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7/6/2009 11:44:51 PM

It would be a group of "used to be hot" women talking about what cute thing their kids say, or what their husband does for a living, or what Zumba/Sudoku/John and Kate/Michael Jackson is dead/guess who found me on Facebook crap that they consider a life.

Weirdly enough, only 2 of them would know each other.

7/7/2009 12:03:02 AM

it would get ugly, as that some of them were the reason for others becoming ex's

but the all star team would be these 5

- the girl who claimed to be a prophet of god and that people were going to die
- the girl who left me for a more christian man (who knocked her up and bailed)
- the girl who said i shouldnt drink (now has no license due to multiple DUI's)
- the girl who transferred away from State to be with her new bf (who then dumped her)
- the girl who got us kicked out of a strip club cause she was touching the girls

but it would be fun to watch

[Edited on July 7, 2009 at 12:22 AM. Reason : and some of those are TWWers]

7/7/2009 12:22:22 AM

you sure know how to pick em stinger

7/7/2009 12:23:13 AM

yeah i know

i need the adam sandler click part where he goes through the ex's

i would laugh, and cry

7/7/2009 12:24:31 AM

im pretty sure there would be no conversation, they would all try to kill me

7/7/2009 12:24:47 AM

I've had mostly peaceful break-ups... and none of them really know the others...
so it would be pretty dry and boring. We'd all be relatively cool but distant with each other, and conversations would likely tend to be about music or whatever college major they're in now...

[Edited on July 7, 2009 at 12:32 AM. Reason : .]

7/7/2009 12:30:48 AM

Quote :

"they'd probably talk about how awesome I am"

7/7/2009 6:49:54 AM

They would all say that I use perfect grammar in chat rooms.

7/7/2009 6:55:16 AM

High School Stoner, College Stoner, Frat Boy Stoner, Symphony Stoner, Photographer Stoner and IT Stoner would sneak off to the bathroom to smoke a bowl prior to the festivities. Then they'd beg me for money so they could order a pizza. The two Government Contractors and the two army guys would freak out about their clearance and the copious amounts of marijuana in the room. Emo Movie Nerd would just glare at everyone and talk shit under his breath.

Meanwhile, Playa would try to grope me under the table.

7/7/2009 7:22:27 AM

haha you dated vinylbandit?

7/7/2009 7:27:41 AM

I don't think I did. stoner, I presume?

7/7/2009 7:33:16 AM

we'd play monopoly till one said she had to work tomorrow and go to sleep, thenthe rest would would write "BUTT" on her upper lip and watch soft core skin flicks and watch me play starcraft


all those stoners and somehow im not on the list

[Edited on July 7, 2009 at 7:35 AM. Reason : dr rockso]

7/7/2009 7:34:37 AM

^^ haha nah, the glare and talk shit under his breath music/movie elitist.

7/7/2009 7:35:28 AM

What's with movie nerds and rage? I'd rather date a stoner(Grant Stoner) any day. Less rage. Smoke a bowl and just relax, guy.

7/7/2009 7:42:07 AM

I think my ex's would all get along great, and more than likely they wouldn't even talk about me just cause I tend to date the kind of guys that don't seem to give a shit. All conversation would be about video games and possibly physics.

except for one guy. he might get castrated and bleed to death before he made it to the table.

7/7/2009 7:48:40 AM

i would have never guessed from all the energy you have. too much energy makes me sleepy

7/7/2009 7:49:45 AM

^^ LOL. Cheater? Or just overall jerk who deserves revenge?

^ And with my ADHD, I need someone mellow to keep me grounded. Have you ever seen a couple where both partners are ADHD? It's a nightmare.

7/7/2009 7:57:58 AM

they would probably chat superficially



then my jealous gf would come in and get pissed

7/7/2009 8:07:57 AM

not a cheater (unless it was with his sister, who often opted to spend more time with and wouldn't really doubt if they had) just stupid and inconsiderate and very misleading.

7/7/2009 8:19:35 AM

i'm sorry for trying to grope you under the table lucy

I just cant help it

7/7/2009 8:31:11 AM

If I had to do this a year ago, it would have been worthy of pay-per-view without a doubt. So Married Girl and Surfer girl would talk about how cool I am and how much fun I was, and Lifeguard Girl would try to convince everyone to join campus ministries even though she was (and possibly still is) the wildest of all of them. However, the real throw down would be between Debutante and Ginger, with a side fight between Ginger and Tramp. Without getting into too many details, the Debutante and Ginger relationships kind of crossed each other time-wise, and though neither one of them could hit the broad side of Married Girl's ass, they would definitely try to kill each other. The side fight between Ginger and Tramp would ensue if and only if Ginger won (it's a toss-up at this point, check Vegas for odds), but would be solely instigated by Ginger who thought that I had always had a thing for Tramp. Then there's Fling, who would be trying to psychoanalyze why we didn't work, but with everything else going on in the room, I can't be certain I would even know she was talking.

