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 Message Boards » » Dating a waitress/waiter/bartender Page 1 2 [3] 4, Prev Next  
DivaBaby19
Davidbaby19
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I know I couldn't

[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 1:09 AM. Reason : page threeeve]

11/4/2010 1:09:33 AM

Joie
begonias is my boo
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Quote :
"Long story short, don't try to seriously date a bartender. They have that job because they can't commit to a normal life and just want to party/flirt/fuck all the time."


woah woah woah. i almost take offense to this.
you people need to stop generalizing

11/4/2010 6:28:51 AM

twoozles
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you ALMOST take offense

11/4/2010 7:00:54 AM

Joie
begonias is my boo
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yes. i did at first and then i realized....... meh

11/4/2010 7:01:55 AM

thegoodoctor
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11/4/2010 7:54:03 AM

Jeepin4x4
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Quote :
"On a side note, has anyone here ever asked out a waitress while they were serving you and had it work?

"



A girl i know used to be a waitress and her husband and a few of his friends would come in to her bar every week on the same night for drinks. He jokingly asked her out on a date each week for a year and she finally said yes. They dated for two years and got married this summer. So it can work





oh and i may go for it regardless of advice ITT. twas a good night last night.

11/4/2010 7:57:21 AM

thegoodoctor
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^ do it. Plenty of people who work in the food service industry are normal. Most of the people I know do it as a side thing, or are working there until they can find a job in their field since the economy and their degree let them down haha

11/4/2010 8:00:00 AM

sumfoo1
soup du hier
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I couldn't handle a girl that knows she gets paid more if she fliers with all her clients. I'm too jealous of a person . Then again I'm dating a girl in a field that's only 10% women and only 1 percent of them can you tell is a woman without launching an investigation so I'm sure she's gonna get hit on incessantly.

11/4/2010 8:03:37 AM

ThePeter
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Quote :
"Also, what is it about waitresses that makes men think they are easier than non-waitress women to bang?"


Because guys are fucking retarded, and think that every waitress that flirts with them is really, really into them. Then when they ask the waitress when she gets off work and the girl goes "oh I have to work extra tonight, I'll be here until about 2am" they love it...and stay all night.

11/4/2010 8:31:56 AM

Metricula
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Getting hit on while at work is generally annoying but there are ways that it's fine.

If there's a customer (a regular) who comes in and smiles back at me and treats me like an actual person instead of a dipshit robot, I'm much more likely to hang out with them after work. I've made quite a few crossover friends from coffee shops and even gone on dates.

But generally I recommend against it unless the server/bartender/barista/cashier shows interest first. Like, if there was someone I wanted to be friends with I would give them my full name so they could facebook me and "talk about books".

I'm not offended when people try to get my number as long as they aren't keeping me from doing work or following me home or something or trying to pet my teeth. I just laugh it off and cry a little on the inside

11/4/2010 11:36:23 AM

Jeepin4x4
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yeah i'm not hitting on her while she's at work. she was a waitress first but has since become a friend, i can't even remember the last time she's actually waited on me.

so thankfully i'm not the skeevy loser trying pick up lines on her while she's trying to earn a living.

11/4/2010 11:48:35 AM

joe_schmoe
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"trying to pet my teeth"


wat?

i say you just made that phrase up.

11/4/2010 11:58:33 AM

eleusis
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Quote :
"The same bartender who is cheating on you with the general manager at the restaurant would be blowing the vice president of the bank if she got a job as a teller.
"


bank tellers don't stay out until 5AM every night getting drunk and and skied up.

11/4/2010 12:15:55 PM

joe_schmoe
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you can not compare vice presidents of banks to restaurant managers.

bankers tend to be more conservative and careful about their associations than restaurant managers. their entire careers can be ruined by a single indiscretion that gets out of hand, whereas the even most abusive restaurant manager that gets fired will just go get the same job at a different restaurant.

fact is, restaurant workers from managers and supervisors on down, tend to be stocked with people who have loose moral standards, less assets to lose, and tend to engage in risky personal behaviors.

now, i'm not saying everyone in restaurants; there are career-minded responsible students and family people working a second job or between jobs. but the average 20- or 30-something veteran waiter or bartender, is someone who does not exactly have their life "together"

11/4/2010 12:46:19 PM

Pikey
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This thread is racist.

