8/13/2014 11:59:09 PM

yayyyy I got one

Quote :

"last week i had a bad lapse in judgement. i slept with my friend's long time crush, in my friend's bed, while they were passed out at another friends house after a party. to make it worse i went to the crush's place the next night to fool around a few more times. i don't think that my friend will ever find out, both parties agreed it was pretty messed up in the end and that this was just a one time thing. "

8/14/2014 11:59:26 AM

That shit is ratchet.

8/14/2014 12:06:49 PM

Wait, you slept with the crushee in the crusher's bed...or in the crusher's friend's bed?

Why does the curshee feel bad? It doesn't sound like he/she wants the crusher.

Also despite the lack of any identifying pronouns, I'm going to guess the confessor is a lady.

8/14/2014 12:14:14 PM

you don't talk to your buddies about your and your friends' crushes?

8/14/2014 3:17:16 PM

Quote :

"So, I recently started a new job. After starting this job, I realized that I needed a new coffee mug so as to not hurt our wonderful environment by constantly using paper cups. Naturally, I sauntered off to the local Walgreens, and bought a mug. One minor problem. I didn't realize that I bought a mug that said "world's greatest dad." My boss saw me drinking from this mug, and said, "I didn't know you had kids!" "Just one," I replied. I don't have any kids. I just blurted it out instinctively. Now, a less adventurous soul would have come clean. Not me, though. Turns out, having a fake kid comes with some pretty sweet perks. I get to leave work early every Tuesday and Thursday for soccer practice. A regular parent wouldn't. But, I'm the coach, and my team of at risk youths needs me. I'm not just a coach, but the closest thing to a father figure these fake kids have. We went 8-2 last season. Not bad. Hour long lunch break? Yeah, maybe for the rest of you suckers! My fake kid got called into the principles office with an upset stomach. There must have been some peanut butter in the school lunch today (my fake kid has a peanut allergy). Stay late for a deadline? Sorry, can't. Karate practice on Wednesday (my fake kid is kind of a pussy, and has a fake bully). Anyway, I thought I'd feel terrible about this, but I totally don't. Nobody questions me. Nobody wants to accuse the single father. It's hard enough raising a fake kid on your own, especially after his fake mother died from fake leukemia. So for now, I'll just keep this gig up. And if I get caught, I don't give a fuck, I hate this job at this shitty non-profit, anyway. I'm trying to get paid, not help underserved students get a proper education. But I think it'll last a while. And if someone recognizes the framed picture of a young Haley Joel Osment sitting at my desk, whatever...I'll just go back to my old job as an investment banker. No sweat off my back."

[Edited on August 20, 2014 at 1:24 PM. Reason : hj]

8/20/2014 1:21:37 PM

man that confessor is trying it's hardest to pull off a Slave Famous impersonation.

8/20/2014 1:32:15 PM

8/20/2014 1:41:28 PM

So obviously fake. Not sure if the "confessor" here is just trying to be funny or legitimately thinks we'd believe that.

8/20/2014 2:23:30 PM

Either way it's a fail.

8/20/2014 2:27:01 PM

dafuq i just read.

8/20/2014 3:10:38 PM

Quote :

"I hope that you keep this confidential, and don't judge me."

you're a shitbag

Quote :

"One night I was supposed to take care of my son while my ex wife was away. I proceeded to by three bottles of wine and a movie. I put the movie on, and before my son was in bed I drank one bottle. Halfway through the next bottle, he started getting sleepy, So I thought that it was a good idea to finish the second bottle and then put him to bead. I put him to bead and then drank a beer, and then of course I went to the toilet and puked everything up. By the time that my ex was there to pick up my son, I just remember waking up on the floor next to the third empty bottle. I quickly pushed the bottle underneath the sofa and acted like nothing was wrong, but I feel absolutely terrible for what happened, and since then I have regimented my drinking to just two days during the week."

gee. I wonder what alcoholic on tww is also a super attention whore about getting a divorce.

8/20/2014 3:40:06 PM

Banjoman??

8/20/2014 3:45:05 PM

Quote :

"I put him to bead"

8/20/2014 3:46:28 PM

OH SNAP

also yeah...you totally fooled her by pushing the bottle under the couch dude

8/20/2014 3:52:52 PM

Yea, hiding one bottle will keep her from ever knowing about your alcoholism.... Riiiiiight

8/20/2014 4:13:49 PM

what a spelar.

