I will have sex with you to get back at him, but only if we can listen to Borgore at a high volume level.

6/23/2011 11:38:57 PM

i wasn't going to post my feelings on this matter but after i read the [words] i feel i must

I am going to dissect this piece by piece for you. its not going to be pretty and you will question and doubt much of what i am about to say... but please read it with an open mind and in time you will see i was right

Quote :

"So, me and my guy broke up monday"

its thursday... not enough time has passed to be asking for 'real' advice on t-dub

Quote :

"with the intention of trying to stay friends w/ benefits."

my god, when will women learn
he want's to continue sleeping with you, this is just a way for him to see how long he can do it w/o actually being committed to him. this is mans constant way of trying to get the 'best of both worlds'

Quote :

"Last night (wed) we both went to a restaurant w/ friends."

ok, your guy thinks this is 'still okay' and doesn't want to deal with the drama of telling the group dynamic that you two are officially over

Quote :

"just springs it up as I'm about to leave... hadn't even attempted to warm me up"

I'm guessing he did this in the relationship too... of course he just sprung it on you, men will always try to have sex with a woman, and the less he has to work, the faster he 'springs' it on you

Quote :

"I just went home."

the first thing you did right

Quote :

"so I texted him around 1230... "

errr! wrong - your reasoning for texting him violates the friends w/ benefits (it doesn't say 'friends w/benefits don't let friends w/ benefits drive drunk')

Quote :

"then he texted me at 3am telling me he'd made it home"

because now that he's home you can come have sex with him

Quote :

"and he told me that yes, some of our friends arrived, and he ended up taking one home with him and having sex with her. "

oh! so he's been home this whole time!! and texted you AFTER the fact so that you could still come over and have sex with him.

Quote :

"he spent the last 7 months telling me how in love he was with me when I'm just kinda meh about him-- I would have broken up with him months ago, but he's bipolar and when he's drunk and we fight he mentions how he'd like to throw himself under a train. And then we do finally break up and he's not even that upset AND he fucks the first girl he can. "

there are so many things wrong with this one i can't even bear to point them out.

7 months??!!??! is that when you started dating or is that since you started saying 'i love you', lemme guess, the time between the two is short?

you are not 'meh' about him

the bipolar issue - pm sent

and of course he's 'not even that upset' because he's focused on screwing a new girl



the truth hurts. but i call em like i see em

[Edited on June 24, 2011 at 12:29 AM. Reason : code noob]

6/24/2011 12:20:45 AM

Quote :

"You broke up, move on. Also guys CAN have sex without having feelings for one another. Hell most guys mentally bang about 200 chicks a day, probably while you're bitch ass is nagging and he's checking out chicks over your shoulder. Quit being a tard."

6/24/2011 12:27:44 AM

You broke up with him, right? So move on. Srsly.

6/24/2011 12:30:46 AM

This whole things screams of "fake," but I have to say one thing:

Quote :

"my god, when will women learn he want's to continue sleeping with you, this is just a way for him to see how long he can do it w/o actually being committed to him. this is mans constant way of trying to get the 'best of both worlds'"

You people pull this as well.

6/24/2011 12:38:15 AM

duh, i've done it

6/24/2011 12:39:24 AM

I'm just saying...implicating my half of the species in such shenanigans was not cool.

6/24/2011 12:41:14 AM

-FWB implies you've moved on, but you haven't. It's something else until you do.
-Don't let his dumb ass drive drunk.
-Regardless of the above, he has been and is still playing you. You didn't care enough to actually help before, don't try to now. Move on.

6/24/2011 12:42:53 AM

cut ties, you're just going to make the situation more difficult

6/24/2011 3:30:49 AM

Mission Dick-In-A-Jar has Failed. FWB Operative Escaped Jar and is in Pursuit of Enemy Combatants. Initiating Executive Order 69 - Activating Psychological Warfare Agents. Targets - Mind & Heart. Main Objective - Neutralize Spirit of FWB Operative, and Return Dick to Jar. Execute.

