He is needy?

9/24/2014 12:25:18 PM

girl starts ignoring guy. guy notices and doesn't know what to say. girl continues to ignore him, and eventually snaps at a message that, while needy and pathetic and off-base for okcupid, is not mean.

clearly this dude is a douchebag!

9/24/2014 12:53:48 PM

I am really bad about messaging people back and responding to texts when I get busy. Some people have a lot going on and its hard to keep track of minor things.

An interaction with someone you are not in a relationship with is a minor thing. Deal with it. You're not important to her. She has a job, friends, family and all of that comes before you. She probably gets 10000 message on okcupid a day, and its probably a hassle just to even go through and delete all the "Hey whats up?" messages to even see that you replied. Give her the next one space dawg.

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

9/24/2014 1:11:03 PM

the truth is, he "really really liked" this girl after just chatting on okcupid. ain't no way that was going anywhere.

9/24/2014 1:41:59 PM

lol

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

9/24/2014 1:49:06 PM

Quote :

"damn jaZon, it gets better."

lol - I doubt I've carried on a conversation with anyone up there long enough to get that far

Sounds needy as shit, though - Even by my standards.

[Edited on September 24, 2014 at 7:20 PM. Reason : ]

9/24/2014 7:18:27 PM

I don't think it's a neediness issue.

Whoever wrote that is just way too self-involved.

I can relate.

9/24/2014 11:56:53 PM

I'm sure someone's been naughty over the past month or so. Get it off your chest.

11/10/2014 11:10:23 AM

Confess to me

11/22/2014 9:45:06 AM

Quote :

"I was arrested as a teenager. Like, hardcore arrested. I had a cop rush my car, put his gun to my head (seriously -- like 6 inches away from my temple -- never point at something you don't intend to shoot, we're often told), threaten to shoot, drag me out, slam me down, and handcuff me. I went to court. I was doing something stupid. Not dangerous to other people, by any means, but destroying property. It was worse than stealing cigarillos. Worse than jaywalking. But not much worse. It was really just a prank, and I got caught. I was 18. I was a punk kid getting into senseless trouble. I didn't really think about the repercussions all that much. I'm still alive. I'm a full grown adult now. I have a job. A career. The kind of job that everyone tells their child that they can be when they give them the "you can be anything you want when you grow up" speech. I went to college. I went to grad school. I pay my taxes, I volunteer, I recycle, I vote. I'm white. I often wonder what would have happened to me if I wasn't. If I were darker. If I had said the wrong thing. If I had flinched. If I had rolled my eyes. If I had nervously reached for my wallet (remember, there was a loaded gun pointed directly at my stupid head by a cop who looked like he played OLB in highschool while telling me repeatedly that he "wasn't fucking around"). If I didn't move my hands the right way. If I were bigger, or if I appeared more menacing (i.e. blacker). Would that have been an immediate death sentence? It never occurred to me at the time that I may have been killed, but looking back on it....was this cop really qualified to determine whether or not I was a lethal threat that needed to be put down? Is any one person qualified to make that determination? What if I had done any of those things? I was a pretty good kid. But there were also pictures of me, I'm certain, looking like a punk with my friends. Painting a portrait of me as a "thug" --- well, wait, we don't call white teenagers thugs --- a "troublemaker" wouldn't have been very difficult. And what would have happened to the cop? The cop who told me, in no uncertain terms, that he could throw me in jail to be butt-fucked by hardcore thugs (I swear to god he said this to me). Would there have been an investigation? Would he have been justified? Would every single teenage antic of mine have been scrutinized and dissected in a very public manner to excuse his judgement call? Thank god none of that happened. But what if I was black?"

11/30/2014 6:17:43 PM

^moron or thegoodlife3

11/30/2014 9:32:15 PM

The white guilt is strong with this one.

12/1/2014 12:18:05 AM

I never went to grad school, i don't volunteer, and I don't recycle.

(also not white)

And my 1 interaction with a white New York City police officer involved watching some brown kids squirt water on him, and throw an unknown red powder at him, which he responded to by chasing them around while laughing jovially.