11/4/2010 12:47:32 PM

jbrick83
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This

Quote :
"bank tellers don't stay out until 5AM every night getting drunk and and skied up."


and this

Quote :
"bankers tend to be more conservative and careful about their associations than restaurant managers. their entire careers can be ruined by a single indiscretion that gets out of hand, whereas the even most abusive restaurant manager that gets fired will just go get the same job at a different restaurant.

fact is, restaurant workers from managers and supervisors on down, tend to be stocked with people who have loose moral standards, less assets to lose, and tend to engage in risky personal behaviors.

now, i'm not saying everyone in restaurants; there are career-minded responsible students and family people working a second job or between jobs. but the average 20- or 30-something veteran waiter or bartender, is someone who does not exactly have their life "together"
"


Is where I'll just have to throw it out...you guys have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. I'll give you a little credit and say, there is a slightly higher percentage of restaurant people doing things you guys are mentioning, but it's small. Ya'll are taking your experiences with just a couple of people, or you're noticing the small number of loud, coked-up restaurant workers as opposed to the large number that went home early.

And this is from experience. I worked in a bar in Charleston where if you walked into the bathroom around midnight, it was like a fucking powder room. Who was 90% of our clientele?? Doctors, lawyers, business execs, real estate moguls, politicians, etc. The person's house everyone would go over to after the bar closed and party til sun the came up?? That's right, the chief anesthesiologist at the downtown hospital. If there were thirty people there, maybe three of them were bartenders, the rest professionals.

There were a higher percentage of kids in my law school class that stayed coked up all the time than in the restaurant industry...and same goes for the med students I knew.

I think perception is clouding your reality a little bit.

[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 1:07 PM. Reason : .]

11/4/2010 1:05:45 PM

eleusis
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^perception is clouding reality for you more than anyone else in here. Why do professionals go to bars to do coke? Because the coke dealer is operating out of the bar. Why is the coke dealer operating out of the bar? Because the bar staff allow him to operate out of there since it's convenient for them. That's how almost every bar in Raleigh is.

If you think business professionals are the biggest users of coke in this country, then I feel sorry for you.

11/4/2010 1:09:10 PM

Pikey
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All restaurant workers are always flashing their ballsacks and vagina lips to each other. Stretching them all out so you can see how veiny they are. All of them. Every single one of them does this.

It can be pretty off-putting.

11/4/2010 1:10:12 PM

iheartkisses
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^^ I think it depends on the profession. Attorneys and medical device sales people have a tendency to be heavily into coke. That said, certain personality types tend to gravitate toward those fields. Type A, competitive personalities. Personalities that "benefit" from cocaine usage.


[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 1:16 PM. Reason : .]

11/4/2010 1:13:01 PM

jbrick83
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Quote :
"If you think business professionals are the biggest users of coke in this country, then I feel sorry for you."


Didn't say they were the biggest, but they are equal to, if not more than, the restaurant industry.

Quote :
"perception is clouding reality for you more than anyone else in here. Why do professionals go to bars to do coke? Because the coke dealer is operating out of the bar. Why is the coke dealer operating out of the bar? Because the bar staff allow him to operate out of there since it's convenient for them. That's how almost every bar in Raleigh is."


Dealers sell drugs where their target market is. If everyone was doing coke and going to watch the movies, then they'd be at the IMAX every weekend. People do drugs, drink, and socialize...that's why they're at bars. And it's not the bar's job to police that shit...you couldn't even if you tried.

