by Ann Coulter
August 10, 2005

Since the London bombings, there has been a palpable feeling in the air here in the U.S. that another terrorist attack is imminent. Maybe not as bad as 9/11, perhaps a train or subway bombing. Or maybe it will be something worse. There were fevered rumors circulating over the last few weeks about massive attacks on New York and Washington scheduled for Aug. 6 and 9, to mark the anniversaries of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

But now Aug. 6 and 9 have come and gone. More significantly, 47 months have come and gone since 9/11 without a major terrorist attack on U.S. soil. The closest thing we had to a major bombing was the new Pauly Shore show on TBS.

Even if the next attack comes tomorrow, it is worth pondering that we've gone 47 months without the savages being able to mount another terrorist attack in a country virtually designed for terrorist attacks, a country where we search the purses of little old ladies so that recent immigrants from Saudi Arabia named "Mohammed" wearing massive backpacks don't feel singled out.

But instead of news stories about how we must be doing something right in the war on terror, we're being carpet-bombed with news stories about how Bush doesn't have a "plan," the war was based on "lies," we're losing the war, the redcoats are coming!

As Republicans were saying repeatedly — captured on Lexis-Nexis for a year before it showed up in a Frank Luntz talking points memo in 2004 — the savages have declared war, and it's far preferable to fight them in the streets of Baghdad than in the streets of New York (where the residents would immediately surrender). That strategy appears to be working. Then again, maybe it's just that it's so damnably hard to find parking in New York ...

Two weeks ago, Gen. Jack Keane, a former deputy chief of staff for the Army, said our forces in Iraq have killed or arrested more than 50,000 insurgents in the past six or seven months. It appears the majority of those were captured and released, but that may be good enough.

Consider the intriguing diary entries of British jihadist Zeeshan Siddique, reported in The New York Times this Monday (somewhat less prominently than the 4 billion front-page stories on Abu Ghraib). Siddique was captured last April in Pakistan by that country's security forces. His diary is a sort of Plan-a-Jihad journal, much like California seventh-graders were required to write in 2002. (There's also talk of publishing his diary under the title "Hello, Allah? It's Me, Siddique.")

In addition to heartwarming entries like the one on the pope's death — "Allah will throw him in hell" — a number of Siddique's diary entries suggest that it's not all sunshine and song for the Islamo-fascists these days. Day after day for six weeks, it was nothing but bad news for Siddique — except for the good news about the pope's death, Saul Bellow's death and the Prince of Monaco's death, all of which cheered him considerably.

After visiting his fellow jihadists in early March, Siddique reports that he received "bad news" — and something tells me it wasn't about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. He writes: "The relaxing place was done over" and "7-8 of the guys taken whilst asleep." He was told "guys need 2 make a move soon. Cant stik round."

A week later, he is informed by someone, probably not the Prince of Monaco, that "the situation is really bad" and he should "just sit tight & wait it out until things get a bit better." Oddly enough he is also a Mets fan, so this spring was an all-around bummer for Siddique.

A few weeks later, Siddique is vowing to make "an all out immense effort" to "rejoin my contingent." And then he was captured, too, along with his diary and phone numbers for other al-Qaida operatives and his co-religionists in Britain involved in the failed subway bombing. If you made a movie of this bumbling nincompoop's misadventures, you'd have to call it "Dude, Where's My Car Bomb?"

Siddique's diary entries refer to Iraq Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari as "the dog of the hell fire" and Pakistan's president, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, as "Satan." That's not the talk of a winner! Siddique's future as a jihadist may be fading, but he has a good shot at writing speeches for Howard Dean. (He also describes Maya Angelou as "America's national treasure," so I guess some things are universal.)

Meanwhile, every time Americans get a gander at these lunatics ranting about the "Great Satan" and the "Zionist entity," we can't believe we're at war with such a comical enemy. No wonder they dream of an afterlife with 72 hot teenage girls. These guys are klutzes. Nerds. Dweebs. In the Las Vegas of life they're at the convention center with the other "Star Trek" fans. Even in Pakistan, Siddique says he is "constantly laughed at & ridiculed."

Ahmed can't get a date, and now the rest of us have to suffer.

But you will notice, the jihadists are not pouring across the Syrian border to, say, Brooklyn Heights. They are running to Iraq, where they run smack dab into the glorious U.S. military.

COPYRIGHT 2005 ANN COULTER

DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

4520 Main Street, Kansas City, MO 64111

8/11/2005 7:59:30 AM

i stopped reading after:

Quote :

"by Ann Coulter"

8/11/2005 8:11:26 AM

^no way man. save this article. take a ton of oxycontin and smoke a lot of weed.

then it will make sense.

8/11/2005 8:18:46 AM

i dont do drugs.

8/11/2005 8:20:23 AM

start

8/11/2005 8:33:31 AM

She makes vary valid points./ Try to be more open minded.

8/11/2005 9:04:37 AM

so does Michael Moore.

..that doesnt mean im going to take them seriously.

8/11/2005 9:06:59 AM

^^

Ahmed can't get a date, and now the rest of us have to suffer.

8/11/2005 9:11:38 AM

yep
i would hatefuck the shit out of ann coulter

and amazingly i regularly enjoy her writing

she has a glib sense of timing that is rare in writing
she knows where to throw in a joke about the mets when talking about a potential suicide bomber that a more storied "journalist" wouldn't be able to do...

