Quote :

"I have said something to him even indirectly"

There is your problem. Quit being passive aggressive. Say to him "dude, you keeping your window open when the sun is beating down into your room is why it's so goddamn hot up here. Put some blinds or a shade up and keep your windows closed while we have the A/C on."

You don't even have to be an ass about it. Just tell him.

4/22/2009 12:30:57 PM

Quote :

"all you guys are always complaining about your roomates.... if I can afford to live by myself Pat, i KNOW you can...and problem solved!"

Yeah but I don't want to live alone. Moving in end of summer with Bryan and Tim, this living arrangement was just temporary. When I first moved in/checked the place out they put on a pretty good act of being decent human beings (okay one is).

This hell will be done with quite soon...

4/22/2009 1:02:06 PM

Quote :

"There is your problem. Quit being passive aggressive"

I think you misinterpreted my post there is nothing passive aggressive about this. "even" as in to complement or add too. I have directly told him to shut his window when its warm outside but I have ADDITIONALLY indirectly hinted. Until it is truly hot a liability i.e. 85F 90% humidity there is not point in flipping out about the subject.

We have already had some roommate arguments about other topics so its more of picking my battles.

[Edited on April 22, 2009 at 1:20 PM. Reason : k]

4/22/2009 1:18:17 PM

I'm glad you've got it resolved Pat.

Quote :

"And don't worry Stephen, I'd never fuck with someone's car. "

I believe that! You are so much nicer than I am (no homo), and even I wouldn't mess with someone's car...

4/22/2009 3:53:42 PM

Opening your windows while running AC in the summer is a sure way to build up moisture in the walls. You can create a mold problem in no time, corrode your wiring, etc. It's a health and safety hazard.

4/22/2009 8:21:36 PM

I like the landlord, he's a really cool guy. When I told him I was moving out and why (this was for his courtesy only since I never signed a lease) he understood. However, given the state of the house I'm surprised he isn't doing anything about it.

4/22/2009 9:35:44 PM

Quote :

"and judging by what your house looked like, I can believe every word of it..."

ummm agreed. every time i walk in the house, i always say to Pat that i don't know how he lives there.

4/23/2009 5:25:26 PM

I am getting owned so bad. My roommate's sister got evicted (landlord fell behind on mortgage payments) and so I said it was okay for her to live here until she found another place. Almost a month later, she is still here. All of her shit is in our living room and she sleeps on our couch. So I can't have people over.

She is so messy. She uses pots and pans and doesn't clean them; peels carrots and leaves the shavings in the side of the sink with the disposal--seriously, just put it in the drain and flip the switch; LEAVES OUR APARTMENT UNLOCKED (she has yet to make a copy of our key!); leaves her clothes wet in the washer for days until they smell like ass; has rusted my expensive knife set all to hell and loads up the trash until shit is falling out of it and the bag is at the bottom.

I haven't said anything yet because I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but I am getting really angry. I am tired of coming home after class and work to my apartment being a fucking pigsty. I have never had a situation like this before and am wary of confrontation so I really don't want to have to have this talk, but I can't take it anymore. She leaves for work around 9 in the morning (my roommate and I are long gone by then) and I usually don't get home until 6-8 at night so the door is left unlocked all damn day.

[Edited on April 24, 2009 at 6:11 PM. Reason : ]

4/24/2009 6:05:27 PM

^ Time to speak to your roommate to get him to confront his sister about it.

If they're a pain in the butt about it, go to the landlord and tell him what's going on and that you need to break the lease. Find somebody else on craigslist or tww to move in with that meets your standards for sanity, cleanliness, and so on.

You do nothing and you're likely gonna come back one day to find all your shit stolen/trashed.

4/24/2009 6:40:05 PM

After I confronted my roommate's sister about the unlocked doors, she promised me that she'd get a key and that it would never happen again.

The door was not only unlocked tonight, but left slightly open. Letting anyone in or letting my pets out! I am so irate that if I spoke to her right now I wouldn't be able to control myself. I am at my wit's end. This is so damn disrespectful!!!! I can't imagine staying in anyone's apartment FOR A MONTH, not offering to help with bills, and leaving the door unlocked all the damn time! She still hasn't gotten a key!


[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 10:21 PM. Reason : ]

4/29/2009 10:16:58 PM

Pay me $10, and I'll say everything you need said, and convince her it's in her best interests to either act like a respectable human, or GTFO.

