yeah

noone ever makes fun of tech people

what goes around comes around, drop a pair and deal.

2/24/2006 1:30:04 PM

im criticizing him for being an asshole

2/24/2006 1:31:58 PM

Quote :

"i think its funny continue."

2/24/2006 1:32:54 PM

I work at an engineering firm, so most of the time my job is smooth sailing

however one time i had a lady accuse me of cutting off her wireless internet. I mean laying into me on how she couldnt get any work done.

she noted that it always worked at home and at work, but we restricted her access if she went anywhere else.

We did our part for setting it up at work, but after asking if she had road runner /dsl (she had no ISP... "what's a router???"), i determined that somehow she'd managed to steal her neighbors signal. She was just going to any availiable network and trying to connect.


Apparently she thought we owned a satellite or something and were beaming down the internet to her. When I informed her of the signal length of wireless and that she'd been stealing her neighbors internet, she was much more polite.

2/24/2006 1:38:36 PM

hehe true I guess I was an ass. But to fill you in more games were not allowed and the things I did took minutes out of my time. Moving a camera to include a workstation? That took me like 30 seconds.

Changing how the link worked? MAYBE 5 minutes... if that.

And ffs if you can't have fun doing your job I don't know what to say. Hell the guy got fired for not showing up for work twice in one week. It's not like he was a great employee or anything.

2/24/2006 2:32:33 PM

I was a computer technician for University Towers for about 4 and half years.

I had one guy who said that his keyboard was not working correctly. My first check was to see if it was plugged in correctly, bent pins, . . . I asked him when it started having problems and he said that he spilled almost half a beer in the keyboard and preceeded to wash it out in the sink.

Never occured to him that there are circuits underneath the keys.

I also loved seeing so many people use the laptop security cables by locking the laptop to . . . the laptop. Or they would wrap the cable around the drawer of their desk, the chair leg, plastic tie wraps. Any of these something that you could snap with your fingers!

Oh yea one more story from doing IT work in Durham.

We used VNC, remote shutdowns, and other security programs to keep people from burning music in the library. I had one student who kept jumping from one computer to another trying to burn 10 cd's. I got each one of the computers on a separate window and would eject the CD right near the end of the burning cycle. I bet he had a good set of coasters that evening.

2/24/2006 2:33:13 PM

^i thought it was hilarious

2/24/2006 2:33:46 PM

I have, on more than one occasion, told someone to "move the mouse to so-and-so," after which they actually pick the mouse up off of the desk and move it over the screen like a magic wand.

2/24/2006 3:02:40 PM

^^^ hahaha

2/24/2006 3:04:24 PM

Well, I don't do any tech work, but I do work at Barnes & Noble and thought this was kind of funny:

This middle aged woman comes in one day, really stuffy. Dressed in a business suit and carrying a briefcase, I'm pretty sure she had a cellphone. Anyways, so she comes up to me and goes "Excuse me, where are your audio books?" So I show her the section, and how it's divided and how you can get tapes or CD's.

"What is a CD?"

Me: "Uh...a compact disc? They came out probably almost 20 years ago....It's a disc that has music stored on it digitally."

Her: "So why would I buy one of those? Why don't you have as many books on tape?"

Me: "Well, ma'am, no one really buys tapes anymore, and CDs have better sound quality, yadda yadda etc."

The woman looks at me intently and examines the box, not that she can even see the cds inside. "Well, do you sell uhm, devices to play them on?"

Me: "CD Players? Well, no, but Best Buy on the other side of the shopping center does."

Her: "Yessssss, I see. How much are they?"

Me: "Well, some cheaper ones can probably be bought for around $20, depending on what you want exactly. Most newer cars have them installed"

Then she says thank you for your help, and walks away. Oddest customer ever.

On the other hand, I did have a woman try to return some opened/ listened to DVDs and CDs she got for Christmas because her daughter-in-law got them for her and "They just weren't funny/good".

2/24/2006 4:03:12 PM

ahahahahahaha, i can't stop fucking laughing at this shit.