:shrug:

12/1/2014 2:13:37 AM

Quote :

"...so I'm banging this chick last night (we've been dating for a couple of months). I've really cracked the code on her-I had her so wound up that she had basically a continuous wave of orgasms for about a half hour, and afterwards, she was still so sensitive that I could just brush her with my hand and make her come again (she has to lay on the bed for a bit when we're done, and then stand still beside the bed before she tries to actually walk.) All of that is pretty much par for the course with her now. Well, after that, she walked across the room to the bathroom, and not long after she stepped in, I heard her breathe in sharply and take a few quick breaths, and see her kinda make a face and contort her body again. I don't know if it was the cold tile against her feet, or just spontaneous and for no particular reason, or what, but she had another orgasm in there. It had been probably a couple of minutes since we'd finished having sex by this point, haha. The funniest part is that when she did, it squeezed all the semen out of her, all down her leg, all the way to her ankle, hahahaha."

12/1/2014 6:08:44 AM

if there was ever anything that'd convince me to wear a rubber, watching that would do it

12/1/2014 7:18:53 AM

so what was the confession? that you don't have any real friends to tell this to?

12/1/2014 7:56:47 AM

^ c'mon we all know that was you.

12/1/2014 8:17:39 AM

I, too, have had sex

12/1/2014 8:31:45 AM

Quote :

"I slept 17 hours the other day "

Was hoping for something racier than that.

12/1/2014 8:50:28 AM

Quote :

"^ c'mon we all know that was you."

i wish!

12/1/2014 8:55:48 AM

Quote :

"if there was ever anything that'd convince me to wear a rubber, watching that would do it "

really?

12/1/2014 9:48:27 AM

yeah i didn't quite understand that

12/1/2014 10:36:01 AM

i'm real glad to see that this shit is still happenin'

carry on

12/1/2014 6:17:05 PM

yeah unfortunately we're still waiting on school tool to be fixed

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

12/1/2014 6:20:55 PM

Quote :

"so what was the confession? that you don't have any real friends to tell this to?"

haha, you'd go tell all your friends about your girlfriend having a spontaneous orgasm while she was walking around and accidentally shooting your semen all the way down her leg to her ankle?

12/1/2014 11:10:53 PM

I mean, it's a hell of a story.

It's not like he hooked up with a tranny or something...

[Edited on December 1, 2014 at 11:45 PM. Reason : ^ definitely isn't a girlfriend situation too]

12/1/2014 11:45:28 PM

if it were me and my situation less this part

Quote :

"(we've been dating for a couple of months)."

i'd tell everyone. even the wolf web

12/2/2014 8:32:58 AM

that bitch was set on easy mode

12/2/2014 8:35:21 AM

^^ oh yeah i somehow missed that part

12/2/2014 9:07:19 AM

Quote :

"I have been dating this guy for a few months now. I'm not friends with him on Facebook but I have stalked his page and found his ex-girlfriend's page. I look at it periodically because it keeps coming up as a search suggestion and I find her mildly fascinating. I happened to click on it today and he has been on her page recently telling her that she is beautiful. Also coincidentally or not coincidentally he has been somewhat distant lately but says nothing is wrong. I don't really know what to do from here because I can't ask him straight out without admitting I was creeping. This is why I never sent him a friend request because my urge to e-stalk is too great. Help me TWW. I'm horrible at relationships if its not apparently obvious."

12/22/2014 10:20:49 PM

Your relationship is doomed There is no point sitting around and over analyzing it (even though it sounds like you already are). I see this situation going something like this: you don't say anything but its constantly in the back of your mind, one day you get in an argument because you are paranoid and he is distant, it blows up and you bring up that he is posting on his ex's wall, he gets pissed at you for creeping on him. Neither of you can trust the other person anymore and the relationship is too new to try "working it out".


Might as well create a tinder acct and move on with your life. Don't be sad though there are lots of other fish!!

12/22/2014 11:18:33 PM

Quote :

"I have stalked his page "

Totally normal.

Quote :

"his ex-girlfriend's page. I look at it periodically because it keeps coming up as a search suggestion and I find her mildly fascinating"

Really? Is that why you look at it? Blame it on Facebook!

Quote :

"I happened to click on it today "

Really? Did you happen to click on it today, or do you click on it every damn day?

Quote :

"Help me TWW."