[Edited on April 29, 2009 at 11:08 PM. Reason : I'm only half kidding ]

4/29/2009 11:08:20 PM

Do you want cash or check?

4/29/2009 11:31:31 PM

you need to put your foot down, the only person that's gonna get hurt by your anti-confrontational nature is you

tell her she's got two choices: get a key immediately, start locking the door and cleaning up after herself, and help out with rent

OR

the next time she comes home from work she'll find all of her things on the side of the road and all the doors locked (since she doesnt have a key anyway)

4/30/2009 10:17:19 AM

^yep. You have to be tactful when you are dealing with your roommates. You don't have to be tactful when you are dealing with an ungrateful moocher. You have all the cards. Try being polite at first, but if that doesn't work just flip out and start throwing stuff off the balcony.

4/30/2009 10:25:47 AM

Get her a key yourself. Yes, you should not have to waste your time and money (though it's like $2) when she could do it herself, but if she's leaving the damn place unlocked at all hours and won't do it herself, I would think the peace of mind would be worth it.

4/30/2009 10:30:25 AM

Quote :

"you need to put your foot down, the only person that's gonna get hurt by your anti-confrontational nature is you tell her she's got two choices: get a key immediately, start locking the door and cleaning up after herself, and help out with rent OR the next time she comes home from work she'll find all of her things on the side of the road and all the doors locked (since she doesnt have a key anyway)"

i completely agree with this. the situation is out of hand and you need to put your foot down now.

4/30/2009 10:38:07 AM

Quote :

"She is so messy. She uses pots and pans and doesn't clean them; peels carrots and leaves the shavings in the side of the sink with the disposal--seriously, just put it in the drain and flip the switch; LEAVES OUR APARTMENT UNLOCKED (she has yet to make a copy of our key!); leaves her clothes wet in the washer for days until they smell like ass; has rusted my expensive knife set all to hell and loads up the trash until shit is falling out of it and the bag is at the bottom. I haven't said anything yet because I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but I am getting really angry. I am tired of coming home after class and work to my apartment being a fucking pigsty. I have never had a situation like this before and am wary of confrontation so I really don't want to have to have this talk, but I can't take it anymore. She leaves for work around 9 in the morning (my roommate and I are long gone by then) and I usually don't get home until 6-8 at night so the door is left unlocked all damn day. "

ya agreed with above; sounds like u need to have a talk to your roommate to deal with this.

A friend of mine had a similar situation where his roommates girlfriend acted like it was her apartment. Spoke to the roommate
who had no idea of the issues and problem taken care of. Probably best go this route first but if that does not work than
you should tell that bitch whats up. I can not believe though, espicially a chick, would act in such negligence and lack of respect.
I feel bad for her that she got the boot from her lease due to her landlords negligence but sounds like she is some real trash from the
way she lives though.

Honestly i would not be surprised if she actually got the boot from her landlord and the foreclosure thing is just a lie to get sympathy.

4/30/2009 11:35:01 AM

Quote :

"who the fuck takes a nap in the main room at this time of day?"

That's tough shit for him, its 7:50 I'm making as much noise as I want.

4/30/2009 7:50:13 PM

ugh

[Edited on April 30, 2009 at 7:50 PM. Reason : k]

4/30/2009 7:50:13 PM

bttt

by the way speaking of worthless roommates.....

Roommate #1:

two weeks ago left to go study abroad in italy or some shit. Luckily he leaves a rent check but what he doesn't mention is that the electricity has not been payed for the last two months and the next bill is coming soon (BTW i gave him a check for March and April so I'm guessing he just pocketed April). Luckily i decided to open his mail one day while he was gone to check to see how much electricity was for the last pay period. What do i find????

That Progress Energy is shutting off the power in two days if we did not pay the minimum due amount of $144.

Roommate #2: So roommate #1 is the OCD neat person in the house. so he either cleans our mess or I'll fill extra motivated to clean my shit to not look slobby. Not that I am really messy to begin with but I usually follow a 24 hour rule for dishes and cooking gear. So while he's in europe not paying the power bill just roommate #2 and i are here.
Since then my place has gone down here. I work all day and roommate two sits around smoking pot while playing WoW all day; yet I somehow find more time to clean than he does. I do not expect him to be "maid" of the house since he sits here all day but in my opinion there is absolutely no reason he can not fill his share or match what i do.

