I'm just saying...If I have to stay with you for the rest of my life, you better give me something worth keeping.

[Edited on May 12, 2008 at 3:15 PM. Reason : page 3]

5/12/2008 3:14:52 PM

Quote :

"FAT WHITE ASS"

5/12/2008 3:15:12 PM

Quote :

"I HAVE ONE"

5/12/2008 3:18:37 PM

Quote :

"LUCIOUS GHETTO BOOTY"

5/12/2008 3:20:14 PM

Quote :

"BIG ROUND ONION"

5/12/2008 3:20:44 PM

what the fuck is this nonsense

5/12/2008 3:21:09 PM

btt

Quote :

"Every day, I get another question from a young man who clearly doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. That’s to be expected in this modern age of Kim Possible and Dr. Cuddy. On TV, women don’t fuck up constantly the way they do in real life — at least not on the channels men watch. The only way to discover the Incompetent Truth is by living life or by listening to someone with a set of balls. That’s why I’m writing this guide. I’ve got the balls, I’ve got the stamps on my passport, and I would love to fuck a 17 year old girl without getting sent to prison. That was a pun. Besides, vicarious rape is still legal. That was another pun. Is it okay to cry? No, it’s never okay to cry. Unless it’s after something really moving, right? No. My girlfriend said something outrageously stupid and I… There’s no reason to finish that sentence. The biggest mistake a young man can make is having a girlfriend. Girlfriends are like dead rats. You can barely do anything fun with them, and once they sink their teeth into your arm, it’s a messy and brutal enterprise to pry them loose. Grab your manliest crowbar. Girlfriends are a bigger drain on your time than alcohol, marijuana, and masturbating, combined. Even alcoholics can function 20% of the day. People stoned off their asses become carpenters and avant-garde chefs. Baloo-ing the Bear reduces stress, depression, and will eventually give you some hilarious stories. On a long enough time line, everyone gets caught. Girlfriends, however, are Waste Incarnate, crammed into pants made for someone half their size and twice their price. "

5/12/2008 3:27:05 PM

5/12/2008 3:45:27 PM

Quote :

"notice how all the feminist bullshit about "equal treatment" goes right out the fucking window as soon as money/jewelry come into the picture"

5/12/2008 4:06:31 PM

Quote :

"notice how all the feminist bullshit about "equal treatment" goes right out the fucking window as soon as money/jewelry come into the picture"

I said I'd give the engagement ring back: how am I being inconstant there?

[Edited on May 12, 2008 at 4:09 PM. Reason : I also don't need a man to earn money for me: I can do that myself, fyi.]

5/12/2008 4:07:05 PM

for engagment rings, you give it back, end of story.

its for an ENGAGMENT. if you dont go through with the marriage, you give it back because you cannot accept his ring if you dont accept him. just look at all the sappy romantic comedies. whenever a girl breaks up an engagement, she throws the ring at him. take the cue! otherwise, its just stealing.

5/12/2008 4:08:50 PM

you weren't the only woman posting in this thread.

Besides, there was a thread made a while back where the majority of the women in it said they wouldn't give the ring back.

5/12/2008 4:09:40 PM

no, but I'm one of the two that claimed they were feminists

the majority of the women in this thread have made no such claim

[Edited on May 12, 2008 at 4:11 PM. Reason : so that sentence wouldn't make any sense]

5/12/2008 4:10:40 PM

Quote :

"what the fuck is this nonsense"

5/12/2008 4:13:22 PM

Quote :

"well i have an object that i treat sorta like a man so i guess it's ok "

lol from page 2

5/12/2008 4:46:40 PM

best site ever

5/12/2008 5:13:52 PM

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"Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored."

roflol

5/12/2008 9:01:07 PM

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"Dealing with women is like playing pin the tail on the donkey with a blindfolded Nazi. They’re fucking crazy and always playing stupid kids’ games that have nothing to do with life."

5/12/2008 9:45:36 PM

so do you all think women are more annoying or more dumb?

5/12/2008 10:18:02 PM

Quote :

"A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke. "

I like wearing a watch

5/12/2008 10:41:19 PM

Quote :

"If I have to stay with you for the rest of my life, you better give me something worth keeping."

Wait, you don't just get married for "richer" circumstances. You are supposed to marry out of love. You'll be given whatever is reasonable for the guy to afford if he loves you, that's how it works.

If you turn him down because the rock isn't big enough, or even nag him about it (or even think "this is too small for me"), you aren't ready to get married. The monetary value of the engagement ring has nothing to do with the validity of the marriage or why the offer came about. It's just the nicest thing the guy could offer to show his love, and depending on the income level of the guy that might not be worth very much.

