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play so hard
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Has anyone purchased a lab made diamond yet?

http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Man-Made-Diamonds-vs-Real-Diamonds-22826741
http://www.popsci.com/lab-grown-diamonds-keep-electronics-cool
http://nypost.com/2014/12/11/would-you-propose-with-a-lab-grown-diamond/
http://www.forbes.com/sites/timtreadgold/2015/03/11/dont-laugh-citi-says-man-made-diamonds-are-a-growing-threat-to-the-real-thing

2/11/2016 5:01:51 PM

dannydigtl
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We looked into it, but they're more expensive than real diamonds and the color isn't good. They can't make them very clear for some reason. At least 5 or so years ago.

2/12/2016 10:40:33 AM

BobbyDigital
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http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

34 year old article, still relevant today. stop wasting your money on shiny bits of glass!

2/12/2016 11:15:20 AM

justinh524
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^^^http://www.lifegem.com

2/12/2016 11:20:27 AM

dtownral
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^^ who buys a diamond for resale value?

2/12/2016 11:44:06 AM

synapse
play so hard
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Quote :
"They can't make them very clear for some reason. At least 5 or so years ago."


From the little I've read, it seems that's changed for the better.

2/12/2016 12:03:27 PM

hershculez
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Quote :
"http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

34 year old article, still relevant today. stop wasting your money on shiny bits of glass!"


Every guy on here knows it is a complete waste of money. You are not blowing anyone's mind. It makes (most of) them happy though. It goes both ways. When I wanted my Casesar Guerini Summit Impact she thought it was a complete waste of money. I was happy to remind her that as expensive as she thought the shotgun was it was still a lot less than the cost of her ring.

2/12/2016 12:08:45 PM

BobbyDigital
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Quote :
"^^ who buys a diamond for resale value?"


isn't that the stated reason why this stupid tradition is justified? women can sell it if the dude bounces or dies?

anyway, the article isn't really about re-selling diamonds (your response shows you didn't read it), but about what a fucking bullshit marketing scam it is.


Quote :
"Every guy on here knows it is a complete waste of money. You are not blowing anyone's mind. It makes (most of) them happy though. "


I'd argue that any woman who derives happiness from a bit of glass is not worth having as a spouse. that's like signing up for a life time of dealing with materialistic bullshit. Put that money in an index fund, or use it for an awesome trip or other life experience.

Makes me wonder-- I'm curious on whether housewives are more likely to place importance on something like this than independent women who have their own career. I'd suspect that women who have ambition beyond staying at home and popping out kids are more likely to think a really expensive diamond engagement ring is a waste of money.

[Edited on February 15, 2016 at 5:18 PM. Reason : .]

2/15/2016 5:18:03 PM

dtownral
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Quote :
"isn't that the stated reason why this stupid tradition is justified? women can sell it if the dude bounces or dies?"

stated? where? no, it's to show off by having a bigger ring than all your peers

2/15/2016 5:21:42 PM

LunaK
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Quote :
"a really expensive diamond engagement ring is a waste of money."

2/15/2016 5:54:14 PM

slappy1
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^^^now I'm curious what your wife has

(P.s. I agree 100% with everything you just said)

2/15/2016 6:16:29 PM

d357r0y3r
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This was pretty easy process for us. Went with a lab grown sapphire in a nice platinum ring that she picked out. We went through http://www.greenlakejewelry.com/ and they were easy to work with.

She specifically didn't want a diamond because it's marketing bullshit and it would be a waste of money better spent elsewhere. To us this idea of the man making big purchases for the woman is a little crazy. Where do you think that money is coming from?

2/15/2016 6:41:12 PM

colangus
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I got married back in 08. I can't recall the last time I looked at my wife's ring.

I think I spent $7k... way more than I should have spent.

It was back in the days before the crash and housing bubble. Friends were wiping their asses with money. Shit was crazy.

There are many other things more important than a ring. But to each his own.

2/15/2016 11:22:39 PM

jbrick83
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Quote :
"I'd suspect that women who have ambition beyond staying at home and popping out kids are more likely to think a really expensive diamond engagement ring is a waste of money."


