put it in the deucer

6/19/2009 9:41:26 AM

Quote :

"^^Wow. Just...wow."

You've been on TWW a long time. You should not be surprised at all.

Quote :

"the fact is that some people just enjoy doing unexpected nice things...i was in the bojangles drive-through a few years ago and asked the cashier what the people behind me bought and how much it was...she told me and i gave her the extra money for their meal...i have no idea who they were (guy, girl, family, whatever)...it just felt good to do something nice for a stranger (even if they didn't "need" it)"

A couple months ago, I noticed a guy at kroger picked up a bottle of dr bronner's shampoo. I had a half bottle at home that a friend forgot in my car a year ago So I approached him and said 'Hey, I noticed you picked up some dr bronner's. My friend left a bottle at my place a long time ago and I never see her any more. Would you like it?'
He was totally flustered. I was like, 'Well, it's at home and I live really close to here, and I'm not letting a strange man follow me home, no offense. So how do you want to arrange this? Tell ya what - here's my number. If you want it, just text me when you're done shopping or something. If I'm already home, I'll leave and bring it to you. If I'm still here, you can decide on whether or not you want to wait.'
As I walked away, I was like "Shit...it's 11oclock at night at a grocery store in garner, and he's an old man (imagine a vietnam vet type), and I'm a fat chick. I just gave him my phone number unsolicited - he's gonna think I was hitting on him!" He was totally dumbfounded the WHOLE time.

He did call right as I got home, and I took him the shampoo. He gave me a dollar bill for my 'troubles' with his name and number written on it.

It was all truly about 1) saving someone some money 2) avoiding throwing something away but getting it out of my house

I don't know what the $bux guy's intentions were. What you do in a case like that is say "Oh, thank you so much, but I'm good. I appreciate the offer, though." If he persists, then you allow him to buy you something small.

Quote :

"I would like to say I"m sure he was just being nice, but I also am super paranoid about accepting drinks and would be worried as to whether or not it had Ketamine, etc, in it."

Oh yeah...that barista is his partner in crime, and they drug girls' drinks and have their way with them later

Jesus christ.

Quote :

"2 I've talked with girls getting drugged in open places, at random times. Trust me, it can happen... You look away once then BAM your drink is laced with some crazy shit that will be out of your system by the time you come to thus allowing the perp to get away with said drugging."

Well, then, maybe you shouldn't consume anything you haven't prepared yourself, and that has never left your control.
You know, since the world is so big and scary, and out to GIT! women.

6/19/2009 9:47:23 AM

complicit

6/19/2009 9:54:09 AM

Quote :

"his intentions were to eventually insert his penis into your vagina."

6/19/2009 9:54:29 AM

i hate the wolf web sometimes

[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 9:55 AM. Reason : .]

6/19/2009 9:54:47 AM

The fact that you even had to ask this question is one of the many reasons men naturally do not trust women. This reminds me of one of my ex's who didn't think it was wrong to go dancing with other guys, go out with random single guys to coffee shops, and go to the beach alone with single men without informing their boyfriend beforehand. These women are either very dumb, very naive, or ex girlfriends.

[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:00 AM. Reason : -]

6/19/2009 9:59:13 AM

Quote :

"This reminds me of one of my ex's who didn't think it was wrong to go dancing with other guys, go out with random single guys to coffee shops, and go to the beach without informing their boyfriend beforehand."

I agree, all those things you mentioned are wrong, especially if it's a married woman doing them.

But I didn't go to the coffee shop with the guy. I wasn't going to sit down and have a conversation with the guy. I walked in, got in line behind someone who struck up a conversation because that's typically what southerners do - we talk friendly to strangers about mundane things like the weather. Then he offered to buy my drink, probably because we'd just spent 3 or 4 minutes talking and he wanted to be nice. Had I accepted, I'd have thanked him once or twice and been on my way. There was no sitting down to have a conversation while we sipped our drinks.

So tell me, how am I dumb or naive?

6/19/2009 10:03:05 AM

You might not have wanted to sit down and have a convo with the guy

But I'm sure the guy wasn't going to be done w/ you after paying for your drink

6/19/2009 10:05:41 AM

Quote :

"You are really too paranoid if you think that something like this is gonna happen at Starbucks. Especially since, if I'd let him buy the drink, I'd have immediately walked out the door, gotten in my car, and driven away. It's not like I was sticking around to chat. I was on my way to work."

