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package2
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The only other thread I could find was too old to bump.

When is this movie coming to the Raleigh area?

8/7/2005 4:13:12 PM

Sousapickle
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http://www.spschat.com/RareMedia/videos/southparkjoke-thearistocrats.wmv

8/7/2005 5:01:37 PM

Amsterdam718
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i viewed the site and checked out a snippet of gilbert godfrey's take on the joke. by far the most crass I've heard. though I've heard bob saget's is pretty intense to. i think it comes to Raleigh in Sept, but I'm catching it in Miami on the 12th of Aug. I'll give a brief review here.

8/7/2005 5:05:21 PM

rufus
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a joke where the point is to be as offensive as possible doesn't seem like it would really be that funny, and if the movie is just showing a bunch of different people telling different versions of the aristocrats, then it seems the movie would get old really fast.

8/7/2005 5:20:09 PM

wilso
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^that's what i was thinking

i've heard it described as a documentary, though

8/7/2005 5:23:44 PM

dweedle
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8/7/2005 5:34:02 PM

spookyjon
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Galaxy Cinema is getting it in like three or four weeks.

8/7/2005 5:34:58 PM

LudaChris
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I've actually read incredible reviews of this movie, suppose to be absolutely hilarious.

8/7/2005 6:43:23 PM

rwoody
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i mean

i love crude humor

team america and orgazmo are both crude and they are two of fav movies

i also love south park

but that clip just wasnt funny

8/7/2005 6:46:26 PM

Wraith
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I never really understood that joke when it was on South Park. I don't see how it is supposed to be a joke if it is just trying to be really offensive.

8/7/2005 10:46:19 PM

DSMears
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- to some people... a lot of people... being as vulgar as possible is funny. its sort of an improvisational test of storytelling. the joke's punchline doesn't make sense and isnt funny.

you know, the old, "its not the singer, its the song" thing. my friend told the joke the other night, and its equal parts laughing at how far you can push things as well as laughing at people's reactions when they aren't expecting to be told the most ridiculous incest/bestiality/poop joke of all time

it was johnny carson's favorite joke of all time, so it has to be awesome

8/7/2005 11:19:55 PM

wilso
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my favorite joke of all time involves ping pong balls

8/7/2005 11:29:43 PM

vinylbandit
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The joke itself isn't supposed to be funny. The funny part is the ridiculous bullshit that people make up to fill out the joke.

FOR EXAMPLE:

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

The father spins around with lighting speed and reaches into a large velvet sack behind him. He pulls out a long slender wand and a large bellowing magicians hat which he puts on his head. With a wave of the unsheathed wand he whispers the terrible mystical words: NAY PANTALLOONS GONZO!

Suddenly his pants burst around him revelaing his pantaloons, which rip apart and fly off, revealing his hairless, ivory, buttery legs and massive non-magical second wand.

His eyes narrow and he looks left, then right, then over his shoulder and around at his bare, swollen, chaotically evil ass. He smiles darkly and utters a second incantation: KLATA VER-ACUUM RECTUM!

A burst of brimstone tells that magic has occurred.

He giggles creepily and motions to his wife. She obeys mindlessly, her only desire that his will be done. She approaches slowly, her thin arm outstretched, a tiny object in her delicate hand. It is no bigger than a dime, and in fact that is what it is. She keeps her head bowed as he takes the dime from her. Without a word he brandishes the dime on the tip of his index finger and then quickly shoves the whole darn thing up his ass.

He pulls the now dimeless finger out of his ass and uses it to motion to his son. The son walks over ever so slowly, almost with deliberate slothe, a look of pure seething hatred in his eyes. He stands before his father with a defiant slouch, his pot belly protruding with incomprehensible rebellion, issuing a wordless challenge to the older patriarch.

"Give it to me," says the father, though it is clear that he does not like having to do so.

"Sure, whatever. I don't care," retorts the son, and hands him another object. It is a well-sharpened, yellow, #2 graphite pencil. The father snatches it and stuffs it up his shitter.

He is about to motion to his youngest child--his beloved daughter--but she is already there, at his feet, on her knees, her hands by her side.

