ugh i'm stressed about the door knocker i should have looked out the door when they were knocking. i just checked and no packages were left or like notes re: packages.

i'm just worried i like did something wrong and a neighbor is mad but i wonder what it could be.

and like they knocked two times - i should have looked because now i'm scared someone is like suing me and i was about to get served hahaha

irrational fears. but honestly. i wish i had looked through the peephole.

5/7/2010 4:58:51 PM

you need some god damn xanax woman

5/7/2010 5:03:52 PM

WELL WHO COULD IT HAVE BEEN

i don't know my neighbors well enough for them to randomly knock unless i did something wrong. but the only time i've ever done something wrong was when my grandmother died and i left really fast and forgot to take out my trash and they called me to say they could smell it (cause i was gone for like 5 days and i think i left egg in it - whoops).

but i mean that obviously isn't the case now. and there were no packages left. AND no notes on my door.

so now i'm stressed.

and yea xanex would be nice

5/7/2010 5:05:19 PM

maybe it was someone coming to complain about the dirty laundry smell

5/7/2010 5:05:56 PM

Or a serial rapist.

5/7/2010 5:06:20 PM

Or they knocked on the wrong door

5/7/2010 5:06:56 PM

^^^ nah the laundry doesn't smell.

^^ thanks, i don't think they knock though.

^ hopefully. i just don't like conversations with people i don't know. like i don't want it to be a neighbor trying to make friends. if i wanted to chit chat i would have done so during the past 3 years that i've lived here.

sometimes the package delivery people are lazy and leave the packages downstairs but then whyw ould they bother coming UPSTAIRS to knock. i'm gonna sneak out and check. hopefully the rapist isn't waiting in a corner for me.

[Edited on May 7, 2010 at 5:09 PM. Reason : .]

5/7/2010 5:07:26 PM

I listened to 2 hours of BEP

5/7/2010 5:12:29 PM

IT IS LARGE.

5/7/2010 5:15:09 PM

well i think it was probably a census person or something

sad

i was secretly hoping someone sent me flowers or a graduation present.

5/7/2010 5:17:27 PM

We're off that subject now son.

5/7/2010 5:17:49 PM

sometimes when i turn on the tv at night i find myself watching the tv guide channel for way longer than i mean to - and its always 1 of 4 things:

bare minerals infomercial
punked
paris hilton my british BFF
bridges of madison county

5/9/2010 12:36:52 AM

my students always do considerably worse than other students who take the same course with a different instructor

I try, but apparently I'm just a bad teacher...and ordinarily I don't give too much of a shit

but now, they've started assigning final grades based on a curve over all sections, which means that my class has a disproportionately large number of D's and F's

there are at least two students who are not going to graduate on time, largely because they took the class with me

I feel pretty bad about this

5/9/2010 2:31:12 AM

Maybe if you threw out those ridiculous ideas of yours you'd actually pass some god damned students you psychotic miracle loving fuckhead.

It frightens me that you actually have a job, particularly a job in which you attempt to force others to conform to your insane miracle boy belief system.

5/9/2010 4:26:40 AM

I feel absolutely inept today at my job... this feeling is making it really really hard to believe that I'm going to find another job.

5/10/2010 2:25:26 PM

my life is stuck in neutral at the moment. i don't know whether i should hit reverse or just leave it how it is

5/10/2010 2:29:22 PM

I get really frustrated when I send a gift out to my friend (for her or her husband or her son) and I don't even get acknowledgment that they relieved it. the tracking system tells me that it's delivered... but I don't get so much as an email or text that says that they got it and that they appreciate it.

we've been friends since first grade and i adore her... but damn it annoys me :-/

5/11/2010 10:28:27 AM

i just burped in my office - and it was alot louder than i anticipated

5/11/2010 1:49:10 PM

lunak is a classy lady

5/11/2010 3:20:40 PM

i've been missing home a lot lately.

5/11/2010 5:04:11 PM

^ what you said.

5/12/2010 12:33:36 AM

i want a gf so fucking bad

5/12/2010 12:35:27 AM

i love jesus.

