Did you try to suck his dick to get out of the ticket, shoot? I hear some cops will let you off if you get them off.

11/20/2014 8:49:11 AM

I'm not a bitch.
But he said he wouldn't go with me to the court, which makes me very angry. He's like charge-and-run.

11/20/2014 9:10:38 AM

Are you a homophobe, shoot?! Hate gay people or something?!

Just what do you have against men sucking other men's dicks?

11/20/2014 9:17:06 AM

Homosexuality is not healthy. That's for sure.

11/20/2014 9:20:23 AM

Go on....

11/20/2014 9:21:01 AM

Quote :

"But he said he wouldn't go with me to the court"

what the fuck does this even mean

11/20/2014 12:38:53 PM

I've bought way too many sweaters this fall. I mean, you can't actually have too many sweaters but this extra cold weather coming in early has affected my spending habits

11/20/2014 2:00:39 PM

Quote :

"i'm just going to get myself a bottle of whiskey and sit down in front of the laptop and get that shit done."

Then your ceremony just might be highly entertaining.

11/20/2014 2:25:50 PM

peppa pig's dad is clearly an expert in everything. he just pretends to mess up for the sake of peppa's amusement.

11/20/2014 2:34:01 PM

I'm slowly becoming someone who dislikes craft beer, not as a whole but the fancier craftier beers.

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

[Edited on November 20, 2014 at 5:31 PM. Reason : and beer in general]

11/20/2014 5:30:38 PM

Why is this Garth Brooks thing such a big deal? He sucks.

11/20/2014 9:26:37 PM

4^ that goes without saying

11/21/2014 12:52:38 AM

saw a bunch of people crowded outside the gamestop just before midnight. what's that all about? hope they aren't waiting til opening and they get let in at 12

11/21/2014 1:07:40 AM

definitely a midnight release of something


google says smashbrothers 4? LOL. people fucking went to a midnight release for that?

11/21/2014 1:23:41 AM

Quote :

"peppa pig's dad is clearly an expert in everything. he just pretends to mess up for the sake of peppa's amusement."

He's clearly the only one is his office that does any kind of handwork. One guy stamps paper and one lady draws shapes on the computer.

And Daddy Pig does something like really complicated algebra

[Edited on November 21, 2014 at 8:35 AM. Reason : d]

11/21/2014 8:35:15 AM

omg. I set up the best thing ever for my bf's xmas present but........ now I have to wait until xmas to like....... tell him.

I AM SO BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS UGH

11/23/2014 4:04:03 PM

I am at work...alone...and I don't like it

I was in the middle of preparing the bestest roast chicken ever when my phone started blowing up. So now I can't wait to get home and cook my foods.

What should I have for dessert? Hmmmmm....

11/23/2014 4:11:28 PM

me too. this is a good day to bake and do a facial. It's been raining all day

what do you have at the house ( to make dessert)?



[Edited on November 23, 2014 at 4:36 PM. Reason : .]

11/23/2014 4:36:27 PM

Chocolate lava cake

11/23/2014 4:36:33 PM

I have no idea what the weather is like there, but you can never go wrong with after dinner coffee and a slice of pie (preferably ala mode). In the winter it's pretty much the best thing ever.

11/23/2014 4:42:16 PM

Pie!

Pie wins!!

Also Kurtis...I'm in the office instead of being on the trip to Maui THAT I PLANNED....so yeah . The Maui Invitational basketball tourney starts on Monday if you wanna hop islands and check out some action.

11/23/2014 4:43:50 PM

Yeah... I can't do that. I have to figure out a way to jam about a dozen 45 foot trailers worth of product into my store this week. Fucking fourth quarter man.

11/23/2014 4:45:43 PM

Quote :

"but you can never go wrong with after dinner coffee and a slice of pie (preferably ala mode). "

this is very true

11/23/2014 4:46:27 PM

It feels like something 1950s man in his suit and hat would say, but it's as true today as it's ever been.

11/23/2014 4:47:23 PM

Well that stinks

Now I have to decide what kind of pie I'm gonna buy...no time to make that shit.

Pumpkin/Sweet potatoe
Apple
Pecan

OH MY GAH CAN I HAS THEM ALL?

11/23/2014 4:48:18 PM

apple + van icecream

11/23/2014 4:59:02 PM

Apple pie is always a good choice!

I do have some Blue Bell Pecan Pumpkin Spice ice cream in the fridge

11/23/2014 5:02:21 PM

peach cobbler [insert 100 emoji here]

11/23/2014 5:03:05 PM

I got an apple pie last night, and it was dulicious!

11/24/2014 11:11:42 AM

I am so ready for lunch

I'm Krallum and I approved this message

11/24/2014 11:32:03 AM

flowers

11/24/2014 8:44:55 PM

I need to buy a ball gown, but I hate going out to stores during the crazy holiday shopping season. Blerg.

11/25/2014 8:42:26 AM

I'm going to the gym.

I haven't done this in a while.....

11/25/2014 9:05:10 AM

Well. eHarmony was a big ol' waste of money.

11/25/2014 9:39:24 AM

you're cute.

11/25/2014 9:46:02 AM

They completely rejected me back in the day.

I'm trying to avoid the office potluck Thanksgiving across the hall, but dammit it all looks so good.

11/25/2014 9:51:38 AM

I keep reading "Hiker took 5 photos of black bear before it attacked, killed him" as "Hitler took 5 photos of black bear before it attacked, killed him"

11/26/2014 3:40:17 PM

OMG this Hallmark movie is so cheesy. The acting, music, everything is just awful

11/26/2014 7:29:58 PM

I am fucking exhausted for no reason. And my head is POUNDING.

11/27/2014 12:06:00 PM

that awkward moment when.... you have to find a place to hide so you won't be forced to interact with your future-former-brother-in-law because you can't hold your tongue and don't want to upset your niece and nephew or cause him to retaliate against your sister and/or family.

please leave. you are not welcome here.

at least i have a drink.



[Edited on November 27, 2014 at 12:24 PM. Reason : but i also have a lot more cooking to do before 2pm and need to get to the kitchen grrrrrrrrrrkjlkds]

11/27/2014 12:19:43 PM

How to get them away from you?

[Edited on November 27, 2014 at 12:24 PM. Reason : ^]

11/27/2014 12:23:52 PM

Why do people think Jennifer Lawrence is so god damn hot?

I man, she's not fugly, but she's not THAT attractive, either.

You fuckers stuck in an office with office 7's all day?

11/27/2014 6:06:02 PM

hot=ass+boob+pretty face
And she's a blonde.

11/27/2014 6:08:37 PM

lol, can't argue with that

11/27/2014 6:24:30 PM

I bought 3 turkeys for my turkey fry tomorrow. My neighbor keep them in his freezer for me. Last Saturday I told them to take them out and put them in the fridge and they said they did. I went to pick them up today and they only took 2 out to thaw. The other one is solid as a fucking rock. FUUUUUUUUCKKK!!!!!

11/28/2014 9:59:24 PM

I think tdub voted that JLaw was uggs

11/29/2014 10:51:20 AM

i wish i could teach my family the art of the rsvp

11/29/2014 11:38:47 AM

I'm entirely too tired to shave. But I haaaate sleeping without shaving.

11/30/2014 8:51:09 PM

just grow a beard

11/30/2014 8:53:14 PM

Just blocked the number of the 12th piece of shit calling to say my loan application is approved

the one I never filled out

12/1/2014 9:41:36 AM