The correlation might make sense...but it's just not true. Most women like jewelry. And if they have a choice...they like nice jewelry. Men can be like that with material things as well.. Look at all the dudes buying several thousand dollar watches in the watch thread. Or go over to the garage and see guys putting money into their cars. You might get more use out of a watch (but not really) and a car (definitely moreso...but compared to something you could spend a lot less money on??)...but they definitely fall into the category of being more of a "want" than a "need".

My wife loves her diamond, but she also does a majority of her clothes shopping at Marshalls and TJ Maxx.

2/16/2016 7:31:56 AM

Doss2k
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I spent just enough to get a decent sized diamond that she loved. Neither of us would have been ok with spending a ton of money but its the one piece of jewelry she wears every single day and it didnt break the bank. As someone else mentioned its always nice to have that as a fallback when you buy something sorta expensive that she thinks is a waste of money as well haha.

2/16/2016 8:37:37 AM

dtownral
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All these people complaining about ring prices probably still spent over $20k for a 4-hr party

i'm fine with what i spent on an engagement ring but think it's pretty disgusting what was spent on our wedding

[Edited on February 16, 2016 at 9:09 AM. Reason : .]

2/16/2016 9:08:47 AM

jbrick83
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^ True...but it wasn't my money!

2/16/2016 10:32:07 AM

afripino
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Quote :
"I'd argue that any woman who derives happiness from a bit of glass is not worth having as a spouse. that's like signing up for a life time of dealing with materialistic bullshit. Put that money in an index fund, or use it for an awesome trip or other life experience.
"


this. that's exactly what we did. spent $2.2k on a ring, $23k on a wedding (which we received more than that back in gifts/money and it would've been only $6k if it were totally up to us), and used any extra money towards investments and a trip to Ireland on a Groupon for our honeymoon.

2/16/2016 10:33:08 AM

MaximaDrvr

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I spent $7.5k on the ring, but we spent <$12k on the wedding.
50 person plated dinner with dj and open (no liquor) bar.

2/16/2016 12:10:28 PM

BobbyDigital
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Quote :
"^^^now I'm curious what your wife has"


She inherited her grandmother's diamond-- which I "stole" and had re-set in a platinum band for like $700.




Quote :
"The correlation might make sense...but it's just not true. Most women like jewelry. And if they have a choice...they like nice jewelry. Men can be like that with material things as well.. Look at all the dudes buying several thousand dollar watches in the watch thread. Or go over to the garage and see guys putting money into their cars. You might get more use out of a watch (but not really) and a car (definitely moreso...but compared to something you could spend a lot less money on??)...but they definitely fall into the category of being more of a "want" than a "need"."


fair points.

and yeah my wife definitely likes her jewelry, though she tends to not go after stuff with a 4 figure or more price tag and doesn't buy stuff very often. This is probably one area where I'm not all that reasonable because I genuinely do not comprehend the appeal of really expensive jewelry that looks no different to me than the same thing with synthetic stones.

2/16/2016 3:10:55 PM

Flyin Ryan
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A "Dad Thought of Wisdom":

"Never spend more on a wedding ring than what you make in a month."

2/21/2016 5:08:57 PM

Fry
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a lot of ppl gettin bent on what other ppl want ITT

spend your money however you want. simple advice: just consider the consequences of your spending decisions.

2/21/2016 6:12:46 PM

Klatypus
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huh,well didn't realize engagement rings were going for so much these days


good thing emeralds are 'cheap' in comparison

2/21/2016 10:39:50 PM

synapse
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Quote :
"She inherited her grandmother's diamond"


What would you have done if you didn't have the inherited one?

2/26/2016 3:50:06 PM

BobbyDigital
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no idea-- hard to retcon that 12 years later, but I sure as hell wouldn't have spent 3, 2, or a month's salary on a diamond ring. hell maybe i'd have bought one cheap that someone was getting rid of because they called off the engagement or whatever.