I only became this way after I had to counsel girls who had this happen to them when they literally only looked away once. : \ So sue me, I'm just super safe about it.

But I think you did the right thing by not accepting.

Quote :

"Oh yeah...that barista is his partner in crime, and they drug girls' drinks and have their way with them later Jesus christ."

Ambrosia... shut the fuck up. It only takes someone looking away for a second. Until you've spoken and counseled women who have been in situations like these (as ridiculous as they may sound), don't even be a smart ass about it.



[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:11 AM. Reason : .]

6/19/2009 10:07:31 AM

You did the right thing by turning him down, so why are you second guessing yourself afterwards? Men have clear motives, always.

6/19/2009 10:08:41 AM

^I guess I just thought you were calling me dumb and/or naive for thinking he was just a nice guy who wanted to do a good thing.

^^Samwise, she's basically saying that in this particular situation, where you get your coffee directly from the barista and then you walk out the door, what you're talking about is almost 100% not likely to happen.

6/19/2009 10:10:02 AM

Just look at the title of this thread: "Should I let him?"

Sexually suggestive.

6/19/2009 10:10:29 AM

Quote :

"Just look at the title of this thread: "Should I let him?" Sexually suggestive."

How else was I gonna get TWW to click?

6/19/2009 10:11:47 AM

Quote :

"I only became this way after I had to counsel girls who had this happen to them when they literally only looked away once. : \ So sue me, I'm just super safe about it. "

Yes, but was it at a place like starbucks, or was it at something like a bar?

I remember your posts about what you do and what context you heard this in.
But you cannot go through life with this 'well, this happened once to someone and things ended horribly, so I have to X, Y and Z' mentality. You will end up an agoraphobe, crazy bad lady, or the kind of mother who constantly cautions her kids about every single danger in the world.

Shit happens. There's only so much we can do to stop it. If you don't direct your caution wisely (i.e., evaluate likelihood and risk), you're going to waste an awful lot of energy, and miss out on a lot in life.

Quote :

"Ambrosia... shut the fuck up. It only takes someone looking away for a second. Until you've spoken and counseled women who have been in situations like these (as ridiculous as they may sound), don't even be a smart ass about it. "

Despite your edit, my post still stands.
And by the way, I have.

I can't convince you that fear doesn't pair well with life, but I sure can try. Especially when the conclusions you've come to demonstrate a remarkable lack of critical thinking.


[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:13 AM. Reason : sl]

6/19/2009 10:11:48 AM

No, it wasn't at just bars. The situations have been in every day situations, even down to events with friends (bbqs, etc).

Did I EVER say I was so paranoid that I freak out if someone even offers me a drink?? No. I didn't. I don't let it affect my life to the point of becoming mentally unbalanced -- all I'm saying is I wouldn't have accepted a drink from a damn stranger.

And yes, I'm going to miss out on so much of my life by not taking drinks from random guys.

Quote :

"Especially when the conclusions you've come to demonstrate a remarkable lack of critical thinking."

Seriously? Geez, I am just so naive for not taking drinks from strangers... Guess I need to critically think about their true actions next time one is offered to me - even though I'm supposed to be an advocate against accepting shit like that.

[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:16 AM. Reason : .]

6/19/2009 10:13:44 AM

Quote :

"all I'm saying is I wouldn't have accepted a drink from a damn stranger."

but you aren't accepting a drink from a stranger in this instance. you're letting a guy hand over cash for your drink, and then accepting the drink from the barista.

6/19/2009 10:14:51 AM

Quote :

"No, it wasn't at just bars. The situations have been in every day situations, even down to events with friends (bbqs, etc). Did I EVER say I was so paranoid that I freak out if someone even offers me a drink?? No. I didn't. I don't let it affect my life to the point of becoming mentally unbalanced -- all I'm saying is I wouldn't have accepted a drink from a damn stranger."

You're not accepting a drink from a stranger in the OP's post. You're accepting it from the barista (god, I hate using that word )

You really don't see a difference between someone putting something in a drink while on the clock, and thus risking their job, and a drugged drink in a social situation?

6/19/2009 10:15:34 AM

So, thumper, did you have any sexual thoughts about this guy whatsoever? Yes or no?

6/19/2009 10:15:58 AM

hooksaw is beatin it to this thread.