5/12/2010 12:38:29 AM

This girl. She is everything to me. She is in med school and going to be an orthopedic surgeon. I took her on a cruise over her break, paid for everything and was a perfect gentleman. And all I got was a drunk kiss on the lips and told, "What an amazing friend I am". I am so in love with her it hurts.

5/12/2010 12:40:15 AM

Tell her. If it doesn't work out you're better off.

5/12/2010 12:41:23 AM

went to a titty bar for the first time last night

5/12/2010 10:25:21 AM

How was it? Where did you go? Were you intoxicated?

I love those places.

5/12/2010 10:25:54 AM

it was fun. pretty PG place so a good starter. my waitress was wearing a corset

and i was VERY drunk by the end of it

5/12/2010 10:26:37 AM

who goes to the titty bar on a tuesday?

thats the like, jv b team you got there

right around the same as the thursday titty bar mid-day buffet lineup

5/12/2010 10:27:32 AM

lol

it was a random spontaneous happening.... and they were actually some really cute girls there

5/12/2010 10:28:43 AM

I kind of prefer the B team

they're kind of funnier to watch

especially if you go to one of the nastier hole-in-the-walls

tho, Luna, Vegas, Spearmint Rhino, u + me

5/12/2010 10:29:32 AM

oh god, sr

5/12/2010 10:30:09 AM

I'm finding myself becoming attached to the idea of going to Alabama more and more but I don't want to get my hopes up..............

5/12/2010 10:30:56 AM

Quote :

"tho, Luna, Vegas, Spearmint Rhino, u + me"

lol

5/12/2010 10:31:57 AM

Dude, the spearmint rhino reviews are hilarious:

Quote :

"Christian C. San Francisco, CA 4 star rating 11/20/2008 I've been to many strip clubs, and I'm not some creepy guy. I can appreciate the female form. There are many nice female forms here. You get diversity. Do you like white chicks, black chicks, Hispanic chicks, or Asian chicks? It doesn't matter; they're all here. They even have a beautiful Iraqi working. While there are many beautiful women, there are some so-so ones; and one disgusting one. She is old and smells like smoke. You'll know her when you see her - lol. Keep her away, unless you like the smell of ash trays. Some helpful tips: * Bring cash. As the commenter below me noted, the ATM is a total scam. It's a 10% surcharge. Plus you have to pay your own bank ATM fee. Scam. * Get a free pass. You can usually find a free pass at the back page of the LA Weekly (which is an awesome paper you should be reading, anyway). Instead of paying $20 cover charge, you pay $5 for one drink (a soda or Red Bull). Like all fully nude clubs in L.A., the Rhino is a "juice bar." * Take advantage of specials. If you go on off nights, you can get good specials on lap dances. On Wednesday or Thursday, you can usually get a 2-for-1. Lap dances are $20 for topless or $40 for fully nude. Just take your time, and you'll get a special. * Don't get more than you want. When you go into the back room, strippers will automatically just take off their bottoms. That way you sort of get forced into paying for fully nude. If you don't want fully nude (I don't want their cha-chas touching me), be sure to specific you want topless. Otherwise, they'll drop their bottoms and you'll be stuck paying twice what you'd otherwise pay. * Beware buying drinks. A stripper will approach you, sit down, and chat with you. A minute later, a waitress will ask you if you want to buy the woman a drink. It's $10. If you don't buy them a drink, they'll usually say, "Good bye." I'd rather spend my money at the tip stage, rewarding women for hard work, than pay money just to have someone talk to me. If you want to keep them around, just know what it will cost you. * Take the freeways. Do not take back roads or short cuts to get through here, unless you want to be assailed by crack heads and homeless people. Find a way to get here via the highways."

http://www.yelp.com/biz/spearmint-rhino-los-angeles

Whoops, that's the LA location. But very thorough review! Hilarious!

