As a field guide, it sucks.

2/18/2008 6:14:37 PM

2/18/2008 8:20:57 PM

Quote :

"Being the Only White Person Around In most situations, white people are very comforted by seeing their own kind. However, when they are eating at a new ethnic restaurant or traveling to a foreign nation, nothing spoils their fun more than seeing another white person. Many white people will look into the window of an ethnic restaurant to see if there are other white people in there. It is determined to be an acceptable restaurant if the white people in there are accompanied by ethnic friends. But if there is a table occupied entirely by white people, it is deemed unacceptable."

2/20/2008 9:43:47 PM

i was reading it earlier, that blog is basically about me

i have a kitchenaid stand mixer and the waffle maker shown

last weekend, i went to the farmer's market, and then drove my volvo to chapel hill to have coffee and breakfast with friends

2/20/2008 10:22:50 PM

if it was really about you, you'd deny it.

hipsters don't like to be called hipsters.

2/20/2008 10:25:19 PM

Quote :

"Studying Abroad In addition to accumulating sexual partners, binge drinking, drug use and learning, white people consider studying abroad to be one of the most important parts of a well rounded college education. Study Abroad allows people to leave their current educational institution and spend a semester or a year in Europe or Australia. Though study abroad are offered to other places, these two are the overwhelming favorites. By attending school in another country, white people are technically living in another country. This is important as it gives them the opportunity to insert that fact into any sentence they please. “When I used to live in [insert country], I would always ride the train to school. The people I’d see were inspiring.”"

2/22/2008 4:06:18 PM

http://www.stuffblackpeoplelove.com/

2/22/2008 4:10:38 PM

HAHA! This site was most definitely written by white people. I mean, I don't know any non-white people that know who Paul Kariya is. (see #11)

2/22/2008 4:25:39 PM

I know three.

w00t!

2/22/2008 4:27:44 PM

Quote :

"Threatening to Move to Canada Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada. For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.” Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly similar to the one they live in now."

yea, i've done that

2/26/2008 5:42:02 PM

screw Canada. Its full of Canadians. And its cold.


If I ever skin out, I'm headed to Cuba

2/26/2008 5:43:28 PM

2/26/2008 5:47:48 PM

BTTT for the latest entries.

3/5/2008 2:38:50 PM

I may move, but I'll be damned if I move to Canada

3/5/2008 2:41:42 PM

Quote :

" Graduate School Being white means to engage in a day in, day out struggle to prove that you are smarter than other white people. By the time they reach college, most white people are confronted with the fact that they may not be as smart as they imagined. In coffee shops, bars, and classes white people will engage in conversations about authors and theorists that go nowhere as both parties start rattling off progressively more obscure people until eventually one side recognizes one and claims a victory. By the time they graduate (or a year or two afterwards), white people realize that they will need an edge to succeed in the cut-throat world of modern white society. That edge is graduate school. Though professional graduate schools like law and medicine are desirable, the true ivory tower of academia is most coveted as it imparts true, useless knowledge. The best subjects are English, History, Art History, Film, Gender Studies, Studies, Classics, Philosophy, Political Science, Literature, and the ultimate: Comp Lit. MFA’s are also acceptable."

3/5/2008 3:07:18 PM

Quote :

"After this crisis, a white person will follow one of two paths. The first involves dropping out and moving to New York, San Francisco or their original home town where they can resume the job that they left to attend graduate school."

spot on

3/5/2008 3:43:22 PM

I like

http://www.whitewhine.com/

Quote :

"“I mean it feels good to buy organic, but would it kill Whole Foods to stock Diet Coke?”"

Quote :

"“Ethos Water?! Nice ‘Bait and Switch,’ Starbucks. I had gotten accustomed to buying Fiji water here and, YES I CAN taste the difference!” "

Quote :

" “I understand everyone is taking Christmas off, but you would think NPR wouldn’t run an ’All Things Considered’ that they ran LAST MONTH as holiday filler material.”"

Quote :

"“I mean seriously….how many hockey games can one guy miss and still call himself a fan? They are called SEASON tickets for a reason.” "

Quote :

" Ugh, I hate when they put my white wine in red wine glasses, it makes me not even want to drink it!"

3/5/2008 3:51:34 PM

If it hasn't been posted already:

Quote :

"#80 - The Idea of Soccer Many white people will tell you that they are very into soccer. But be careful, it’s a trap. If you then attempt to engage them about your favorite soccer team or talk about famous moments in soccer history, you are likely to be met with blank stares. This is because white people don’t actually enjoy watching soccer, they just like telling their friends that they are into it. In fact, the main reason white people like soccer is so they can buy a new scarf. As you may or may not know, many soccer teams issue special scarves, and white people cannot get enough of them! Most white people choose a favorite soccer team based on either a study abroad experience or a particularly long vacation to Europe or South America. When they return, they like to tell their friends about how great “football” is and that they are committed to ‘getting more into’ now that they have returned home. Some white people take this charade so far as to actually play in adult soccer leagues or attend a local professional match. The best method for exploiting this is to ask a white person who their favorite football team is and how they came to be fans. This will allow them to tell you about their time abroad and feel as though they have impressed you with their knowledge. Once they have finished talking, it is acceptable to ask for favors. Note: Europeans are actually into Soccer and are exempt from this entry, however they are free to use it to their advantage when in North America."

