^^That's a different kind of problem.

When people talk about nice guys, they're talking about the guys who claim to be nice and then turn mean when they don't get what they think is owed to them as "nice guys." They will also whine a lot.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I'M A NICE GUY!

3/11/2014 1:09:35 PM

its that nice guys are boring.
typically they're doormats, they won't challenge you on anything and end up lacking that certain something (probably that spark of a stimulus you get when you get into a debate of beliefs or opinions)

and they don't understand why girls don't like them because they're never doing anything to upset the girl. if you were on a scale of -10 to 10 on the mean to nice, a "nice guy" will always be above 0, until you don't want to see him anymore

[Edited on March 11, 2014 at 1:12 PM. Reason : .]

3/11/2014 1:11:07 PM

I mean, I'm sure as fuck no Don Juan... and even I know that describing oneself as a "nice guy" is a terrible, terrible strategy for attracting women.

If a male describes himself as a "nice guy," it really suggests that he's fundamentally uninformed about dating and, to some extent, about social interactions in general.

3/11/2014 1:12:34 PM

this shit is cracking me up

3/11/2014 1:15:40 PM

Yeah, grimx knows the type I'm talking about. I know there are that kind and the douchebag kind, but I personally have met more boring doormats.

3/11/2014 1:16:02 PM

What is with chicks on Tinder having a bunch of pics featuring multiple people? I can't even figure out who this person is from a bunch of grainy ass Instagram pics of bleach blondes.

3/11/2014 1:40:52 PM

Quote :

"You want to meet up because we're close? That's a crappy reason."

Do you go out with your neighbor all the time? Why not... you live close to them?
In my profile, I say that coffee is one of the six things I can't live without... why not say, "Hey it looks like you really like coffee. There's a cool coffee shop close to my apartment/house that brews a mean cup of espresso. You would probably like it! Let me know if you're ever in the area, I can buy you a cup."

Not... "hey, we live near each other, so it shouldn't be too hard for you to meet me."

Am I the only one that sees a fundamental difference in how that question is asked, and what that says about him?

3/11/2014 1:44:33 PM

Tinder sucks. Half of the chicks never reply.

3/11/2014 1:44:52 PM

^^ you would find something wrong if he wrote it the way you want.

OMG. HE WANTS TO HAVE COFFEE NEAR HIS APARTMENT SO HE CAN DRUG ME AND TAKE ME BACK TO HIS APARTMENT TO RAPE ME!! HOW DARE HE ASK ME ABOUT COFFEE!!!

3/11/2014 1:47:41 PM

Of course they don't. But what else am I going to do on the shitter at work?

3/11/2014 1:48:43 PM

pretty much the only time i use it

3/11/2014 1:52:59 PM

Quote :

"OMG. HE WANTS TO HAVE COFFEE NEAR HIS APARTMENT SO HE CAN DRUG ME AND TAKE ME BACK TO HIS APARTMENT TO RAPE ME!! HOW DARE HE ASK ME ABOUT COFFEE!!!"

Where are you getting this from? I went on a first date with a guy a few weeks ago, and I went to his house first. It wasn't a big deal.

3/11/2014 1:54:25 PM

Well to give the other side of the story my fiance said after our first date she thought I may be a little crazy. She decided to give me a second date to see if it went better and now well it obviously worked out.

I made the mistake of when she asked what I had been up to that day I said I had been mostly cleaning my apartment just in case she wanted to come over after the date (we went somewhere a few minutes away from my place). She initially took that to mean I was crazy and expecting her to come back to my place. Once she got to know me she realized I was just geniunely nice and wanted my place to look nice on the small chance she may want to simply hang out more after the date.

I guess the thing here is that how people perceive things can sometimes be all wrong just because you assume someone means something they dont. I told her when we first started messaging each other that I thought she sounded kind of condescending or above me just based on the questions she was asking and how they were worded. Once we met though I realized she was genuinely interested I just took it the wrong way. That's the biggest problem with online dating I suppose until you have actually gone out a few times.

3/11/2014 2:04:23 PM

I'm gonna go on OKC and message some females with

"Hi, I saw your profile and you seem pretty interesting. I'd love to get to know a little more about you. Btw, I'm a huge asshole and you'll never walk all over me like a doormat. Holler!"

