On another note.


I had a dream last night that I was doing a bunch of coke and shit with co-workers and it ended up with me in a white room sitting in a pool of tears and blood.


This shit is hitting me harder than I ever thought it would. These are the worst 5 days of my young life.

6/19/2006 11:06:57 AM

Grow some mother-fucking balls.

And go out and get some new poon. I've always found that to be the best way to get over an ex...and I've had a couple serious relationships.

6/19/2006 11:11:47 AM

Yeah, I'm workin on that.



asshat.

6/19/2006 11:18:19 AM

Having lunch with the ex-girlfriend does not equal "working on that."

More than likley you will get emotional and/or beg for her back (say what you want...but you will probably break down). Even if there is an opportunity for you to get her back, you will lose any upper-hand in that quest by being a bitch during this lunch meeting.

Cut your losses. Cancel the lunch and cease all contact. If your shit is that important too, get that from her as soon as possible, then cease all contact. If its not that important, then wait it out.

You're too young to be this depressed over a girl (I know, I've been there). But you won't realize it until later on down the road and you'll want to kick yourself in the face for acting like this.

6/19/2006 11:23:59 AM

Get some peace out pussy.

6/19/2006 11:29:19 AM

Quote :

"Why would you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you?"

someone please explain this to my ex. i kicked her out back in february, and still get the occasional email wanting to "hang out" and other dumb shit like "i still want to be friends, how can you throw away everything we had?" bitch if i wanted to keep you around i wouldnt have kicked you out, now would i?

6/19/2006 11:34:30 AM

It's not impossible to be friends with your exes. I'm still friends with mine (well, they never did anything like cheat on me or otherwise treat me poorly), but that initial separation period needs to be very strict in order to avoid possible "oh god please come back"s. I got out of the state for three months after I broke up with my last boyfriend (of 1 1/2 years). The distance helped.

6/19/2006 11:39:31 AM

Out of curiosity, don't you have any kind of sense of indepedence now? A few years ago, a relationship of ~4 years ended between myself and a girl, and although the reasons for break up was mutual, I was still pretty sad about it. I know the situation isn't the same and I still wanted to be with her, but I was still kind of excited that I would get to "play the field" after being off the market for a long time.

6/19/2006 11:40:37 AM

I'm friends with one ex because I still think she's cool and I like her as a person.

I'm not friends with another ex because I personally just don't like her and don't really like hanging out with her (nothing to do with our relationship).

It all depends. And yes, there is a period of separation that you need before you can get to the "friends" part.

6/19/2006 11:41:36 AM

Quote :

"I personally just don't like her and don't really like hanging out with her"

Then why'd you date her at all?

I've never dated someone I couldn't stand as a friend.

6/19/2006 11:43:19 AM

Quote :

"Out of curiosity, don't you have any kind of sense of indepedence now?"

I thought about that, recently. But I always seem to weigh the freedom vs. having her.


I mean really. I don't even know what it's like to date as a "single". I don't know any of the rules.

6/19/2006 12:01:07 PM

Its not that complicated. Don't be scared. And don't start "dating" right away anyways. Go out and have some fun. Shoot yourself before getting back into another relationship right away.

6/19/2006 12:15:44 PM

^^Just go get some ass. Don't worry about dating.

[Edited on June 19, 2006 at 12:16 PM. Reason : ^what he said.]

6/19/2006 12:16:03 PM

^^^Yeah I know the feeling. Shortly after that relationship ended, I went out with another girl up until January of this year. Since then I have actually been single and dated two girls (one of which I am still dating, but it isn't anything serious yet). It has been nice, but I still don't know any of the "dating rules" either, I just try my best.


[Edited on June 19, 2006 at 12:18 PM. Reason : ]

6/19/2006 12:17:25 PM

Quote :

"1CYPHER All American 693 Posts user info edit post I'm telling you folks, despite all the wonderful advice and great commentary, this comment will in the end be most profound Quote : "1CYPHER All American 675 Posts user info edit post There isn't anything anyone on this site can say that is going to help you. You are who you are, and you have to learn this shit on your own, the hard way. It's how we learned it." Six years, first real girlfriend, do any of you honestly think this guy has the "GraniteBalls" to man up and do this shit the right way? He's going to break down and cry like a little bitch right in front of her as she stands emotionless wondering when he is going to get the hell out of her living room so she can get to the new mans house for the deep dicking she's been waiting for all day."

6/19/2006 12:19:26 PM

Everyone is helping him, but yes, he is just ignoring it an caving.

Graniteballs, just man up and move on. Cancel the lunch date, and do something fun instead

6/19/2006 1:05:06 PM

"hey yeah, i forgot I actually have plans during that lunch date. I've just been so busy since we broke up!"

ha. that'd be great.

i think we're all just trying to live a perfect break-up vicariously through graniteballs, and it's already failed miserably.