6/24/2011 6:44:35 AM

so, you guys broke up and now you're mad that he slept with someone else even though you're not dating. Do you not know what friends with benefits mean ?

I would be mad at the fact that it was a mutual friend that he slept with but nothing else. Also, if you keep acting like a whore you will be treated like a whore. Once you told this guy that you wanted a friends with benefits deal he now views you entirely different. I think most guys have that switch in their head where you become something else if you say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. For example, if a girl cheats on me she automatically becomes a whore. If a girl says she wants friends with benefits she also becomes a whore. If i'm interested in a girl and more than two of my friends say she's slept with half of the denver broncos team, she becomes a whore.

The more you know....

6/24/2011 7:21:05 AM

I think cutting all ties with this dude is your best bet here. You surely can't have that big of a problem finding another FWB without as much bullshit drama as this is obviously sure to cause.

/2cents

6/24/2011 7:53:35 AM

I did fuck someone else tuesday which is why I know my anger towards him is absolutely ridiculous and I can only figure my female brain is to blame. Its also a small part of the reason I didn't want to sleep with him wed night. Who wants to go back to wearing boots when its spring and clearly sandal weather? I would cut ties but we have a lot of the same friends and it would make things very awkward at parties. I'm already worried I won't get invited to things because he's known most of them longer than I have and is good at being loud and entertaining.

6/24/2011 8:35:51 AM

:popcorn:

6/24/2011 8:37:10 AM

Its summer, so I'm guessing you should probably just take it all off

I'm astraladvent and I approved this message

6/24/2011 8:38:44 AM

Quote :

"so you can tell it was the endearing form of cunt"

oh well okay then

6/24/2011 8:44:22 AM

just stop having sex

because you will get pregnant

and die

6/24/2011 8:48:50 AM

A woman has but one goal in life - that is to get and hold attention. The girls of TWW prove this point with every keystroke.

6/24/2011 8:52:35 AM

well duh

6/24/2011 8:56:00 AM

Talking about sex, I bet this girl is fat. A Google search confirms.

6/24/2011 8:58:08 AM

lol @ this thread

bring more

6/24/2011 9:18:01 AM

If you want to keep your mutual circle of friends, just ignore him. You won't be able to punish him for not paying enough attention to you. Either he truly doesn't care, or he does and he's decided to be tuff about it. In the case of the latter, he will act like he's over you and avoid giving you any emotional satisfaction (like paying attention to you or looking sad). Since he acted that way in the company of friends (assuming people already knew you guys broke up), he's not about to betray his true feelings by telling people not to hang out with you.

If it's true that he is just acting tough, then merely ignoring him will revenge enough.

Quote :

"Activating Psychological Warfare Agents. Targets - Mind & Heart. Main Objective - Neutralize Spirit of FWB Operative, and Return Dick to Jar. Execute."

Lawl

6/24/2011 9:18:44 AM

Quote :

"I never understood the big deal surrounding C U Next Tuesday (but I also think it's a funny word) "

wtf is this, Sesame Street?

6/24/2011 9:27:06 AM

Quote :

"A woman has but one goal in life - that is to get and hold attention. The girls of TWW prove this point with every keystroke."

my bress are rather large today

6/24/2011 9:28:13 AM

^ worthless w/o pics

6/24/2011 9:28:55 AM

Quote :

"then merely ignoring him will revenge enough. "

revenge ?

Women logic itt.

6/24/2011 9:29:37 AM

[Edited on June 24, 2011 at 9:36 AM. Reason : .]

6/24/2011 9:36:07 AM

who is the jewish dude

6/24/2011 9:38:54 AM

lol, how old is that pic?

6/24/2011 9:39:52 AM

I think it was taken about 30 pounds ago.

6/24/2011 9:45:31 AM

can I ask a somewhat curious question?



in a lot of ways (at least in my opinion) dating someone IS being friends w/benefits.


