Quote :

"we see our friends"

8/19/2009 5:00:54 PM

Quote :

"marriage is different though since you're living together but i still see having separate activities going on you're stuck."

It doesn't have to do with living together, plenty of people live together before marriage. Something changes mentally, in both parties, once you're hitched.

8/19/2009 5:01:02 PM

The worst is when ( and I fucking hate this) you're organizing an outing, going to a bar, a game, whatever, with your friends, and one of the guys shows up with his wife/girlfriend, completely killing the vibe for the evening. I'll never understand this

8/19/2009 5:01:23 PM

^^ that shit is somewhere in the almighty bible of bro code, you don't bring a hoe to a bro outing.

8/19/2009 5:02:35 PM

Quote :

"after the wife voice question i said justin usually texts me anyway and it's either "on my way", "k", or "stopping at saps'/danny's/brett's to check out something on their computer" which i know is code for--man talk, beer, and actually fixing their computer especially YOU"

hahahaha

8/19/2009 5:03:41 PM

everything said is totally true.

Quote :

"You're going to move because you're single and you're friends aren't? How is that any different than just seeking out new friends here? Isn't that what you'd have to do if you move?"

This is my hometown where if i didnt have these guys there would be no one. If i wanted to make new friends i'd absolutely have to move. I think it would be good for me, but i've known most of these guys since 3rd grade so its hard to imagine not being around them, we are all that close. But now they've all paired up and i haven't.

Quote :

"our friends"

exactly...none of the SOs of my friends were ever in our circle growing up..they are all outliers. And while some fit in really well and don't kill the dynamic there are a few who absolutely do. They attach at the hip of their boyfriends and it forces the guy to act like someone completely different. My best friend's girlfriend is this way and it drives me crazy. I've tried to tell him but he's a little defensive about it.

And like slave said, he's the one that guy that will, on an assumed guys night, bring out his gf who ends up being the one girl there and making everything very awkward.

8/19/2009 5:07:48 PM

I'm looking at 5 years bare minimum before I start thinking serious, so lately I find myself hanging out with my brothers' (age 21) and their friends than people my own age (24), since everyone I know is all "get out of college and spawn". Not a bad thing, tho, my bros are cool.

8/19/2009 5:10:41 PM

i'm going to a baseball game tonight.

3 possibly 4 couples

and then me and buddy joe who i had to really wrangle to go. Joe's cool, but he's getting ready to start grad school and he has a kid on the way from his ex girlfriend...so i've pretty much lost him too. FML

8/19/2009 5:21:27 PM

I'm single and happy, because I know what it's like to feel trapped and miserable.

I don't want to be married and miserable. Then again, I don't want kids.

8/19/2009 5:21:56 PM

hey jeepin drop me a line

8/19/2009 5:24:09 PM

reading lucy's posts makes me miserable....

that she's in Florida.

8/19/2009 5:25:19 PM

Quote :

"we see our friends"

but i was originally an outlier and so was he...i mean yeah, now 4 years later it's much different and i consider his friends mine too, and he does the same...but i still do things with just my girls, and he has his things he does with just his guys. so again...i seriously don't understand the getting married or living with a SO and essentially becoming hermits and different people that don't have a social life.

Quote :

"And while some fit in really well and don't kill the dynamic there"

i guess (hope) that's how it is for us then when we're together and out

8/19/2009 5:26:22 PM

i firmly believe that most people who "settle down" and completely change when they get married are boring people to begin with, or decided to marry someone boring and controlling

see lettersmonk/punchfred for an example of not-boring married people

8/19/2009 5:32:27 PM

Married and miserable < single and miserable

If you're single, you have much, much more control over doing whatever is necessary to be happy again.

8/19/2009 5:33:26 PM

Quote :

"Wife and I don't want kids. We wonder wtf we're going to do with all of our assests after we go... "

Build a bitchin' pyramid.

If I get married I'm going to do it just so I can get into swingers clubs.

8/19/2009 5:38:26 PM

I like this thread. It is helping me with my attempt to retrain my brain to realize that being single is definitely NOT a bad thing, and may in fact be preferable to being in a relationship.

8/19/2009 5:49:32 PM

I just want to have sex for a little while...No strings attached...

8/19/2009 5:51:37 PM

being married and miserable can cost you a shitload of $$$$$ to get out of the situation... at least if you are single and miserable, there is hope you will meet a great chick without having to go through divorce proceedings first.

8/19/2009 5:54:28 PM

i think your friend's wife is a cunt

8/19/2009 6:05:40 PM

Nah, I wouldn't go that far. She's just happy being married with their third child, and in fairness, they're one of the few truly happy families I know.

I just think she expects that I'd be happy in their shoes and disputes whether or not I'd be able to find said happiness elsewhere.

8/19/2009 6:07:35 PM

i think it goes this way....you are single and suddenly you start noticing your friends with gfs/wifeys....you want what he got....you feel miserable
now you go get a gf/wifey and see single dudes having fun....you want what he got...you feel miserable

grass greener on other....whatever

forget all these scenarios, still you gonna be miserable! its nothing to be do with being single or being married imo...if you feel miserable, eat an icecream

8/19/2009 6:13:14 PM

Quote :

"you are single and suddenly you start noticing your friends with gfs/wifeys....you want what he got"

I can honestly say that I've never seen a married man and envied his situation.

Now, I've seen a lot of good looking married women, but I've never wanted to be the man.

8/19/2009 6:15:06 PM

Quote :

"as for single and miserable, unless you're just a super anti-social, fail at life kind of person, you can at least still get laid every so often, be free to do what you want when you want without reporting to someone, and enjoy going out with friends all the time and drinking heavily."