11/4/2010 1:13:45 PM

Jeepin4x4
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i don't like the road this thread turned down. i want to hear more stories about bat-shit crazy waitresses

11/4/2010 1:23:16 PM

pilgrimshoes
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i could share some of those

11/4/2010 1:25:01 PM

pilgrimshoes
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i could share some of those

11/4/2010 1:25:02 PM

Jeepin4x4
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share some of these

11/4/2010 1:25:48 PM

pilgrimshoes
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here's one

one time i got too drunk and left my car at the bar in order to walk home. left with a different girl (not the bartender/waitress)

i was way hungover, so i didnt walk down to pick it up until like 3pm, well after she had come in to start serving the lunch crowd

i get to the car, and realize the car door was unlocked, and everything in the car was neat and in order, vacuumed and armor alled. i haven't cleaned my car since the day i got into the wreck and stopped caring about it. it's usually a disaster.

she broke into my car, cleaned it, did all the windows, organized my things (rifled through and snooped im sure), drug a vacuum out from the bar on an extension cord, vacuumed it, and left little notes all over the car

we were not dating, but i'd hate fuck her when i couldnt find better.

this was not the only b&e instance

[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 1:31 PM. Reason : e]

[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 1:31 PM. Reason : e]

11/4/2010 1:30:44 PM

Toms House
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My friend TKE-Teg briefly dated a Saucer waitress. It didn't end well.

11/4/2010 1:31:56 PM

Biofreak70
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I heard he couldn't hang

11/4/2010 1:33:16 PM

Pikey
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I got my first blowjob from a bartender.

11/4/2010 1:34:36 PM

Jeepin4x4
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lol, are we talking about the waitress that slept over and then spazzed out on him the next morning and never spoke to him again?



lol pshoes..was that in Raleigh or Delaware? I don't know if i would be angry or what about that. it's so strange

11/4/2010 1:40:47 PM

jbrick83
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My ex-gf (bartender) went into work one night and someone told her that I was starting to see someone else (a girl she hated, so that didn't help).

When she was informed of this, I was at a comedy show with my current gf and had my cell phone on silent. I see my little red light blinking, just thought it was one missed call, or a text, or maybe an email or two. We went straight to a bar afterwards to meet some friends and I forgot to check my phone. Well my current gf went to the bathroom and I remembered to check my phone. The ex had called me 10 times and left about 20 text messages (and several voicemails of course). She just went nuts. Apparently she was so distraught that she had to leave work. She also got on facebook (I know...very mature) and found the girl I was dating and sent her a pretty nasty message, talking a little bit of shit about me, but mainly calling that girl a "whore" and a "cunt."

I honestly felt pretty bad about the whole thing. I had a pretty serious relationship with the ex, to where she wanted us to live together, and was planning a future and all that stuff. But for certain reasons, I just knew it wasn't going to work out in the long term so I had to break it off. So I gave her a pass on being upset...I just got mad that she got the other girl involved.

Not too "crazy" of a story...but I've always dated pretty sane girls, and even in tough break-ups, I've never had someone go off the deep-end like that.

11/4/2010 1:46:40 PM

TKE-Teg
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"lol, are we talking about the waitress that slept over and then spazzed out on him the next morning and never spoke to him again?"


yeah, that's who he's talking about. she also got nail polish on my PSU hoodie that I let her borrow.

WTF

11/4/2010 1:47:18 PM

joe_schmoe
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"jbrick83 : I'll just have to throw it out...you guys have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. I'll give you a little credit and say, there is a slightly higher percentage of restaurant people doing things you guys are mentioning, but it's small. Ya'll are taking your experiences with just a couple of people, or you're noticing the small number of loud, coked-up restaurant workers as opposed to the large number that went home early."


yeah, bullshit.

