Very likely? What does that mean?

3. What do you mean by "there"? If I wasn't committed to the new girl I'd sleep with the old one and then drop her like she dropped me.

4. 40%. I'm dumb.

3/22/2009 2:22:04 PM

Ahaaa, I was waiting for ambrosia to appear with her usual scathing remarks.


I have actually spent a whole 6 months being single, thanks.... tho it was because I was getting over a guy who dumped me

Quote :

"Because if you describe the appearances correctly"

I'm not saying I'm fugly or anything. And I have more going for me than just looks, unlike her. And he wasn't always so hot -- he started climbing regularly and lost alot of weight and put on muscles.
I hope he wouldnt break up w/ me just because I'm not as hot as what he could be dating.

[Edited on March 22, 2009 at 2:30 PM. Reason : df]

3/22/2009 2:27:28 PM

tl;dr

3/22/2009 2:28:49 PM

Quote :

"I wouldn't go back to girl #1. She sounds like a fucking nutcase."

I think it's funny how many people are saying this. You are thinking rationally. A lot people just getting out of a weird relationship like that aren't thinking rationally at the time. If he is "in love" with this 1st girl, there's a good chance he would let emotions override his common sense.

3/22/2009 11:39:09 PM

didn't read the whole thread. 2nd post said it all though.

3/22/2009 11:43:13 PM

FUCKIN FUCK.

i coulda sworn this sead opportunity when i clicked

I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

3/22/2009 11:43:32 PM

this story doesn't sound biased and one-sided at all - clearly all of the information is out in the open

3/22/2009 11:46:18 PM

Quote :

"A lot people just getting out of a weird relationship like that aren't thinking rationally at the time. If he is "in love" with this 1st girl, there's a good chance he would let emotions override his common sense. "

Love doesn't have to be irrational. It sadly is for most people

3/22/2009 11:49:22 PM

I just skimmed the story, but I read enough to realize that everyone in it was a nutcase.

3/22/2009 11:52:12 PM

You only live once.

life is boring if you play it safe all the time.

Fuck it.
keep seeing him.
forget that other bitch.

3/22/2009 11:58:59 PM

you are fucked silvershadow...

i'm like the dude in this situation. dated a girl just after she left her future husband. stayed together for 6 weeks, then she went back to him. she ended up dumping him 2 months later, but found some new asshole to fall into and has been kinda doing the same thing with him (she's never happy but has so much invested in it she feels like she has to try). year later and id still take her back.


that said of course, id have a very hard decision if i met someone else that i actually liked, but if i had only been with the new girl for a few weeks id dump her in a second.

[Edited on March 23, 2009 at 12:09 AM. Reason : .]

3/23/2009 12:05:11 AM

I got all grades of opinions on relationships, and ain't one of 'em simple.

3/23/2009 2:44:13 AM

Quote :

"You haven't fallen as hard for the new girl, so why are you dating her? What's the likelihood that you're just rebounding? What's the chances that if the other girl decides to ditch her bf again and comes crying to you that you'll be there for her? If the chances are good that you are there for her, what are the chances you'd go back to her?"

1)Because I enjoy being with her, and she gives good head.

2)95% chance it started as a rebound 50% that it's still for that reason

3)80%, i'm a nice guy what do you say

4)0% if she came onto me i might accidentally stick my dick into her and out of her and into her again, but i'm not gonna get back in a relationship with a crazy bitch

3/23/2009 3:21:49 AM

Quote :

"Cause he's hot, and nice, and in shape but geeky and has cats and is into bondage. "

Those grow on trees, unless you are a super freak and want a guy that's into shit eating or something.

3/23/2009 4:37:20 AM

3/23/2009 8:17:02 AM

Quote :

"I really can't pinpoint why I'm so worried about his ex. "

Quote :

"Because she's hot as fuck and he obviously has a weakness for her."

3/23/2009 8:25:48 AM

BITCHES BE CRAZY

3/23/2009 8:54:52 AM

He will hook up with the hot chick again for the sex. Whether or not he considers her relationship-worthy really depends on the guy's ego. Personally, after I've decided to break up with someone, the relationship is over and there is no going back. However, sex isn't out of the question, because it's just sex.

3/23/2009 8:55:40 AM

I wouldn't even go so far as to exempt sex. When it's over, it's over.

I don't know how many booty calls I avoided with the ex. Biggest reason is I didn't know just what I would catch. 2nd - got no use for that, not even cum dumpster.

I've come to the conclusion that the fires that start out torridly, well they burn out damn quick. A good relationship takes a while to kindly. I'd rather build slowly and well, rather than rely on hot, briefly burning infatuation...and this shit seems riddled with a bunch of just that...infatuation.