6/19/2006 1:06:43 PM

what the hell is the perfect break up... does that even exist?...



YEA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.. Dont go to her... tough it out... let her come to you... she will come to you at some point... i am sure she wants to explain herself as badly as you want to know.

6/19/2006 1:48:35 PM

her already went to her so scratch that

6/19/2006 1:49:54 PM

I'm taking some of this advice to heart. I just felt like the conversation we had thursday lacked any sort of closure. It's hard to explain why, it just felt like she was crying too hard and it hadn't hit me yet, so neither of us explained anything.



I dont know about cancelling the lunch date...



Yeah, I called her first, but it was only because I didn't want to have some sort of stupid standoff to see who had/has more power over the other. I wanted to talk to her, like 2 normal people, to get things straight. Once that's done, I plan to have as little contact as possible. I understand the need to cut ties, but I don't want to burn the bridge before I finish crossing it. I'm not going to this lunch date to beg for another chance, just to reflect and confirm her feelings. Is that really wrong?

6/19/2006 3:31:14 PM

Keep picking the scab. Keep putting it on public display.

6/19/2006 3:33:57 PM

Keep picking the scab. Keep putting it on public display.

6/19/2006 3:34:36 PM

The publicity doesnt matter as much to me, since it's somewhat anonymous.


This kind of thing helps me think. It's going to be on my mind for a while regardless of whether or not I post on tdub about it.

6/19/2006 3:43:43 PM

Cancel the lunch. No good will come out of it and you'll just be more sad when the lunch is over.

6/19/2006 3:46:01 PM

at least ask her to bring your stuff to your lunch meeting

6/19/2006 3:50:00 PM

You don't need your stuff back. A wolf will gnaw its own leg off to escape a trap.

6/19/2006 3:52:56 PM

in reality you would know her better then any one on this forum. I don't think many of us can compare our short relationships, but I can tell you when Ive been dating a g/f and she gets all flaky on me like your gal did and dumps yah, the solution is to make out with a hot chick. I thought I was like all into this one chick then I totally hooked up with some random girl I didn't know existed and I felt much better. It was like instant satisfaction as well. I know some people on the forum are like 'oh man stop being a baby blah blah'. They are sort of right!, in the fact that you will feel so much better once you tap some fine Carolina ass. Just get your friends to be like NEW ON THE MARKET after 6 years!!, I guarantee some chick will at least give you her time of day, she probaly loves the fact that your so loyal! Go forth upon the world, you are 22 and man (note: if you want to get a girl back posting it on a campus forum is probaly one of the worst ideas I ever heard of, I laughed really hard for about 3 minutes straight before eating this delicious candy bar mmmm)

6/19/2006 4:00:44 PM

^that nigga crazy

6/19/2006 4:02:32 PM

^^ what the fuck

6/19/2006 4:05:28 PM

look

if you are this into her, dont hang out with her anymore

b/c eventually, you are going to find out about her new man

and that will just make everything worse


this is the way you need to think:

SHE MIGHT ALREADY BE FUCKING SOMEBODY ELSE

with that thought, you know you will never get back together and so there is NO reason for some bullshit lunch date. anything you talk about is going to have that awkward undertone of hurt from you and you will slip up and say something that makes everything worse.

get with some good friends, go out, find some slut

6/19/2006 4:09:28 PM

Quote :

"what the hell is the perfect break up... does that even exist?..."

Yes. He looked at me and said "I don't think we should date anymore." I agreed. We stopped dating. Basically no emotional fuss whatsoever.

seanx820:
ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK TYPE IT?

rwoody is right- once you hit friend zone, you're automatically putting yourself out there to discuss her new relationship(s), if any. And you'll hate that at this stage. It's extremely possible to keep her as a friend later, BUT NOT NOW.

6/19/2006 4:13:19 PM

Wow, if breakups were like that I'd break up with people every day.

6/19/2006 4:34:58 PM

Quote :

"I laughed really hard for about 3 minutes straight before eating this delicious candy bar mmm"

BWHAHWHAHHWHAHA

6/19/2006 4:36:52 PM

^hahahaha made me lol too

6/19/2006 4:44:15 PM

Graniteballs, just man up and move on. Cancel the lunch date, and do something fun instead

You aren't going to get ANY closure from talking to her. it's going to end up being an argument over something fucking stupid, you are going to get your feelings hurt even more and you will just be more pissed off and confused than you already are

Just dont show up, or call her and very shortly say you cant make it

6/19/2006 4:58:53 PM

Hey you remember when PartyChris would make this thread like every week?

6/19/2006 5:01:41 PM

This will be my only thread on the matter.


suspend me if I make another.

6/19/2006 5:22:04 PM

Quote :

"I mean really. I don't even know what it's like to date as a "single". I don't know any of the rules."

It's as fun as you make it. Dating is just like riding a bike..if you get out of practice, you stumble at first but then you remember how it was and get back into the groove.

