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NC86
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isnt this the same girl who's man left her..... you know, the geeky computer type guy.


and here's she's complaining about men, when in reality its men that complain about her.


OH THE IRONY.

1/31/2008 12:52:43 AM

CaelNCSU
All American
7082 Posts
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Quote :
"Just chill, live your life your way, and it will all work out."


Indeed, probably the best advice I've seen yet.


Quote :
"the earliest age you should get married is 25...you have to live a lil before you get hitched...dont understand getting married at 20 21 then she gets preggers, then goes the career you dreamed about(especially ones that move around a lot)"


Most people, especially these days don't get their career going until after 25. It's also highly recommended to stay single after your career gets going. It takes that long at least to 25 to get established and start reaping the rewards of college and your new fangled real job.

1/31/2008 8:05:51 AM

sober46an3
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Quote :
"It's also highly recommended to stay single after your career gets going."


highly recommended by who? you?

1/31/2008 8:21:01 AM

CalledToArms
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i can see it that way. If you are single and really trying to kick start your career theres no reason to be out trying to find a wife/husband.

however, there are other things to consider. in my situation, we've been dating for several years. I have been out of school and working for ~9 mos at a dream company in my field. She is graduating in 1 year. obviously it will be harder for her to try and find a job in one specific area (where i live) than being open to anywhere (where i know she could get any applicable job she wanted). despite that, we feel there is no reason NOT to get married. After dating for as long as we have and being extremely happy together, it would be stupid to throw it away. And if she is going to be moving down with me to get a job etc. it doesnt really make sense to NOT get married (and we really want to, im not just saying that we feel like we have to)

PS im 23 shes 21 and we'll be 24 and 22 when we got married.

1/31/2008 8:26:24 AM

CaelNCSU
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^^

Yes, when have you ever had, in college, large disposable income to do what ever you want with. Take some time for your self without having to try to please a significant other. A lot of people move right out of college into the next thing without figuring out what they want in between.

1/31/2008 8:29:20 AM

sober46an3
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i had plenty of money in college. i co-oped. but thats not the point. i can see why you wouldnt want a relationship if all you relate to that is money and trying to please someone else all the time.

thank god some of us are in relationships that don't work that way.

if anything, i think my career has benefited from my relationship, but i certainly don't go around saying "its highly recommend to be in a relationship when you are starting your career" becase you can't make blanket statements like that. they just don't work.

[Edited on January 31, 2008 at 8:37 AM. Reason : d]

1/31/2008 8:35:03 AM

CaelNCSU
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It's just my opinion not a blanket statement. If you have a significant other with similar interests and goals both in the workplace and outside of work it could easily work out and be complimentary. I find that very hard in a lot of cases if you have activities out side of work that are taking a lot of time so effectively you end up busting ass in two places at once. It's something a significant other can be ok with, but a WIFE may want a little more of your time.

I wasn't really arguing against having a significant other, more like a wife or girlfriend who thinks she is. Should have been more clear on that.

[Edited on January 31, 2008 at 8:50 AM. Reason : a]

1/31/2008 8:50:29 AM

sober46an3
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Quote :
"It's just my opinion not a blanket statement."


that's what i was getting at.

im curious...are you married? cause i am, and i haven't noticed any increase in attention time. if anything, it's easier because we don't have to make trips to see each other....we're around each other all the time at home.

i have a full time job, im taking three grad classes this semester, and i still spend time with my wife. if i can do it, anyone can.

[Edited on January 31, 2008 at 9:00 AM. Reason : d]

1/31/2008 8:57:15 AM

David0603
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12764 Posts
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It kind of makes sense if you are working one of those jobs that requires you to put in 50-60 hours a week or travel 5 days a week.

1/31/2008 10:09:55 AM

lewoods
All American
3526 Posts
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You're talking about the benefits of living together, not getting married.

1/31/2008 12:26:23 PM

Skwinkle
burritotomyface
19447 Posts
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Quote :
"It's something a significant other can be ok with, but a WIFE may want a little more of your time."


Not all women turn into raving bitches the second they get married.

1/31/2008 12:28:14 PM

sober46an3
All American
47925 Posts
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^^you catch on quick!

[Edited on January 31, 2008 at 12:29 PM. Reason : d]

1/31/2008 12:29:35 PM

d357r0y3r
Jimmies: Unrustled
8198 Posts
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remember when StillFuchsia and drunknloaded hooked up

1/31/2008 12:29:39 PM

SandSanta
All American
22435 Posts
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Wait, are you serious?

