karma for making fun of them.

[Edited on August 19, 2011 at 2:01 PM. Reason : lp78 pwnt]

8/19/2011 1:59:27 PM

probably

8/19/2011 2:01:04 PM

I've found that a humorous profile can overcome busted pictures.

8/30/2011 4:58:29 PM

Came across a wolf webber on OKC.... which made me come here since I hadn't been to TWW in forever. Whassup peeps?!

11/16/2011 1:02:05 PM

i had forgotten all about okcupid again

11/16/2011 1:03:35 PM

^^who?

11/16/2011 1:05:29 PM

forgot I had an account on that site ...haven't visited it in years, but I still get their stupid spam mail

11/16/2011 1:06:26 PM

Breezie4sheezie

[Edited on November 16, 2011 at 1:08 PM. Reason : l]

11/16/2011 1:08:15 PM

browsing for fun and laughs or window shopping?

11/16/2011 1:09:34 PM

I'm always on there window shopping

People suck at replying back to emails though

11/16/2011 1:10:31 PM

^ Ditto... tho I'm the one who's bad at replying. I get too many crap emails, so pretty much my first 3 sentences on OKC is to discourage the idiots who write them.

11/16/2011 1:24:56 PM

truth

I always respond if I'm interested or not....just so they know FO SHO

11/16/2011 1:25:57 PM

^^ Hey look if I take the time to email you about how I want to wear your skin while having sex with your dead corpse, the least you could do is reply.

11/16/2011 1:28:42 PM

Quote :

"I always respond if I'm interested or not....just so they know FO SHO"

Umm.. you mean you reply to boost your reply rate which other people see when browsing profiles.

11/16/2011 1:32:28 PM

Quote :

"i have a fake account where i can lol at the fatties with which it tries to hook me up "

11/16/2011 1:36:19 PM

^^I didn't think about that...hmmm guess my reply rate is fantastic huh

11/16/2011 1:40:31 PM

Quote :

"I get too many crap emails, so pretty much my first 3 sentences on OKC is to discourage the idiots who write them."

What kind of crap messages do you get? I'm kind of curious. Just... plz to post some here

11/16/2011 1:41:40 PM

Quote :

"hi, great smile and profile I just like to be upfront that I am not looking for anything serious but I would love to grab a drink and, perhaps, some inappropriate touching ...if we like each other of course I am respectful, love good conversation with new people, and I am quite sweet(unless I am asked not to be). Or if you just want to chat and tell some stories- that works also. Let me know if you are looking for an interesting distraction."

Quote :

"Hey sexy how are you"

Quote :

"how are you even single, do u enjoy wine?"

Quote :

"hi my name is master todand i am 34 yars old and in to bdsm i have been a masterfor 5 years so if you are intrested Im me back in the next 5 min"

Quote :

"I'm pretty sure I might love you lol 9196066262 you should def text me"

11/16/2011 1:50:46 PM

here's an example of a good email:

Quote :

" Your profile is fun! Before I start asking you questions, I just want to be clear about one thing. If you've already read "The Alloy of Law," please don't tell me what happens! Regardless, you should look at this: http://www.box.net/shared/static/a6omcl2la0ivlxsn3o8m.jpg (It's not porn. Well ... it's not mainstream porn. Trust me.) Questions: 1) In that first picture where I'm looking at your beautiful eyes, does the lake happen to be in a volcano in Oregon? If so, I think I've been there too! If not, well ... then you probably think I'm crazy. That's okay, but you should google "Newberry caldera" because it's cool. 2) What do you think about Blizzard giving away Diablo 3 for free to members who sign up for a full year of WoW? Bonus question: what do you think about the real-money auction house in Diablo 3? 3) According to NC state law, "Elephants may not be used to plough cotton fields." That sounds perfectly sensible to me. Which utterly arcane and stupid laws could you possibly be referring to?"

11/16/2011 1:53:53 PM

^ Not trying to be a dick, but I'm sure your profile provokes responses like that.

also, for the dudes, post some fat chick emails. I know there are TONS of examples....

11/16/2011 1:54:16 PM

OMG SEND MASTER TOD MY WAY

wtf

11/16/2011 1:54:50 PM

hahahahhaha i loved that last email with the numbering. keep em coming. these are great.

