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 Message Boards » » Rob's 5 Rules for Housewives Page 1 2 [3], Prev  
LivinProof78
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^^^^hmmm....just don't try to sleep with me when i'm wasted

^^don't worry...me and JCASHFAN are getting married anyway....and i'm going to be his stay at home wife....and he's going to build the house on MY land....and we're going to have an open marriage...so we can bwn down on his dime

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:35 AM. Reason : 2]

3/17/2008 9:35:08 AM

JCASHFAN
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[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:36 AM. Reason : words]

3/17/2008 9:35:58 AM

ScHpEnXeL
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k, i'll be the "other" guy that you get to bwn given your open relationship/marriage

just make sure to provide for me with his moneys

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:36 AM. Reason : asdf]

3/17/2008 9:36:27 AM

LivinProof78
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you can be my pool boy

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:37 AM. Reason : don't be fooled...you won't be "THE" other guy...but you can be "A"nother guy ]

3/17/2008 9:37:11 AM

JCASHFAN
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haha, no. Seperate accounts. I'll provide for her monetary needs in exchange for her land, but I don't think we actually expect to sleep with each other, so she's all yours . . . just not in my bed.


As I recall, our "marriage" has only 2 rules:

1) Take care of each other. (you know, if one of us gets sick or in a car wreck)
2) Stay scandalous.

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:39 AM. Reason : .]

3/17/2008 9:37:24 AM

LivinProof78
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Quote :
"haha, no. Seperate accounts. I'll provide for her monetary needs in exchange for her land, but I don't think we actually expect to sleep with each other, so she's all yours . . . just not in my bed."



that's what you think


[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:41 AM. Reason : dfasd]

3/17/2008 9:39:29 AM

LunaK
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<~ slowly backs out of thread........

3/17/2008 9:40:28 AM

ScHpEnXeL
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I'm in

3/17/2008 9:41:35 AM

JCASHFAN
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^^^ are you implying that

a) you'd rape me?
b) you'd steal all my money?
c) you'd sleep with my mistresses (there would always be at least one on my bed)
d) all of the above.

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:42 AM. Reason : ^]

3/17/2008 9:42:27 AM

pilgrimshoes
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if a midget and an amazonian warrior princess got down.....

3/17/2008 9:42:52 AM

chembob
Yankee Cowboy
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can i be the young guy you're seeing, LivinProof?

3/17/2008 9:43:04 AM

JCASHFAN
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^^ i prefer the term little person.


shit, I could make money by dressing up in green and hiring myself out today!



[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:43 AM. Reason : ^ Perfect, he can wear a little sailor outfit and drive you around on our boat!]

3/17/2008 9:43:22 AM

pilgrimshoes
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profit!

3/17/2008 9:44:13 AM

LivinProof78
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^^^^oh..i'm getting your money too...don't you forget that...

(so...if a hobbit and an amazonian warrior got together ..)

^^^you won't be young enough by the time this all happens



[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:45 AM. Reason : dasd]

3/17/2008 9:45:11 AM

chembob
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hah

i remember you saying a couple years ago that i was too young

3/17/2008 9:45:58 AM

ScHpEnXeL
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I have a birthday this month I feel old.

3/17/2008 9:46:45 AM

LivinProof78
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^^you're crazy...

i have NEVER said any dude was TOO young

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:47 AM. Reason : sadf]

3/17/2008 9:46:50 AM

JCASHFAN
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Ponce de Leon's original motivation was to bwn Casey.

^^^ and you also made the mistake of saying "guy". I can assure you, there will be multiple, so I have multiple sources of income when I accuse her of infedility and sue the pants off her and all her little boy toys.


Largely so I can use said income to continue to fund our deviant lifestyle somewhere in Latin America.

3/17/2008 9:47:29 AM

chembob
Yankee Cowboy
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you said it

if they didn't delete the old PMs, i'd pull it up for you

you said wait till i'm 22

3/17/2008 9:47:58 AM

LivinProof78
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oh...i must have been having my "i'm not messing around with young dudes again" day....

