Quote :

"well any guy will tell you that the absolute worst thing to get a boner in is dress slacks"

yuup, i have this one pair of silk lined dress pants that just beg me to get a boner at inopportune times

6/10/2008 8:06:59 PM

Quote :

"I forgot about the dress pants boners, those are the worst by far."

I've had countless boners in Church from high school to this day. I just lean against the pew in front of me and keep it down.

Swim practices in high school - Getting a boner in a speedo always calls for the tuck down because it would stick out of the waist band if pulled up. So during meets or practices I got the banana hammock going on while swimming. We also used to make thongs out of our speedos and flip turn. Lastly, we would pull our balls out and swim with them hanging out one side of the speedo and dick out the other side when we had girls in our lane and next to us. Coed sports teams in high school always ended up with dark bus rides back from sporting events (swimming in my case) which were fine for sweat pants or wind breaker boners.

In 7th grade during reading time, I was sitting in my chair slouched back with my feet up on the chair in front of me. In this position the crotch area of my jeans made the elusive "jeans penis" I looks like you got a hardon but there isn't one. Well the girl next to me didn't believe me as she pointed and freaked out. So I had to stand up and pull my jeans tight so she would believe me.

Wrestling matches during middle school usually resulted in someone getting a boner. I never had to wrestle a girl but I've seen guys pop boners when wrestling girls they were always embarrassed and the girls were grossed the hell out.

6/10/2008 9:13:36 PM

^OMG. YOU GOT BONERS WHILE WRESLTING A GUY.


and you're my roomie

6/10/2008 9:17:59 PM

Nah I wasn't a starter so I never got to wrestle, been to plenty of matches though.

6/10/2008 9:22:52 PM

i remember getting one in 7th grade. i was at a baseball game and between 7th grade and the present, a lot of times it just happens for no fucking reason. (no pun intended)

so since i was in baseball pants and top, i tucked it in the waist band. but we had food served to us after the game, while around the tent thing, my mom goes, do you still have your cup in. im like, "yea". and ran off, i then untucked my shirt and realized they could tell it was there, so untucked shirt that was below the crotch usually helps in hiding.

6/10/2008 9:38:33 PM

Ahhhh the swim team boner

I felt like seeing boners was a present for me finishing the 500 free during a meet

6/10/2008 10:24:59 PM

re: dress pants boners

That's why I'm glad I can wear short-sleeved polos to work. Just slide one arm in the sleeve, reach down and do the tuck-up, and no one is ever the wiser.

6/10/2008 10:36:53 PM

If I had a song about my boners it would go...

"Boo I know you felt it,

Girl you know I can't help it
Girl you know I can't help it
Girl you know I can't help it
Girl you know I can't help it
Girl you know I can't help it
Girl you know I can't help it"

and then the DJ would start another song

6/10/2008 10:44:30 PM

i wish i could be a guy for a day so i could know what a chubby feels like

6/10/2008 10:54:06 PM

you got this thing that hangs from your body and it gets bigger...thats about it

6/10/2008 10:55:57 PM

I can't wear boxers on days that I teach...I'd hate to poke an eye out.

6/10/2008 11:01:22 PM

^^^ obligatory, I'll show you what one feels like

6/10/2008 11:04:48 PM

my favorite boner phrase

Quote :

"pitching a tent"

6/10/2008 11:05:02 PM

My story: at lunch one day with my bf, we were talking about me getting my nipples pierced. I had no idea I'd given him a boner until it was time to go, and he goes 'wait.'

I'm like, 'why? You have to get back to work.'

'i have a boner '

'Oh! ok, so...ruling out the icecaps melting...anyways, so I think I'll get bars first, because those heal better, and if you want to be mean, you can tie string to the ends. How's that boner?'

I kept it up so long he had to walk out with a boner. It was during the summer, and he was in dress pants (i still remember the exact pair)

6/10/2008 11:06:54 PM

I like it when Ken grinds me but random boner in the club MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE!!

6/10/2008 11:08:22 PM

I've usually had too much to drink to get a boner unless the girl is really hot or really grinding.

6/10/2008 11:11:08 PM

but yeah, added to my topics. this is gold.

6/10/2008 11:22:50 PM

yea, thats happened quite a bit, just the girl gets so into it i have to think of shit

if im really drunk, i probably am not dancing

6/10/2008 11:23:08 PM

^^that picture makes me LOL every time

6/10/2008 11:30:35 PM

i think there needs to be a female version of their stories about getting some juices flowin.

hear how things go for them and no visual embarrassments unless they happen to soak their shorts


[Edited on June 11, 2008 at 12:01 AM. Reason : .]

6/10/2008 11:34:09 PM

^Nothing of the sort has ever happened to me.

6/10/2008 11:36:18 PM

man, all i can say is wearing umbros in middle school. definitely had to make some mad dashes between classes.

6/10/2008 11:41:19 PM

lol yea i think my dick is longer than my umbros.

thank god i wear under armor briefs when i play soccer with messicans or else 'd get my ass beat. (there are usually a couple hotties that come play with us)

[Edited on June 10, 2008 at 11:45 PM. Reason : hottie = girls.......... not guys]

6/10/2008 11:44:31 PM

^^^then obviously, you dont know this

6/10/2008 11:48:44 PM

some chick that worked at a sex store told me that mexican men have smaller dicks than asians

6/10/2008 11:49:52 PM

hahahaha

6/10/2008 11:51:24 PM

Quote :

"Getting a boner in a speedo always calls for the tuck down because it would stick out of the waist band if pulled up"

how the hell do you tuck it down when you have a boner? my dick refuses to go downward when hard.

