trust me take one. i feel a lot better now.

7/13/2008 7:39:25 PM

i wish she would hurry up, i'm ready to eat

7/13/2008 7:40:24 PM

yeah i love cleaning myself when i deserve it

[Edited on July 13, 2008 at 7:40 PM. Reason : just thought i'd add]

7/13/2008 7:40:26 PM

Lucky1 scaring my dogs. Watching Just Friends. And how much it sucks having to work full shifts on weekends.

7/13/2008 7:41:39 PM

there might be something wrong when it's just easier to not eat than to decide what to eat

I need more vicodin. my knee really hurts.

and i'm grumpy.

7/13/2008 7:43:27 PM

I wish I had just kept my door shut and ignored my roommate. Now she won't stop bitching about her boyfriend looking at porn or how wii fit shows that she weighs 110lbs instead of 100lbs.

omfg shut up

7/13/2008 7:51:23 PM

would you stand up and walk out on me?

7/13/2008 7:51:46 PM

whether there's anything i should be doing right now

7/13/2008 7:55:18 PM

thinking about how i do not like email that much and that i also hate updating software when i feel it works fine now

7/13/2008 8:00:30 PM

my computer turns into a really expensive paperweight when the Internet doesn't work.

And I'm really really hoping work let's me off those two weeks so I can to Alabama. Fingers crossed!

7/13/2008 8:02:51 PM

my parents watch the absolute worst shit on tv. like THE absolute worst.

oh my god and the worst movies.

[Edited on July 13, 2008 at 8:04 PM. Reason : .]

7/13/2008 8:03:48 PM

what is up to your standards?

7/13/2008 8:04:36 PM

Atlas. Thank God he wasn't in the car. :worried:

7/13/2008 8:20:50 PM

he called and i'll call him again tonight.

7/13/2008 8:43:19 PM

I'll be sure to answer

7/13/2008 8:47:35 PM

7/15/2008 7:38:01 PM

This homemade salsa is incredible.

7/13/2008 8:55:14 PM

I am going to fight Michael Ian Black

If you have been paying any attention at all to popular culture for the past decade, I am sure you know who Michael Ian Black is. If the name doesn't ring a bell, you almost certainly recognize his face, he is the only commentator on all those VH1 flashback shows who is actually funny, instead of just annoying.

Anyway, Michael has a new book out, and as a way to publicize it, he has challenged me to a fistfight. Here is what he said:

So Tucker Max, you drunk, misogynistic motherfucker - I am officially calling you OUT! I am going to fist fuck every hole in your boozy little body until you crawl away like the sniveling little bitch that you are. YOU'RE DEAD.

You can read the rest on his blog.

Michael, I have no problem helping you get the word out about your book (which I haven't read but hear is pretty funny). But there is price to pay for trying to publicize it on the back of my popularity:

I accept.

I'm completely serious. I'd LOVE to fight you.

I'll even promise to show up drunk as shit. I'll drink an unreasonable amount of alcohol before we fight--20 beers, 30 beers, whatever it takes to me plastered. And if you don't think I'm drunk enough, I'll keep drinking. As long as I am conscious and able to stand on my feet, I'll fight you.

And here's the kicker: If you beat me, I'll give you the next royalty check from my book. It should be about 150k, give or take agent fees and other things. I am completely serious.

We don't even have to make this a bet. You win, you get the money. I win, I get nothing (except the satisfaction of standing over your broken, bleeding body and drunkenly yelling at you, "GET UP YOU FUCKING PUSSY! GET UP AND FIGHT!," or something to that effect, since I'll be drunk I can't quite predict what my words will be, or that they will even be enunciated or understandable).

Email me and let's set the time and place: tuckermax@gmail.com

And just to be clear: This isn't personal. I think you are a funny comedian, and I really respect your work. I'd much rather kick the shit out of someone who deserves it, like Benji Madden or Brody Jenner. To that effect, I promise when I kick your ass, I'll do my best not to leave any permanent damage.

7/13/2008 9:27:07 PM

words lol

7/13/2008 9:27:40 PM

its from tucker max's blog

7/13/2008 9:28:50 PM

people still pay attention to tucker max?

7/13/2008 9:29:59 PM

wolfNstein

7/13/2008 9:30:06 PM

My car got fucking totaled.

7/13/2008 9:33:01 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_bMFVDu9yo

7/13/2008 9:43:54 PM

superhero movie or semi pro??

7/13/2008 9:45:56 PM

well i think i'll go with superhero movie
hopefully i'll laugh

7/13/2008 10:20:47 PM

bedtime

7/13/2008 10:22:25 PM

^

ps- mondays blow

7/13/2008 10:23:00 PM

yea they're fucking awful. and this week i don't have any traveling to do i don't think so its gonna be a long f'in week

[Edited on July 13, 2008 at 10:27 PM. Reason : spell]

7/13/2008 10:27:20 PM

good night

7/13/2008 10:34:47 PM

Making fun of me is not going to help!

7/13/2008 10:57:42 PM

i cant wait to train tomorrow

i feel totally renewed and ready to go hard for 4 months

7/13/2008 11:00:46 PM

i just watched legally blonde on comedy central

god knows how many times i've seen this movie. yet i still watched the entire thing.

7/13/2008 11:02:30 PM

i can't believe Anheuser-Busch sold out...

7/13/2008 11:12:59 PM

ill help your mom

7/13/2008 11:16:29 PM

your crab cakes and spring rolls song SUCKS

7/13/2008 11:19:17 PM

you bring the crab cakes and ill bring the spring rolls

7/13/2008 11:20:11 PM

i want to do this to somebody

7/13/2008 11:20:25 PM

got my plane ticket, my show tickets and made a bunch of awesome food today
I <3 life right now

7/13/2008 11:22:36 PM

Making fun of me is not going to help!

7/13/2008 11:27:25 PM

texans really dont fuck around with the air conditioning

7/14/2008 12:33:34 AM

I fucking LOVE sandwiches.

7/14/2008 12:34:02 AM

ok its late

bedtime

7/14/2008 12:46:03 AM

my back hurts. i need a massage.

7/14/2008 12:49:08 AM

dead tired

7/14/2008 1:00:47 AM

^likewise

but i don't want to go to bed, i like listening to GnR too much

7/14/2008 1:27:44 AM

grn ? and who are you.

7/14/2008 1:29:23 AM

Guns N' Roses

i made a playlist on http://www.projectplaylist.com that has songs that I don't have, plus it feels good to chill out and tdub for a bit

7/14/2008 1:31:04 AM

Work tomorrow + no car.

7/14/2008 2:15:39 AM

best start walkin, bitch

7/14/2008 3:11:19 AM