Okay, here's Vegas:

Quote :

"Rachel G. San Francisco, CA 5 star rating 12/12/2008 Let me give you this little tip: Do not attend a Vegas Strip Club with your brothers and/or male family members. Under any circumstances. No ifs, ands or butts. Just don't. Seriously. It's awkward. And upsetting. And awkward. Little did I know that while my cousin Lauren and I watched our respective brothers get lapfucked by a pretty pair named Pilot and Perfect, that our benefactor had already paid for us to get our own laps snizzed on by Mercedes, a tight little tan blonde. She sauntered over, asked the boys of the group that weren't busy getting jacked in a backroom somewhere to buy her a redbull (redbull is stripper cryptonite) and then sorta draped over us... And that's when we both got felt up. Mercedes: You guys both have really big boobs! Rachel and Lauren: ... *Stripper grabs our boobs* Mercedes: Are they real? Rachel and Lauren: *nod simultaneously* : | Mercedes: Mine are fake. Rachel and Lauren: *shock and awe* You don't say? *Rachel and Lauren get the hell out of Spearmint Rhino* Getting felt up without dinner or even a drink purchased for me beforehand felt wrong, but watching my brother enjoy a lap dance a little too much was enough to hurtle my nice seafood dinner out of the depths of innerspace onto the floor. I'll give it up for the strippers super soft skin, though. It's nice. And they smell good too. Lauren and I are thinking about creating a perfume called "Stripper". It will be a blend of cucumber melon and coconut nectar with glitter. Lots of glitter. Oh, and they have pretty nice fake boobs. If you like that sort of thing."

http://www.yelp.com/biz/spearmint-rhino-adult-cabaret-las-vegas?rpp=40&sort_by=relevance_desc&start=40

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 10:45 AM. Reason : .]

5/12/2010 10:38:07 AM

My gf and her step-sister's bachelorette party tried to go to Spearmint Rhino when in Vegas, but apparently unaccompanied women aren't allowed because they could be call girls.

5/12/2010 10:47:28 AM

^ well shit... then we're SOL i guess... guess we'll just have to find a guy to be our escort

5/12/2010 10:48:25 AM

That won't be difficult. Aaron wants to go back to Vegas w/me. We had a blast last time and almost made it to the Spearmint Rhino, but we got too silly drunk and then my other partner in crime insulted some big dudes on the street and got a serious beatdown and had to go to the hospital. So the club got cancelled.

But next time, it's on like Donkey Kong. We'll take smarter boys. Or acquire some.

Quote :