Currently clean dishes sit in the dishwasher, he started the dishwasher, but i have unloaded it the last two times. Our garbage bin and recycle bin sit out front. Within the past three weeks it has NOT been taken out once; and the two times it has was been me doing it. The least he could do it take it back in. Also, as far as trash goes i think i'm on 3+ for taking out the main trash; even after some chicken shit he made stunk up our entire downstairs.
Lastly there is the bathroom. This week at some point will be the 3rd time in a row i've cleaned this. Roommate two sometimes wipes down the sink and scrubs the toilet; but never scrubs the bathtub. I think i could live with him just doing the former if he actually cleaned the sink and toilet on a monthly or so basis.

[Edited on June 30, 2009 at 6:20 PM. Reason : l]

6/30/2009 6:06:01 PM

...um, tell roommate 2 to clean?

6/30/2009 9:34:18 PM

as an update he did haha. guess he got tired of looking at the mess and gave up on me cleaning it

6/30/2009 11:18:33 PM

Wow, all my pent up hostility towards my shitty roommate gets somewhat alleviated by reading about all your shitty experiences.

Funny, though, how all of these terrible roommates seem to be so similar. Mine is EXACTLY like some of those descriptions and at least similar to all of them.

My shitty roommates new trick: I let him drink the tea and kool-aid I keep around (because it's cheap as hell and I like it). But the rule is, "If you drink the last cup, you make more." What does worthless roommate do? He drinks one of them until there is just enough in the bottom to make half a glass, and then switches to the other and repeats. And I have a brita water filter, and he'll switch to that one (which he never refills, EVER, even though it's super easy). So I come home from work one night around 7 and thirst...ily(?) empty out all three of the containers. Seriously? I used to do that shit when I was 13, but we're almost 23 now.

How long can these people live like this? Is it gonna be like, "Oh, I'm 30 now, but it's still ok for those clothes to just stay on the floor. I can do the dishes next week. These pants still smell ok..."

Ridiculous

7/7/2009 10:12:14 AM

AstralEngine said:

Quote :

"Funny, though, how all of these terrible roommates seem to be so similar. Mine is EXACTLY like some of those descriptions and at least similar to all of them."

Wow, yeah, who'd've thunk it? People who share a living space experience frustrations common to those sharing a living space!

It really makes ya think!

7/7/2009 10:41:16 AM

I bet if a few of y'all "responsible" folks got together and lived as roommates, every one of you would still find something to bitch about.

7/7/2009 10:54:20 AM

^ well there would be still bitching but the amount would be much less i believe.

7/7/2009 11:17:21 AM

There would be bitching. It would just be over even pettier things.

7/7/2009 11:31:29 AM

Quote :

"He drinks one of them until there is just enough in the bottom to make half a glass, and then switches to the other and repeats."

When I was a co-op at Sony Ericsson this was a problem with our Swedish Coffee club. My philosophy was if I was going to take the time to
create a fresh pot of coffee for drinking the last cup; than I'm dumping my old shit out to get a cup of the new.

7/7/2009 12:46:43 PM

I guess I just thought the worlds lazy assholes would all be uniquely annoying and unhelpful, instead of all being annoying and unhelpful in EXACTLY the same ways.

7/7/2009 3:41:18 PM

werds of wizdom #1: No matter how worthless your roomate is, you're the one that chose to live w/ someone. just use the edge dressing as discussed previously or plaster posters of nude males in the common areas

werds of wizdom #2: People are idiots. Especially other people.

7/7/2009 4:04:47 PM

living with many many roommates for many years, I can say that living with roommates is generally less about their problems, and more about your ability to live with others. There can definitely be some nightmare situations where that isnt the case, but sometimes you just have to adapt.

7/7/2009 4:20:57 PM

I wonder, how many of you with these worthless roommate problems knew them before you decided to live together? I went pot luck with roommates before now and I have had great experiences every time. Once I decided to live with a guy I know, he turns out to be a douche bag (as far as living with is concerned)

7/7/2009 4:23:14 PM

yeah, Ive had tons of pot luck, with screening, and have never run into a true nightmare. Made some of my best friends this way.

7/7/2009 4:59:11 PM

Same here. My best roommates were people I met over internet ads, with no prior acquaintance.