8/20/2014 4:24:25 PM

dude has a PhD

8/20/2014 4:40:49 PM

...And poor decision skills

8/20/2014 4:52:33 PM

Quote :

"proceeded to by"

8/20/2014 4:56:19 PM

Quote :

"I'm a pretty big liberal (would probably be called a pinko commie by most average people in NC), but I feel like the political correctness and word policing is in this country & many other first world countries is to the point where it's causing more harm than good. Can't say this to other liberals b/c then I'm a bigot who hates anyone that's not a white male. Can't say it to conservatives b/c then they think I agree with them on other insane shit they believe"

8/20/2014 10:59:33 PM

^ bill maher is firmly in the same boat. He hates any type of censorship (for obvious reasons) and sensitivity.

8/20/2014 11:09:58 PM

Quote :

"One night I was supposed to take care of my son while my ex wife was away. I proceeded to by three bottles of wine and a movie."

I'm sorry, is this a lesbian couple with a kid? What man sits down to drink 3 bottles of wine?

8/21/2014 8:53:14 AM

I could probably put down about a bottle and a half before I switched to something else...and I love wine.

8/21/2014 9:23:21 AM

Was at a wedding that served only wine once & I (along with many others) definitely put down more than 3 bottles along with a few flasks floating around. The flasks caused the most damage

[Edited on August 21, 2014 at 10:10 AM. Reason : But yeh, I'd never just pound 3 bottles solo on a random night]

8/21/2014 10:09:40 AM

Confess to me.

8/24/2014 12:15:47 PM

Or me!

8/25/2014 10:44:30 AM

tell me something good

8/25/2014 10:59:19 AM

I was first.

8/25/2014 11:13:49 AM

3 bottles of wine? Shit, gotta be economical and just go for the box

8/25/2014 12:38:05 PM

Quote :

"I pissed the bed last night."

9/22/2014 6:29:48 PM

Quote :

"tell me something good"

9/23/2014 3:10:11 PM

Quote :

"I recently finished a message-exchange on okcupid with a woman whom I really, really liked. She's my age, attractive, professionally accomplished (she's a sort of upper-echelon librarian in the state library), and extremely well-read and smart. I fucked it up in the following way. The two of us had been exchanging messages on alternate days, for like 7 days running. But then when it was her turn for the third or fourth time, she didn't reply. And she continued to not reply on the next day, too. So on the third day of her not replying, I messaged her saying, "Hey, I'm really disappointed you've stopped writing. I liked you a lot. In fact, I was very proud to be messaging you, pathetic as that may sound. Anyway, my plan was to ask you out for coffee today. So despite the fact that you've dropped off the face of the earth, I'll do that anyway. Would you like to get coffee?" She writes back and she's like "Dude, I've just been busy for a couple days, I wasn't abandoning you." Then we exchange a couple more messages, and eventually she says "I've decided I don't want to meet you. For one thing, you're not ready for a relationship. Also, it would be unhealthy for me to date someone who constantly expected the worst from me. You should pursue therapy and try to like yourself. You deserve to be happy, like everyone else. Best wishes." This really sucked, because she seemed like a fabulous chick. But on the other hand, what she said was totally correct, and it was high time I learned (or at any rate internalized) it. I DO always expect the worst from everyone. And if I were to date anyone right now, I'd just be using heras self-validation device, a way of propping up my weak psyche and making myself feel like I'm an okay person. I'd be trying to fix my emotional problems with a fellow human being. Which would be shitty and inconsiderate. So I've signed up for therapy, and we'll see how that goes. But the lesson I took (and am taking) from this life-incident is that even though I totally fucked it up with this awesome chick, and even though on the more general scale I have low self-esteem and am always ready to believe that anyone in my acquaintance dislikes me - even though these things are true, they don't make me a bad person. I'm an all right person, in fact. I'm just fucked up in the psyche for various reasons. But there's hope of me being happy, as I once was. And I'm going to try hard to get there. Damn right. It feels kinda good to confess this (although it's also scary, even though it's anonymous). Also, FWIW - I'll mention this principle even though everyone else on this board probably learned it a long time ago - don't ever write the relationship off until you're sure the other person is truly done with you. And don't expect the worst from people...oftentimes they're not pissed at you/disgusted with you at all, despite appearances. Okay, I'm done. "

9/24/2014 8:01:47 AM

damn jaZon, it gets better.

9/24/2014 8:18:46 AM

aaaahaha

9/24/2014 8:25:44 AM

sounds like a snooty bitch.

or someone that's just looking for peen and you're being too slow and musy.