3/5/2008 4:02:47 PM

"I go home, and I'm like, 'Man, my mom's the whitest person ever'"
-Nerdchick, after asking me if I've checked out this site yet

3/11/2008 6:13:29 PM

Quote :

"I don't know how many white people have heard of Mos Def, but the second paragraph is hilarious."

i used to live with him

3/11/2008 6:15:58 PM

hahaha

3/11/2008 6:16:59 PM

Quote :

"#88 Having Gay Friends If white people could draft friends the way that the NFL drafts prospects it would go like this: black friends, gay friends, and then all other minorities would be drafted based on need and rarity to the region. When choosing gay friends, white people like to base their decision on their own needs and requirements. Younger white people tend to prefer young, high social social gay people-this is their all important ticket into nightclubs and parties. When a straight person goes to a gay night club, they are reminded of how progressive and tolerant they are. If they are hit on by a member of the same sex, it provides them with a valuable story that they can use to prove to their other friends that they are more progressive and tolerant. “This guy/girl hit on me, I said I was ’straight but not narrow,’ and it was totally chill. Oh, you went to an Irish bar this weekend? That’s cool, I guess. “ Older white people prefer to be friends with gay parents because it enables their children to experience much needed diversity with people who are, for all intents and purposes, exactly the same as them. It is also worth noting that a gay friendship of any sort allows white people to feel as though they are a part of the gay rights movement. While white people love being a part of any movement, the gay movement is especially important to them because they can blend in at rallies and protests and spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression. Gay friends are an essential part of a white person’s all-star diversity roster. But they are always on the lookout for the ultimate friend; a gay minority. It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity - like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker. White people will crawl over each other for the opportunity to claim this person as a friend and add them to their roster of diversity. Other minorities are also highly prized and assigned a ranking based on the level of intolerance in they face from their respective cultures and family members. Once a white person has told you about their gay friends, it is recommended that you say “I wish more people were like you,” every few months. This will allow them to feel good about their progressive choice of friends and remind them that they are better than other white people. If you follow this simple rule, you should be able to maximize all benefits of white friendship including assistance in moving and free drinks."

lol

3/14/2008 2:41:19 PM

funny because its so true

3/14/2008 3:00:41 PM

Shorts

LOL

3/14/2008 3:24:02 PM

LOL this is from White Whine

Quote :

"You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find replacement parts for my NordicTrack."

3/16/2008 2:10:20 PM

Quote :

"#92 Book Deals The combination of white people and books has been a pretty solid combo for the past few hundred years. So whenever a white person is given a chance to write a book, it’s considered a pretty big deal. This is especially true when it happens to someone who started a blog that they never expected to reach more than 100 people. Our research has slowed in recent weeks as we worked out the details, but Stuff White People Like are proud to announce that our textbook on white people is becoming a reality. http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780812979916 The book will feature 2/3 all new content and is going to be released by Random House in August. But that does not mean that the site will stop examining the stuff that white people like. If you’d like to receive updates about the site or about the book, please sign up for the email subscription service on the right sidebar. Also worth noting: white people like having their dreams come true when they least expected it. Thank you to every single person who has read the blog, written in, or shared it with their friends via email, IM, or personal blog."

good for that guy i guess

will it be that much different than the page?

[Edited on March 27, 2008 at 1:09 PM. Reason : there's only so many things Ø]

3/27/2008 1:07:30 PM

Quote :

"#93. Music Piracy White people have always been renowned for having ridiculously large music collections. So when file sharing gave white people a chance to acquire all the music they ever wanted, it felt as though it was an earned right and not a privilege. When (not if) you see a white male with a full iPod, ask him if all of his music is legal. If he does not immediately launch into a diatribe about his right to pirate music, you might have to nudge him a bit by saying “do you think that’s right?” The response will be immediate and uniform. He will likely rattle off statistics about how most musicians don’t make any money from albums, it all comes from touring and merchandise. So by attending shows, he is able to support the musicians while simultaneously striking a blow against multinational corporations. He will proceed to walk you through the process of how record labels are set up to reward the corporation and fundamentally rob the artist of their rights, royalties and creativity. Prepare to hear the name Steve Albini a lot."

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 1:05 PM. Reason : .]

3/31/2008 1:05:04 PM

i must be white then, because i can relate to pretty much everything on that website (going to cut my wrist, brb)

[Edited on March 31, 2008 at 1:24 PM. Reason : white people love pets, why is that not on the list?]

3/31/2008 1:22:20 PM

Quote :

"Prepare to hear the name Steve Albini a lot."

OMG.

Fuck yes.

This is the best joke in the history of this blog.

3/31/2008 1:41:07 PM

I don't get the music piracy one.

Seems like something every race and culture enjoys equally.

3/31/2008 1:43:05 PM

Quote :

"white people love pets, why is that not on the list?"

i think you can propose new ones be added...