"Well done, daughter," he says as he smears a dollop of magical Vaseline up and around his crack, "Now begin anew what my great-great grandfather never had the chance to finish!" And with this he squats down and the hapless girl is devoured by his insatiable fudgie hole.

She screams for what eventually turns out to be an eternity. A demonic chorus bursts from the abyss of his asshole, which is now a swirling vortex of pure evil.

"Come wife! Come son! Feed my shit chute the things of this Earth! Begin the prophesy!" And with that the wife and son begin grabbing things, small things at first like coke cans and tissue boxes. But soon they're out of small things and the vortex is screaming for more. So they toss in a television set, then an old lamp. Next a large bag filled with bottlecaps and old presidential campaign buttons.

At one point someone considers tossing in a bicycle, but then they decide not to for whatever reason, I dunno.

Finally, after many, many hours they manage to cram everything from this dimension's universe up this guy's asshole (except for themselves, the agent, and the bicycle).

The demonic chorus is coming to a crescendo, and the father raises his hands up (though what is "up" anyway when there isn't anything to make a down, right?) and shouts, "Now son! Take that bicycle and ram it up in there real good!"

But the son does not move. "Take that bicycle and ram it up my gaping vortex of an asshole!" repeats the father. Still, the boy resists. With lightning speed, the father waddles over to him, his knees bent awkwardly, his asscheeks clenched in a Herculean effort to keep the universe from squirting out his quivering asshole and dripping down his legs. His fist flies and strikes his son's defiant cheek as a gasp escapes the mother's lips.

"Now ram that bicycle up my asshole!" roars the father.

"That bicycle is never going up you're asshole, father," whispers the boy. "And do you want to know why, father? Well I'll tell you. Because it was supposed to be my tenth birthday present! But you were too busy stuffing shit up your magical ass that you never gave it to me! Well I tell you this: this bike will never go up your ass..." he pauses dramatically here and then adds, "without me."

And with that he leaps onto the bike and pedals straight at his father. The old man tries to run away, but with so much of the universe lodged in his colon it is no use and serves only to give his son easier access to his asshole's black hole.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!" screams the father as the bike pops a wheelie and does a full 360 up his crap cave, taking the son with it.

There is a tiny puff of brimstone and then the entire contents of the universe explode out the father's now well-worn and very loose butt pucker.

For the next 17 minutes it's pure chaos, but then everything settles back more or less to where it was, the only evidence of magical happenings being the pungent wads of brown shit that seemed to magically be all over the place.

The father, mother, son and daughter take a bow.

"Ta-dah!"

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

The funniest thing about the South Park clip, though, is when Cartman keeps saying "Kyle, please."

BTW, if you don't think this is funny, you're not alone. There's a clip of Trey Parker telling the jokes to some South Park writers, and at the end one of them just keeps saying "WHAT?"

8/7/2005 11:38:15 PM

cookiepuss
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the punchline is hilarious.

but it helps that the first time you heard the joke it was said a certain way.

8/8/2005 4:23:43 PM

Woodfoot
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one of my friends saw it in nyc this weekend
said he really enjoyed it

8/8/2005 4:27:39 PM

spookyjon
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I just saw it, it was pretty fucking funny.

It's got a lot of interviews with comedians about the context of the joke, and of course lots of versions of the joke itself. They bring up some really interesting points about what it takes to be offensive these days, which is quite a lot.

8/26/2005 1:22:54 AM

packguy381
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i didnt get it when i read what the movie was about, but after a little research, it is something i want to see

8/26/2005 10:41:46 AM

magntpat
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yes i most certainly want to see this. and yes i agree the best part of the Cartman joke is when he says "kyle, please".

8/26/2005 1:05:22 PM

rudeboy
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i want to see clips, other than the southpark one, does anyone have a link?

8/26/2005 1:21:38 PM

ShinAntonio
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The sound clips at http://www.thearistocrats.com are pretty crazy.

"The whole show ends with a big circle jerk around grandma. Now, here's the kicker, grandma's dead."

8/26/2005 2:06:25 PM

joe17669
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Where did that South Park clip come from? I swear I've seen it before, but w/ all the cussing and stuff, I don't think I could have seen it on TV.