3/23/2009 9:01:45 AM

Quote :

"1)Because I enjoy being with her, and she gives good head. 2)95% chance it started as a rebound 50% that it's still for that reason 3)80%, i'm a nice guy what do you say 4)0% if she came onto me i might accidentally stick my dick into her and out of her and into her again, but i'm not gonna get back in a relationship with a crazy bitch "

that is exactly what i would have said, good job bigego!

3/23/2009 9:09:10 AM

i read the first post and none of the others - cause there are way too many to read through them all.

triflin' hoes are triflin' hoes.
if they've done it once they'll do it again.

3/23/2009 9:12:19 AM

there are a lot of responses and i've read no more than 5 of them. i saw some good things to quote, the most true being no matter who you are in this story get as far away from it as you can.

But...people are gluttons for punishment and won't, so....

Quote :

"The questions: You haven't fallen as hard for the new girl, so why are you dating her?"

Thats the point of dating, to get to know who people really are instead of merely relying on the first impressions you have of people and the fantasy of who you want that person to be.

Quote :

"What's the likelihood that you're just rebounding?"

100% But that doesn't mean all the interest is just the rebound. The important part is to treat the guy as if he isn't rebounding and don't let it psyche you out, which it is evidently on its way of doing. if it makes you feel any better because you want to 'protect yourself and your emotions' then decide not to put in as much effort, but do this without distancing yourself. mostly let him do the leg work.

Quote :

"What's the chances that if the other girl decides to ditch her bf again and comes crying to you that you'll be there for her?"

that all depends on you, really. if he finds you truly interesting, independent and not a yo-yo of emotion then he probably will stick around with you because he doesn't seek the drama any more. if he finds you to be a puppy dog that is going to sit around and lick his wounds to make him feel better, well, he'll probably go run to her because he'll get a clingy vibe off of you and thats a turn off.

Quote :

"If the chances are good that you are there for her, what are the chances you'd go back to her?"

for me, 0% but that is because i have self-respect and i'm not 19 any more. At this point I know that any girl who is going to put you through all of that isn't worth iti. she moves in with you while moving out from her ex's? weird on many levels. after she moved in and started dating you she moves back in with her ex? that is just begging for future drama and screams of dependency issues. after she runs over your heart with a monster truck with spiked tires she decides that she can call you again as if everything is fine? shes clearly only focused on herself and has no regard for the stress she puts on others. She may be hot, but shes psychotic.

your task, try to appear as not psychotic as possible.

3/23/2009 9:23:27 AM

just ask him these questions yourself... maybe add some tears, that way he can't avoid the questions without feeling like a dick.

3/23/2009 11:29:17 AM

TWW wins again.

His emotional baggage has led him to admit that while he likes me and has fun with me, he hasn't felt that he's been able to open himself up to me emotionally.


I'm going to make a virus to turn all men gay.

3/24/2009 4:00:55 PM

Sounds like he's macking you hardcore.

3/24/2009 4:05:23 PM

sylvershadow how old are you? i just saw this for the first time, and wow. if you're ~18-19 then i'll just have a 'crazy kids' type reaction. hell, even 20. too much older than that and it is time to do a little self evaluation.

3/24/2009 4:13:42 PM

why dont you just fuck both of them, without telling them about the other one????

3/24/2009 4:17:42 PM

i'm sorry sylvershadow

i know firsthand that it's hard when you like someone more than they like you. and it's even harder when you know he's got baggage and you should leave him alone...but knowing what you should do and actually doing it are two different things.

you can rest easy knowing that if he does go back to this girl (and he most certainly will) that she will inevitably hurt him again, and then he'll realize he shoulda stuck around with the girl who actually cared for him.

3/24/2009 4:21:43 PM

sylvershadow, have you ever went back and read all of your relationship threads?

there are a few of them out there

3/24/2009 4:29:30 PM

GrumpyGOP wins this thread:

Quote :

"I don't normally buy into stereotypes in a serious way, but if there's one thing I've seen enough times to be convinced, it's that even reasonable and intelligent women become clinically, short bus retarded about their man's exes"

I have never read a truer evaluation of females. It rings true across the board.

sylvershadow,

In my opinion, just ride it out. Do not get too invested. If he realizes how stupid he is being chasing his ex, he will make the right decision...just keep your phone on.

If you keep doing what you are doing (going about your normal routine), things will work out.

3/24/2009 5:12:18 PM

set em up

3/24/2009 5:19:02 PM