Quote :

"just booked my ticket down for the Alabama Tennessee game in October!!!"

7/27/2010 8:31:27 AM

wat

7/27/2010 8:32:13 AM

^^ you're an ass

7/27/2010 8:32:14 AM

7/27/2010 8:32:41 AM

Quote :

"i've officially determined it's too hot to run in the evenings. morning workouts here i come."

7/27/2010 8:33:22 AM

This is one of those "just send a message" deals

Quote :

"C wtf I have been hearing police sirens nonstop for the past 30 minutes...I guess I officially live in the hood!!!! D They're after my x husband....lol C @D...is he back in NC? D No he hasn't been arrested in NC yet. Maybe he has IDK lol. but he's not back there tho, but he is trying 2 run from the law. C Whatd he do this time?lol did the bank ever get his truck? D DUI. Nope, that truck was wrecked, totaled out and was paid all but 800 2 bank. His truck he has now is in the impoundment. If he doesn't pick it up by Friday it's theres. I'm goin 2 go and get the battery off of it. They only thing I bought 4 it."

7/27/2010 8:44:34 AM

"D" sounds like a real winner herself.

7/27/2010 8:56:54 AM

Quote :

"Im trying to be raciest but i hate it when use as black men who will leave a black (Queen) women just to get with a white women Im sorry if that bad to some but i have to be true"

7/27/2010 9:03:33 AM

Well, at least they were open about trying to be racist...

7/27/2010 9:05:15 AM

Quote :

"Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate ...11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow."

7/28/2010 3:08:43 AM

Quote :

"No matter what I do, you just can't be happy....can't you just accept what I am offering and stop f***ing complaining...I've heard enough already..."

Quote :

"Enough of the high-school bullshit. You know who you are. If I find you, I promise you won't like what happens next."

7/29/2010 4:37:57 AM

got another one in...the girl posted this link as her status

http://www.termlifeinsurance.org/stop-drinking-bottled-water/

which is just hippy bullshit about the plastics and the money and water is depleting and 'oh noes' all around

...and finally ends the ad with a blurb about how bottled water is not empirically healthier than tap water.

7/29/2010 9:27:47 AM

Quote :

"I'm going to become a cop so I can go undercover and catch foreigners, it's not illegal to be foreign, it's just illegal to do what foreigners do."

7/29/2010 11:28:47 PM

Quote :

"I'm starting to think I need to find me a white man. Maybe I will have better luck!!! Try something new! What you think?"

FYI, she's white.

7/31/2010 11:23:26 PM

Quote :

"Saks will soon be carrying plus sizes in Chanel, YSL, D&G, Roberto Cavalli...thanks so much for supporting the obesity epidemic, guys. "

8/4/2010 11:26:10 AM

here is mine...

=IF(RIGHT(D3,2)="UP",SETUP!$E$17,IF(RIGHT(D3,2)="MA",SETUP!$E$18,IF(RIGHT(D3,2)="MB",SETUP!$E$18, IF(RIGHT(D3,3)="20B",SETUP!$E$19,IF(RIGHT(D3,3)="20A",SETUP!$E$19,IF(RIGHT(D3,3)="25B",SETUP!$E$20,IF(RIGHT(D3,3)="25A",SETUP!$E$21, IF(RIGHT(D3,3)="75B",SETUP!$E$21,IF(RIGHT(D3,3)="75A",SETUP!$E$21,IF(RIGHT(D3,2)="ID",SETUP!$E$22,IF(RIGHT(D3,2)="EG",SETUP!$E$23,"ERROR")))))))))))


twas a mistake

[Edited on August 4, 2010 at 8:04 PM. Reason : lines]

8/4/2010 8:03:59 PM

Quote :

"Shelby I have the best fiance in the world. He can do anything, is super good looking and smart. I think I'll get in the kitchen and bake him a cake when I'm done washing his clothes, because that's what good women do."

...

Quote :

"Shelby Jim is currently in the corner serving his punishment for hacking into my facebook! He is very sorry for writing things that simply are not true!"

8/12/2010 11:57:33 AM

^ what the F

8/12/2010 12:35:38 PM

^ what the F

8/12/2010 12:35:38 PM

Quote :

"Christine: Bout To Start Up My Coffee IV..Then Doing What Mommys Do Best-Cook.Clean.PLay "

8/12/2010 2:01:05 PM

Quote :

"out of a job again....i dont know what it is....why do i keep gettin fired!!! I HATE THIS CRAP!!! UUHHHHHHH!!!!! I cant keep a damn job for the life of me!! Hopefully one day i'll get a good job that wont fire me!!! right now i hate my life because I can't keep a job because of my illness!!! why does this keep happening to me????"

8/12/2010 5:52:07 PM

Quote :

"If you think putting up a mosque anywhere near ground zero and having the inauguration on the anniversary 09/11/11 is immoral, inhuman and a complete lack of respect for the memories of all who perished there on that day and their survivors and if you believe that politicians are doing a grave injustice to the fallen heroes their families and the people of New York City THEN COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR WALL!"

8/17/2010 2:14:42 PM

Quote :

" U ALWAYS ASK WHAT R U TO DO..... HELL IF U WANT TO GO BC U THINK SHIT BETTER WIT THE NEXT ONE GO BUT KNOW THIS IS THE LAST TIME IM 30 YEARS OLD AND THE ONLY GAMES IM PLAYIN R WIT MY 8 YEAR"

8/19/2010 3:19:42 PM

i have now seen a new trend in typing
instead of using the "g" key, theyre using the "q" key.


so instead of

"good thinking guys! goodnight."

it's

"qood thinkinq quys! qoodnight"

8/21/2010 11:24:49 AM

Quote :

"A friend of mine just started his own business, making land mines that look like prayer rugs.Its doing well. He says Prophets are going through the roof! "

8/26/2010 12:57:02 PM

Quote :

"My Newest Tattoo... It Means (CHRISTIAN) In Hebrew Lettering..."

