haha they make you try to wear so many pads in middle school

girdle, knee pads, thigh pads, cup, etc

All I wore were shoulder pads

had to stay flexible

6/22/2009 4:04:29 PM

2

^^^
such a joke would have been entirely lost on them

6/22/2009 4:05:19 PM

i told someone a joke this morning, they came back an hour later and laughed.

6/22/2009 4:06:31 PM

Third grade, we were taking a field trip to Wake Forest to hear Maya Angelou speak or something for Black History Month. Some teacher or administrator had the incredible idea that we should dress as a figure we felt was important to African American history. Being the dumb white kid I was in 1993, I decided that MC Hammer would be an appropriate choice. Somewhere I got these ridiculous cotton Hammer pants with neon hand prints and writing all over them ("Can't Touch This", "Please Hammer don't hurt 'em", "Too Legit To Quit", etc.). To complete the outfit, I had a shiny vest and a pair of pretty bitchin Blue Blockers.

Somehow, though, I missed the bus to Wake and was trapped at school all day dressed like MC fucking Hammer. An older me would have been able to laugh at the situation; the seven year old version, however, decided to spend the day locked in the handicapped bathroom.

6/22/2009 4:10:54 PM

haha I was Vanilla Ice for Halloween one year

We would have been funny as shit trick or treating together

6/22/2009 4:15:07 PM

Vanilla Ice played the Twin City Rib Festival in Winston a few weeks ago. I bet that went over well.

6/22/2009 4:17:48 PM

yeah

he probably got paid and ate some ribs

and you're posting about it on the internet after revealing you hid in the cripples' bathroom because you were dressed as mc hammer

6/22/2009 4:18:47 PM

Quote :

"Some teacher or administrator had the incredible idea that we should dress as a figure we felt was important to African American history. Being the dumb white kid I was in 1993, I decided that MC Hammer would be an appropriate choice."

if you really did that, you are a king. that shit is hilarious.

[Edited on June 22, 2009 at 4:20 PM. Reason : ohh ADD jackleg missed the part where you hid.... ]

6/22/2009 4:19:36 PM

FROSH GOT ME

SO GOOD

6/22/2009 4:23:53 PM

hey i'm just putting in perspective

the man's still making a living doing what he loves

even if his star has fallen quite a bit

and you've got to respect that

6/22/2009 4:24:36 PM

I wasn't really slighting Ice for living the dream. I just can't imagine how receptive a crowd of redneck rib lovers was to that dream when it was amplified.

6/22/2009 4:27:17 PM

Back on topic, here's djBLOW's epic first post ever, lost to the depths of time:

Quote :

"Alright, so I was hooking up with this girl the other night. We had been out on a couple of dates and we had just gotten home from a bar. We were in her roomate's bedroom hooking up. Then it got a little wild. Lets just say she caught me off guard and her face ended up pretty messy. She seemed a little traumatized. I'm really not the kind of guy who does this kind of thing a lot, but it gets worse. She was in the bathroom washing out her eyes when her roomate walked in the front door. I ran out the back door and drove home. Big mistake. Now she won't return my calls . What should I do?"

6/22/2009 4:27:49 PM

Quote :

"I once had what I thought was an online girlfriend for my entire sophomore year. She said she lived a another dorm, but we would only chat and stuff but she said she loved me. We would even have fantastic cyber sex every so often. We would make plans to meet on in the library for a study date or outside one of her classes. Many times I would hold a yellow rose so she would know it was me but she never came. She would say she saw me but was too afraid or intimidated my my good looks. We would have the sweetest conversations for hours on end. I planned on asking her to marry me when we finally met. It turns out she was nothing more than a fake AIM persona made up by the dickhead guys down the hall. The entire floor would get together and make a night of it. To this day, I still consider her to be one of the most fulfilling online relationships I have ever had. Even if she wasn't real, she was real to me. "

i can only hope this is real

6/22/2009 4:29:19 PM

i dont want to talk about it

6/22/2009 4:32:05 PM

Oh holy shit.

6/22/2009 4:34:21 PM

ITS STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT

6/22/2009 4:37:07 PM

Quote :

"I once rented a redbox movie for what I thought was unlimited time for $1. When I returned it after over a week, I saw they charged me $1 per night!! Then I made a thread on TWW about how Redbox fucked me over Fkn crooks! Pretty embarrassing though."

6/22/2009 4:37:18 PM

I was in the bookstacks and this random guy reached around while passing me and caressed me. I was already kind of turned on from earlier that day so I let out this porn moan. Really fucking loud. He was cackling when he walked away, I wanted to kill him I was so humiliated. No, I didn't go back to that floor the same time the next day, of course not...

One time a bf in CO walked in on me masturbating, but that embarrassment was quickly fixed when he took advantage of the situation.

Boss came on to me. That was actually the worst ITP.

Oh yeah, bad breakup turned miserable -my ex called my boss and lied about me. He was Moroccan so that's normal, though. Asshat.

[Edited on June 22, 2009 at 8:06 PM. Reason : .]

6/22/2009 8:02:07 PM

6/22/2009 8:58:15 PM

ScHpEnXeL walked in on me in the bathroom last night.

Luckily I was just peeing.

6/22/2009 9:03:15 PM

lol.. i was going after the dog. she smelled that shit yo

6/22/2009 9:22:46 PM

6/22/2009 9:23:37 PM

probably when i stripped a gear, flipped out and walked out of highschool forever

6/22/2009 9:34:12 PM

im watching "Jizz in my pants" at my parents house when my dad walks in, i pause so i dont have to explain what im watching,
he walks over to me and asks me to look something up on the net
i look back and the video is frozen with that dude with his shirt off laying back with the jizz face on him
no girl in sight so the thing looks like gay porn

why does my dad always walk in at the weirdest moments,
i could be watching news and as soon as they do a story on porn him or my mom walk in and we get the awkward silence

6/30/2009 4:52:47 PM

I was at FFA camp (actually, SLC, not that it means anything to most of you) the summer before my senior year of high school. I was good friends with a former state officer who was going to help me out with running for office next year. I had a little bit of a crush on him and was trying to be hot shit when we kept meeting up outside of the scheduled events to hang out casually.

Anyway, there was one time that we had been hanging out in the little store they had there, and I had to leave for a workshop, so I head out the door. He was talking to me, so I did this little head turn, comment over my shoulder thing that I thought looked cute. Because I wasn't paying attention, I missed the fact that there is a step leading outside, tripped, and face planted.

He was immediately outside trying to help me out and ask if I was okay, and I ended up just running to my dorm and crying for a little while because I was so humiliated. Shit like that is super serious when you're 17.

6/30/2009 5:28:08 PM

I asked tartsquid out on a date via PM, and accompanied the message with dong pics. Her response PM was half a page full of 'HAHAHAHAH AHA AHAHA AHA"

6/30/2009 5:39:44 PM

I asked EMCE out on a date via PM, and accompanied the message with dong pics. His response PM was a page and a half life size image of his own dong. I sheepishly retreated my advances.

6/30/2009 6:03:48 PM