1/31/2008 12:56:19 PM

CalledToArms
All American
22025 Posts
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hawt

1/31/2008 12:57:48 PM

hooksaw
All American
16500 Posts
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Quote :
"Seriously, print this thread out and put in a time capsule and look at it again in 10 years."

2/1/2008 1:16:54 PM

Vix
All American
8522 Posts
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Funny how she bitches about these men and not the women who raised them.

2/1/2008 1:25:04 PM

seedless
All American
27142 Posts
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A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T HAVE A MAN CAN'T TELL ME SHIT ABOUT WHAT MAKES ME A MAN LAWLZ

2/1/2008 1:34:44 PM

StillFuchsia
All American
18941 Posts
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Quote :
"remember when StillFuchsia and drunknloaded hooked up"


This never happened. I don't know why you fags keep posting it.

[Edited on February 1, 2008 at 1:42 PM. Reason : .]

2/1/2008 1:39:17 PM

NC86
All American
9134 Posts
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i remember,

i almost threw up when i saw the pics.

2/1/2008 1:40:47 PM

StillFuchsia
All American
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^

I've never even met that trout.

2/1/2008 1:41:27 PM

SandSanta
All American
22435 Posts
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Post pics or it didn't happen.

2/1/2008 2:03:50 PM

jchill2
All American
2683 Posts
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pix plz

2/3/2008 9:35:59 AM

MinkaGrl01

21814 Posts
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http://www.mightybargainhunter.com/2008/02/01/on-child-men-growing-up-and-finances/

Quote :
"
On child-men, growing up, and finances
Published February 1st, 2008 in Personal Finance.

It’s been a while since I’ve read an article that raised my blood pressure. I’ve long since tired of listening to demeaning stereotypes toward men and having broad-sweeping opinions shoved down my throat by someone who portends to know what my gender is all about. I experienced quite a bit of this in college and it’s taken over ten years to degauss my moral compass from the polarizing it took while I was there.

Kay Hymowitz calls broadly most of unmarried male Generation Y “child-men,” which implies an existence in “a new hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance.” Apparently if you’re male, out of college or nearly so, and unmarried, you’ve got no greater goals in life than to play video games, read Maxim, play Halo 3, ignite the methane coming out of your backside, go to bars, hook up, and go nowhere fast — and prefer to have it that way, thank you very much. Appalling! You should be selling your XBox, getting married, and, bluntly, growing up. In the meantime, the thoughtful, albeit irritated or despondently heartbroken, woman stands by in disapproval and wonders why this is so.

It’s these kinds of emasculating, counterproductive generalizations that, if believed and acted upon in haste, will produce far more irritation and heartbreak than if guys grow up when they themselves realize that they’re not adolescents anymore, that the bar scene just isn’t cutting it, and that Halo 3 expertise isn’t a marketable skill. The more of a guy’s colleagues that get married and have kids, the less appealing this lifestyle becomes because he starts to look like an old man trying to relive his youth.

Now, it’s true that guys are getting married later than they used to, for whatever reasons, and that there are many more exciting escapes for postponing this move than there used to be. But some guys get married young, and are fully ready for it. There are several young couples in our church. The values of yesteryear do exist, and marriage takes two willing participants. So, single women looking to marry, if Hymowitz’s arguments make perfect sense and if the guys you’re spending time with are “child-men,” then just look elsewhere. But please don’t wish that they would change; look for men who have changed, and make sure also that you’re the kind of woman that they’d want to marry.

That’s plenty on what I think of her opinion. Here are a few final thoughts that tie finances into the mix:

* Getting married before you’re pretty sure that you’re ready to get married, man or woman, is a really bad idea. The average age of marriage is what it is, for whatever reason, and if a guy is clinging to a “child-man” lifestyle, he’s not ready. I wasn’t ready for a long time. I was a month away from my thirtieth birthday when I got married, and I wouldn’t change this for anything. It was the right time for me. Staying married is enough work even when you want to be married. Getting married before you’re ready is asking for a lot of emotional and financial hardship.
* I’ll agree that playing a lot of video games, going to bars, etc., does sap your productivity at a time when it will bring the most benefit. If two or three hours a day is average for video game playing at this age, then that’s a lot of time. Money earned at this stage of the game has a long time to compound and can make a huge difference on the bottom line in retirement. Money not earned, or, worse, money spent, will not be there, several times over, at retirement. Child-man-ness, especially the poor financial and time habits that come with it, is a choice. And with that choice comes some habits that are pretty tough to get rid of, so beware.
* From my own experience, it’s best to “grow up” at your own pace. If you grow up earlier than you should, life is “thrust upon you” and you’ll feel cheated. If you grow up later than you should, you’ll know it, and others will tell you once they get tired enough of your behavior. If you grow up at the right speed, you know what you’re leaving behind, and you know that where you’re going has a good chance of being better. After nearly six years of marriage I hardly remember what it was like not to be married, and when I think about what it was like, I don’t miss it that much. But I was ready to “grow up” and get married. There’s more responsibility being a grown-up, but it’s also more rewarding and more fulfilling. That’s where the payoff is, but it’s a payoff that you have to want.
"