11/16/2011 1:57:08 PM

Quote :

"Hello, My name is ++++++ and I really liked your profile. I live here in the Smithfield/Wilson Mills area of North Carolina from England. I am stationed at Seymour Johnson AFB in Goldsboro NC. I’m originally from Westminster Maryland so I won’t be too far from home!!! Can’t wait to get me some Maryland Crabs!!!!! I’m sure they are good in North Carolina as well.. Let me tell you a little about myself so you can decide if you wish to reply back to me or not. I am in the United States Air Force. I have been in over 11 years now and have been stationed at 7 bases. I was in Germany (May 99-May 01 & Feb 05-Feb 07), South Dakota (Jun 01-Oct 02), Korea (Oct 02-Oct 03 & Feb 07-Feb 0, Guam (Oct 03-Jan 05) and England (April 08-April 10). I enjoy being in the military because it has given me a chance to see the world and experience new cultures and ways of doing things. My hobbies are camping, fishing, playing and watching sports, UFC, skiing, BBqing with friends, Pro Wrestling (I know its fake but loved it since I was little..lol), going to pubs with friends, reading, watching movies (own almost 2000 DVDs), traveling etc… I have traveled all over the world from Korea, Japan, Singapore, Thailand, China, Guam, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Italy, England, Germany, Belgium, Luxembourg, Holland, France, Switzerland, Greece and Austria. I have been all over the US as well. There are still many places I would love to see. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go and why? I like hearing peoples answers to that. I can be described as funny, smart, ok looking, adventurous and really good in bed…lol… Please tell me some about you..What are your likes and dislikes? What do you do for fun? I’m sorry if there is a lot here to read but I just wanted you to know a bit about me and decide if you would like to know more and maybe hang out here in North Carolina. I hope to hear from you soon and until then take care of yourself . +++++ xoxoxox"

That's exactly how it was sent...I was like OMG WORDS

11/16/2011 2:02:33 PM

lol a few things....

1. i love how he named every single country he has been to. he could have summed it up.
2. he called himself okay looking
3. he said he's really good in bed

11/16/2011 2:05:02 PM

LOL I didn't even read it

my brain shuts off with that many words are crammed together

11/16/2011 2:05:34 PM

reply: tl;dr

11/16/2011 2:05:48 PM

Quote :

"HEY BEAUTIFUL HOW U DOING 2 DAY,JUST STOPPING BY 2 SAY HI AND WANA CHAT SO HIT ME BACK LETS CHAT MORE SWEETY?"

how hard is it to type TODAY? Yet you can type STOPPING or BEAUTIFUL?

shit like that pisses me off

11/16/2011 2:07:11 PM

caps lock

11/16/2011 2:08:00 PM

^yes

11/16/2011 2:08:30 PM

I <3 okc.

So I was at a pool party this past summer and was totally naked and saw this guy that was cute but looked familiar... Turns out we'd exchanged a few emails on okc. Turned out to be a good way to start a conversation Unfortunately, he was fully dressed... and he'd started dating someone already, but oh well.

[Edited on November 16, 2011 at 2:11 PM. Reason : ff]

11/16/2011 2:10:32 PM

i automatically judge and disregard ANY adult who messages me via any medium in text speak



[Edited on November 16, 2011 at 2:14 PM. Reason : even texting]

11/16/2011 2:11:00 PM

I don't know why that just made me chuckle

but oh well

11/16/2011 2:11:02 PM

I talked to a girl on match who used "gud" for "good." needless to say, we never met up. Girl I'm going out with now isn't a retard so that is gud.

11/16/2011 2:19:19 PM

lol so gud gud gud

11/16/2011 2:20:20 PM

i tried okc and pof but came up empty, but it's all good because i found a girlfriend outside of that shit.

11/16/2011 2:24:00 PM

finally

11/16/2011 2:26:02 PM

finally, the truth

11/16/2011 2:30:50 PM

Good lord, some of the people they try to match me up with in Quiver Matches


Then again they're probably not even trying since I haven't touched my profile or pictures in 3-4 years...shit that was before I started shaving my head

11/16/2011 2:33:40 PM

I met my fiance on okcupid

11/16/2011 2:36:54 PM

Quote :

"So I was at a pool party this past summer and was totally naked"

I find your thoughts intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

11/16/2011 2:37:37 PM

I hate people who criticize without being specific, so I want to make a list of WHY these bad messages are bad messages.