3/11/2014 2:13:37 PM

I would imagine you'd get more responses than saying you're a nice guy

3/11/2014 2:15:06 PM

see, that's still better. you referred to the profile, and said something about yourself.

3/11/2014 2:16:02 PM

I had a friend in college that would go up to like 10 different girls at the bar and be like 'you wanna go suck my dick in the parking lot?'

He would get slapped 9/10 times but he almost always got some dome.

Sometimes the brazen strategy works. No one likes nice guys.

3/11/2014 3:11:23 PM

Ask enough drunk girls and one is bound to be a whore I suppose lol

3/11/2014 3:45:20 PM

I like legitimately nice people, and I think it's fine to describe yourself that way. I don't think your average person is up on semantics. Nice guy still means nice guy.

^^LOL, has that joke really evolved to 9/10 slaps? Thirty years ago, it was 99/100. That's a dramatic increase in parking lot sex.

[Edited on March 11, 2014 at 3:52 PM. Reason : LOL]

3/11/2014 3:47:23 PM

but...if you aren't interested, an overwhelming majority of messages sent by "nice guys" devolve into messages such as:

"GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SELFISH WHORE"

"oh i get it...you can't be bothered to reply to someone who will treat you like a queen. enjoy your life with some low life douche bag who will probably cheat on you and beat you"

"you're not as pretty as you think you are"

"you don't know what you're missing out on, i hope you get herpes from all the losers you're going to fuck on here"


[Edited on March 11, 2014 at 3:58 PM. Reason : and that's from simply not replying to an initial message]

3/11/2014 3:57:43 PM

#truthhurts

3/11/2014 3:59:01 PM

^^I hear ya! That's precisely what I described at the top of this page. I've been trying to explain it to people for over a decade so I'm glad everybody is hip to it.

But there are plenty of folks who aren't familiar with that phenomenon, and they will describe themselves as "nice" without understanding the connotations. And they may actually be nice people.

3/11/2014 4:13:54 PM

whatever happened to the "nice guys on okcupid" tumblr....? that shit was HILARIOUS!

3/11/2014 4:21:13 PM

http://okcupidsniceguys.tumblr.com/

I don't think this is the right one actually. But still, LOLOLOLOL



And I've never been on a dating site, but looking at that tumblr reminded me that I was the worst about judging guys' profiles when I helped my friend on Match. She didn't know who Ayn Rand was, and I told her that Rand was the favorite author of Robbie on Dirty Dancing. On that point alone, we proceeded to next like half the dudes she was talking to.

[Edited on March 11, 2014 at 4:37 PM. Reason : ]

3/11/2014 4:23:26 PM

I'd imagine the females who actually are fed up with assholes and douchebags and who DO want a nice guy probably don't go on internet dating sites

or they just go on farmersonly.com or christianmingle


[Edited on March 11, 2014 at 4:42 PM. Reason : .]

3/11/2014 4:41:33 PM

nice internet christians

hmm

3/11/2014 6:41:14 PM

Going back to my topic of my observations regarding short girls tending to have a preference for guys substantially taller than them and more picky about dating guys on the higher side of the distribution curve. I went through my daily matches today and noticed teh following

Her Height: _____ Ideal Match Height:
5'5" _____________ 5'8"+
5'2" _____________ 5'11"+
5'3" _____________ 5'10"+
5'5" _____________ 5'6"+
5'6" _____________ 5'7"+
5'8" _____________ 5'8"+
5'7" _____________ 5'10" +
5'4" _____________ 5'9"+

So I can understand the 5'7" girl that wants a guy who is taller than her even when she has on her 3" heels. There is also a girl I'm chatting with right now that is 5'2" whose ideal height is listed as 6'+. I'm 5'8" so either she must not care too much and my opener really caught her attention ( She had European listed and she was impressed I guessed Eastern Euro and impressed form my travels to Europe).