How differently did you think your relationship with him would change between breaking up and becoming FWB?

Ok so he doesn't have to buy you flowers on your birthday or take you to dinner, but he can still have sex with you? Something like that? I can't imagine you are happier with this arrangement.


Just an observers opinion, I could see him being a little confused with exactly how the relationship is supposed to work in a FWB status after you guys had been together as a couple for several months (and he was/is in love with you or had very strong feelings). Perhaps he felt you wanted space or he was smothering you, so he backed off, didn't want to 'butter' you up with flirting or touching, but still thought it was ok to ask about sexing you. It kind of makes him look dumb in how to deal with women, but at the same time his mind may have been thinking more about the rules you set rather than the feelings/emotions you need ot have to get horny. And as a guy, it's a TON easier to focus on rules that are set in place than it is to try and guess what a woman is feeling and act on that. Everyone knows this.


idk, ive never really been in that situation. I've had sex with girls after we broke up, but it's always led to one or both of us wanting to get back together, not just stay friends. You obviously dont' feel that way after hearing he's hitting on other girls since it made you upset. And speaking on that, don't worry too much. It's him trying to push your buttons cause he still wants you. It's also insulting to you for the reasons you stated, but don't confuse being insulted with being jealous. It's ok to feel that way.


FWB starting out i think is ok, but to try and switch to that after being in a long relationship just seems very difficult to manage w/out someone getting hurt.



Sounds to me like you were just feeling a bit smothered or annoyed by him, and wanted to back off but still keep some parts of the relationship you enjoyed, which was the sex. That's a bit selfish of you (having your cake and eating it too), but i'm not judging. If he's completely cool with it, then go for it. I have a feeling though he didn't quite understand the rules and you weren't completely clear or honest with him on exactly how you wanted this FWB thing to operate.



just my thoughts.

6/24/2011 9:49:07 AM

Executive Order 69 has Failed. System Instability Imminent. Requesting Häagen-Dazs Backup. Execute.

6/24/2011 9:58:47 AM

Quote :

"lol, how old is that pic?"

I think it was taken in 2004

Quote :

"You obviously dont' feel that way after hearing he's hitting on other girls since it made you upset. And speaking on that, don't worry too much. It's him trying to push your buttons cause he still wants you. It's also insulting to you for the reasons you stated, but don't confuse being insulted with being jealous. It's ok to feel that way."

I guess you're right... I am insulted, not jealous. I guess that was confusing me. And the fwb's thing... well, I like him better as a friend than for benefits right now. I've got lots of resources for benefits. I also know that it takes a while to go from dating to fwb's because it will take a while for the emotions to die down. I think we decided on fwb's because then we could still be friends...not just "broken up" which to both of us meant we dont talk to eachother or even be friends for a while.

And that "jewish" dude was Armabond1

[Edited on June 24, 2011 at 10:08 AM. Reason : 04]

6/24/2011 10:04:32 AM

Mootduff with the killer post.

6/24/2011 10:06:24 AM

I never understood that cake phrase. If you had your own cake, why wouldn't you have a piece? People don't buy cakes to stare at them

[Edited on June 24, 2011 at 10:08 AM. Reason : .]

6/24/2011 10:07:54 AM

I see two obvious lapses of judgment going on here.

1. You thought you could be friends with benefits with a ex-boyfriend...

2. You turned to TWW for relationship advice.

/thread

6/24/2011 10:11:13 AM

^^ I've always thought the same thing...

6/24/2011 10:20:27 AM

Quote :

"You thought you could be friends with benefits with a ex-boyfriend..."

haha doesn't always blow up in your face

6/24/2011 10:22:44 AM

well you can't HAVE your cake and EAT it too.... cause then you ate it and it's gone....



at least that's how I interpret it

6/24/2011 10:22:52 AM

Quote :

"in a lot of ways (at least in my opinion) dating someone IS being friends w/benefits."