Fails
- Asking for touching (for the record this should only qualify if it's clear from your profile that you're looking for an engagement with class)
- Claiming to be good looking, wealthy, funny, or good in bed
- "Hey beautiful", or professing instant and undying love
- Text speak, with prejudice
- Advocating an interest for which there is no indication the person is into (like BDSM)
- Copy + Paste

Both
- Complementing the person's attractiveness in pictures

Good
- Complementing the person's taste, wit, or intelligence
- Asking questions
- Referencing things from the profile

I feel like many mails are a mixed bag. Some bad ones aren't all bad, and almost no good one is all good. Like this

Quote :

"http://www.box.net/shared/static/a6omcl2la0ivlxsn3o8m.jpg (It's not porn. Well ... it's not mainstream porn. Trust me.) "

unless this stemmed from some prior conversation, it seems spamish. OKC != TWW

And ladies, plz to elaborate how and when you want to be complimented on your looks. kkthx.

[Edited on November 16, 2011 at 2:44 PM. Reason : ]

11/16/2011 2:43:42 PM

I've always found "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?" to be appropriate and entirely charming each and every time I've used it.

11/16/2011 2:45:34 PM

I've had girls tell me I'm the only guy they've emailed with that sounds like they care what they are saying and actually respond to what they write. Guess its mainly becaus I don't use this in any way as a shortcut to get laid?

[Edited on November 16, 2011 at 2:49 PM. Reason : Begs the question, what are guys saying?]

11/16/2011 2:48:45 PM

^^ Well of course, you start with some platonic conversation while indicating a positive interest and relating on the level of taste, then make a measured segway into more intimate conversation.

Quote :

"girls tell me I'm the only guy they've emailed with that sounds like they care what they are saying and actually respond to what they write"

Productive contribution? Sure. But damn your pronoun use.

[Edited on November 16, 2011 at 2:52 PM. Reason : ]

11/16/2011 2:50:33 PM

Quote :

"I hate people who criticize without being specific, so I want to make a list of WHY these bad messages are bad messages."

You wanted examples, not specifics. Here's something I wrote on OKC about specifics:

Quote :

"Messaging Tips Aug 9 I get a lot of messages. In fact, I have something like 48 messages I haven't even read yet and may never. I will grant you that a lot of those are really old from when I was dating someone and not checking okc ever. But anyways, here are my tips on how to message someone (like me) effectively. 1) Use good grammar and spelling. I especially don't click on messages where the first 5 words are done in phone format- example "hi u r hot!!". Even if it's an utter lie, good grammar and spelling at least give the appearance of some education and intelligence. 2)Not too short, not too long. Unless you're super funny, keep it less than a couple paragraphs. And, unless you can introduce yourself and ask a fascinating question in one sentence, at least write something like 3 or 4 sentences. Which brings me to my next point: 3)Ask good questions. Opinion questions are usually especially good. Too open ended and I feel like you just didn't take any time to read my profile. So for me, as opposed to "Hey, what other authors do you like?" you should ask "I didn't see _____ on your profile, have you read it?" or "I see you've read ________; I really hated that book because of _______, what do you think?". So yeah, don't just say "I like those authors too!", show off your knowledge a bit and then ask for a knowledge exchange. "

11/16/2011 2:53:46 PM

^^ lol, I'm on an iPhone and don't proofread

11/16/2011 2:55:03 PM

Quote :

"hi u r hot!!"

i will go on there and repeatedly use this now

11/16/2011 2:55:09 PM

Quote :

"- Asking for touching (for the record this should only qualify if it's clear from your profile that you're looking for an engagement with class)"

wut

11/16/2011 2:56:32 PM

^^ I will be curious as to how many replies you get.

11/16/2011 2:58:42 PM

I really hate it when:

When they type out 2934029340249247890 things on their profile, yet have absolutely nothing interesting to say (ex. "I'm into all types of music except country and [usually a derivative of country or something," and as banal as that sounds, they'll go on about how much they like Florence and the Machine or the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and think that people haven't 'heard of' those groups to the extent of having to type out something like "if you haven't heard of those groups you should definitely check them out.").

11/16/2011 2:58:57 PM