6/19/2009 10:16:33 AM

hmmm, i don't think i would be too comfortable if my wife came home and said, this super nice guy that i was innocently flirting with in the Starbucks line bought my drink. i think you did the right thing. you paid for your own drink, but got the satisfaction in knowing you still got game.

6/19/2009 10:17:08 AM

Flirting?
Where did that come from?

6/19/2009 10:17:43 AM

Quote :

"So, thumper, did you have any sexual thoughts about this guy whatsoever? Yes or no?"

absolutely not. i was shocked, flattered, and embarrassed - in that order. and then it was over, he was out the door with his coffee while i waited for my latte.

6/19/2009 10:17:55 AM

Quote :

"You really don't see a difference between someone putting something in a drink while on the clock, and thus risking their job, and a drugged drink in a social situation?"

Who's to say the guy wouldn't have brought it to her? Fact is, the whole point of my post in the first place was to point out the stranger could have done something. I never mentioned the barista, now did I?

6/19/2009 10:18:21 AM

Sorry, but I don't believe you. Was he attractive to you or not?

6/19/2009 10:19:00 AM

spank spank spank

6/19/2009 10:19:22 AM

Quote :

"Who's to say the guy wouldn't have brought it to her? Fact is, the whole point of my post in the first place was to point out the stranger could have done something. I never mentioned the barista, now did I?"

Why would he bring me my drink? Have you even been in a Starbucks? You order your drink, then you stand at the counter til they call out your name and/or type of drink and you walk up and grab it from them. You're reaching now.

6/19/2009 10:19:30 AM

Quote :

"Who's to say the guy wouldn't have brought it to her? "

Probably the part where it's starbucks, they're in line for drinks to go, and you get your own drink?

Quote :

"Fact is, the whole point of my post in the first place was to point out the stranger could have done something. I never mentioned the barista, now did I?"

...Who is going to make said drink at starbucks, if it's not the barista?

6/19/2009 10:19:49 AM

Quote :

"Flirting? Where did that come from?"

from her first post, but i guess she meant just the guy was flirty.

6/19/2009 10:20:15 AM

Yes you should of let him! It's a free latte. Take it, say thank you, walk away. If you see him again in there, you should drop the H word, "My husband and I blah blah blah...". He could of just being polite, nice, and wealthy. If I were all of those things I'd buy some one a latte too.

6/19/2009 10:20:16 AM

^4 I'm not reaching, I was explaining why I wouldn't have taken a drink from a stranger and certain people decided to create a mountain out of a mole hill.

The whole point of my explaining was that it only takes you looking away once to slip you something.

^3 It doesn't have to be the person making the drink to slip you something. Regardless, my opinion still stands about not accepting drinks from strangers... Starbucks, bar, wherever.

[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:22 AM. Reason : .]

6/19/2009 10:21:28 AM

Quote :

"Sorry, but I don't believe you. Was he attractive to you or not?"

I guess he was somewhat attractive. But that doesn't matter to me. He could have been ugly as sin and I'd still have declined. Because ultimately, it felt weird to have a stranger offer to buy my drink. I'm not saying it would have been wrong to accept, but I'm saying it felt weird to me at the time.

Which is the whole reason I came to TWW and asked the question. Is it wrong to accept or not? Because I honestly don't know if it's right or wrong. I just know I was flattered that he would offer, and a little weirded out that he would offer, all at the same time.

6/19/2009 10:21:34 AM

6/19/2009 10:22:02 AM

Quote :

"^ I'm not reaching, I was explaining why I wouldn't have taken a drink from a stranger"

And my aim was to ask why on earth that point of view was applicable in this situation.

Because it's not.

^^you second guess yourself too much. You made a decision. End of story. Maybe you'll cross this bridge again, and then you'll get to make a decision again. In a situation like this, "right" is pretty nebulous, and very inconsequential.

[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:23 AM. Reason : dghfl]

6/19/2009 10:22:20 AM

he was just trying to run some game.

he wanted a little huggin'...a little squeezin'.

6/19/2009 10:23:09 AM

I thought this thread was going to be about anal sex

6/19/2009 10:23:15 AM

Quote :

"The whole point of my explaining was that it only takes you looking away once to slip you something. "

Every drink at Starbucks has a lid on it.

Every. Single. Drink.

Your view makes sense in a bar scene, or even at a house party, but in Starbucks it doesn't make a damn bit of sense. So stop trying to justify your theory in here.