9/24/2014 9:05:27 AM

That mix of making the worst assumptions, acting like you deserve a response from her on your time frame instead of hers, juvenile hyperbole, and self-deprecation would have made me turn around too.

9/24/2014 9:14:01 AM

her response is so librarian it hurts. i bet her horned rimmed glasses fogged up from the steam blowing out of her ears while she was writing that.

9/24/2014 9:14:42 AM

Quote :

"That mix of making the worst assumptions, acting like you deserve a response from her on your time frame instead of hers, juvenile hyperbole, and self-deprecation would have made me turn around too."

I had an earily simlar instance happen after a Tinder date with a guy. We met for coffee, and he texted me later to ask if we could meet again on another day. I didn't respond immediately and he decided to tell me that, "it was nice knowing you," but I must still be interested in other guys since I hadn't answered his message, I was obviously not interested in fostering what we had.

She handled it much nicer than I did. I just told him he was an ass. (which he then called verbal abuse and BLOCKED me)

9/24/2014 9:57:05 AM

Wow, since when did guys become so needy? UGH!

9/24/2014 10:00:12 AM

I haven't given up, NCSUHippie. I WILL have you



In all seriousness, I think that it is a razor thin line between showing interest in a lady and smothering her/ being an overbearing, emotionally attached creeper. Oh, and that razor thin line moves depending on how cute you are.

[Edited on September 24, 2014 at 10:05 AM. Reason : srs biznass]

9/24/2014 10:01:10 AM

man some people are impatient, and weird.

9/24/2014 10:23:24 AM

To be fair...in our current world, instant responses are almost expected. Almost everyone is attached to a phone or computer at all hours of the day, so it's easy to let the mind wander when a response isn't given.

Not to give excuses for the way these people are acting...I just think it magnifies their shortcomings. 10-15 years ago they might have patiently waited by the phone and had negative thoughts....yet when the other person called back they would be relieved, their doubts diminished, and everything would be fine. These days they sit and stare at an empty text box and their inadequacies get the best of them.

9/24/2014 10:33:03 AM

I purposefully wait 2-14 hours after receiving texts before responding as to not foster the expectation of immediate response.

9/24/2014 10:37:33 AM

^^ I hate that expectation. I have recently been dealing with someone who sends me a "hey" or similar content-free message every time I check Facebook on my phone (I guess that makes me "active" in messenger, which I have since deleted) despite me telling them several times that I have absolutely zero desire to constantly chat on Facebook or drop what I am doing to talk to them. And we haven't talked in years. Please don't act like I owe you a constant conversation.

9/24/2014 10:44:18 AM

I made an extremely short list of people who I'll talk to on Facebook, none of whom ever bother me.

9/24/2014 11:04:48 AM

i view texts as a continuous and ever on-going conversation. So i don't have to know if you are going to bed or turning your phone off for the night or whatever that may be. I don't need closure to every brief conversation that I have. Obviously if we are an item and chatting before bed that's different and a good night is usually standard.

and even though the phone is beside me i tend to have delayed responses. usually because my hands are tied or i don't want to get sidetracked. So i probably make people mad for not replying immediately.

9/24/2014 11:06:32 AM

Quote :

"That mix of making the worst assumptions, acting like you deserve a response from her on your time frame instead of hers, juvenile hyperbole, and self-deprecation would have made me turn around too. "

my ex has these traits-- always assuming the worst all the time. I'm guessing librarian girl has been through that before.

Quote :

"To be fair...in our current world, instant responses are almost expected. Almost everyone is attached to a phone or computer at all hours of the day, so it's easy to let the mind wander when a response isn't given. "

The problem isn't that he asked for a response, if his text was just "hey wassup" or something like that, it would have been fine. It's that he subtly guilt tripped her (i'm really disappointed you...) and then subtly insinuated she was being intentionally dismissive (despite the FACT that you've dropped off the earth). In a relationship context, that's a pretty horrible message to send someone.

At that phase in the relationship, he shouldn't even say "i know you've been busy..." because that implies if she wasn't busy, she owes him a text, which isn't the case. The only thing he should have said was "how're things going" or something equally short or simple that doesn't presume what the other person was thinking/doing.

9/24/2014 12:00:23 PM

^RIGHt!

9/24/2014 12:02:54 PM

^^ I didn't say what he did was right, I was just giving an explanation. He obviously has issues, and with our current technology and mindset for instant gratification, those issues came out full bore.

[Edited on September 24, 2014 at 12:08 PM. Reason : .]

9/24/2014 12:08:08 PM