Put that coffee computer down. Live in the real life.

12/23/2014 12:40:25 AM

Quote :

"This is why I never sent him a friend request because my urge to e-stalk is too great"

And look, if you've been "dating" this dude for a few months now, you should be Facebook friends. Not that those are my personal Rules of the Road, but it seems like you're into that shit so just do it.

12/23/2014 12:45:15 AM

Add him on Google+

Nobody uses it so he won't know

12/23/2014 1:41:48 AM

It's almost 2015, if you don't realize how Facebook posts work, you deserve to be caught.

Either he wants to get caught, or he's an idiot. Either way, I'm not sure there's hope...

12/23/2014 2:19:09 AM

I don't have a Facebook, but from my understanding, it's totally normal and acceptable to poke around on people's pages and whatnot.

Isn't it okay to just ask the dude if he's still into his ex?

And then when he asks why, you could say you've seen him on the page, complimenting the lady's looks.

If he's cool at all, he'll tease you for being silly and reassure you it's all good. Even if he's lying, you've officially broached the subject and made your first move. Then you can put off worrying about it for a little while and do some sex stuff.

[Edited on December 23, 2014 at 2:20 AM. Reason : ]

12/23/2014 2:19:46 AM

You know, you could always just be an adult and talk to him about where the relationship is headed and get a direct answer instead of trying to back-door your way into commitment. If he waffles, then you have your answer.

And if he's committed, then great (but you have to blow him after that -- I mean that's just good manners).


I'll never understand the amateur hour dot-connecting that goes on in painting an incomplete picture. Just use your words. Be blunt. You don't need to bring up the other bitch or compliment her looks or any of that fluffy horse shit. Just ask the prick if your wasting your time with him or not. You probably are, but at least you'll know. Boom, problem solved. You'll get an answer. And if he says the right thing to keep you hanging-on and is still fuckin' around publicly on the facebooks, then you'll know he's a bullshitter.

But for what it's worth. You're not in a relationship. You're just sleeping with someone who's just passing the time with you. As a result of your efforts to avoid being rejected at your proposal of a formal relationship, you've instead found yourself in a position where your unofficial "it's complicated" (or whatever the fuck you kids wanna call it) guy-friend is going to leave you as soon as he can secure a better option. Which he'll most likely do, because in his mind, you two aren't exclusive or long term (because you were too afraid to ask him to be).

[Edited on December 23, 2014 at 4:36 AM. Reason : ]

12/23/2014 4:24:32 AM

Quote :

"You know, you could always just be an adult and talk to him about where the relationship is headed and get a direct answer instead of trying to back-door your way into commitment. If he waffles, then you have your answer."

I was going to say something similar to this. Honestly though if he's still pining after his ex like that (and who doesn't become FB friends after a couple months of dating?) it's probably best to cut your losses and look for greener pastures. At this point, you'll always be wondering if he's thinking of/seeing/fucking his ex anyway...so why put yourself through that?

12/23/2014 8:59:10 AM

Quote :

"I'll never understand the amateur hour dot-connecting that goes on in painting an incomplete picture. Just use your words. Be blunt. You don't need to bring up the other bitch or compliment her looks or any of that fluffy horse shit. Just ask the prick if your wasting your time with him or not. You probably are, but at least you'll know. Boom, problem solved. You'll get an answer. And if he says the right thing to keep you hanging-on and is still fuckin' around publicly on the facebooks, then you'll know he's a bullshitter."

OMG THIS... All of it. And like the others users have said, do you really want a guy who leaves comments on his ex-girlfriend's facebook page? You deserve better than that BS, but only if you can do the above.

12/23/2014 9:27:30 AM

Quote :

"I'll never understand the amateur hour dot-connecting that goes on in painting an incomplete picture. Just use your words. Be blunt."

So, how far do you think that this goes in regard to everyday life. Because, I remember my friends and myself being pretty blunt with each other, but at my new location, people prefer to be passive aggressive and considering being blunt as impolite.

I ACTUALLY LOVE IT when somebody opens up and is honest with me. Even if they initially come off as being an ass. This is just a general question for TWW.

12/23/2014 10:56:47 AM

^^except the part where he uses "bitch" as a pronoun, right?

