Holy shit, 5.

I lived with another girl once, who had a famous father that was in the process of divorcing her mom for a nice young strumpet. She would get obliterated regularly, and hilarity would often ensue.

One night, after a particularly brutal conversation with her father and a long night at the bar, my other roommate and I come home and try to put her in the bed. Maybe twenty minutes later we hear her rustling around in the room, so we go to check on her.

We open the door, and there she is, popping a squat on the carpet and just pissing everywhere. My roommate yells at her; "_____! What are you doing?!?" to which she replies, serious as can be, "You've reached ____'s phone. I'm sorry I can't answer right now, but please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!" Then she rolled over and went to sleep on the floor beside her piss.

That was one of MANY interesting nights with her, and the other roommate wasn't much better...

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 2:45 PM. Reason : 5!]

7/17/2009 2:44:43 PM

ahahahahahaa

7/17/2009 2:46:11 PM

Who was the father?

7/17/2009 2:46:38 PM

wtf

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 3:11 PM. Reason : unexpected guilt]

7/17/2009 2:48:01 PM

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN

WHOO!

GENE!

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 2:49 PM. Reason : And now you know the rest of the story.]

7/17/2009 2:48:46 PM

melanndelyn has a funny one that I'm going to say for her...

She walked out of her room one day and smacked her ex-roommate in the head.. who was on the floor giving her fuck buddy a bj.

7/17/2009 2:50:19 PM

^^^

7/17/2009 3:25:04 PM

lol is that her mugshot from when she beat up her dad?

7/17/2009 3:27:21 PM

she beat up a cop

http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/4259929/

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 3:30 PM. Reason : by beat up I mean that she probably accidently kicked him while resisting arrest.]

7/17/2009 3:29:22 PM

Yeah when he showed up after she and her boyfriend beat up her dad.

7/17/2009 3:29:56 PM

with a folding chair, oddly enough

7/17/2009 3:29:59 PM

Big deal, I could beat up my dad easy

He's 56 and has a prostate the size of a fucking cantaloupe

7/17/2009 3:30:47 PM

lol he's Ric Flair. It's just kind of ironic.

7/17/2009 3:31:46 PM

oh well why didn't you say so ?

That's a horse of a different color !

7/17/2009 3:33:17 PM

haha. she was in my spanish class last semester

7/17/2009 3:33:38 PM

i once threatened to kill my old roommate's bunny at our thanksgiving party

so she took it and left

but now we are like bff so it is ok

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 5:44 PM. Reason : .]

7/17/2009 5:44:11 PM

my female roommate said she wanted to go out for dinner but had no money, and asked me what it would take for me to pay for her.

i said get naked and run around in circles for 3 minutes, and she did.

good times.

7/17/2009 6:08:51 PM

i have the best roommate ever!!

7/17/2009 6:18:11 PM

does he cook and pay the bills?

7/17/2009 6:18:45 PM

did you get that couch at good will

or did you just find it lying next to the dumpster

7/17/2009 6:19:22 PM

hey now goodwill shouldnt be associated with nasty old furniture.

DID YOU KNOW that they recycle the nasty stuff and keep the good stuff... and also that (at least in the triad area) there is a mixture of furniture from target.

just sayin

7/17/2009 6:21:24 PM

fucking peasants and their cheap couches

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 6:23 PM. Reason : d]

7/17/2009 6:23:36 PM

why do you assume that is a nasty couch?
it's a yucky color but actually a pretty comfy sectional

7/17/2009 6:47:25 PM

he's just trolling you

7/17/2009 6:48:38 PM