6

10/6/2004 3:58:13 PM

Brasky forced Mr. T to wear his hair in the same style as Brasky's pubic hair

10/6/2004 3:59:45 PM

Bill Brasky has some sort of weird fascination with the A-Team doesn't he....w

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 4:02 PM. Reason : asdaf]

10/6/2004 4:02:06 PM

Bill Brasky killed and ate Chester A Arthur, but finished his term in the white house for him

Nice guy that bill brasky

10/6/2004 4:02:53 PM

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky came to my superbowl party? Anyway he shows up with a case of beer. I ask him to give me a can and he shakes it up for 10 whole minutes. Well when I open that can it explodes and the shrapnel kills my friends and robs me of the use of my legs but I'll be damned if the liquid in the twisted remains of that can wasn't the most refreshing beer I've ever had!!

10/6/2004 4:03:13 PM

I took Brasky to the floor of the new york stock exchange

Well, long story short, pig bellies will never rebound, marth stewart is going to jail, and i think Brasky may own the Daewoo motor company

10/6/2004 4:06:07 PM

Did I ever tell you about the time a woman kicked Brasky in the nuts? Anyway, this gal kicks Brasky in the sac. He chloroforms her right then and there. Then he takes her back to his basement where he keeps her sedated for a period of 3 months. During this time Brasky is researching nerve reconnection and tissue regeneration. Well he steals some guys genitals and in a tense and grueling operation, he manages to successfully graft them to this woman. After spending another 6 months nursing her back to full health he lined her up and kicked her square in the balls. It hurt, but I'll be damned if him and her haven't been the best of friends ever since.

10/6/2004 4:09:57 PM

I heard he uses a flatbed truck for a skateboard and the grand canyon as a halfpipe.

10/6/2004 4:11:35 PM

When Brasky opens his eyes wide enough it's said you can see eternity in there, like a quantum singularity, but meaner. Looking in Brasky's eyes is what really crippled Steven Hawking.

10/6/2004 4:12:00 PM

You know how some people put a pencil behind their ear to keep track of it? Well Brasky can't be bothered to get the right angle, he just stabs the pencil into the side of his head until he needs it

10/6/2004 4:18:03 PM

Brasky once faxed Johnny Carson a living cat

10/6/2004 4:18:50 PM

So Brasky and I were working late one night in the electronic music studio at Cambridge, and he was having trouble coming up with a generic-yet-innovative growl sound to use in his latest tape composition. In a last-ditch attempt to create the sound he needed, Brasky plunged his mighty fists into the earth and plucked a nefarious demon from the hellfires. He proceeded to prod it in various places and ream its anus with a plumber's snake while it made various screams and cries that were not understandable by a normal person into the studio microphone. Once he got the sounds recorded, he gently placed the nefarious demon where he found it. He then applied some ingenious delay effects and ran it through a granular synthesizer to make the most compelling electronically modified sound EVER. And I'll be damned if Puff Daddy didn't sample it!

10/6/2004 4:24:44 PM

Bill Brasky started the first college message board, he named it http://www.thebraskyweb.com
Brasky used it to meet three of the most powerful men in the world

those men: bill gates, vladimir putin, and sherman helmsley

10/6/2004 4:41:35 PM

Brasky and I went to the ocean one day

and sure enough, a whale comes up
well Brasky decided then and there he wanted to make a set of bowling balls out of that whales testicles
unfortunately for Braskey, it was a female whale

but not to be stopped, Braskey sucker punches the lady whale, takes control of her with his mental powers, and begins to swim the ocean deep looking for a male whale

all the while, small children are circling Brasky on the shore, because they feel drawn to his telepathy

Brasky comes out of his trance to see the kids, and decided to take home a sack of scrotum marbles instead

every once in a while, he'll play me with those things, and he crushes all my best marbles, even my cat eyes

TO BILL BRASKY

10/6/2004 4:50:59 PM

Did tell you guys about the last time I played poker with Brasky? So we were in his basement which naturally looks exactly like Lenin's Tomb, playing 5 card draw poker. Now the pots up in the range of $30000 and a new guy from the office called Brasky. So Brasky throws down a straight from 10 to ace and the new guy smiles and throws down a full house of eights over sixes. Brasky smiles and says "I win" and the new guy says "No way! A full house beats a straight!" to which Brasky says "Look at my hand again" at which point he glares at his cards and sure enough, they all change their suits to spades, giving him a royal flush. The new guy then had the gall to call Brasky a cheat. Naturally, the new guy ran to Montana. You could hear the girlish screams from the new guy for a fort night. It took Bill three months to find him, and but only 3 days to carve out his insides and put on a low-budget production of "The Sound of Music" use only his inner organs

10/6/2004 4:59:16 PM

I saw that production off-broadway, The gall bladder's performance was wonderful as the head nun

10/6/2004 5:02:05 PM

Brasky once inhaled a beehive at a beekeeper's convention, for months afterwards you could wipe a piece of toast under his nose and enjoy the world's best honey.

10/6/2004 5:05:24 PM

to me, the best one is always:

"He date raped David Bowie."

10/6/2004 5:08:15 PM

A gust of wind blew his hat off one day so Brasky spent years researching weather manipulation. He finally developed a weather machine and stopped all the wind in the world for one minute. Millions died from the subsequent effects, including 26 members of my extended family, but I couldn't stay mad at him, because he did what he thought was right, and I respect that.

10/6/2004 5:09:06 PM

One time at my daughter's birthday party Brasky grabbed a fistfull of helium balloons and sucked in all the helium and I'll be damned if he didn't still sound like Isaac Hayes.