2/4/2008 6:58:34 AM

BobbyDigital
Thots and Prayers
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^

One thing of note is how the dude takes offense to the stereotypes of Gen Y, but he's age clearly puts him in Gen X. So most of his points based on personal experience are moot.

2/4/2008 8:30:51 AM

ssjamind
All American
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i don't know what the exact cutoff for Gen X vs. Y is, but there are themes within each that generation that define it.

Gen X, from what i saw, grew up listening to grunge, watching mallrats, and with a suburban angst that they validated with some pseudo-intellectual bullshit. it was 1994 and they were consumed with Kurt Kobain's suicide while there was a genocide going on in Rwanda.

Gen Y, in my life experience, was starting tech companies at a young age, signing up for Teach for America, and generally doing a lot with their lives.

as for this article...
timelines have changed, primarily because women are a lot more educated and financially independant now than ever before. the fact that women have flooded the workplace and become contributors to GDP in a real way has changed the whole family dynamic. its just a different world. blaming video games and the bar scene, or blaming anything in general, is a cop out.

2/4/2008 4:40:40 PM

vinylbandit
All American
48079 Posts
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Quote :
"Gen Y, in my life experience, was starting tech companies at a young age, signing up for Teach for America, and generally doing a lot with their lives."


You and I know some very different people.

2/4/2008 4:57:46 PM

StellaArtois
All American
1650 Posts
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Quote :
"isnt this the same girl who's man left her..... you know, the geeky computer type guy.


and here's she's complaining about men, when in reality its men that complain about her.


OH THE IRONY.

"

yep, its the same person

2/4/2008 5:05:42 PM

NyM410
J-E-T-S
50085 Posts
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Quote :
"I'd be fucking shamed and pissed about moving back home after college"


Shit... I'm neither. When you pay for graduate school in the U.C. system out of your own pocket without taking loans I think it's the smart thing to do if possible. I mean it may be "cool" to be $60k in debt but I'll sacrafice being cool for being able to live my life the way I want to aside from the 1 year in my mid-20's that I'm living at home.

Frankly, I think that is the more mature approach to take than trying to hack it $60k in debt with credit card bills out the ass...

2/4/2008 5:24:53 PM

Spontaneous
All American
27372 Posts
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Not this thread again.

2/4/2008 5:55:16 PM

Kodiak
All American
7067 Posts
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Quote :
"Gen X, from what i saw, grew up listening to grunge, watching mallrats, and with a suburban angst that they validated with some pseudo-intellectual bullshit."


I'm only 23, but that's totally me.

2/4/2008 6:24:19 PM

vinylbandit
All American
48079 Posts
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^ That, too....though I'm an old man at 24.

2/4/2008 7:58:21 PM

StillFuchsia
All American
18941 Posts
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Quote :
"Gen Y, in my life experience, was starting tech companies at a young age, signing up for Teach for America, and generally doing a lot with their lives."


You're either saying this because you ARE someone who did these things or you're supremely delusional. Seriously. I mean, it's not like Teach for America existed in the 90s or there were productive people before US, right?!

2/4/2008 8:05:00 PM

BobbyDigital
Thots and Prayers
41777 Posts
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There's no hard line between Generations, it's more of a blurred line. Generally, Gen X are folks born in the 60s and 70's and Gen Y were born in the 80's and 90's, but I see at it as more of a function of cultural identity than absolute age.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_x
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Y


Being born in '78, I tend to identify with aspects of both generations

2/4/2008 8:19:01 PM

bcsawyer
All American
4562 Posts
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I'm 26 and married and I have a stable career and farm part-time. A lot of guys I know my age are in similar situations. What group/location was targeted to get this info?

2/4/2008 9:55:22 PM

SandSanta
All American
22435 Posts
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I'm pretty sure we pegged the writer and the OP as two women that have man problems.

2/4/2008 10:02:18 PM

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