I just got an email from a guy, Liqin, that I was working with on the phone.

His last name is Dong.

Liqin Dong.


ahahahahahahahahahahhhahahahahahahahaahhahaahahahahahahahahahaaha

2/28/2006 8:45:58 AM

My mother just got a job doing tech support "triage" type work...routing calls to the right agent. it's less about tech support and more about call center work, and they said they'd train her...but even so...
the woman once asked me how to copy the text from a picture into word.

They know what they're getting into...that's the sad part.



[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 11:20 AM. Reason : kfjd]

2/28/2006 11:19:47 AM

Quote :

"the woman once asked me how to copy the text from a picture into word."

what's wrong with that? Why didn't you tell her how to do it? oh wait, i get it, you're the one who is technically inept

LOL


[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 11:30 AM. Reason : s]

2/28/2006 11:29:33 AM

the only way you could do it is if it were a layered pic and you used photoshop or something. chances are, that wasn't the case.

so, how would you go about doing that then?

2/28/2006 11:33:11 AM

how do you copy text from a picture into word?

2/28/2006 11:34:32 AM

Nah, it was a scrapbook page one of her friends had scanned and posted. Mom wanted a poem from the page, and it wasn't legible on the screen, and she couldn't be bothered to email said friend for the poem

2/28/2006 11:47:06 AM

its like you kiddies never heard of OCR

now that you've explained it was a handwritten picture, that might introduce some complications.

nevertheless, this has been a quite ironic spate of posts from you guys (ncWOLFsu, JonHGuth)

"ROFL SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD GRAB TEXT FROM A PICTUERS LOL"

who's inept now

[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 11:57 AM. Reason : s]

2/28/2006 11:56:11 AM

maybe graphically inept, and you still never explained how it was done. you just spouted off some negative remark and acted like we're fucking idiots for even asking. i'm sure you were just born with the knowledge of how to do this, weren't you?

the technology is still developing and you need specialized software to do it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optical_character_recognition

so i guess if you don't know about OCR, you don't know shit about computers

[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 12:05 PM. Reason : ]

2/28/2006 12:00:42 PM

This thread is intended to bring about humour, not flaming. Keep comments to PM plz.

2/28/2006 12:23:20 PM

excor: like you're going to explain that shit to someone who'd call tech support to ask for help?

2/28/2006 12:31:42 PM

actually i have heard of ocr, i heard that it doesnt actually work well
and isnt something that only the technically inept dont know how to do

2/28/2006 12:38:56 PM

my cousin had her laptop stolen, even though she had a laptop lock hooked up. she had it looped around the bottom leg of a chair, so all the thief had to do was lift the chair up

we still give her a hard time about that one

2/28/2006 12:41:46 PM

I used to work in IT at Wachovia in the summers and one of my menial tasks was to call up bank branches and tell them when their ATM was going to be down while we were updating their legacy routers, the conversation usually went like this....

Me: Hello, I'm with Network Implementation for Wachovia, I am calling to inform you that we have technicians scheduled to update a router at your location on [whatever date] your ATM may not be working during this period.

Bank Manager: What's a router?

Me: It is a piece of equipment that ROUTES network information, in this case, back and forth from the ATM to the Wachovia network.

Bank Manager: Uhhh....right. Where is this rooter located?

Me: There's usually an equipment closet that contains racks of networking equipment like ROUTERS and switches.

Bank Manager: I've never seen any equipment closet.

Me: Oh it's there.

Bank Manager: What are you going to do to it?

Me: I've already told you we're updating it.

Bank Manager: What does that involve?

Me thinking: If you didn't even know what the hell a router was, how the hell are you gonna understand the process of updating the damn thing?

At which point, I would just say something along the lines of "Look techs will be out there, that's all you need to know, don't ask them any questions dumbass"

[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 12:53 PM. Reason : asdf]

[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 12:54 PM. Reason : .]

2/28/2006 12:52:40 PM

So my dad just got a new laptop. I had him convinced that the speaker was actually a microphone. I told him that since he got one of the newer laptops, he could actually tell the computer what to do using the mic. So he started telling the computer some commands like, open this web page, or delete file.

