I figured with older people here, I might get better responses.

I know someone with a wife and 2 kids, one kid is 5 and the other is 2 (or so). He moved into a nice house in a nice neighborhood recently, and everything is well.

His next door neighbor rents out his house. The person who is trying to rent the house is a convicted sex offender. This of course upsets the family because they have two small children. This has caused the father to consider moving out of the neighborhood because a sex offender is moving in.

My question is (I know some of you on here are parents): What would you do in a situation like this? I'm trying to dissuade him from moving because why should he have to be the one to suffer in this situation? Unfortunately, I don't really see any other way around this situation. There's nothing legally he can do to block the person from moving in, save from convincing the home owner not to rent the house out. Any advice?

8/3/2005 10:58:06 PM

Tell the sex offender you'll give him $1000 to find another place. Money talks...And it's a lot cheaper than moving his own family.

Nah...Fuck that. No way I'd reward a person for being a sex offender.

[Edited on August 3, 2005 at 11:08 PM. Reason : l]

8/3/2005 11:08:07 PM

A co worker of mine has two small girls. About a year ago a registured sex offender moved into her neighborhood that has lots of little kids. They protested but as long as he registured and as long as everyone knows he is moving in there is nothing you can do. Shitty situation. Hopefully your friends will be a little different since he will be renting.

8/3/2005 11:09:13 PM

What an asshole neighbor. I mean seriously, if some sex offender is going to buy a house, nobody can do anything, but the neighbor has the ability to do something.

I would seriously play hard ball. Go and talk to the neighbor and request reasonably that he rent to someone else, there's no shortage of people looking to rent. If he doesn't want to play nice, then take it up a notch. Threaten to notifiy his co-workers, church, family, etc. If I had kids and lived next door, I would even go so far at to picket with signs.

It might sound narrow minded and extreme, but this is your family and children you're talking about. If all that doesn't work, baseball bats are cheap. For the neighbor.

Let us know what happens.

p.s. Does the neighborhood not have a covenant about renting?

8/4/2005 12:37:50 AM

God forbid somebody try to walk a straight and narrow path after they fuck up

8/4/2005 1:21:27 AM

http://www.stopsexoffenders.com/ssofaq.shtml

Quote :

"Q. I just found out that there's a sex offender living in my neighborhood. I fear for my children. What should I do? A. If the sex offender is registered, there is a chance that he is still on parole. If so, a restriction might be not to have access to children within a certain distance. That information may be public record. You cannot force people to move, but you can begin a neighborhood watch program. Inform everyone that there is a sex offender living in your neighborhood. If you call your local police department, they will come out and give your children safety tips. Make sure your children know who this person is, what they look like, where they live, and make sure they are told to stay far away from this person. Please make sure that they understand that if this person ever approaches them, they are to yell, run, and tell immediately. If you feel like a crime is being committed by this person, call your local law enforcement office...DO NOT take the situation into your own hands. Q. How can I find out about a sex offenders' probation? A. There are a few questions you would first need to find out. Was he imprisoned in a state, federal, or County prison? If it was the latter, he would be on probation (state & federal jail would mean parole). If a person was charged with a sex offense, he should be registered, which you will be able to find out if you visit your local sheriff's department. Depending on the state that you live in, your state may have their registry on the Internet. "

8/4/2005 1:38:45 AM

First, he needs to find out what the guy was convicted of. There are registered sex offenders that are not child molesters.

8/4/2005 7:53:10 AM

Quote :

"God forbid somebody try to walk a straight and narrow path after they fuck up"

You can make whatever gamble you want with your kids...

And Thomas, it was like 4 counts of "indecent liberties with minors"

[Edited on August 4, 2005 at 8:08 AM. Reason : .]

8/4/2005 8:05:49 AM

^^ right... did the guy molest kids, or was he 17 having sex with his 16 year old girlfriend...

and does this guy just leave his 2 year old kid outside playing by his/herself? i mean, he knows who could be living next to him, is it really that hard to watch one's children's activities?

8/4/2005 8:10:15 AM

He was convicted about a year or two ago. He's about in his 40s now.

I don't think he leaves his 2 year old outside, but when the kids get older, does that mean the parents will always be watching them outside? I don't remember being watched all the time when I was 8 or 10.