10/6/2004 5:14:08 PM

ok poopface, you're out of control.

10/6/2004 5:16:01 PM

^ HEY YOU DO NOT TALK TO [USER]POOPFACE[/USER] THAT WAY

10/6/2004 5:17:15 PM

whoooooooops. didn't know about the order of protection.

[Edited on October 6, 2004 at 5:19 PM. Reason : .]

10/6/2004 5:17:54 PM

and while we're on the subject .... don't talk about saps852 badly either (just in case you thought about it)

10/6/2004 5:20:52 PM

Did I ever tell you the time Brasky and me went to get tattoos? Well, he was getting life-size picture of Jessica Tandy on his right forearm. Well, I was going to get a dragon or something to go with the other tattoos I had on my arms when Brasky tells the guy to tattoo a little Brasky on my shoulder. Well, I wasn't about to turn down a good idea like that so I told the guy to do it. Turned out pretty good too. Of course, within 2 hours the tattoo brasky had painfully removed all the other tattoos on my body and then raped me while I slept.

10/6/2004 5:22:56 PM

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky guest-starred on the old Batman series? Well Brasky shows up on the set at 9 am. Drunk. Anyway, Brasky shows up and says ‘Time to control the pet population’ and he spays Catwoman with his pocket knife in front of the entire cast. They say it’s the only time the Joker ever stopped smiling.

10/6/2004 5:45:15 PM

i thought about drinking some ginger ale after reading that

then i thought about it again, and decided not drinking was the safe bet

TO BILL BRASKY

10/6/2004 5:53:59 PM

So Brasky and I are at a red light and this squeegy kid comes up to the car and says "wash your windows for a buck?" Brasky says "okay", gets out of the car, gives him a dollar and proceeds to wash his own windshield with the squeegy kid. Then he crumples him up and throws him in a trash can across the street. And I'll be damned if the gleam off that windshield didn't cause a 50 car pile up!

10/6/2004 5:54:46 PM

Bill Brasky was hitchhiking through germany, when he wound up at a german brewery
unable to stand the smell, brasky found a sheep, gutted it, and wrapped the innards around his head, creating an impenatrable smell-helmet

long story short, in one day, Bill Brasky revolutionized the world of prophylactics, beer-making, astrophysics, and ball-room dancing

10/6/2004 6:14:02 PM

Brasky created the internet so he could instantly send a threatening letter to Bea Arthur

10/7/2004 12:05:34 AM

Do you guys remember the night Bill Brasky won an Espy for knocking out Corey Feldman and a colossal squid in a handicap 15 rounder for the serpentine belt of aquatic boxing?

10/7/2004 2:41:36 AM

The show 'Sex and the City' was originally about Brasky raping the city of Cleveland!

10/7/2004 2:45:46 AM

He once stopped a speeding bullet just by glaring at it, then it retreated back into the gun barrel and reattached itself to the cartridge, whimpering in fear the whole time.

10/7/2004 2:48:46 AM

so Danny is it that time of night at ya'lls place where you and saps plant yourselves in front of the computers and post?

10/7/2004 2:50:24 AM

everyone's left man, i'm the only one up

10/7/2004 2:51:35 AM

Give him some dental floss and a pair of flip flops, and Bill Brasky can manufacture anthrax.

10/7/2004 2:52:33 AM

10/7/2004 3:59:08 AM

He uses crude oil for a mud bath, and by the time he's done there's not a drop left in the tub and his skin has a luster you could lose yourself in.

10/7/2004 4:04:33 AM

Bill Brasky has the world's most extensive collection of animal feces. Some compare Brasky's collection to what must have been at the bottom of Noahs Ark

10/7/2004 10:49:50 AM

Bill Brasky once arm wrestled Sylvester Stallone using only his penis, and won - he slapped him across the face with it afterwards to increase the shame.

10/7/2004 10:52:18 AM

They say he goes about 8' 9, 749 lbs!

10/7/2004 10:57:30 AM

Brasky once rode Mark Twain like a bicycle. Single handedly won the Tour de France he did. He had Twain sealed in quartz and put in a museum where he resides to this day

10/7/2004 10:57:44 AM

Brasky once demanded that I kill my first born son and you can bet your sweet ass that I did it! No regrets.

10/7/2004 11:19:10 AM

Well, you know Bill Brasky's a son of a bitch

10/7/2004 11:22:05 AM

Brasky went fox hunting at 5 a.m. in July wearing snow boots and a scarf. He ran straight through the state of Montana to catch this one fox, and I'll be damned if he didn't run smack into an Indian Reservation. They made Brasky chief and all the men begged Brasky to have sex with their wives. He never caught that fox.

10/7/2004 11:24:21 AM

He taught my children about the birds and the bees by forcing birds and bees to have sex with each other! And I'll be damned if it wasn't the most moving display of inter-species love that I've ever seen!

10/7/2004 11:34:24 AM

courtesy of FroshKiller

Quote :

"Bill Brasky called to cancel his order for Enzyte, and when I told him he couldn't return it, he made the pills magically appear in my hand. Then he strangled me...with his penis...over the PHONE!"

10/7/2004 2:58:36 PM

[Edited on October 7, 2004 at 3:00 PM. Reason : oh man]

10/7/2004 2:58:42 PM

6.96

10/7/2004 3:01:30 PM

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky dressed up like a clown for my son's birthday? Anyway, Brasky shows up with a bottle of scotch in his hand, DRUNK and he proceeds to make balloon animals out of his penis for the kids! Then for fun he crapped on the Barbeque. But I'll be damned if the kids didn't love him. We had him back every year since!

10/7/2004 3:01:38 PM