6/11/2008 11:57:21 AM

Quote :

"I wonder if she could tell Im hard right now, hmmm Yeah, come on, dance for me baby, ha ha, yeah Ut oh, you feel that? alright Come on, dont stop now You done did it, come on, uh, yeah, alright, hold on Baby when were grinding I get so excited Ooh, how I like it I try but I cant fight it Oh, youre dancing real close Cuz its real, real slow (you know what youre doing, dont you) Youre making it hard for me All the songs on you requested Youre dancing like youre naked Oh, its almost like were sexing (oh yeah) Yeah boo, I like it No, I cant deny it But I know you can tell Im excited, oh girl Step back youre dancing kinda close I feel a little poke coming through On you Now girl I know you felt it But boo, you know I cant help it You know what I wanna do Baby us dancing so close Aint a good idea Cuz imma want you now and here The way that you shake it on me Makes me want you so bad sexually Oh girl Now girl I know you felt it But boo, you know I cant help it You know what I wanna do I love when you shake it like that, ah, ah, ah I see that you like it like that, oh, oh, oh I love when you shake it like that, ah, ah, ah I see that you like it like that, oh, oh, oh I like the way you move Youre making me want you Oh the way you move I like those things you do But youre a little too close"

6/11/2008 12:02:37 PM

^ i wondered the same thing myself. And if you tuck it down doesn't it stick out of the side

[Edited on June 11, 2008 at 12:04 PM. Reason : i guess it can't lay that flat]

6/11/2008 12:03:39 PM

6/11/2008 12:05:39 PM

I was taking Scuba diving classes last year, and popped some under water wood in my wetsuit. What was funny, was one of the women in my class noticed a pointed it out to her friend.

6/11/2008 4:14:48 PM

she wanted it, b.

6/11/2008 4:19:01 PM

^I guess you can say, I was trolling, lol

6/11/2008 4:20:47 PM

lol, very good scuba steve

6/11/2008 4:24:12 PM

That must've been some warm water, damn. My peen gets so small in water I laugh at it when I take a leak after getting out.

6/11/2008 4:27:49 PM

Quote :

"Wrestling matches during middle school usually resulted in someone getting a boner. I never had to wrestle a girl but I've seen guys pop boners when wrestling girls they were always embarrassed and the girls were grossed the hell out."

someone told me that if they catch you getting a boner it's the wrestling equivalent of a technical foul

6/11/2008 4:31:49 PM

Quote :

"with the speed of a million ninjas"

Needs to be on this page, too.

6/11/2008 4:32:54 PM

^^it used to be commonplace in really old school wrestling. I think you had to penetrate the dude to win your match or something. It was a TKO if you came. (Ok, I made the last part up.)

BTW, I just did a search to substantiate my claim. I would not advise of doing so yourself.

[Edited on June 11, 2008 at 4:44 PM. Reason : t]

6/11/2008 4:39:42 PM

My gf and I almost got caught about a half hour ago.

6/11/2008 6:00:31 PM

I was sitting in class today and thought about this thread and sure enough I began sporting a boner.

6/11/2008 6:01:41 PM

I used to get them all the time on the Wolfline. Annoying as hell. I really don't get them anywhere else, but the vibrations and fumes apparently mixed to form a boner-enducing concocktion.

6/11/2008 6:05:20 PM

i get em on the leg abduction machine...on purpose

6/11/2008 7:12:59 PM

quite...... interesting? not sure if that's the word I was looking for...

6/11/2008 7:26:10 PM

I'm impotent

6/11/2008 7:30:04 PM

the abductor machine really shows off the total package

6/11/2008 7:35:28 PM

Quote :

"Wrestling matches during middle school usually resulted in someone getting a boner. I never had to wrestle a girl but I've seen guys pop boners when wrestling girls they were always embarrassed and the girls were grossed the hell out."

what fucking planet has girls wrestling

6/11/2008 8:13:55 PM

All I can share as far as boner stories is that when I get one I either:

Close my eyes for a few seconds and kind of meditate. It's kind of hard to explain but there's a part of my brain I can "tap" and feel a boner go away.

or

I picture Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream and recite her lines to myself.

6/11/2008 8:29:34 PM

oh man

riding the train gives me super boners


so here's a boner story:

I get super wasted and end up crashing at my lesbian friend's place. I wake up on my back in the morning with a fucking tent revival in my pants and she's looking at it. She looks at me and doesn't say anything. Then we both start laughing. Now when we're drunk at the bar, from time to time, she tells all of the ladies that I've got a huge cock.

6/11/2008 9:08:24 PM

6/11/2008 9:46:38 PM

Saw a great one recently through a pair of basketball shorts...NICE.

Funny:
I roll over one more and reach over for my then boyfriend (now husband's) package. It was wide and incredibly hard. Blown away I run my hand up it and say, "dear God you feel huge today" to which my husband replies "that's my wrist". True story.

6/11/2008 9:48:10 PM