7/9/2009 11:07:05 AM

I live with 2 other people in a house. One of them is utterly worthless and I'm trying to figure out what to do about it, so of course I came to TWW for insight. Here's the background about the roommate

-he pays rent relatively on time, same with utilities
-he signed a lease through the end of July
-he contributes NOTHING to the house
-never buys any common supplies (trash bags, paper towels, sponges, soap, etc.)
-never does any chores (take trash to dumpster, take dumpster to street, vacuum the floor/carpet, clean the toilet [I have my own thank God], doesn't throw away his old food [instead it rots away, literally].
-he wastes electricity at will: leaves lights on, ceiling fan on, TV on when nobody's home, and leaves the refrigerator door cracked all the time
-occasionally the toilet runs, he doesn't fix it so it wastes water all night
-he turns up the heating thermostat and doesn't tell anyone
-when he cooks with our pots/pans he takes forever to clean them. He's scratched plenty of Teflon pans with metal forks, and damaged one of my pots (which then magically disappeared).
-he doesn't know how to properly lock the front door with the deadbolt.
-he leaves his clothes all over the place downstairs (I have no idea why he strips late night while watching tv)
-he leaves food exposed and uncovered in the fridge
-he never runs or empties the dishwasher, but has no problem cramming dirty dishes in there when its already run and all clean.

I confronted him about almost all of this a few weeks ago and now he won't talk to me (this guy's almost 23, btw). He hasn't really changed any of his habits. I want to throw him out of the damn house. I'm moving into another place end of July and actually am not on the lease, but have nowhere to go in the short term. My other roommate, who's lived in the house for a while basically has final say and I told her to talk to the landlord and kick this guy's ass out. But I don't think she'll bother. I'm not sure what to do at this point.

9/14/2009 1:34:50 PM

so, he's on the lease, you're not, and you want to kick him out?

9/14/2009 1:36:55 PM

^ basically.....

did you read my post? i mean, I'd be a fool if I didn't try to get him kicked out!

9/14/2009 1:41:04 PM

^^very true, and it'd really only be a huge inconvenience for me b/c I'd have to pack. Would never happen though b/c 1 he has no balls and 2 landlord likes me more. Otherwise not a big deal. My other roommate isn't happy either. I mean the place is a mess. I apologize to friends when they come over, and some of my other roommate's friends won't even come over at all.

^No I won't do that. Plus I have a dog here and I don't want him taking anything out on him.

9/14/2009 1:44:31 PM

I just came home and tried to talk to him, to no avail. He was watching TV in the other room. I am now in the kitchen making noise and making dinner and then prepping food for a camping trip this weekend. He's now trying to take a nap in the other room with the lights off, instead of going to bed. Incredibly odd.


Oh, and that spaghetti is still on the counter, and now moldy, lol.

9/14/2009 1:49:18 PM

i mean, i understand you motivations, i just don't foresee it being very successful

9/14/2009 1:55:23 PM

I got home from dinner with a friend around 9:30pm Friday night. Both roommates' cars were in the driveway, the front door was unlocked, and the TV was on in the main room. Further investigation revealed that the back door was open (not unlocked, literally open). Was anyone home? OF COURSE NOT. And keep in mind I have a dog, who was at home, and thankfully did not get curious and walk out the door.

I went away for this entire weekend and got home around 12am last night. The front door was unlocked, and every single window on the ground floor of the house was fully open. Was anyone home? NOT A CHANCE.

WTF, should I just buy a sign that says hey robbers come here and post it on the front door?

This is fucking ridiculous.

9/14/2009 5:49:21 PM

Quote :

"I live with 2 other people in a house. One of them is utterly worthless and I'm trying to figure out what to do about it, so of course I came to TWW for insight. Here's the background about the roommate ::all the stupid shit done by roommate::"

Dude, I feel for you. I'm not surprised at all to you guys have all had similar experiences to my own in the past 1.5 years. I bought my current place in January '08, and got three guys to room with me. Now I'm getting married and booting 2/3 out, with the 3rd (younger brother) leaving in December...

... and all I have to say is THANK GOD ALMIGHTY!!!

The main thing I've learned from being a landlord is this: No one respects your stuff as much as you do. You treat your own stuff a lot better than other people do, b/c hey, it's YOUR stuff. Roommates are no different. They don't have to clean common areas. They don't have to buy common house supplies. They don't have to take out the trash, or avoid scratching your pots and pans, or to check in with you before inviting people over.