8/4/2005 8:35:52 AM

how do we know you are not the sex offender?

8/4/2005 8:53:53 AM

Dude served his time. Tell your friend to man up and talk to the guy. Ask questions. God forbid we get to know our neighbors, and God forbid we should recognize when a man's debt to society has been paid.

8/4/2005 9:04:22 AM

im curious to see if you would say that if you had kids

8/4/2005 9:05:27 AM

Yes. I won't deny that it'd weird me out—I'm animal, I'm gonna feel the impulse of fear and territoriality and all that. But I'm more importantly human and not ruled by those instincts. As a human, I value justice and compassion. I wouldn't let rumor of a convicted sex offender turn off my fucking brain.

8/4/2005 9:14:43 AM

Quote :

"when a man's debt to society has been paid."

once a child molester...

and I think his being raped in prison certainly helped his rehabilitation.

8/4/2005 9:15:16 AM

Quote :

"I wouldn't let rumor of a convicted sex offender turn off my fucking brain. "

i can understand that...except this isnt a rumor, this is fact. theres a difference.

as a human, i wouldnt be naive enough to buy into the assumption that jail "cures" criminals.

8/4/2005 9:18:03 AM

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

If it bothers him that much get the neighbors togeather and lynch the guy.

8/4/2005 9:18:47 AM

Okay, I wouldn't let the fact of it shut off my brain. I don't know that jail cures anyone, either, but I'm not gonna judge anyone by what's passed. If he steals my lawnmower, fuck him. If he keys my car, fuck him. If he plays his stereo loud at 4:00 in the morning, fuck him.

But he's had to move in and go around telling everyone he's a convicted sex offender. He knows everyone's gonna be on their guard anyway, so I kinda don't think he'd be dumb enough to try anything anyhow. And if he did, well, then my brain shuts off.

8/4/2005 9:27:06 AM

Quote :

"I kinda don't think he'd be dumb enough to try anything anyhow"

you have too much faith in people.

8/4/2005 9:31:01 AM

Or you have too little. What's the value in being cynical? That's why no one's getting better in this country.

8/4/2005 9:34:03 AM

By the way, this isn't my neighbor and I don't have kids. I'm asking for someone because he came to me for help. Quite frankly, I was at a complete loss for good advice.

8/4/2005 9:41:32 AM

Quote :

"Or you have too little."

with plenty of reason.

Quote :

"What's the value in being cynical?"

i dont call it being cynical, i call it being realistic.

there are plenty of people getting better in this country...it happens every day. but there are just as many, if not more people who always seem to fall back to the same behavior patterns. im all about taking risks, but ill be damned if im going to let any of that risk fall on my children.

8/4/2005 9:42:31 AM

Quote :

"Dude served his time. Tell your friend to man up and talk to the guy. Ask questions. God forbid we get to know our neighbors, and God forbid we should recognize when a man's debt to society has been paid. "

This is probably the dumbest thing I have ever heard....this is not a rumor that he is a sex offender....it is a fact.....you have to register after being convicted......I would go the extremist route and do whatever it takes to get him out without breaking the law yourself

Quote :

"so I kinda don't think he'd be dumb enough to try anything anyhow"

the guy was dumb enough to do it once.....for me to "kinda" think he won't do it again isn't good enough for me

8/4/2005 9:44:02 AM

Did he molest girls or boys or both? All we know is he is a sex offender taking indecent liberties with minors. That could mean he rubbed a girls shoulders and her mom didnt like it.

8/4/2005 9:47:59 AM

Just checked my ZIP code, only 14 total and none in my neighborhood. Closest one was over a mile away (1st degree rapist though).

I'd tell your friend to talk to the landlord who will be renting the house. Ask him to get specific details of what the guy did to become a sex offender.

8/4/2005 10:04:30 AM

how old was he when it happened and how old were the minors? Are you talking about him being 18 and the minor 15? If that's the case, it's the difference of being a senior and a freshman in high school.

Quote :

"He was convicted about a year or two ago. He's about in his 40s now."

nm, I need to learn to read the thread before posting.

I'd be creeped out ...

[Edited on August 4, 2005 at 10:09 AM. Reason : ]

8/4/2005 10:04:39 AM

Quote :

"That could mean he rubbed a girls shoulders and her mom didnt like it."