2/28/2006 12:57:18 PM

OCR is a robust technology

the irony continues

Quote :

"Bank Manager: What does that involve? Me thinking: If you didn't even know what the hell a router was, how the hell are you gonna understand the process of updating the damn thing?"

He probably wonders if he's going to have people in hard-hats with sawdust all over the floor running wires through the ceiling, etc. If he doesn't know what a router is, its a legitimate question to ask.



[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 1:15 PM. Reason : s]

2/28/2006 1:12:54 PM

I worked at Gateway Country before it went out of business a few years ago, as well as Best Buy selling computers before that.

If you've ever worked in retail selling computers, either at Best Buy or elsewhere, you know the type of people that come in.

I once had a guy come in and order 2 new hard drives for his computer. A couple of days later he came in with two boxes (they were the HDs that had been delivered to his house), and told us he wanted to return them.

Aparently a friend had told him that in order for his computer to run faster, he needed more memory, and he thought memory = HD. He was really nice about everything, and we got him squared away.

Another time while at Gateway, I had a guy get furious with me because all we were only selling our machines with Windows XP on them. He seemed to think the only programs he wanted on his machine were Internet Explorer and Outlook Express. After trying to explain to him that a computer needed an operating system, he thought I was trying to sell him a bunch of stuff he didn't need. I had to get a manager and one of our tech support guys out before he'd believe us.

Once while at Best Buy I sold a lady an HP, but she refused a monitor. I made a comment like "Oh, you've already got one at home?" and she replied "No, but why would I need an extra? The picture on the side of the box clearly shows that the computer comes with a monitor." So I explained to her that there wasn't a monitor in the box with the comptuer, and she got this really pissed look on her face and said "Now you look here. My husband warned me about people like you. Trying to take advantage of a lady because I don't know much about computers. You should be ashamed of yourself. This conversation is over, and you better feel lucky that I'm not going to go find your manager." And she stormed off to checkout. ... The next day I was off, but my supervisor told me she was back in picking up a monitor. Wish I could have been there.

Damn... lots of really good shit happened at BB. Lemme think of some others...

[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 4:17 PM. Reason : m]

2/28/2006 4:16:17 PM

^haha, damn i would have come into work the next day anyway, just to see her come back.

2/28/2006 4:26:58 PM

If you would have seen her the next day coming back to get a monitor, the look on her face when she saw you would have been picture worthy. PWNT.

2/28/2006 4:36:49 PM

we had a reverse situation to most of these stories. we walked into some store (i forget at this point) and asked about ipods. now my dad like to learn about electronics/computers/etc but isnt exactly fully up to speed. he isnt an idiot though.

either way he asks the salesman, "how large is the mini ipod compared to the regular ipod." the salesman told him, something like 4gb vs 8gb (i dont know much about ipods memory was, but this wasnt the point). my dad responds, "yeah i can read the box, what is the SIZE difference, can i see them out of the box." basically this went on for a minute or two before my dad got pissed and just left. the salesman just kept telling us, in more and more patronizing manner, that the mini held less than the big one when all we wanted to know was physically how much smaller it was.

i mean i understand the initial communication problem, but after about 10 seconds of the "yeah i get that much" portion you'd think he'd either ask what he meant or figured it out.

2/28/2006 4:49:10 PM

i was doing tech support for dialup internet.. one middle-aged guy was having trouble dialing up, sounded like a redneck, didn't know a whole lot about computers. anyways, i walked him through re-creating the dialup connection. his modem dials up, connects, but his password keeps getting rejected. I say

"well, your password is 4children"
"yep, thats it"
"OK, thats 4 as in the number 4 and then children as in children"
"yep that is it"
"and the children is ALL in lower-case"
"yes, that is what I'm using"
"and there are no spaces or anything in the password"
"yep"
"is your caps lock key on?"
"where's that?"
"its the blah blah blah"
"no"

so we try it a few more times. I finally ask him to slowly spell out the whole password he is typing in. turns out, he was spelling it as "4childern".. I didn't know what to say at first. After a pause I said "well, we've got it spelled differently on our end, as 4-c-h-i-l-d-r-e-n"