8/26/2005 2:33:44 PM

Armabond1
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Apparently its coming to Cary/Raleigh on Sept. 2nd.

8/26/2005 3:17:46 PM

BVanilla
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^^^Grandma is dead!!?? That is a kicker.

[Edited on August 27, 2005 at 1:32 AM. Reason :]

[Edited on August 27, 2005 at 1:33 AM. Reason : "The Aristocrats"]

8/27/2005 1:31:53 AM

Gizmo
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where can you get tickets for it in Raleigh?

8/27/2005 2:03:38 PM

spookyjon
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We're getting it on Friday at the Galaxy in Cary.

You can probably buy tickets as early as Wednesday if that's your bag, but you'd be fine just showing up at showtime as well.

8/27/2005 2:13:02 PM

vinylbandit
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w00t!

8/27/2005 2:15:56 PM

DaveOT
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Okay, so I've never heard the joke before. I read the version vinylbandit posted, and didn't find it funny in the least.

Then I watched the SP clip, and I couldn't stop laughing.

So I might have to catch this.

8/27/2005 2:40:19 PM

Gizmo
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where is galaxy?

8/27/2005 9:57:18 PM

spookyjon
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http://maps.google.com/maps?q=770+cary+towne+boulevard+cary+nc&spn=0.020011,0.035306&hl=en

8/27/2005 10:33:21 PM

Woodfoot
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is me and you already gone?
what about beat my heart?

8/27/2005 11:20:00 PM

spookyjon
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Beat is gone, unfortunately nobody really came to see it.

Me and You is in its last week most likely. I wish we could keep it forever.

8/27/2005 11:25:35 PM

Armabond1
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This is gonna be good.

8/30/2005 10:15:46 AM

pinkpanther
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i will probably go see this
if not just to fill my quota of one movie a week at the galaxy

8/30/2005 4:02:25 PM

jlphipps
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The Aristocrats at Galaxy Cinema

9/2/05 - 9/8/05
1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15

770 Cary Towne Blvd; in the triangle formed by SE Maynard, Walnut, and Cary Towne Blvd, for those who haven't been.

$5.50 w/student ID

9/1/2005 11:00:17 PM

E-Dawg
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i just saw it with the spookjon himself!!

the funniest part is the four minutes of silence in the middle.

9/2/2005 3:47:32 AM

0
Suspended
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^is it blackness? that might be my fault then

9/2/2005 3:51:23 AM

E-Dawg
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you snipped where you should have snapped

9/2/2005 4:05:34 AM

spookyjon
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Oh snap!

9/2/2005 12:24:48 PM

arghx
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9/2/2005 2:09:48 PM

vinylbandit
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Really. Fucking. Funny.

Though, oddly enough, the one line that strikes me as the movie's funniest is Phyllis Diller's.

Meh.

I'll go again later in the week.

9/2/2005 3:33:27 PM

spookyjon
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Gilbert Gottfried KILLED.

"Now you're asking me WHERE DID THE BLOOD COME FROM?"

Oh my fucking GOD.

9/2/2005 10:02:53 PM

vinylbandit
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YESSSSSS.

9/2/2005 10:15:14 PM

rudeboy
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first the aristocrats joke, then death!

9/2/2005 10:20:03 PM

therooster
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fuckin hillarious movie, Gilbert Gottfried killed, absolutely, and for the first time since half baked, I laughed at Bob Saget

[Edited on September 3, 2005 at 2:14 AM. Reason : happy, hitler?]

9/3/2005 2:05:40 AM

tartsquid
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This thread is kind of making me want to see it.

9/3/2005 2:10:25 AM

vinylbandit
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I'm going back at least once, we should have a big party and go see it.

9/3/2005 2:14:56 AM

potpot
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dark hallway

9/3/2005 3:20:20 AM

spookyjon
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I love the way Steven Wright says "my sweet angel".

9/3/2005 7:07:32 PM

Weeeees
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Quote :
"This thread is kind of making me want to see it."

9/3/2005 7:19:14 PM

miska
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I saw it last night

"wow"

Bob Saget's version totally distroyed my childhood

9/11/2005 1:16:54 PM

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