"SIMPLE GUIDELINES FOR A 5-STAR VISIT TO THE RHINO: RULE #1: You will NOT pay for the cab ride to the club. And you won't call the club limo either, otherwise you'll be waiting for an hour. See my review on Checker Cab for how to wrangle a free cab to the club. http://www.yelp.com/bi... RULE #2: You will dress intelligently. - No white. You'll look like a biological stain under the blacklighting. - No company logo-ed shirts. I don't think your company will appreciate the advertising. - No cloth coats. It'll be infused w/ smoke & useless for business meetings tomorrow. - No cameras. "What happens in club, stays in the club." - Bring your ID. Don't be the jackass w/out ID that I have to babysit because you got stuck at the door. RULE #3: You will go into the club knowing where your money goes. Ladies will try to convince you to drop another $100 because they're 'struggling to pay the house fees'. Despite the fact that this shouldn't matter to you, here's what I understand: -- Dancers make anywhere from $300-$2500 a night. -- If they're new they need to buy a $250 dancer's license from the State of Nevada. -- At the end of the night, each girl has to 'tipout' or pay cash to the club for their opportunity to dance on the premises (aka house fees) equaling ~$150 to the mgmt, ~$50 tribute to the DJ (to 'misplace' their name on the 'list' i.e keep them off the stage), and usually some $$$ to the bouncers. There's an extra $10-$20 tip that goes to the VIP Doorman for each 'customer visit' to VIP. -- VIP sideroom is $100 min - 3 songs. VIP Champagne room is $200 - 5 songs. Celebrity Room is $400 + Bottle Service. This brings us to one of our most important rules... RULE #4: You will NOT go into the "VIP rooms". You're already a sucker for coming here - why make it any worse? The VIP room is a contract that you're going to pay for a minimum number of dances - there is no upside to this. Contrary to the booze talking, you aren't going to get anywhere in there. Anything you've heard are lies. You'd be better off paying for 3 songs on the floor & buying a dancer 4 shots of Patron @ $10 each. RULE #5: You will NOT use the club ATM. No credit cards either. Bring your own cash. As with all clubs, the ATM has a club vig of 10% on whatever it is you're withdrawing, not to mention being the "podium of shame" that you'll find yourself at while "Sapphire" stands there as you withdraw your frickin' 401k. Having to go to the ATM is the Lord's way of saying, "You've gone way overboard, son." RULE #6: You will NOT spend more than $100. Any more & it probably could have really been better spent. And for gotsakes, don't try to expense this. RULE #7: You do NOT buy the dancers drinks. (Sorry girls.) The ladies have to sell 1 drink per hour "for themselves" at $12-$15/each. This is how the club makes money. They aren't usually interested in getting drunk; selling drinks is part of their job. You need to grab your balls, look the waitress straight in the eye, and say, "NO, THANK YOU." You'll undoubtedly convince yourself however that the dancers "are friendly & really do want to get drunk. This leads into... RULE #8: You will NOT be fooled by virgin drink codenames. If you're still dumb enough to buy a drink for a dancer 'cause you think "she's cool & wants to party", listen for the following terms: "Rum & Coke Lite" = Coke only. "Slipknot & Cranberry" = Cranberry Juice. "Screwdriver Fresh" = Orange juice. All cost $14. Get the picture? RULE #9: You will ALWAYS ask 'how much' before the dance. I'm responsible for you so don't get taken. Ask immediately & show you've got a pair. Some girls charge $30. Others $20 or $40. If they tell you anything other than $20, cock your eyebrow & reply, "Okay then. One dance only." You may find that this suddenly changes the price to $20. This goes to motivation since they just want 1 guy for an extended period - 1 dance here & there isn't how they're going to make the house fee. RULE #10: You will NEVER stiff a dancer. Don't make me have to pay for you. If there's a possibility you might do this, read "Stripped" by Brent Kenton Jordan - the biography of a Vegas club bouncer. Here's the short version for you degenerates: Club wins - you lose. Or club loses - you really lose. RULE #11: You will tip security $20 for 2 open seats. Save yourself & your pal the time of finding a chair. Bouncers make money too off of finding "VIPs" seating in the club. This $20 grease suddenly makes you a VIP & is worth dropping if it keeps you from having to wander the club aimlessly looking for some group to get out of their chairs. CONCLUSION If you follow these simple rules? 5-stars."

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 10:51 AM. Reason : .]

5/12/2010 10:50:41 AM

Quote :

""What an amazing friend I am"."

burn

5/12/2010 10:52:00 AM

thanks, "snizzed on" is now part of my vernacular

5/12/2010 11:01:17 AM

i got a tour of the west wing of the white house tonight

5/12/2010 10:33:13 PM

^that's fucking awesome

---------------------

i took the last exam of my college career tonight and i have this overwhelming desire to take vacation from work for the next two days and stay drunk until i cross the stage at 2pm on Saturday.


does this make me an alcoholic, or just someone who is extremely excited to finally get a college degree after 10 years?

5/12/2010 10:39:44 PM

i think both

5/12/2010 10:40:44 PM

both is good

5/12/2010 10:41:04 PM

yea the tour was kinda cool.... i mean, not as cool as i thought it would look (thought it would be a lot bigger IRL) but no, kinda small.

got to be in the oval office though

(grats on the last night of classes )

5/12/2010 10:43:34 PM

definitely take the next two days off and get drunk.

5/12/2010 10:44:02 PM

^i am considering an email to the boss as i type


^^i refuse to ever be in the oval office unless i'm felating something...truth

5/12/2010 10:44:25 PM

well deserved break, thumper

5/12/2010 10:53:46 PM

thxb00



(is my last post in this thread OK to post on Facebook even if my mother-in-law is one of my friends?)

5/12/2010 10:54:56 PM

TMI for mother-in-law

5/12/2010 10:58:25 PM