2/28/2006 5:29:09 PM

haha that's not technically inept, that's just plain inept

which is possibly even funnier

2/28/2006 5:44:19 PM

I had a customer ask me if there was any way to delete only some of the items in their trash and keep others. I told him not without taking the ones he wanted to keep out of the trash before he emptied it. He then proceded to bitch at me for 15 minutes how stupid it was that you couldn't select which items you wanted to delete and which you wanted to keep. All the while I'm wondering why he's keeping files he wants to keep in the trash, and wondering if he says the same thing to his garbage collector.

[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 9:08 PM. Reason : adsf]

2/28/2006 9:07:17 PM

Quote :

"I had a customer ask me if there was any way to delete only some of the items in their trash and keep others. I told him not without taking the ones he wanted to keep out of the trash before he emptied it. He then proceded to bitch at me for 15 minutes how stupid it was that you couldn't select which items you wanted to delete and which you wanted to keep. All the while I'm wondering why he's keeping files he wants to keep in the trash, and wondering if he says the same thing to his garbage collector."

actually that's incorrect

if you open up the recycle bin then you can right click on each file independently and delete them one at a time.



[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 9:10 PM. Reason : .]

2/28/2006 9:10:26 PM

^haha yeah, but i still think it's funny that the guy wanted to keep some files there w/out deleting them

2/28/2006 9:26:19 PM

me: turn on your computer
her: how do i do that?
me: push the power button
her: wheres the power button?

2/28/2006 10:02:44 PM

"where's the 'any' key??"

2/28/2006 10:03:47 PM

Quote :

"I had a customer ask me if there was any way to delete only some of the items in their trash and keep others. I told him not without taking the ones he wanted to keep out of the trash before he emptied it. He then proceded to bitch at me for 15 minutes how stupid it was that you couldn't select which items you wanted to delete and which you wanted to keep. All the while I'm wondering why he's keeping files he wants to keep in the trash, and wondering if he says the same thing to his garbage collector."

JESUS CHRIST

THE IRONY CONTINUES

no wonder you stupid motherfuckers are stuck in dead-end tech support jobs

[Edited on February 28, 2006 at 10:28 PM. Reason : s]

2/28/2006 10:27:48 PM

Quote :

"JESUS CHRIST THE IRONY CONTINUES no wonder you stupid motherfuckers are stuck in dead-end tech support jobs "

Last I knew, people don't keep things they want to keep in the trash. If he wants to keep his fucking files, he needs to keep them someplace that isn't the trash.

2/28/2006 11:43:56 PM

I had one from the tech support days at Red Storm. Customer calls in bitching about how his game isn't working. He says the game won't run after installation and it keeps coming up with an error message "Please insert Disk 1".

So I tell him to put the CD marked Disk 1 in his CD Rom. He began to argue about how he doesn't have that and noone told him he needed to have that. I then asked "How did you install the game?" and he goes "I put the circle thing in the tray".

"that's a CD sir.".
"oh..*click*"

2/28/2006 11:59:19 PM

^ hahahahaha that's a good one.

I worked at bellsouth dial up tech support, and this one time a lady calls up sayin she can't get on the internet. so I go thru the whole trouble-shooting process and she says (no I'm not kidding) "so wait, I have to take the computer out of box?"


me "ma'am what are you talkin about"

her "its in the black and white box, I thought that was the computer"

me "yeah, you have to take it out of the box."

3/1/2006 12:11:08 AM

sounds like Excoriator is a technically inept fuckwad who got made fun of a few times

3/1/2006 8:58:18 AM

because i've corrected the inaccuracies in this thread? interesting.

3/1/2006 10:24:08 AM

I'm have a trackball on my work computer and its always great seeing someone, who has never even heard of one, sit down at and try and navigate around.

