I can't wait til season 4 comes out, thats when things start getting crazy.

9/27/2001 8:37:45 AM

Hahaha Flavadave. that episode was funny as hell.

"The bee bit my bottom! Now my bottom's big!"

I can't wait til the who sht mr. burns episodes are on dvd.

"Take that, Kwick-E-Mart! Take that, Moe's Tavern! Take that, Nuclear Power Plant! Oh, fiddlesticks."

[Edited on September 27, 2001 at 1:09 PM. Reason : dvlsafdbafdhrt]

9/27/2001 1:08:12 PM

Yeah its one of my favorites.

I remember in the 138th (I think that's right) episode spectacular Troy McClure was going over the alternative ending to who shot Mr. Burns, where smithers is the shooter:


"But for that ending to work, you would have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence and that would be downright nutty"

[Edited on September 27, 2001 at 5:29 PM. Reason : cccccccc]

9/27/2001 5:27:35 PM

I found these two online: They are fucking great

Quote :

"Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers are watching Kidz Newz and Bart is reporting on "a man and his ducks." With tears in their eyes, Burns turns to Smithers and says, "Smithers. Do you think the chemicals from my plant kiled those ducks?" Without wasting a second, Smithers says, "There's no doubt about it sir." Still with tears in his eyes Burns says, "Excellent" and wipes his eyes. Or how about the time Burns was casting the role of himself for the Springfield film festival. Bumble bee man comes on stage and says "Excellente." Troy Muclur says, "Excellent. You may remember from such films as Christams Ape and Christams Ape Goes To School." Then Homer gets on stage and says "Exactly." Another moment of true brilliance from Homer. "

9/27/2001 7:41:00 PM

I thought it was "Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp".

9/27/2001 7:44:43 PM

"How many monkey butlers?"

"One at first, but he'll train others."

9/27/2001 8:37:42 PM

Kevin is correct.

9/27/2001 9:39:27 PM

Homer: ...And this perpetual motion machine she made today is a joke! It just keeps going faster and faster... Lisa! Get in here. In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

9/28/2001 12:23:07 AM

"dont ask me, Im your hair, your head stopped 18in ago."

9/28/2001 1:35:39 AM

Go Banana!!!!

9/28/2001 12:39:43 PM

Mr. Hutz, Mr. Hutz.

Get away from my stuff!!!!!! Oh wait a minute, this isn't the YMCA.

9/28/2001 12:50:40 PM

homer to mr burns...

"oh will you call the dogs on me this time? or the killer bees? or the dogs that are filled with killer bees so that when they bark, they shoot killer bees out of their mouths?"

9/28/2001 12:53:25 PM

Do your worst. He locked the door! I'll show him! *rings doorbell and runs* Teeheehee!

9/28/2001 12:54:36 PM

The Simpsons' Blackboard Openings
Did you ever wonder just what Bart was writing on the blackboard every week? Like me, have you ever taped the show just so you could slow it down and read what was there? Well, wonder no more. They're all here.

Enjoy.

Garlic gum is not funny

I will not aim for the head

I will not skateboard in the halls

I will not burp in class

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

I will not instigate revolution

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

I will not draw naked ladies in class

I will not conduct my own fire drills

I did not see Elvis

I will return the seeing-eye dog

Funny noises are not funny

I will not bury the new kid

I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"

I will not snap bras

I will not fake seizures

They are laughing at me, not with me

I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom

My name is not Dr. Death

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not defame New Orleans

I will not fake my way through life

I will not waste chalk

I will not prescribe medication

Tar is not a plaything

I will not Xerox my butt

I will not teach others to fly

It's potato, not potatoe

I will not bring sheep to class

I will not trade pants with others

This punishment is not boring and meaningless

A burp is not an answer

The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy

I am not a 32 year old woman

Teacher is not a leper

I will not do that thing with my tongue

Coffee is not for kids

I will not drive the principal's car

I will not eat things for money

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call

I will not sell school property

The principal's toupee is not a frisbee

I will not cut corners

I will not squeak chalk

I do not have diplomatic immunity

I will not charge admission to the bathroom

I will not get very far with this attitude Goldfish don't bounce

I will not make flatulent noises in class

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

I will not belch the National Anthem

No one is interested in my underpants

I will not sell land in Florida

I will not sell miracle cures

Underwear should be worn on the inside

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

The Christmas pageant does not stink

I will not do anything bad ever again

I will not torment the emotionally frail

I will not show off

I will not barf unless I'm sick

I will not call the principal "spud head"

I will not carve gods

I will not sleep through my education

I will not spank others

I am not a dentist

I will not bribe Principal Skinner

Spitwads are not free speech

I will finish what I start

Nobody likes sunburn slappers

I will not grease the monkey bars

"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender

High explosives and school don't mix

Hamsters cannot fly

All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy

I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

I will not go near the kindergarten turtle

I am not deliciously saucy

Organ transplants are best left to the professionals

I will not send lard through the mail

I will not use abbrev.

Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal

Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

I will not dissect things unless instructed

I will not hang donuts on my person

No one wants to hear my armpits

Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

I will not strut around like I own the place

Next time it could be me on the scaffolding

The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far

I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist

I am not a lean mean spitting machine

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan

I will not whittle hall passes out of soap

There are plenty of businesses like show business

Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things

I do not have power of attorney over first graders

Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr

I will remember to take my medication

I am not certified to remove asbestos

"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice

I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball

The boys room is not a water park

Beans are neither fruit nor musical

Nerve gas is not a toy

"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism

The First Amendment does not cover burping

Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough

The Truth is not out there

9/28/2001 12:54:43 PM

"Marge maybe its the beer talking but you gotta butt that wont quit...mmmdhhehdhd...they got these big chewy pretzels....mfhhdyedhdd...FIVE DOLLARS."

9/28/2001 1:49:23 PM

Homer: "Hmm, Well behaved kids, sisters-in-law dead, luxury sadan. It doesn't get any better than this. Honey, will you pass me the donuts?"

Marge: "What are donuts?"

Homer: "Aaaahhhh" (Runs screeming into the basement and uses the time travel toaster)

(Marge and the kids see donuts falling from the sky)

Marge: "Look, it's raining again"

9/28/2001 2:59:15 PM

Homer: "Ohh. Erotic cake"

9/28/2001 3:00:40 PM

and of course homers "mmmmmm....forbidden donut...mmmmmmm"

9/28/2001 3:44:01 PM

Disco Stu doesnt advertise........

9/28/2001 7:35:19 PM

"And remember Ralphie, if your nose starts bleeding it's because you're picking it too much...or not enough."

9/29/2001 9:51:32 AM

I am so smart, I am so smart! S M R T, I mean S M A R T!

9/29/2001 5:59:05 PM

"he cant hold his breath forever"

"and if he can cheif?"

"then god help us all"

9/30/2001 10:30:50 PM

SEASON PREMIERE

MONDAY OCTOBER 1ST 8:00pm on FOX!

9/30/2001 10:36:03 PM

woohoo!

9/30/2001 10:39:31 PM

that's incorrect. the fox website says

SEASON PREMIERE - Sunday, November 4th at 8PM/7C

and I think theres a haloween episode oct. 30

9/30/2001 11:07:20 PM

"I will send bart the money to get home, then i will murder him"

10/1/2001 2:43:00 PM

Is this car $15,000?

It is now.

10/1/2001 2:49:33 PM

"Pray for Mojo"

"hey, i can call my mom from up here, HEY MA, GET OFF THA DANG ROOF!"- Cletus

10/1/2001 3:19:11 PM

whoops...my mistake

SPECIAL TIME MONDAY OCTOBER 1st 8:00pm

[Edited on October 1, 2001 at 5:02 PM. Reason : !]

10/1/2001 5:01:11 PM

Lisa and grandpa are in a conversation about how neither of them gets any attention b/c they are too young and too old.
Then Homer comes in and says I'm a white male aged 18-49, everyone listens to me:
Pulls out a can that says "Nuts N Gum, TOGETHER AT LAST"

10/1/2001 5:46:10 PM

Homer- "well, turn something on, I'm startin' to think!"

10/1/2001 7:45:02 PM

10/1/2001 8:18:33 PM

Hi, I'm Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.

Homer Simpson, smiling politely.

10/1/2001 8:29:33 PM

"hey, how come nothing happened to millhouse?"

"sooooo cold....so very very cold"

10/2/2001 1:35:01 PM

Just put an X and call yourself whatever the hell you want.

10/4/2001 12:27:37 AM

"mono...d'oh"

10/7/2001 10:29:19 PM

ANYONE HAVE ANY CLUE WHEN PHISH IS GOING TO BE ON THE SIMPSONS THIS SEASON??

hit me up with an email if you do

10/8/2001 3:19:46 AM

10/10/2001 12:54:28 AM

marge - now homer, lets get you home and get some beer in you and get you in bed.
homer - woohoo, beer beer beer, bed bed bed

10/10/2001 8:26:44 AM

Simpson, go kiss the virtual ass.

10/10/2001 11:46:07 AM

From the episode where Homer and Bart are grifters
Homer: I tell u, my memory is fuzzy, FUZZY!
Prosecutor: Would you say that your memory is as fuzzy as Willie's beard?
Homer: Yes, Yes!, I mean, No.


Bart: So you mean to tell me that everyone in town was in on this?
Marge: Yep, Everyone!
Willie: Willie wasn't!

10/10/2001 1:08:46 PM

She needs premium, duuuude!

PREEEEMIUUUUM!

10/10/2001 2:17:27 PM

What's going on this side?

10/10/2001 2:26:08 PM

Mind the skunks. Theys stink can go off even after theys dead.

10/10/2001 2:40:46 PM

Heh heh heh. Oh, Andy Capp. You wife-beating drunk. Heh heh heh.

10/10/2001 2:42:38 PM

We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville.
Just tell us your idea, and we'll vote for it!

10/10/2001 2:44:38 PM

Simpson, you're like the son I never had.

And you're like the father I never visit.

10/10/2001 2:49:25 PM

Looks like Springfield has a discipline problem.

Yeah! That's probably why we beat them in football nearly half the time!

10/10/2001 3:05:14 PM

there's no greater joy in life than a monkey knifefight

10/10/2001 9:26:50 PM

Who huddle!

10/10/2001 9:55:22 PM