I've worked a ton of restaurants, starting when i was 16. from unique upscale dining establishments, to local greasy spoons, and various mid-level chain restaurants in between. Ive washed dishes, cooked, expedited, waited tables, and tended bar.

at least half the people who work in restaurants are fuckups. alcoholics, dopers, felons, uneducated single moms with 5 kids by 5 dads, playa dudes with 5 kids by 5 moms.

at least half the managers I've known were drunks, dopers, felons, or some variant of the 50-year-old loser perv who leverages drugs to get in the pants of 20 year old girls (or boys).

the other half (if that much) were normal people who it was obvious were only working restaurants as a means to an end (college, 2nd job, etc) and had no intention of becoming some veteran or lifer type of restaurant worker.

whereas the losers continue to work restaurants because it allows them to get fucked up all night and sleep all day, and never challenges them to ever be any better. I will give them this: at least they're working. But it's clear they could never hang on to a "normal" job that would allow them to rise above basic subsistence living punctuated by periodic intoxicated binges.

and i'm sorry if you're still waiting tables at age 27, and feel like you have to justify it.





[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 2:15 PM. Reason : ]

11/4/2010 1:52:03 PM

NyM410
J-E-T-S
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At my age I wouldn't want to. Whatever but it wouldn't fit in with my preferred lifestyle.

[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 1:54 PM. Reason : Repetitive post is repetitive]

11/4/2010 1:53:08 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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Quote :
"she broke into my car, cleaned it, did all the windows, organized my things (rifled through and snooped im sure), drug a vacuum out from the bar on an extension cord, vacuumed it, and left little notes all over the car"


That's the sort of person who would pull an Annie Wilkes on you

11/4/2010 1:55:34 PM

jbrick83
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Quote :
"I've worked a ton of restaurants, starting when i was 16. from unique upscale dining establishments, to local greasy spoons, and various mid-level chain restaurants in between. Ive washed dishes, cooked, expedited, waited tables, and tended bar.

at least half the people who work in restaurants are fuckups. alcoholics, dopers, felons, uneducated single moms with 5 kids by 5 dads, playa dudes with 5 kids by 5 moms.

at least half the managers I've known were drunks, dopers, felons, or some variant of the 50-year-old loser perv who leverages drugs to get in the pants of 20 year old girls (or boys).
"


I'm pretty sure I could place which "misdeed" with which restaurant you're talking about. Of course you're going to have a bunch of fuck-ups working at Dennys or whatever "chain restaurant" or "local greasy spoon" restaurant you worked at. Just like you're going to have a ton of fuck-ups working at low-end retail stores of whatever bottom of the food chain job there is.

The higher you go, the less shit of that you find. And at places where people do it and make a good living, you will find just as many fuck-ups (dopers/drunks/pervs) in the professional world than you will in a nice restaurant/bar.

11/4/2010 2:06:17 PM

frugal_qualm
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I work nights a lot (manager at a fancy hotel) and it definitively affects my relationship. He stays up for me to get home some nights, but there are some 4-5 day periods where we don't speak to each other except for 30 minutes on his lunch break. This usually ends badly, and nothing ever gets done around the house. Weeks of day shifts make up for it, except then I'm asleep on the couch at 8:45 since I'm getting up around 4:30.

11/4/2010 2:07:09 PM

joe_schmoe
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Quote :
"The higher you go, the less shit of that you find. "


yeah, whatever, obviously you have very limited experience .

i've worked fine dining and upper-end steakhouse chains, and the only difference between them and the average TGIFridays or Darryl's is the quality of the coke is better.

11/4/2010 2:12:50 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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Quote :
"i've worked fine dining and upper-end steakhouse chains, and the only difference between them and the average TGIFridays or Darryl's is the quality of the coke is better."


Yeah that sounds about right

11/4/2010 2:14:35 PM

jbrick83
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Quote :
"i've worked fine dining and upper-end steakhouse chains, and the only difference between them and the average TGIFridays or Darryl's is the quality of the coke is better."


I wasn't specifying coke. I'm saying you won't find the felons and mom's with 5 kids working your high-end restaurant. Everyone does coke.

[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 2:15 PM. Reason : .]

11/4/2010 2:15:03 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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Quote :
" I'm saying you want find the felons and mom's with 5 kids working your high-end restaurant."