6/19/2009 10:23:33 AM

I'm totally down with caution.

But I am vehemently opposed to overcautious behavior.

6/19/2009 10:24:25 AM

^ It is if he had brought it to her or handed it to her while she wasn't looking.

^2 Jesus Christ. Stop acting like I'm being overly cautious by not accepting a drink from a fucking stranger.

^3 I wasn't trying to lay down a theory, k? And to be honest, I haven't been to Starbucks in a while so I'm not sure if the lids have the little covers for the holes and whatnot. Yall are making a mountain out of a mole hill. I was never like, "Oh my God you could have so been drugged."

[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:27 AM. Reason : .]

[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:28 AM. Reason : I'm not going to lie, I don't go there much. ]

6/19/2009 10:24:31 AM

Jesus, you really haven't been to a Starbucks have you? No one hands you your drink but the barista.

6/19/2009 10:25:19 AM

Quote :

"i thought this thread was gonna be about anal sex i was wrong"

also, Samwise sounds like a perfect example of why some drugs have an undeserved bad reputation. tell your friends not to get so fucked up on booze and then they don't have to make up stories about what might have been slipped in their drink.

6/19/2009 10:26:22 AM

Yeah I'll go ahead and tell the victims that ^ next time I'm counseling.

6/19/2009 10:28:46 AM

I didn't read the whole thread, or anything besides the first post for that matter.

but i love it when random guys buy drinks for my wife when we're out at a bar. It's that many less drinks *I* have to buy. And she likes those $8 fruity-tini type shits.

some of my other guy friends think i should be pissed off about it. I don't see why. It's not like she's going home with anyone else besides me.

6/19/2009 10:29:45 AM

The barista was in on it. Don't you guys watch Law & Order?

6/19/2009 10:29:53 AM

Quote :

"^ It is if he had brought it to her or handed it to her while she wasn't looking. "

Two options here:
Either you're really this stupid, or you're pulling a hooksaw.

But I don't know which is the lesser evil, so it's hard to decide which one qualifies as the benefit of the doubt

Quote :

"^2 Jesus Christ. Stop acting like I'm being overly cautious by not accepting a drink from a fucking stranger."

She's not.
She's pointing out that the premise on which you based your answer isn't pertinent, and you are hellbent that it is. She explains WHY it's not, and you're still trying to make the same point, on the same premise. Despite having the same thing explained different ways, repeatedly.

If you're not familiar with starbucks, it's probably not a good idea to insist on arguing about how it works there when the point you were trying to make hinges upon that thing that you aren't familiar with

[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:31 AM. Reason : ]

6/19/2009 10:30:27 AM

Stranger pays cashier for my drink.
I walk over to the barista.
Barista hands me my drink, likely after said stranger has already exited the building.

WHERE ARE THE ROOFIES PEOPLE?

6/19/2009 10:31:53 AM

^2 I worked at a coffee shop, so I saw it was common practice for people to bring other people their drinks. Thus the reason I think it can happen. Excuse me if I don't know the laws of Starbucks.

and that comment was to you, not her. The arrows must've have been screwed up. Either way, I was referring to your comment about my being "overly cautious."

^ You guys are seriously taking that comment way out of hand. I never referred to the drink you got from the barista.

[Edited on June 19, 2009 at 10:33 AM. Reason : .]

6/19/2009 10:32:29 AM

Exactly. Jesus, get off it samwise. Have you never been to a fucking Starbucks before?


Have you ever even been to a COFFEESHOP?

6/19/2009 10:32:48 AM

The real question is who the fuck is dropping roofies in coffee at 8am?

6/19/2009 10:33:30 AM

I need to know the location of said Starbucks so I can tip the barista to spike my own drink.

6/19/2009 10:33:40 AM

^I'll spike your drink baby.

Quote :

"^ I worked at a coffee shop, so I saw it was common practice for people to bring other people their drinks. Thus the reason I think it can happen. Excuse me if I don't know the laws of Starbucks. "

If you are there with a few people and you're gonna chill and drink your coffee on the couches, then sure...your friends may bring you your drink.

But at 8am on a Friday morning, 97.6% of people that come through that door are on their way to the office and are in line to get their drink and go. So they will stand by the barista and wait for their name to be called.

Again, you're reaching here and it's starting to give me a headache.

6/19/2009 10:34:03 AM