3/31/2008 1:43:46 PM

the name of of this blog should be

'stuffwhitepeopledothatmakethemthinktheyarebetterthanotherraces.com'

3/31/2008 1:43:57 PM

^^white people tend to brag about their 'catalog' of music. and how they have digital backups of everything.

3/31/2008 1:44:56 PM

white people love bumper stickers. need a blog post about this as well.

3/31/2008 1:46:06 PM

oh and white people love heinous crimes, like fucking 5 months old babies

3/31/2008 1:48:14 PM

"#4 Assists"

Pretty funny, but damn this dude is racist.

3/31/2008 1:48:25 PM

white people like the lake

white people like target

wut wut

3/31/2008 1:50:29 PM

none of you will find this funny, but i like that there are spinoffs of this site galore:

http://stuffhillpeoplelike.blogspot.com/

4/18/2008 1:24:46 PM

white people like bike racks on their car. since spinners were designed to be a probable cause to have your vehicle searched, they had to find some else to floss with on their car - so bike rack it was, and bike rack it is!

4/18/2008 1:29:56 PM

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/05/12/99-grammar/

good one for a few on this site

5/13/2008 11:28:45 AM

Quote :

"When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,” “being poor,” or “getting shot.” If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their’ when they mean ‘there.’ Maybe comma splices, I’m not sure but it’s definitely one of the two.” ... In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. ... Don’t worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread."

It's like he's looking into my soul.

5/13/2008 11:32:50 AM

^http://englishfail.wordpress.com/

^^^^I thought it was funny.

5/13/2008 11:34:29 AM

chembob, you just made me very happy

[Edited on May 13, 2008 at 11:37 AM. Reason : AND I found a typo in a cookbook this weekend ]

5/13/2008 11:37:32 AM

Quote :

"#100 Bumper Stickers It is a fact that white people will never turn down an opportunity to enlighten other people on the correct way to think. While this is very easy to do through email or face to face conversation, it is exceptionally difficult to do while driving a car. Fortunately for white people there is a solution that is both popular and ineffective: bumper stickers."

5/21/2008 8:40:19 PM

Quote :

"Another important thing to know is that when white people read magazines and books they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that they are better than the writer and the publication since they would have caught the mistake. The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill. If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party."

Technician is good for crosswords and the above.

5/29/2008 4:08:19 PM

Contest for free book:

Quote :

"Stuff White People Like will be released on July 1st, 2008 through Random House and to celebrate we are holding a long awaited competition to find the next great expert on the stuff white people like. The book features: 50% all new, never before seen material Flow charts including: “How to name a white child” and “where should a white person live?” A definitive, easy to score quiz to determine your exact level of whiteness and much more. Available for Pre-order from these book retailers. How to win a copy Now is finally your chance to show off your knowledge of white people! Send in an entry of 350 words or less to stuffwhitepeoplelike@gmail.com with the title “SWPL ENTRY” (all caps). The winner will receive a copy of Stuff White People Like in their choice of either autographed or mint condition and will have their fully credited entry posted to the site. Rules No Duplicate Posts By submitting an entry you are granting all rights to your submitted material to the operators of Stuff White People Like. Last Day for submission is Friday, June 20th. Winner will be announced Monday, June 23rd."

6/16/2008 5:47:49 PM

Isabel got a normal-sized restaurant...

http://www.indyweek.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A259120

Now where will I go to feel "real" in Ashe County?!?!?!

6/16/2008 6:57:19 PM

Quote :

"#106 Facebook Social Networking sites have been embraced by white people since their inception. Because these sites use profile pages, white people can more efficiently judge friends and future friends on their taste in film, books, music, and inspirational quotes. Advanced level white people, fearful of being judged on their tastes from last week, will often only list one or two ironic things as their favorites. For example under music they would simply list “P.M. Dawn” or under films they would choose only Armageddon. In both cases these ironic answers serve as protective shields from the harsh gaze of other white people. However, it is important to remember that the “where” is often as important as the “who” when it comes to social networking. As noted in earlier posts, white people are obsessed with being in the right neighborhood and the Internet is no exception. In the early days, white people joined a social networking service called Friendster where they could connect with old friends and make new ones. Eventually, white people started to notice more and more of their friends on MySpace, so they closed their Friendster accounts and migrated to the new service. It was like living in a neighborhood that was pretty good but kind of far away, so you might have to miss out on a few parties. Needless to say, this was unacceptable. For a brief period of time, MySpace was the site where everyone kept their profile and managed their friendships. But soon, the service began to attract fake profiles, the wrong kind of white people, and struggling musicians. In real world terms, these three developments would be equivalent to a check cashing store, a TGIFridays, and a housing project. All which strike fear in the hearts of white people. White people were nervous but had nowhere else to go. Then Facebook came along and offered advanced privacy settings, closed networks, and a clean interface. In respective real world terms, these features are analogous to an apartment or house with a security system/doorman, an alumni dinner, and a homeowners association that protects the aesthetics of the neighborhood. In spite of these advances, some white people still clung to their old MySpace accounts. That was until they learned that Facebook started, like so many things beloved by white people, at Harvard."

[Edited on September 8, 2008 at 9:22 PM. Reason : .]

9/8/2008 9:21:42 PM