Whatever, I'm sure you just mean that the guy should make an honest effort when buying the ring. You're not actually going to judge the shit out of a guy just because he didn't drop 20% of his annual income on a single ring, or because the ring didn't have a 2kt diamond on it and cost over ten thousand dollars.

Right?

5/12/2008 11:12:48 PM

Quote :

"This can be proved in a quick stroll down the checkout aisle at your local market of groceries — a place thick to the rafters with women. Take a look at some of their magazines and you will no doubt see a running theme: ‘Ten Ways to not suck in bed’, ‘Six Things to do to Your Man that aren’t Lay There Like a Futon’, and ‘Honestly who gives half a fuck about socks being on or off? Jesus Christ that’s pathetic’.""

haha

the thing is, i don't think most of them care as much as you'd think, judging from those magazines

either that or they still can't figure it out no matter how many "tips and tricks" they read about


at least 80% of women are SO lame in bed


either that or I've happened to stumble across a small handful of real all-stars who've warped my perception of what I should expect, and now "decent" seems completely lame.

but I'm fairly certain that the overwhelming majority of women are terrible in bed

probably because they can be.

5/12/2008 11:38:10 PM

^If you wrote a book (or made a thread even) entitled "How to be an All-star in bed", I would read it till I knew it by heart

5/12/2008 11:59:10 PM

i bet it would start with "don't just lay there"

5/13/2008 1:22:10 AM

Quote :

"If you turn him down because the rock isn't big enough, or even nag him about it (or even think "this is too small for me"), you aren't ready to get married. worth marrying."

5/13/2008 2:39:08 AM

5/13/2008 3:00:27 AM

^ awesome

5/13/2008 7:59:31 AM

Quote :

"No woman has ever been in charge of her own passport. This isn’t in the same way no woman has ever been in charge of the dinner bill either. Women can’t do math. That’s been proven again and again for thousands of years. That’s why men have always paid for dinner. It’s not about chivalry or any of that shit. It’s that women can’t add or subtract or fucking count to 20 without sandals on. Making them count up the bill in their little heads will just waste your time and embarrass and humiliate them."

5/13/2008 10:05:27 AM

^ok...now that's true...i can't do math for shit

5/13/2008 10:17:31 AM

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"Women can’t do math."

My A's in calculus 1,2, and 3 say otherwise.

5/13/2008 10:32:25 AM

psst, calculus isn't math

5/13/2008 11:09:29 AM

This thread still delivers.

5/13/2008 11:10:24 AM

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"I would love to fuck a 17 year old girl without getting sent to prison."

you can in NC!

5/13/2008 11:18:20 AM

Quote :

"Women are as obsessed with self-reliance as Dumbo was with his magic feather. The only difference between women and Dumbo is that in order to make Dumbo fly, we have to suspend our disbelief. In order to make women independent, we have to put Starbucks on every corner so they can’t possibly get lost, make everything free including loans and credit cards, and reverse numbers so that “children raised by single mothers are eight times more likely to go to prison” actually means “less likely”."

5/13/2008 11:44:23 AM

this kind of misogyny is really quite gay

5/13/2008 12:02:37 PM

aside from the myriad of contradictions and poor syntax of this website (it reads like it was written by DNL) I did laugh at this:

Quote :

"‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’"

5/13/2008 12:27:05 PM

Quote :

"FUCKING FASTIDIOUS MANNER"

5/13/2008 1:13:51 PM

Taking a photo of yoru 5 inch penis then posting it on the wolf web is really quite gay.

5/13/2008 2:47:15 PM

Quote :

"All women suffer from a form of female narcissistic personality disorder, FNPD for short. Here are a summary of the symptoms: 1. Being loud and obnoxious. 2. Speaking when they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. 3. Beating the shit out of children. That sums up every woman in the world. Also: can’t drive for shit. "

5/13/2008 3:20:16 PM

Quote :

"haha the thing is, i don't think most of them care as much as you'd think, judging from those magazines either that or they still can't figure it out no matter how many "tips and tricks" they read about at least 80% of women are SO lame in bed either that or I've happened to stumble across a small handful of real all-stars who've warped my perception of what I should expect, and now "decent" seems completely lame. but I'm fairly certain that the overwhelming majority of women are terrible in bed probably because they can be."

Duke I think your perception might be skewed. I'm guessing that some of your encounters have been one night stands? Of course those are gonna suck! It can take a few tries to get comfortable with a partner. Missionary is like the default, then later you get used to the other person and feel better making requests and being adventurous. And plenty of women have guilt issues about having sex in the first place (thx Christian church). Enjoying sex means you have to take responsibility for it.