Out of curiosity, what will occur if someone is a super anti-social, fail at life kind of person? What if we're talking about someone who is so hopeless that any sort of relationship, let alone marriage, is not even a consideration?

8/19/2009 6:17:36 PM

i think those people just lih and post on tdub

8/19/2009 6:20:40 PM

Quote :

"i think it goes this way....you are single and suddenly you start noticing your friends with gfs/wifeys....you want what he got"

i have plenty of married friends who have lovely wives

doesn't make me want to get married

8/19/2009 6:20:52 PM

Quote :

"forget all these scenarios, still you gonna be miserable! its nothing to be do with being single or being married imo"

8/19/2009 6:22:31 PM

wow surprised by some of the comments itt. Id rather be single and miserable any day of the week. At least i know all of my shit is mine

8/19/2009 6:31:26 PM

single and miserable by far

8/19/2009 6:47:04 PM

^single and miserable is worse?

8/19/2009 6:49:34 PM

Why would I ever want to get married. I guess if I ever get tired of making my own decisions, having fun, and spending my money as I see fit I'd start to consider it.

8/19/2009 6:57:18 PM

if you were miserable when you were single and stayed miserable after you got married, I don't think you should attribute your mental status to your marriage.

8/19/2009 6:59:29 PM

Single and Miserable is worse imo because it's difficult to get out of.

With Married and Miserable, you always have the option of ending it. It may not be easy, but it's there when you want it enough.

8/19/2009 7:01:59 PM

You can get unsingle if you want. It's not hard. Shit, right around your late 20s it's almost like shooting fish in a barrel. I'm pretty sure I could be in a "relationship" by the end of next week with some 28-32 year old broad I'd never met before and married within 6 months if I really wanted to.

8/19/2009 7:05:31 PM

there's a lot you can do to improve either situtation

but cohabiting and miserable is where it's at

8/19/2009 7:06:21 PM

i'll be 31 in less than a couple of weeks and i've given this some thought. (cause i figure that if i dont have kids by 35 im not gonna, i dont wanna live my golden years with my loser kids sleeping on my couch. ha ha)

but really i dont know why people are so hung up on having a s/o. i dont feel like im missing out on much. plus my last 2 relationships have been pretty neat, and totally unlike me. when you don't lower your standards for a relationship, and stay out for a while, when you do get in one its pretty interesting.


just my .02

8/19/2009 7:09:28 PM

i've been out of the game for about 7 years


i'd eventually like to play again though

8/19/2009 7:11:05 PM

i used to be a habitual long-term dater, then i had one hell of a break up and completely stopped desiring vaginas or the women that tag along with them for about a year.

now i'm more casual. not like "hey guys i have aids" casual. just dont take it as seriously. its only a girlfriend

8/19/2009 7:14:36 PM

Quote :

"WARM WET HOLE"

8/19/2009 7:16:51 PM

I'd probably roll with single and miserable in this case. Not only is my money not going to fund somebody that I can't stand to live with, but I also have the freedom to come home, whip it out, and start fapping without somebody complaining that I didn't mow the lawn.

I mean, either way you're going to feel isolated and probably not be getting regular sex, so fuck it. I'd rather take the cheaper route.

8/19/2009 7:17:09 PM

Quote :

"Out of curiosity, what will occur if someone is a super anti-social, fail at life kind of person? What if we're talking about someone who is so hopeless that any sort of relationship, let alone marriage, is not even a consideration?"

Sounds like that guy that shot up the gym in Pittsburgh a few weeks back.

8/19/2009 7:22:54 PM

i think being married and miserable would be way worse.

if you are single and miserable then you probably aren't a very fun person.

8/19/2009 7:23:46 PM

oh i forgot about the money. its so awesome to have no real obligations.

i mean think about it. for every year all the little kids go back to school shopping, all us single people book a vacation with that money

there are cons, however, like dying alone and not being loved. but, vacations!

8/19/2009 7:24:13 PM

I will take SAM any day

8/19/2009 7:26:41 PM

Being married and miserable is one of my biggest fears.

8/19/2009 7:27:29 PM

miserable is miserable, either way

you need to figure out a way to make your life not miserable

if it's that much of a problem, you may need therapy

8/19/2009 7:27:31 PM

^ yes my thoughts exactly

8/19/2009 7:28:19 PM

If I had to classify myself it would be more single and frustrated. I moved to a new city, work an odd schedule (which puts the majority of my off days during the week) and the majority of my co-workers are engaged or married w/ families.

8/19/2009 7:33:06 PM

I'm 26 and have been single for almost a year now. Was in a long term relationship in which everyone assumed we'd get married. Nearly all my college boys are now married and never go out (basically the previous posts have summarized this syndrome pretty well).

I'm definitely lonely, but I'd much rather be alone and content with myself then have to answer and be accountable to someone I don't care about. The worst part is that I'm pretty sure a lot of my married friends now see me as some type of recluse or weird guy because I didn't rush to get married right after college. I almost pitty them because I know at least half of them will end up in divorice.

8/19/2009 7:35:01 PM

Quote :

"If I had to classify myself it would be more single and frustrated. I moved to a new city, work an odd schedule (which puts the majority of my off days during the week) and the majority of my co-workers are engaged or married w/ families."

yeah i hear that. its so hard to find a "scene" when you work a lot and don't really know anyone outside of work. and even if you're outgoing, it just makes you look like a total weirdo going out alone. and i really dont like blind dates, or "you should meet my friend" stuff thats planned ahead of time

whenever im on the prowl, i just go out with a girl from the hood here, or one of a few from work. the whole annoying/creepy alone guy vibe goes away when you show that girls do exist who like to go out with you.

8/19/2009 7:39:52 PM

i'm just saying...i've been single and miserable for a very long time...


i would like to try being in a relationship and miserable for a while

8/19/2009 7:55:47 PM