2/29/2016 12:18:40 AM

dtownral
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i also didn't have to buy a diamond but still somehow spent $8-9K on the engagement ring and wedding band

2/29/2016 10:33:25 AM

slappy1
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That seems wildly excessive.

3/1/2016 2:20:30 PM

dtownral
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well you don't know my financial situation, but yeah the entire industry is pretty gross

[Edited on March 1, 2016 at 2:24 PM. Reason : .]

3/1/2016 2:23:53 PM

jbrick83
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Quote :
" but I sure as hell wouldn't have spent 3, 2, or a month's salary on a diamond ring."


Easy to say that now.

^^^ That is impressive. I assume you had a few smaller diamonds surrounding the main one?

I spent $9k on my wife's engagement ring. I had absolutely zero experience with diamonds and/or expensive jewelry and had no idea what I was getting into. I originally thought I could get out of the whole ordeal spending $5k, max. I started to look around without informing my wife. I asked my mom, her sister, and her mom for help...all three women who have similar tastes in jewelry and always buy her stuff that she likes. After all three women gave me completely different ideas on what to get her...I folded and asked for my wife's help.

Besides the style...my wife requested that (if I could afford it), at least a one carat diamond. A decent ring with a one carat diamond can easily get you in the $10k and up range. The frustrating part is that a diamond in the .90+ range will save you a couple thousand automatically. Every time you get into a new carat, the price jumps substantially (fucking diamonds...).

My wife's family has some money. Not filthy rich...but both her sister and her mom have pretty nice rings (sister's ring was $25k and the mom's ring is twice the size). It's even worse with her lifelong friends. One is married to a hedge fund guy who got her a 4 carat, $250k ring and the other has a 2.5 carat blinger.

Suffice it to say...I didn't think a 1 carat request was unreasonable. Over three years later, she still loves the ring as much as she did the day she received it. She wears it every day and will do so for the rest of her life (or until I start making millions and get her a bigger rock). $9k doesn't seem too bad when you look at it that way...IMO at least.

[Edited on March 1, 2016 at 2:34 PM. Reason : .]

3/1/2016 2:34:36 PM

dtownral
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2 ~half-carat diamonds in a pave setting and the wedding band is also pave. i think the wedding band was almost $3k of that.

i also had the problem of marrying into money so even though she of course never asked for or pushed for anything i did want something that fit in. i struggled with it internally but decided that if i wasn't financing anything and it didn't change any of my spending or saving i was okay with it. i'm still okay with it today, it's a once in a lifetime purchase so i'm not worried about it at all. over my life i will spend a lot more money on even dumber things.

[Edited on March 1, 2016 at 2:49 PM. Reason : ~]

3/1/2016 2:38:47 PM

d357r0y3r
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Quote :
"All these people complaining about ring prices probably still spent over $20k for a 4-hr party"


<2k on the ring (she loves it)
About 6k on wedding + party (small wedding, bigger party), paid for by her family

The ring purchase was done with the knowledge that we were spending "our" money. This wasn't magic money that comes out of my ass - more money on the ring would mean less money in our bank account when we're married. Some women might not care about that...some women might be financially retarded.

In any case, the issue of finances (my assets, her assets, her debt) were all well understood way ahead of time for us. I'm curious about what percentage of couples have candid, transparent discussions about financial status before sealing the deal.

3/1/2016 3:12:06 PM

jbrick83
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^ It's situation dependent. While I definitely didn't want to spend $9k on a ring and could have used the money in other places...it wasn't going to effect our quality of life or prevent us from purchasing a house or sending a kid to private school or anything. If we had been living month-to-month on paying bills...then it just wouldn't have happened. Conversely...if I had been making $200k/yr at the time...she probably would have gotten an extra carat.

3/1/2016 4:55:22 PM

cyrion
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in my 20s i'd have been fine with the 1-2 month salary thing, but now i feel guilty blowing that kind of cash on jewelry. thankfully my fiance was fine with this and while she was giddy looking at more expensive rings, she knew she could find something that wasn't outrageous. ended up a little under $2k on a ring. wedding band also seems like a dumb tradition to me.