You think there are guys in prison for that? Seriously. The guy took indecent liberties with a minor.

I hope I am never in that situation, but I would probably:
1 - make sure all the neighbors/neighborhood is aware of the situation
2 - talk to the landlord and encourage others to do the same
3 - see if there are legal loopholes (ie, if a sex offender can't be with 100 yards of childern or something of that nature
4 - if I can't keep him from moving in and don't feel as though my kids are safe, the FOR SALE sign is going up

8/4/2005 10:05:54 AM

Quote :

"Just checked my ZIP code, only 14 total and none in my neighborhood"

damn, there are 64 in my zip code. none on my block though.

but i do live in the city, so i guess thats not a huge surprise.

[Edited on August 4, 2005 at 10:10 AM. Reason : df]

8/4/2005 10:09:42 AM

Quote :

"Dude served his time. Tell your friend to man up and talk to the guy. Ask questions. God forbid we get to know our neighbors, and God forbid we should recognize when a man's debt to society has been paid. "

FROSH WON
AGAIN...

8/4/2005 10:21:32 AM

He is asking people to take risks with their children concerning a SEXUAL OFFENDER. Even if its a small risk, its a risk most parents DO NOT WANT.

8/4/2005 10:22:55 AM

Wow, only 7 in my zip code.. that surprises me since it is inside the DC Beltway, but I guess the high real estate prices drive alot of them out. That or they just don't have any listed address because they don't have a place to live.

8/4/2005 10:23:44 AM

yeah Americans never over react

http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/7242_1451876,00180008.htm

8/4/2005 10:26:47 AM

its easy to say "just got talk to him" when you arent in that situation and have no kids.

8/4/2005 10:27:40 AM

I never have problems talking to people IRL

whether i have a issues w/ them or not

i understand that most people dont have balls and are scared of their own shadow

8/4/2005 10:29:28 AM

and people never lie

8/4/2005 10:30:15 AM

Why are you making this an intrinsic issue?

This is about peoples children.

Not their fucking ego or their bravery.

GROUND YOURSELF IN REALITY.

[Edited on August 4, 2005 at 10:33 AM. Reason : ed]

8/4/2005 10:30:50 AM

where are you going w/ that post sober

you mean, that whether you talk to someone or not, you dont know if they are telling the truth

or

are you calling me a liar?

and armabond1.....where did i say it was about that

if you have a problem with someone, confront them and have a talk about it
its not that hard.....

i understand the dude has children, but the land owner cant rent to who ever the fuck he pleases
and there isnt shit you or anyone else on here can do about it

8/4/2005 10:31:24 AM

I'm not saying that he shouldn't talk to the guy. Still, if he screwed around with kids before, the parents have every right to be apprehensive and anxious and I don't think that can be helped. What the offender says might not matter that much. People are really protective of their kids.

8/4/2005 10:36:44 AM

now, i didnt read the whole thread

but just b/c someone is a sex offender doesnt mean that he is a kid molester
has it been stated that he IS a child molester

8/4/2005 10:38:55 AM

Of course they have a right to be anxious and apprehensive. They don't have a right to let anxiety and apprehension rule their actions.

8/4/2005 10:41:42 AM

With the child murders by registered sex offenders making headlines lately, I don't think the feelings would go away any time soon.

Its just a stess that could be avoided by moving. /shrug

8/4/2005 10:43:16 AM

Quote :

"i understand that most people dont have balls and are scared of their own shadow "

THIS IS BULLSHIT TOO...IF I WAS WORRIED ABOUT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF THERE WOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE....THIS IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED WHEN THERE IS THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILDREN INVOLVED....I AM AGREEING WITH ARMBAND AND THE HIPPY ON THIS ONE...UNTIL YOU HAVE CHILDREN AND HAVE TO CARE FOR SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF THIS IS A CONCEPT YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND......