[Edited on March 23, 2014 at 1:43 PM. Reason : l]

3/23/2014 1:41:31 PM

Maybe the really short girls are just underestimating mens heights

3/23/2014 5:59:58 PM

Shit, I'm 6 foot

And I weigh 320 pounds

3/23/2014 6:29:58 PM

you didnt bother sorting that on either column?? lazy

Her Height: _____ Ideal Match Height:
5'2" _____________ 5'11"+
5'3" _____________ 5'10"+
5'4" _____________ 5'9"+
5'5" _____________ 5'8"+
5'5" _____________ 5'6"+
5'6" _____________ 5'7"+
5'7" _____________ 5'10" +
5'8" _____________ 5'8"+

and you have 55 twice

[Edited on March 23, 2014 at 6:50 PM. Reason : a]

3/23/2014 6:49:41 PM

there were two 5'5" girls on my daily lists. Match gives you 8-10 girls to check out per day, I guess in case you are too lazy to search through all the matches haha.

3/23/2014 7:39:13 PM

I'm constantly amazed/horrified by the amount of nude/dick pics that guys throw up on their profiles. I see them constantly when I moderate. Who thinks that's a good idea?

3/24/2014 10:43:24 AM

when you moderate what?

3/24/2014 12:28:12 PM

I have some moderation privileges on the site, pretty much to just review pictures flagged by other users and delete them if inappropriate.

3/24/2014 12:40:38 PM

what are the terms? are nipples okay?

3/24/2014 12:46:11 PM

do they pay you to moderate or are you looking at dick pics for free?


if for free- why?

3/24/2014 12:47:00 PM

You have to be in the pic, no nudity, no extreme close ups. Pretty basic.

No $$$ but it's entertaining to click through some of the shit people try to post up. Sure, I run across the occasional dick, but I get an almost equal amount of tit/bush.

3/24/2014 1:22:38 PM

Quote :

"You have to be in the pic, no nudity, no extreme close ups. Pretty basic. No $$$ but it's entertaining to click through some of the shit people try to post up. Sure, I run across the occasional dick, but I get an almost equal amount of tit/bush."

Man, I guess...

3/24/2014 4:00:33 PM

Agent 0 says he like to get a sampling of some of the dick pics you receive, for research.

3/24/2014 4:04:39 PM

I'm confused that the argument for why they'd be burdened with looking at uploaded dick pics is that it's a necessary evil to seeing pics (PICS!!! in 2014) of random girls naked. I guess if voyeurism is your thing, it makes a slight bit of sense, but like, dogg, something about performing that task uncompensated doesn't add up.

3/24/2014 4:12:18 PM

as if seeing a dick pic is the.worst.thing.ever.

it's not like he's seeking them out - I think moderating a dating site would be pretty interesting.

3/24/2014 4:23:12 PM

If I had a decent amount of free time that shit would be pretty entertaining. Who cares about the occasional dick pic...you see monster dick every time you watch a porn.

3/24/2014 4:49:02 PM

Quote :

"you see monster dick every time you watch a porn."

not necessarily.....

3/24/2014 4:53:31 PM

I guess that's what I can't wrap my brain around. The time-value seems out of proportion to the benefit incurred.

But who am I to judge. We all like our own weird shit.

3/25/2014 10:09:29 AM

you have no idea of the time commitment, or even if there is one (for all we know it could be a situation where anytime he has 5 min to spare, he can log and and do some moderatin'). Sounds like it'd be quite entertaining to see this shit. Hopefully he also gets to read flagged messages too

3/25/2014 10:24:30 AM

you don't have to moderate a certain amount. you can just log in and look through a few flagged messages and photos and move along. there's no commitment whatsoever

3/25/2014 11:24:46 AM

You guys are riding out hard for the right to casually look at dicks sprinkled in with what is already readily obtainable all over the internet. Don't let me stand in your way.

3/25/2014 11:52:18 AM

anyone can moderate i think

http://www.okcupid.com/flagmod

3/25/2014 12:16:42 PM

Yeah, pretty sure I checked it out once out of curiosity.
I just saw a few dumb pics of people's pets and moved on.

3/25/2014 12:52:44 PM

Quote :

"You have to be in the pic, no nudity, no extreme close ups. Pretty basic."

For some reason Match would not let me use a recent picture i uploaded from the Color Me Green Run as my "Main Profile Picture".

My face was clear in the photo (there was minimal green paint on my face just some splatter), >70% of the people around me during group shot are cropped out, & I was clearly the person in the picture.

l

[Edited on March 26, 2014 at 10:07 AM. Reason : l]

3/26/2014 10:06:44 AM