Yes, yes you will. They're just better about keeping their personal problems to themselves (sometimes).

11/4/2010 2:16:08 PM

joe_schmoe
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^^ ah, you're crazy. you've got felons and drunks and dopers and indiscriminate breeders at every level. the nicer places, they just dress up better and can speak in complete sentences.





[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 2:18 PM. Reason : ]

11/4/2010 2:17:36 PM

Tarun
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its all about the how big the tip is!

11/4/2010 2:18:43 PM

jbrick83
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Quote :
"you've got felons and drunks and dopers indiscriminate breeders at every level."


You could say that about pretty much every business operating. Only excluding felons because of background checks (which half the restaurants in my city do, so that's why you can't find them here).

That's what I'm trying to get through your thick heads. They actually hide it better (and dress nicer of course) in companies because that's not the environment for that shit to be out.

I'm not going to stop you from having your misguided opinion. I've done restaurants at every level (the high level for the past 5 years) since I was 18 and had the "regular" job for the past 2 and a half years. I'm just saying that there's as much blow being passed around and spouse cheating going on at the state Bar (legal, not restaurant) function than there is at the restaurant after-party.

11/4/2010 2:24:10 PM

wolfpackgrrr
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Well shit yeah if you're comparing waitstaff to lawyers, I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out the same amount of miscreant behavior is exhibited.

11/4/2010 2:26:20 PM

jbrick83
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Quote :
"Well shit yeah if you're comparing waitstaff to lawyers, I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out the same amount of miscreant behavior is exhibited."


I know a ton of med students/doctors too!!!

11/4/2010 2:29:41 PM

eleusis
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Quote :
"I wasn't specifying coke. I'm saying you won't find the felons and mom's with 5 kids working your high-end restaurant. Everyone does coke.

"


42nd street's entire kitchen staff is out on work release. They hire them for the tax break. A lot of other high end restaurants do the same. And no, not everyone does coke; but you work in a restaurant so your perception of everyone around you makes you think that.

[Edited on November 4, 2010 at 4:16 PM. Reason : James Blackburn, the US Atty convicted of forgery, fraud, and embezzlement, waits tables there]

11/4/2010 4:12:06 PM

begonias
warning: not serious
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good people to date: the people who work in restaurants/bars to pay for school, get extra cash, start their own restaurant, etc

not good people to date: "restaurant people" - if you've worked in one, you know what I'm talking about

11/4/2010 4:50:17 PM

richthofen
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To go sort of back to the original intent, it can be good or bad. I'm gone from 7:30 AM to 6 PM every day, and my girlfriend works 4 or 5 nights a week as a server. So there's only one weeknight where I ever see her before about 10 to 11 PM, and when she gets home she's usually pretty tired and doesn't want to do much other than hang out. On the other hand, the restaurant she works at closes at 10, so unless she goes out with her co-workers (rare) she's home early enough that we can at least talk and hang out so it's not like I don't see her, and she's not scheduled weekends so unless she picks up a shift, we're together on the weekends. It can be good because on the nights she's not around I can monopolize the TV/go hang out with friends/be lazy and not feel bad about it, and she can sleep in and has some alone time during the day. And I'm a night owl so even if i have to be up at 7 I don't usually go to sleep before 1 so we still see each other. If I was the type to go to bed at 10:30 every night it would be different.

Though it's perhaps a different situation than a "professional server" because, while she is 29, she was working a full-time job until she got laid off earlier this year, and is planning to go back to school in January so working nights is a pretty perfect situation while taking classes during the day. Part of the reason she doesn't go out all the time with the rest of the staff is that's not the life she wants--drinking every night and having no ambition. And we've been together for long enough that I don't have any trust issues whatsoever, but of course that can't apply to a new relationship.

11/4/2010 4:53:32 PM

jataylor
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ive dated a couple 'restaurant people', learned my lesson

11/4/2010 4:59:17 PM

Mr. Joshua
Swimfanfan
43948 Posts
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set em up

11/4/2010 4:59:57 PM

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