Our office manager, this really sweet lady, sat down one day to "do something quick on my computer". which is fine, but i damn near died laughing when she started trying to use the trackball as a mouse. she told me my mouse was broken and then asked why I was laughing at her. which just made me laugh even harder. After a quick explanation, of what a trackball was and how it worked, she got me to do the task for her.

[Edited on March 1, 2006 at 10:27 AM. Reason : a]

3/1/2006 10:26:53 AM

^^
No, because your comments aren't helping anybody out and are destroying the light-hearted nature of this thread. If you want to correct them, politely send them a PM. Who cares if they are incorrect ... realize it, keep your mouth shut, and move on. Stupid troll.

I'm going to play off of synapse's

Quote :

"Me: Reboot your computer Person: What? Me: Er, reboot your computer Person: How do I do that? Me: Start, Shut Down ... blah blah blah "

What got me was this person had been using a computer for at least five or more years.

3/1/2006 11:28:01 AM

Quote :

"because i've corrected the inaccuracies in this thread? interesting."

you havent corrected shit. extremely uninteresting

3/1/2006 11:35:35 AM

another great tale of BB:

I loved Sunday's at BB the best. Those were the best of times because the Ad came out in that mornings paper. You'd get the normal rush of people the second the doors opened in the morning, because they were the ones smart enough to get there asap before all the good deals were sold out.


Then you get the assholes who come in at 5pm, and get furious because you're out of the sale item. I can't remeber what the specific item was, but I think it was a router, and this guy comes in.. seemed intelligent, and asked for one.

Me: Sorry sir, we're already sold out of them. They disappeared pretty quickly this morning. It's a really good deal.
Guy: WHAT?! What do you mean you don't have any??
ME: Yeah, we're sold out.
Guy: You're not even going to check in the computer if you have any?
Me: Sir if we had any, they'd all be out on that shelf.
Guy: Why don't you go check in back??
Me: Sir.. we don't keep any of this type of product in the back. All our inventory is out.
Guy: This is fucking rediculous! You advertise a product in the paper, and you don't even have it for sale.
Me: (trying to interrupt quickly) Sir, if you'd like, we can write you a rain check which will guarentee you the price of the item and we'll call you whenever we get one in.
Guy: When will that be?
Me: We get trucks of inventory twice a week. It could be as soon as tomorrow night.
Guy: So you didn't have any, and now you're telling me I have to wait for one?? No thanks. This is crap. Let me see your manager. I'm going to sue you all for false advertising. You need to learn that if you're going to advertise something, you better damn well have it.

guy was a fucking douche

3/1/2006 3:24:49 PM

I've got this roommate who has no idea how to handle women despite the fact that he watches fruity chick shows all the god damn time.


[Edited on March 1, 2006 at 3:41 PM. Reason : Wait does this count as techinical? Cause I mean he's techinically inept..right?]

3/1/2006 3:40:38 PM

It's amazing how many people don't know that rebooting your machine can fix a ton of application problems.

At least once a week I get someone who describes some crazy ass problem when they run office or something (along with "OMG I CAN'T WORK IT'S BEEN HAPPENING FOR 3 DAYS FIX IT ASAP), and a simple reboot makes it happy.

3/1/2006 3:57:35 PM

Quote :

"If you want to correct them, politely send them a PM. Who cares if they are incorrect ... realize it, keep your mouth shut, and move on."

o really? is that what this thread is all about? sounds to me that its about laughing at the technically inept - which a number of you kids have just proven yourselves to be.

I can understand how such a situation might sting your ego. Nevertheless, if you want to laugh it up at others expense, be prepared to be laughed at yourself.

[Edited on March 1, 2006 at 4:45 PM. Reason : s]

3/1/2006 4:45:24 PM

Quote :

"I had him convinced that the speaker was actually a microphone."

Here's a fun science experiment: plug a pair of headphones into your microphone input. Setup a program to record from that input. Yell directly into one of the speakers, and maybe tap it a few times. Play it back.

3/2/2006 2:46:25 AM