3/17/2008 9:49:55 AM

chembob
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well, feel free to mess with this young dude

i'm still young, right?

3/17/2008 9:50:29 AM

LivinProof78
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how old are you?

3/17/2008 9:51:07 AM

chembob
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20

3/17/2008 9:51:39 AM

LivinProof78
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yeah...you're still young

3/17/2008 9:52:26 AM

pilgrimshoes
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that hobag played the hobbit card

3/17/2008 9:52:35 AM

JCASHFAN
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wait, are you short too?

3/17/2008 9:54:08 AM

LivinProof78
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^^

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 9:54 AM. Reason : Frodo...i'll be your Xena anyday ]

3/17/2008 9:54:18 AM

chembob
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DAMMIT

3/17/2008 9:55:14 AM

pilgrimshoes
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Quote :
"wait, are you short too?"


5'10"

but for some reason when my hair is longer, all the girls think i look like frodo.

and that bothers me.

3/17/2008 9:56:38 AM

chembob
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psshaw

i'm 5'8"

3/17/2008 9:57:20 AM

JCASHFAN
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^^ ahhhhh.

damnit, I'm probably the shortest guy in this thread.

3/17/2008 9:57:40 AM

LivinProof78
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and since begonias and El Borracho are in here, i'm probably the tallest girl



[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 10:00 AM. Reason : one my time]

3/17/2008 9:58:51 AM

chembob
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you can't much shorter the 5'5", tho, right

cause that's what i would call "short"

3/17/2008 9:59:09 AM

ScHpEnXeL
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looks like i'm the tallest...which i find strange

3/17/2008 9:59:14 AM

JCASHFAN
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16 1/2 hands

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 10:04 AM. Reason : ~ 5'6"]

3/17/2008 10:01:40 AM

pilgrimshoes
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i measure my dong in hands

3/17/2008 10:03:38 AM

LivinProof78
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to be fair...hobbits have small hands though

3/17/2008 10:04:15 AM

pilgrimshoes
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3/17/2008 10:05:22 AM

JCASHFAN
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^^ big feet though . . .

3/17/2008 10:05:32 AM

chembob
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you're not too short

3/17/2008 10:05:48 AM

JCASHFAN
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tell that to a woman like begonias . . . 5'6" aint tall.

3/17/2008 2:15:17 PM

LivinProof78
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as long as you don't get a complex about me wearing really high heels

3/17/2008 2:23:14 PM

pilgrimshoes
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aww

it's like tom and nicole

3/17/2008 2:24:44 PM

JCASHFAN
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^^I've managed to avoid a short-mans complex so far. I only get tired of short jokes when they're unimaginative and repetitive.

Example:

Unfunny -- oh, you're so short, like a Keebler elf.
Funny -- so, do you buy all your clothes from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company?



^ except that Tom and Nicole are attractive and I'm not batshit crazy. Although we both know people who are.

[Edited on March 17, 2008 at 2:33 PM. Reason : and I could act if I was paid as much as him.]

3/17/2008 2:28:44 PM

MrsWufie
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Absolutely can not resist...

6 Rules for being a Stay at Home Wife...

1) Don't be one unless you have children. Otherwise, you could be contributing you your family financially.
2) Don't go to the malls or out to eat when working people may be there -- you just get in the way of hard-working citizens.
3) If you are a Stay At Home'er...by all means your house should be spotless. Don't waste your time watching trash on TV when you could be productive.
4) You should never have more than 1 full load of any laundry dirty at a time. You're home -- do the laundry.
5) By all means take time to get dressed and do your make-up daily...you'd be mad if he came home nasty, don't let him come home to you being nasty.
6) Ask for a budget...you've not got anything pressing to do, so you can shop for bargins. Coupons are your friend.



And .... in response to volunteering...just have her join the Jr. League. Not only will she do community service, but she'll also be with driven women who will make sure she always knows how to dress in a way that you wouldn't find embarrassing anywhere outside of the grocery store, gym, or Wal-Mart.

3/28/2008 3:56:03 PM

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