So after about 20 minutes, I'd be left with Married Girl, Surfer Girl, Lifeguard Girl, Debutante, and Fling (if Ginger and Tramp weren't killed in the aforementioned Thunderdome Extravaganza, I would kick them out to save my sanity). All of them except fling would likely just talk with me and each other about what's up with their lives, and Fling would be giving them all the "eat shit and die" look. I would soon get bored and leave.

7/7/2009 8:45:15 AM

Misfit and I are still friends, so he'd probably have mostly nice things to say about me, but on the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised to hear him say that I really fucked up his head with my games. I'll freely admit that at the time, he was something of an experiment.

CHEEZ would probably have nothing to say to everyone else, though if prompted to say something about me, would say that I'm a bossy, know it all bitch.

Sally is too afraid of men to have a conversation with them, unless she's changed by miles since we dated. She'd probably accuse me of lying to her and being unsupportive, because in the end I was very honest about not being able to deal with her neuroses and the fact that social interaction terrifies her.

7/7/2009 9:06:12 AM

cheeze?

7/7/2009 9:09:04 AM

Ok... let's give this a try... I'll go in chronological order.

The guy I lost my V card to in high school would go on and on about either his new fiance or world of warcraft. Late high school bf would talk about working at the tire store, fixing up Miatas, how he still lives with his parents, and the 17 year old he's dating (ew). Early college bf/fiance would say something gay about feelings before remarking, again, how nice it would be to have a child since his crazy ex (before me) ran away with their kid and never came back. Middle college bf would probably talk about pulp and paper engineering and maybe about his new wife. Late college bf would sit in the corner quiet because he got high right before he came since he was already sure he would hate everyone and whatever music we played would be shitty (his former band's stuff is the only good music on the planet). The guys that I slept with that weren't boyfriends (not really ex's, but whatever) would probably get drunk and then go to a strip club.

7/7/2009 9:15:32 AM

I don't drink anymore, TenaciousC

7/7/2009 9:23:40 AM

the first love girl would come and be really excited to see me and get to know everyone but after 10 minutes of conversation would say shes starting to feel something for me again and this isn't right since she has a husband now.

crazy psycho detached from reality more than most other girls girl would tell me she was divorcing her husband for me and that she never meant for things to go wrong and would do anything for me. At this point I would have to remind her of the restraining order and ask why she is there.

crazy sex fest girl would bring some dude just to piss me off and leave to go to the bathroom and have ridiculously loud and awesome sounding sex with him. she would likely have him fingerbang her under the table once they eventually made it back.

stupid destined to be really fat one day girl would come in and tell me how awesome her life is now and how she is doing so well and that I shouldn't have dumped her only to realize that I don't give a shit which would infuriate her to no end. she would then get on the cell phone and create plans to get to me with her equally codependent female friends .

and then there is her. she would walk in late, but not too late and sit down politely snickering at the drama around me. once the others left she would talk to me about fascinating things for hours on end. right before saying goodbye I would break and say that I shouldn't have broken up with her and my immaturity was completely responsible for everything that happened. she would softly say she knows, but our time has passed. at this point she would kiss my cheek and appear to float softly out the door.

I'd then go home and rub one out to the third one to forget about the events with the last one.

7/7/2009 9:28:11 AM

I never realized TenaciousC was a female.

7/7/2009 9:29:29 AM

Mr. Betty Boop Obsessed wouldn't show b/c he's a hermit. Mr. Philosophy and Captain would get in a philosophical discussion and pretend like they actually liked each other, when in all actuality Captain would have rathered Mr. Philosophy fell off a cliff back in the day. Captain would probably be stoned, and Mr. Philosophy would get in to some public policy tirade, talk too fast and make vast claims and plans on how he'll save the world...but then get too bored to do it. If I was there, it would start out okay and we'd get along, but eventually I would get in an argument with both...especially Captain.

Then there's the I "dated" in early high school that never lasted more than a few months...There's Mr. Taiwan who's single, Mr. Football is married and DJ & Mr. Fireman's son both have a little girl, but the five of us remained friends so we would get along, shoot the shit, and catch up. Mr. Taiwan would also complain about women and how miserable he is, and the four of us would tell him to be happy with himself first. Mr. Bleach would show up for a second then probably leave--thank goodness.

7/7/2009 9:31:13 AM

^^Yeah...

She won't show any pictures, but if I remember correctly she's pretty bangin'

[Edited on July 7, 2009 at 9:33 AM. Reason : j]

7/7/2009 9:31:53 AM

7/7/2009 9:32:59 AM

Quote :

"High School Stoner, College Stoner, Frat Boy Stoner, Symphony Stoner, Photographer Stoner and IT Stoner would sneak off to the bathroom to smoke a bowl prior to the festivities. Then they'd beg me for money so they could order a pizza. The two Government Contractors and the two army guys would freak out about their clearance and the copious amounts of marijuana in the room. Emo Movie Nerd would just glare at everyone and talk shit under his breath. Meanwhile, Playa would try to grope me under the table."