3/1/2016 5:05:30 PM

dtownral
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Quote :
"In any case, the issue of finances (my assets, her assets, her debt) were all well understood way ahead of time for us. I'm curious about what percentage of couples have candid, transparent discussions about financial status before sealing the deal."

we had the full money discussion like 2 months into dating, IMO that's something that you should discuss fairly early in a relationship

3/1/2016 5:55:29 PM

aaronburro
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I have stupid questions here... I know yall are surprised that I, of all people, would be asking about an engagement ring... Stifle it!

Anyway, I've got a good idea of what I want at this point, and I'm price shopping with specs. I've gone to several places, but one place is significantly lower than the others (~20-30%). The diamond alone at other places is more expensive than the whole ring at this place. What do I need to do to make sure I'm not getting screwed here? Ask for certifications on it and then get it appraised by other shops after buying? The shop has a 30-day policy, so I guess that covers me...

The only thing "fuzzy" about the specs is the salesperson gave a range for the color (adjacent letters), but I don't think that's enough to account for the price difference here, so I have just asked other places for the lower letter. This place has a loose diamonds search on their website, and their prices are comparable with the Helzberg and Jared's websites.

Also, this place was bragging about "3D printing the band." Is that anything to be worried about? I assume they'll just 3D print a mold and then cast it in that.

[Edited on November 8, 2016 at 7:52 PM. Reason : let's not show how cheap I am ]

11/8/2016 7:50:19 PM

aaronburro
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For those wondering, I was able to answer my own question about the cheaper place. Their grading was using EGL, while everyone else was using GIA. The two grading labs, unless I am mistaken, don't put out comparable numbers, and EGL grades higher than GIA.

11/9/2016 11:53:33 AM

dtownral
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go GIA

and honestly don't obsess about the specs. a diamond with some inclusions can be more brilliant than a higher rated diamonds if they aren't in a bad spot and its cut well. really you need to just go look and hopefully have a salesperson who is honest and can pick out some good options.

diamonds direct is good for looking at different diamond options

11/9/2016 11:59:43 AM

slckwill577
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I wouldn't buy one from anywhere without at least talking with someone at Diamonds Direct.

They have some pretty good options and will almost always have the better price.

11/9/2016 12:19:33 PM

Klatypus
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^^^ congrats burro, I take it you are going the diamond route, which is cool, but also look into other precious stones, they are imo more spectacular and diamonds are not really worth what they are hyped to be.


but for real congrats and good luck!

11/9/2016 1:52:18 PM

dtownral
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They are worth what people will pay for them, same as precious stones

11/10/2016 12:10:57 PM

Klatypus
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no shit, but when the supply is being artificially restricted by diamond suppliers it gets a tad inflated, especially when you consider that diamonds had many applications for science a few decades ago, and now not so much, so the value is almost entirely cosmetic.

I am not judging anyone for buying a diamond or having one, so try not to get so defensive

11/10/2016 2:19:17 PM

aaronburro
Sup, B
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Ended up going with Diamonds Direct. By the time I was ready to pull the trigger, I had seen enough diamonds to be able to spot crappier ones, and I damned near laughed at a salesperson in another store who tried to pull out a J on me. I saw the color before she even said what it was and was like "no thanks, try again."

[Edited on November 16, 2016 at 11:25 PM. Reason : ]

11/16/2016 11:24:27 PM

synapse
play so hard
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Quote :
" when the supply is being artificially restricted by diamond suppliers it gets a tad inflated "


Aren't lab created diamonds becoming a good alternative?

11/17/2016 12:31:56 AM

Lionheart
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Let's be clear, it is a complete scam but you're fucked and gotta get one anyway

11/17/2016 12:57:31 AM

dtownral
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its like the smallest part of being fucked, just suck it up, the wedding industry will fuck you harder on every other purchase for the ceremony

11/17/2016 8:11:37 AM

jbrick83
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the ring and the wedding are the smallest parts of being fucked...it's the rest of your married life that really gets you...


11/17/2016 9:39:15 AM

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