Here's some tips to consider when making rooming/housing decisions.

1) Choose your roommates CAREFULLY. A lot of issues can be avoided if you choose roommates that prefer things to be clean, don't leave messes, generally respect common space, and above all recognize that how they live impacts how YOU live. If you find quality people to be roommates, a lot of issues become far less of a problem.

2) When you're the landlord and set the rent, include in the rent $$ figure the following items (if at all possible):

- utilities: hunting down checks for monthly utility bills SUCKS. Save yourself the hassle.
- common house supplies (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, etc.). Again, it's less hassle.
- cable/TV/Internet

3) Talk to roommates ahead of time about chores, house rules, etc. It's tedious, time-consuming, and at times it feels like you're treating your roommate like a pre-schooler. DO IT ANYWAY. If you don't, then your roommates can always play the ever-aggravating "But you never said I had to do this this and this!"

Being lax about house rules is an easy trap to fall into. Most of us still have that old college mentality of "Geez dude lighten up," and "Quit acting like my Mom/Dad." We let that mentality keep us from laying down concrete, enforceable rules. And let's face it, having to do that SUCKS. However, dealing with roommates is where you figure out why your parents (for example) had all those stupid rules.

4) Have as few roommates as possible. Take it from a guy who up until recently had 3 roommates. More roommates = more variables = more potential for ISSUES. For me, yeah the extra rent is nice, but my place has looked like an absolute dump ever since I got it. I don't like to clean, but having three extra guys there meant there was always dirty dishes out, the carpet was always dirty, and the laundry room was a fucking disaster area. Even if I tried to keep it clean it would still look like a damn mess.


There's more, but that's all I can think of right now.

9/14/2009 6:00:05 PM

Quote :

"I'm ... actually am not on the lease"

Then why are you still there? GTFO and dont look back. He wants to be an ass let him. Nothing you can do about it.

Maybe rob the place a week or so after you leave when they continue leaving the windows open.

9/14/2009 6:45:29 PM

are you assholes talking about me?!?!?

9/14/2009 10:47:56 PM

Quote :

"he leaves his clothes all over the place downstairs (I have no idea why he strips late night while watching tv)"

Masterbating probably!

That is a WORTHLESS roommate though.

Quote :

"Oh, and that spaghetti is still on the counter, and now moldy, lol."

put that shit in his bed, yo

I seriously think some people grow up in a barn. I am not the cleanest guy but i abhor wallowing in my own filth and will even grab
the mop bucket to tidy up for parents or the g/f.

Quote :

"2) When you're the landlord and set the rent, include in the rent $$ figure the following items (if at all possible):"

the only bad thing with that is you eliminate any sort of upper cap on electricity/water as if i didn't have to pay for those I'd waste
a shit on more. I guess its a gamble

Quote :

"3) Talk to roommates ahead of time about chores, house rules, etc. It's tedious, time-consuming, and at times it feels like you're treating your roommate like a pre-schooler. DO IT ANYWAY. If you don't, then your roommates can always play the ever-aggravating "But you never said I had to do this this and this!""

agreed. i told my g/f after complaining about a bunch of shit her roommate did the 1st fucking week of living together
that she needed to call this bitch out and set the tone. Otherwise this bitch is going to settle into her ways and it'll be
lots of heartache in the long term.

9/15/2009 12:02:15 AM

Quote :

""2) When you're the landlord and set the rent, include in the rent $$ figure the following items (if at all possible):" the only bad thing with that is you eliminate any sort of upper cap on electricity/water as if i didn't have to pay for those I'd waste a shit on more. I guess its a gamble"

Yeah I can see that, but it's aggravating to compute the utilities each month. I've found that shitty roommates don't tend to change their habits even if they pay them month-to-month.

9/16/2009 8:03:16 AM

mine aren't worthless yet, but one of them melted a commemorative NCSU cup i had by putting it in the bottom of the dish washer.... bear in mind they are both MD's....

one of mine does this:

Quote :

"he doesn't know how to properly lock the front door with the deadbolt."

i really don't know why other than laziness getting out the door

[Edited on September 16, 2009 at 9:47 AM. Reason : x]

9/16/2009 9:46:14 AM