Quote :

"Mr. Philosophy would get in to some public policy tirade, talk too fast and make vast claims and plans on how he'll save the world...but then get too bored to do it."

LOLOLOLOL. These are PRECIOUS.

7/7/2009 9:50:21 AM

evil batshit insane girl would show up if there was any food or drink to consume. She'd talk about the new book series she's into until all the food and drink was gone and then she'd promptly leave as soon as she got bored.

OCD self-centered nutjob bitch would show up in an immaculate outfit and would be very polite at first, but would be a bitch nonetheless. Then she would freak out if anyone did anything that made her world seem less perfect. Since she doesn't know how to carry on a conversation that isn't entirely about her, I'd probably talk to her a little to break the silence and to be polite. The topics of discussion would most likely be about her obsessions, but she wouldn't eat or drink anything and she'd eventually leave in a hurry anyway.

Tiny young asian chick would show up and talk about UNC constantly. After done ranting about UNC she would talk about her trip to Eygpt where she broke her legs in that cab that one time. She was cool people, but she was way too young for me, and yet a lot of fun.

Crazy cheerleader girl would show up and be easy to talk with and shoot the shit. Wasn't a serious relationship really and I still consider her cool people. She would probably be the most sociable person there.

Hot German redhead bitch would show up and probably be the one chick I wanted to take home that night. She would be easy to talk too and kinda stuckup, but she would be the hottest chick there easily.

[Edited on July 7, 2009 at 9:57 AM. Reason : -]

7/7/2009 9:50:34 AM

Did anybody ever date a cut throat bitch?

7/7/2009 1:46:01 PM

gods damn it

ok, so the wildcat would probably ignore everyone else and make jokes about them all, making me laugh a lot. the jewish princess and i would probably drink beer and have fun. the southern socialite would probably make friends, but she's married and wouldn't care. the italian lawyer would probably cause some sort of drama and get into a verbal altercation with a few of the girls around, and then i'd get sued. the curly christian probably wouldn't show, she's moved on and is much better for it. the 19 year old and the world traveler would probably cuss me out and leave. the hair dresser and the waitress would be nice, but would only offer small talk. the sheltered redneck would get laughed at by my other ex's, then i'd get grilled as to why i dated her in the first place...then i'd point to the redneck's body. i'd probably get punched for that. the weirdo that can't make eye contact would probably get drunk, alone in the corner. the anime chick would probably be on her iphone the whole time if she wasn't having to explain all her tattoos.

i think thats it. i dont think id get hurt, but i think a lot of them would downplay how much they liked me, since i dumped every single one of them.

Quote :

"Did anybody ever date a cut throat bitch?"

**see italian lawyer**

[Edited on July 7, 2009 at 2:14 PM. Reason : bitches]

7/7/2009 2:12:53 PM

NOBODY WOULD BE AT MY GOD DAMNED TABLE SON!

7/7/2009 2:14:15 PM

SONTURBO IS A LONER SON

LIKE A DRIFTER HE WAS BORN TO WALK ALONE

HERE HE GOES AGAIN ON HIS OWN SON

7/7/2009 2:16:14 PM

7/7/2009 2:16:58 PM

It'd end in a fight.. that's all I know for sure

7/7/2009 2:17:32 PM

You guys have had a lot of relationships.

7/7/2009 7:38:42 PM

^^^^^^ If the Italian Lawyer is who I think she is, then she tried to steal money from my bedroom one time. I caught her redhanded and she tried to laugh it off.

Silly girls.

7/7/2009 7:40:20 PM

why can't I find a chick that smokes weed AND is interested in me

7/7/2009 7:41:29 PM

manwhore would probably make extensive fun of roadkill....while roadkill sat back, smoked a cig, and flicked manwhore off with his partially severed finger..


and i would be amused.

7/7/2009 7:44:30 PM

^^ive never known her to steal, except for my dignity.

7/9/2009 3:56:46 PM

I would like to preface this by saying that finding a restaurant that both could agree on would be impossible.

Duke probably would realize how retarded NCSU Rebound was and stop talking about 10 minutes through the meal like I always did. Rebound would try to provoke drama until we played along. I would drink water nervously until I excused myself. I would return to the table to folded arms and spite.

Conversations would be one-sided, inane, and brief. Crushed dreams may come up, followed immediately by silence, and eventually both would remember how busy they needed to pretend to be.

I'd pick up the entire tab.

7/23/2009 3:34:16 PM

Quote :

"If you sat with all your ex's at one table"

i would need at least two tables and few extra chairs

7/23/2009 3:34:42 PM

one of them would be checking out the others

7/23/2009 3:38:43 PM

lol i, too, would have that problem

7/23/2009 3:41:01 PM

Quote :

"the girl who got us kicked out of a strip club cause she was touching the girls"

why'd you break up with this girl?

7/23/2009 3:45:10 PM

i would set these bitches up

7/23/2009 3:45:35 PM