12/23/2014 11:11:58 AM

Guys, it's only been a couple months. There's no evidence that she wants to have some verbal commitment about what direction they're headed or that either of them could even make that kind of prediction at this time.

She just wants to know if he's still interested in his ex, and she doesn't know how to bring up that she has been "e-stalking" or whatever.

^^I'm not passive aggressive, but I've found I have to be overly blunt with people (in my opinion) because they are way too good at oblivion and denial.

^Seriously.

[Edited on December 23, 2014 at 11:13 AM. Reason : sss]

12/23/2014 11:12:59 AM

Of course she does. It's, as you said, been a couple of months. Which means it's just enough time where she probably is asking herself, "where is this going?"

Either she wants a full-blown relationship to form, or she wants the assurance that she can trade-up for something better that comes along. Right now she doesn't have either. That's why she's snooping around looking for a reason to preemptive strike. So she can spare herself the embarrassment of being ditched by a guy who never committed to her to begin with. Because the idea of ditching the little shit for being indecisive with her is more appealing/safe than asking for a relationship and being turned down (by a dude she's already fucking).


But I'm just a caveman. Your world frightens and confuses me.

12/23/2014 12:06:26 PM

Quote :

"She just wants to know if he's still interested in his ex"

I'll answer this. HE IS.

It's time to move on to a guy (or girl, I don't judge) that is more productive than pining away for his ex on facebook in his spare time.

12/23/2014 1:28:04 PM

I'm lso accepting any confessions you want to get off your chest before Santa gets here.

12/23/2014 1:37:30 PM

Quote :

"I really wish I didn't have to do anything for Christmas, at all. I used to kinda look forward to it, because it was a needed break from all of the day-to-day winter doldrums. But now that I'm older, and I really have never cared about the commercialism of it all... I'm so fucking over the holidays. I have a lot going on at work right now, and I have had fun stuff to do all year long, and I'm already looking forward to lots of stuff in the new year... Christmas is just kinda crimping my style this year. So while everyone else is enjoying family time (ugghhhhh), drinking eggnog, and opening gifts... I would much rather be at home working at watching The Good Wife. Maybe I can do that next year. "

A confession I can rally behind.

12/23/2014 2:29:25 PM

Just add booze

12/23/2014 2:33:33 PM

Quote :

"So she can spare herself the embarrassment of being ditched by a guy who never committed to her to begin with. Because the idea of ditching the little shit for being indecisive with her is more appealing/safe than asking for a relationship and being turned down (by a dude she's already fucking)."

There's nothing embarrassing about pursuing somebody and finding out they don't feel the same way about you or aren't in the same place as you. I mean, if you're really into the person and have spent a lot of time with them, it can hurt pretty bad, but it's not shameful or embarrassing.

We also don't know that the confessor is sleeping with the guy, but unless they've done something extra crazy together, it doesn't really matter either way...so I don't know why you're preoccupied with that particular aspect of her business.

Quote :

"I'll answer this. HE IS. It's time to move on to a guy (or girl, I don't judge) that is more productive than pining away for his ex on facebook in his spare time."

Even if he's still interested in his ex, it doesn't mean that they can't continue dating. If I cared about the guy, I'd be like, "Hey, stop getting drunk and telling your ex she's pretty and shit on Facebook. It makes me feel [blank]."


It's the holidays, y'all. It's time to enjoy each other!

And there are plenty of ways to gain clarity about a relationship without having a formal sit-down to hash out the precise details of your situation two months in.

12/23/2014 5:51:25 PM

Quote :

"Even if he's still interested in his ex, it doesn't mean that they can't continue dating. If I cared about the guy, I'd be like, "Hey, stop getting drunk and telling your ex she's pretty and shit on Facebook. It makes me feel [blank]." "

I dunno, maybe if you're in your early 20s still. I'd think by the time you're 30, you shouldn't have to do this, your guy should just 1) not be getting so sloshed he does something like this 2) even when he's sloshed, don't do those kind of things.

People make mistakes, but when it comes to relationship issues, this should be a pretty low expectation to have.

12/23/2014 6:07:41 PM

I was mostly joking about the drunk part.

12/23/2014 6:18:15 PM