Eh...I dunno. I was FWB with an ex for quite a while, and the difference was night and day. I got sex and occasional fun conversations. I did not get yelled at, cried to, frantically called to ask for directions. In general, didn't have to deal with any of any of her shit -- with the exception that, eventually, she said that she still had feelings for me, so I broke it off.

So you may be right that it always leads to one or both parties wanting to get back together, but I have found it to be very different from dating.

6/24/2011 10:36:02 AM

enemies with benefits would be more appropriate, because then you could justify all your jealousy and shit talking while getting in the occasional hate-fuck.

6/24/2011 10:36:26 AM

But you can eat the cake and have it in your belly (at least for a few hours)

6/24/2011 10:42:22 AM

wow @ this thread.

6/24/2011 10:46:08 AM

All the girls need to know something.

Boys=/=Girls.

Boys do not think like girls, behave like girls, or talk like girls.

Girls, stop trying to make your man act like a woman. It only emasculates them.

So when you said

Quote :

"im what kept him out so late (figuring some of our friends must have rolled into the restaurant later) and he told me that yes, some of our friends arrived, and he ended up taking one home with him and having sex with her. "

First off, it's nunya. By asking, you are showing you still care after agreeing to only hook up.

He does not see sex as a big thing because you agreed to let him put his penis in you with no strings attached...those strings include him putting his penis in something else. Just be glad it wasn't in YOU because YOU are GETTING PLAYED. Do not agree to be sex buds with someone you still have feelings for and who is frequently having sex with others. You probably want to hear that he is trying to make you jealous. He wasn't. He wanted to have sex, you denied him, he had sex, you asked, he told. Key word - Opportunist.

It doesn't matter what was said 7 months ago. You said lets be sex buddies but then you dissed him. You said friends with benefits when you really meant "I'll let you use me until you decide I might maybe worth your time someday and you realize how awesome I am."

BEST advice - Go on with your life. See him when you see him. No texting, phone calls, or hooking up if you still have feelings for the dude. Also, don't sleep around with other randoms to fill your lacking emotional self. You need to heal from the break up and think about you.

6/24/2011 10:48:59 AM

Quote :

"I'd sleep with Emce"

iawtp

6/24/2011 10:50:01 AM

oops

6/24/2011 10:50:35 AM

Oh, and this:

Quote :

""I just went home." the first thing you did right"

YES.

Ps - Having mutual friends is not an excuse to rent your vagina out to some dude in hopes that he will come back to you. "Well, I don't want it to be awkward"....You know what's awkward? When all your friends are standing around watching him fuck other girls and then seeing you pining after him.

[Edited on June 24, 2011 at 10:56 AM. Reason : .]

6/24/2011 10:53:45 AM

Quote :

"Just be glad it wasn't in YOU because YOU are GETTING PLAYED."

The definition of "being played" means that someone is tricking you into doing something that you would not otherwise do in order to extract something from you that you would not otherwise give.

All that happened here is a dumb broad is doing what dumb broads do.

6/24/2011 10:59:58 AM

Quote :

"I never understood that cake phrase. If you had your own cake, why wouldn't you have a piece? People don't buy cakes to stare at them"

Quote :

"Origin: 1546 as "wolde you bothe eate your cake, and have your cake?" (John Heywood's 'A dialogue Conteinyng the Nomber in Effect of All the Prouerbes in the Englishe Tongue')"

Basically, it's used for expressing the impossibility of having something both ways, if those two ways totally conflict. Don't get caught up on the middle English.

In context, you cannot possess someone's genitalia after breaking up with them. That's insane, unrealistic, and bound to end well. Hence, you cannot eat your cake, and "have" it too, because it's gone and/or you aren't together anymore.

The More You Know..

[Edited on June 24, 2011 at 11:07 AM. Reason : -]

6/24/2011 11:01:32 AM

Quote :

"You know what's awkward? When all your friends are standing around watching him fuck other girls and then seeing you pining after him."

dang

6/24/2011 11:03:42 AM