6/19/2006 7:52:00 PM

Quote :

"I know you all suggested that I not call her first, and you may have been right, but I just couldn't stand not being able to call her. We've dated for so long, and we've talked almost every day of that time. Sure, I've gone longer than 2 days without talking to her, but the fact that I WASNT SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HER, made that time seem like forever. I dunno, I feel like this is all somehow my fault. You guys don't know her, but all this seems so out of character that it's bizarre. She was always the one hinting at marriage, I couldn't get her to stop talking about having kids, she was the one that always talked about getting old together. I feel like it was my attitude that pushed her away. I always joke around about marriage in front of people, and dismiss the idea of children. It was all in jest, but I never took the time to tell her I was just as excited as she was, behind closed doors. "

Dude, listen very closely to what I'm about to say. I've said everything you just said above verbatim(well, maybe not out loud, too much pride) Cancel the lunch meeting. Because that's what it'll be. A cold meeting. Which is out of character for the woman who once loved you, so it will break your fucking heart and you'll beg like a dog.

If you do ignore everyone here and meet her, here's what you should say. "I always had a good time with you." "I just want you to be happy." and "Take care of yourself." Oh, and "I need my stuff back." The whole time you need to have a smile on your face and act like you're still the most content man on the planet. Consider your position now: she just wants to let loose and have some fun with interesting people(not necessarily fuck around) and you're the old melodramatic boyfriend dragging her down. You want her to associate you with the former, not the later.

But above all, CHILL OUT. Billions of men on this planet don't get to talk to a lover every night on the telephone and they manage just fine. You can too. You don't have to fuck around or get plastered or heroicly win her love back to get over this. All you have to do is RELAX.

6/19/2006 8:15:24 PM

Quote :

"But above all, CHILL OUT. Billions of men on this planet don't get to talk to a lover every night on the telephone and they manage just fine. You can too. You don't have to fuck around or get plastered or heroicly win her love back to get over this. All you have to do is RELAX."

This is damn good advice. All of this ain't the end of the world, though I'm absolutely sure you have spells where it seems like it is. It just takes time. I know everybody is saying hurry up and get over this, get you something to nail, etc...but sometimes it just takes a little time and the knowledge that, well, this is over and I have to move on, and what's more, I WILL move on and be okay. And that's the goal you have to have for yourself.

You DON'T have to be with somebody to be happy or okay. On the other hand, when you are happy and okay beforehand, being with somebody takes on new meaning...and it's that much more enjoyable.

6/19/2006 8:27:53 PM

And of course, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about

6/19/2006 9:54:49 PM

I tried to cancel the meeting.



She pushed to reschedule it next week.



So I told her to call me and remind me.







Do you guys think I fucked that up, too?

6/19/2006 11:11:19 PM

No, good show on trying to cancel it.

When she calls to reschedule, reiterate that you don't think it's necessary and say peace out.

6/19/2006 11:31:09 PM

Quote :

"Why would you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you?"

short and sweet.

^ 50/50 on that one, it depends a lot on how he handles his shit between then and now, good call though

6/19/2006 11:34:49 PM

kirk, i've got to disagree. i'd say show up for the reschedule meeting but let her call him to remind him - or text or whatever.

but thats just me - i know most guys would seem to disagree.

6/20/2006 12:00:54 AM

Quote :

"Wow, if breakups were like that I'd break up with people every day."

Well, it was one of those situations where the relationship had atrophied to a point where it should've ended much much earlier than it actually did. Still one of the easiest breakups ever. I didn't cry at all.

6/20/2006 12:14:39 AM

I think he gained some hand by trying to cancel and forcing her to ask for a reschedule.

Personally, I'd love to hear her explanation for this (the real explanation, not the "find herself" bullshit.) Good luck. Stay cool.

6/20/2006 12:18:43 AM

RallyD dropped some golden knowledge on your dome and you're still weepy eyed over this girl.

Look man, its over. She's prolly hitting, or going to hit, some dude thats read your very post and they'll probably have a good laugh about it while smokin a cig after a long night.

I mean, you've pretty much lost in every way.

6/20/2006 12:20:13 AM

Quote :

"kirk, i've got to disagree. i'd say show up for the reschedule meeting but let her call him to remind him - or text or whatever. "

Yep, if she actually calls to remind you, then you have to show. oherwise do not under any circumstances call her or show up.

6/20/2006 2:38:57 AM

dude everyone on this forum should just put like 5 dollars in since we feel so sorry for you. Then with the money we accumulate we hire you a nice prostitute that wil basically sex your brains out until you completley forgot about all life prior to orgasm. The only other option is to do Heroin. In some movie I watched this guy heard Heroin was better then sex and when his g/f dumped him b/c she found a video of them having sex, he took up Heroin. I didn't watch much more, but it looked like life was getting a lot better for him. Peace

6/20/2006 8:48:39 AM