8/4/2005 10:52:23 AM

Quote :

"i understand that most people dont have balls and are scared of their own shadow "

THIS IS BULLSHIT TOO...IF I WAS WORRIED ABOUT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF THERE WOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE....THIS IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED WHEN THERE IS THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILDREN INVOLVED....I AM AGREEING WITH ARMBAND AND THE HIPPY ON THIS ONE...UNTIL YOU HAVE CHILDREN AND HAVE TO CARE FOR SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF THIS IS A CONCEPT YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND......ITS EASY TO SAY GO TALK TO HIM AND IF HE DOESN'T COOPERATE THEN BASH HIS BRAINS IN...

8/4/2005 10:53:17 AM

i agree that having a kid/s would give you another perspective on the whole subject

but still, most people are pussies and would rather just pack up and move than deal w/ a situation.

i wouldnt, and i would talk to the dude....i would express my concerns both to the landlord and the renter (sex offender)

8/4/2005 10:56:13 AM

It could be something simple like window peeping

8/4/2005 11:01:37 AM

Quote :

"where are you going w/ that post sober "

i guess im trying to convey that talking with this person doesnt eliviate the problem. i am certainly for getting to know your neighbor, but i dont think that solves this problem. many people are good at hiding their inner intentions. just because someone seems nice on the outside, or says "yeah, i had a problem, but im cured now" doesnt mean thats whats going on inside.

i personally wouldnt have a problem living around a sexual predator, but if i had kids, that would be a whole different story. ANY risk to my children would be too much (yes i know that some risks are inevitable), but if i had the opportunity to lessen that risk, then you better believe i would do that. if that means trying to get the guy to move, then so be it. if that means me moving my family, then so be it. i dont think its over reacting at all.....in fact i think its naive to just say "it wont happen to me".

if after trying to get this guy to move didnt work and i ended up moving my family, i would be more the happy to be labelled a pussy if my kids would be safer because of it.

8/4/2005 11:03:48 AM

pussy

8/4/2005 11:08:21 AM

Quote :

"i would be more the happy to be labelled a pussy if my kids would be safer because of it. "

I AGREE....IF I CAN'T GET THE OFFENDER TO MOVE THAN I'M OUT.....KNOWING MYSELF AND MY TEMPER IF I TRIED TALKING TO THE GUY IT WOULD END UP IN ME KICKING HIS ASS WHICH WOULD JUST MAKE THE SITUATION WORSE...MY SON WOULD GET RAPED AND SCARRED FOR LIFE BUT I COULD TELL HIS PHYCIATRIST (SP?) THAT AT LEAST I'M NOT A PUSSY

8/4/2005 11:17:26 AM

first, i'd tell my children never to talk to that man, and if he ever comes up to them, you run inside, and if he ever talks to you, you yell for me or mommy.

then my wife and i would visit him and let him know our issues with him, and tell him to stay away from my children.

if he so much as looked at my kids the wrong way i'd have his ass back in jail, or worse.

i'd only move out if my wife didnt feel comfortable. but i feel like i could probably manage it.

8/4/2005 11:36:06 AM

Quote :

" And if he did, well, then my brain shuts off."

but the "and if he did"

well then it is already too late. i mean, i disagree that you are shutting off your brain in this situation. more like shutting off any sympathy for this guy in favor of the safety of your children. i mean you WANT to trust someone and hope they have rehabilitated and it wont happen again. but if the state announced that jeff dahmer (i know he is dead but i cant think of a good living example) was rehabilitated, would you willingly live next to him. self-preservation is almost everyone's strongest urge...until they have children at which pt protecting those children becomes the strongest urge. you can't protect your children from all risks and force them to lead a sheltered life, but if there was a dog next door who had a tendency to bite you would want to do everything you could to put distance b/w the dog and your children.



^continuing on his post, i would even be willing to be civil to the guy. i wouldnt want to make him feel like a complete outcast in hopes that he had made changes, but you have to set up walls when it comes to your children.

i lived next door to a tranny whose father was a convicted sex offender. he was around every now and then and there were kids right next door. the next door neighbor in question was never very sociable but their other neighbors never expressed to us any fear for their kids so i dont know.


http://sbi.jus.state.nc.us/cgi-binHAHT/hsrun.hse/SOR/SOR/SOR.htx;start=HS_SORSearchFrames

ok that link doesnt work directly, but if you put in 27615, I lived at 7600 coppesmith

[Edited on August 4, 2005 at 11:57 AM. Reason : a]

8/4/2005 11:46:10 AM