It's a bummer that you're unhappy with 80% of your partners! But it's not fair to put all the blame on women for being bad lovers. You're partly at fault for not communicating what you want.

I still have my book from PEH 213

5/13/2008 3:33:28 PM

yeah...i'm going to add to my original statement by saying....


i bet it would start with "Don't just lay there...or at least roll over so I can stick it in your butt. If you won't do either of these then you better give good head."


there you go....the men's guide to "sex tips for women"

5/13/2008 3:50:57 PM

^ I LOL'D

5/13/2008 3:53:03 PM

Quote :

"And plenty of women have guilt issues about having sex in the first place (thx Christian church)."

that's stupid...you're saying that women are so stupid and weak-willed that they can't be their own person because of what a group of people says about them? why not throw the rest of the planet in there (after all, muslims depress their women and women are second-rate citizens in a lot of asia and television says they need to sleep around to be liked and magazines say that they're not pretty unless they're under 100 pounds and don't even get me STARTED on the 1950s)

waaaaaaaaaaah!

5/13/2008 4:12:02 PM

^^ haha

i laughed

Quote :

"Duke I think your perception might be skewed. I'm guessing that some of your encounters have been one night stands? Of course those are gonna suck! It can take a few tries to get comfortable with a partner. Missionary is like the default, then later you get used to the other person and feel better making requests and being adventurous. And plenty of women have guilt issues about having sex in the first place (thx Christian church). Enjoying sex means you have to take responsibility for it. It's a bummer that you're unhappy with 80% of your partners! But it's not fair to put all the blame on women for being bad lovers. You're partly at fault for not communicating what you want. "

well, some of those--ok, most of them--were one-night stands.

and i totally agree that sex generally gets better over time with the same person.

as far as not communicating, sometimes it's a matter of denied requests, and sometimes it's a matter of just not reaally getting into it, and sometimes it's a matter of just not being in as good of shape--if you're sucking wind, it's tough to suck anything else.

also, out of the three i can think of who stood out as really good...one was a one-nighter; the other two went on for a couple of months, but were absolutely awesome starting from round 1. Of course, they were also incredible whores. The lady in street/freak in bed seems to be an elusive find.

5/13/2008 4:19:00 PM

Quote :

"that's stupid...you're saying that women are so stupid and weak-willed that they can't be their own person because of what a group of people says about them?"

duhhh ... of course the religion you were raised on is gonna affect how you view sex. It doesn't make you weak or stupid. A person who hears that "sex is dirty & Jesus disapproves" for all their formative years will probably have negative feelings about sex. And many people grow up with anti-sex propaganda from home, church, and school. You know those pictures of deformed penii they show you in high school. Don't you dare fornicate, children, or you will look like this!

5/13/2008 4:30:28 PM

Mup Da Doo Didda Po Mo Gub Bidda Be Dat Tum

5/13/2008 4:33:00 PM

Quote :

"as far as not communicating, sometimes it's a matter of denied requests, and sometimes it's a matter of just not reaally getting into it, and sometimes it's a matter of just not being in as good of shape--if you're sucking wind, it's tough to suck anything else."

These all sound like compatibility issues, not a case of one person being "lame in bed." Not everyone can match with everyone else. It's nobody's fault. And if both parties aren't willing to fix the problem, then the relationship wasn't worth it anyway.

5/13/2008 4:36:28 PM

Quote :

"Marriage Is A Business In 2006, 86 billion dollars was blown on weddings. This number is misleading, however, as it does not include all the bullshit newly married women buy in an effort to wash the stain of ex-girlfriend off of their new husband’s old furniture. Yes. Women think like that. The 86 billion dollar Wedding Waste also does not account for all the vacation plans and work days your average wedding fucks with — especially mine. The real dollar figure is probably in the trillions. Remember when Jennifer Aniston shut down the PCH for her wedding? How much did that bitch cost? "

5/21/2008 9:48:05 AM

Quote :

"duhhh ... of course the religion you were raised on is gonna affect how you view sex. It doesn't make you weak or stupid. A person who hears that "sex is dirty & Jesus disapproves" for all their formative years will probably have negative feelings about sex. And many people grow up with anti-sex propaganda from home, church, and school. You know those pictures of deformed penii they show you in high school. Don't you dare fornicate, children, or you will look like this!"

what sort of fucked up churches did you people go to? let me guess - baptist or catholic? or are you talking outside of any actual experience?

all christians != anti-sex "you make baby jesus cry" people

5/21/2008 10:21:16 AM

mommy didn't love me

5/21/2008 1:20:26 PM