?

8/30/2010 9:47:59 PM

Quote :

"Thanks NCAA for moving slow enough so that UNC has to suspend 9 players that haven't been proved of any wrongdoing for our biggest season opener since I have been alive"

9/3/2010 5:23:34 PM

Quote :

"Memories cnt b erased like txts, emails or chats all u can do is cherish the good 1s, learn from the bad 1s, look fwd n make new 1s..."

9/13/2010 10:40:50 PM

Quote :

" u 2 damn old 2b so immature, i hope u learn. u said i move 2 slo i showed u2 da door u said u call me later i said dont call no mo. , u act as tho i neva told u yes b4 u r so ungrateful. "

Calling someone immature while typing like a 12 year old

9/13/2010 11:07:34 PM

[INSERT OBLIGATORY WHINING ABOUT MY KIDS UPDATE]

9/13/2010 11:10:00 PM

Quote :

" Listen to Linkin Park's - Wretches & Kings: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4er9gIn9hM (wait for the bass line...great track for working out, driving to work & gardening). 7 minutes ago · Comment · Like"

9/13/2010 11:19:38 PM

i know working out & gardening are pretty much the same thing for me

9/13/2010 11:24:07 PM

hahahaha

they actually are for me since i do neither

9/13/2010 11:35:42 PM

my stupid cousin:

Stephen *** Is home. Nip/tuck season 6. its that same we watched the last time smoked weed babe. I love u. I'm gonna get better

9/23/2010 12:24:21 AM

Quote :

"Having a diamond status as a Hilton honors member and platinum status as a Starwood member, I am enjoying many benefit. But makes me wonder how many nights I've spent living in a hotel this year.. 4.5 months"

9/23/2010 1:57:06 PM

a middle aged white guy having a very strange conversation with himself :

Quote :

"Heathen,unsaved,free thinking,pagan,idolator,blasphemous,Witch,overeducated,atheistic,hell bound,offensive,scandalous.Liberal,heretic,unchurched,yep!dats Wu the rational human!!!"

Quote :

"Oh yea, and if U don't like it , U know where to stick your thumb!"

Quote :

"Oh.Wanna know why my gears got grinded? Some right wing christian hell bound ass hole tried to remove one of my freedom of speech bumper stickers! Good thing I was coming out of Food Lion,I had 6 Guinness's bottles shaking @ him!!!!BOOOOO go away!"

Quote :

"?? why are these CRAZY fuckers so scared and stupid of everyone.and why do they think their way iz the only way.now dat is very stupid,even if U believe in anything!Leave me the FUCK alone!"

Quote :

"It is days like this when You REALLY have to let the Flying Monkeys Out!"

Quote :

"And another thing, the only immortal Goddess I ever apologize to is my sweet and wonderful POOH!!!!and who saz dat WU-DO!!"

9/25/2010 12:15:22 PM

Quote :

"With evydy that goes by, I love my baby more n more. Im thkful 2 have him by my side n appricate evythg he does. ?"

9/25/2010 12:52:27 PM

David
Austin City Limits, here's hoping I survive the mayhem and hear some great music along the way!
6 hours ago via Facebook for Android · Comment · Like

Tracy
Wow ur going to city limits? Why didn't we ever go in Raleigh ?
4 hours ago · Like

10/8/2010 4:41:50 PM

10/8/2010 4:42:29 PM

haha^^

10/8/2010 4:44:35 PM

Quote :

"Giuliana went to her first gun show today. It plum tuckered her out!"

baby at a gun show??

10/8/2010 5:09:19 PM

I lol'd at

A friend of mine just started his own business, making land mines that look like prayer rugs.Its doing well. He says Prophets are going through the roof!

10/8/2010 7:39:33 PM

^ HA

10/8/2010 7:41:49 PM

Quote :

"Great day in football. Well all except for the Alabama lose. merr. But still Roll Tide! Go pack! & Go Heels!!!"

10/9/2010 7:53:30 PM

Quote :

"Bob xxxxx charley brown is a asshole! your a ass whole charley brown! 7 minutes ago · Comment · LikeUnlike * * Bob xxxxx likes this."

10/11/2010 1:28:05 PM

Quote :

"WHAT DOES THE LAST 4 LETTERS OF AMERICAN SPELL, WHAT DOES THE LAST 4 LETTERS OF REPUBLICAN SPELL, WHAT DOES THE LAST 4 LETTERS OF DEMOCRATS SPELL? THOUGHT YOU MAY LIKE THE LAUGH. "

why do these people always feel the need to post in all caps, too?

10/14/2010 4:18:28 PM

Quote :

"NTS: never leave expensive and necessary items (such as a breast pump) laying around where a mildly inebriated husband may step on and break it..."

10/14/2010 4:29:26 PM

if i ever post a status update like this, someone please come shoot me in the head. k thx.

Quote :

"can't wait for Oprah and Gayle's road trip! the excitement is building daily!"

10/15/2010 1:58:11 PM

Quote :

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PIRATESSSSSSSSS! WOLFPACK EAT FUCKING DUST YOU LOSERS LOOK GAY AS FUCK GET OUTTA MY TOWN!!!! NO QUARTER BITCHESSS!!!!!"

10/16/2010 11:44:51 AM

uhhhhh, what?

10/16/2010 11:46:28 AM