8/11/2005 9:58:07 AM

if she's such a humorist, why doesn't she write anything funny?

i try to take the article seriously, but she just doesn't let me.

8/11/2005 10:17:50 AM

I enjoyed it, actually.

Mike

8/11/2005 10:54:44 AM

I thought it was funny.

8/11/2005 11:05:18 AM

I stopped reading after

Quote :

"by Ann Coulter"

8/11/2005 11:23:28 AM

Quote :

"As Republicans were saying repeatedly — captured on Lexis-Nexis for a year before it showed up in a Frank Luntz talking points memo in 2004 — the savages have declared war, and it's far preferable to fight them in the streets of Baghdad than in the streets of New York (where the residents would immediately surrender). That strategy appears to be working. Then again, maybe it's just that it's so damnably hard to find parking in New York ... "

I don't see any bears around, do you?

8/11/2005 11:54:01 AM

gg bear patrol

8/11/2005 11:57:43 AM

did she just call New Yorkers pansies?

8/11/2005 12:24:42 PM

she did. I like ann coulter, I find her stuff amusing, at the least. But that new york comment might've been too much. I'm not a new yorker, but they showed they weren't pansies on 9/11.

8/11/2005 1:15:49 PM

WOULD YA LOOK AT THOSE PUSSIES



fuck ann coulter

[Edited on August 11, 2005 at 1:24 PM. Reason : .]

8/11/2005 1:24:08 PM

Yea. They run right into the glorious US Army alright.

8/11/2005 1:38:42 PM

If I ever met Ann Coulter face to face, I really dont think I could stop myself from giving her one big open-palmed slap across the face.

8/11/2005 2:26:52 PM

hate-fuck.

8/11/2005 2:29:01 PM

^sho nuff

8/11/2005 4:25:21 PM

it' s like a political dave barry without the funny

fucking ridiculous

8/11/2005 4:33:46 PM

i stopped reading after:

Quote :

"by Ann Coulter"

8/11/2005 6:22:37 PM

^

8/11/2005 6:49:57 PM

lol. He posted a Coulter column.

8/11/2005 6:57:47 PM

Quote :

"i stopped reading after: Quote : "by Ann Coulter""

Quote :

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building. "

Quote :

""The swing voters---I like to refer to them as the idiot voters because they don't have set philosophical principles. You're either a liberal or you're a conservative if you have an IQ above a toaster. ""

Quote :

""We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war." "

Quote :

""Not all Muslims may be terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslims."[/quot] [quote]"Being nice to people is, in fact, one of the incidental tenets of Christianity, as opposed to other religions whose tenets are more along the lines of 'kill everyone who doesn't smell bad and doesn't answer to the name Mohammed'""

[Edited on August 11, 2005 at 7:22 PM. Reason : had one in there twice]

8/11/2005 7:21:25 PM

didnt even bother reading, but I hate how people thing that noone said it before sept 11. I had been saying "let's roll" since high school, and now when I say it around older people, they look at me like I am disrespecting those guys efforts on the plane. Old people need to get a clue and realize that he didnt come up with it that day, and need to realize that it isnt some battle cry against terrorism like they think it is.

Probably totally unrelated to the thread, but that shit has been bugging me for a while. [/rant]

8/11/2005 7:28:02 PM

wasn't it 60 years between pearl harbor & 9/11? wasn't it at least 7 years since the 1st bombing in the wtc? just under 4 years w/o an attack isn't that big of an accomplishment.

8/11/2005 8:32:32 PM

Would you like another one? Would that make you feel better?

shut the fuck up. People like you make me want to throw the fuck up.

8/11/2005 9:19:52 PM

who? bear alarm people?

8/11/2005 9:52:53 PM

Quote :

"Even if the next attack comes tomorrow, it is worth pondering that we've gone 47 months without the savages being able to mount another terrorist attack in a country virtually designed for terrorist attacks, a country where we search the purses of little old ladies so that recent immigrants from Saudi Arabia named "Mohammed" wearing massive backpacks don't feel singled out."

At least under the Clinton administration, the perpetrators were caught, tried convicted and are in jail right now.

It's been 1424 days since Bush said he'd catch Osama bin Laden 'Dead or Alive!'

[Edited on August 11, 2005 at 10:28 PM. Reason : oops missed billyboy's post.]

8/11/2005 10:27:46 PM

if the terrorists wanted to truly cause terror

why don't they show up and shoot/bomb random banks/wal-marts in anytown, usa?

even if the citizens of anytown were armed, the terrarists could get one or two before they were offed

they'd still achieve at paranoia

boggles my mind why we don't have weapons searches at the door at target

8/12/2005 12:51:44 AM

I mean there's a target on the door. we're practically asking them to shoot at it.

8/12/2005 12:58:14 AM

go inside + detonate at the $1.00 bin=

crazy ass paranoia, no matter the city

8/12/2005 1:00:04 AM

ive been saying the same thing for i guess almost 4 years now

8/12/2005 1:11:00 AM

i'm pretty sure most people have

hell, the very nature of informing the nation about dozens of sleeper cells carries that concept with it

8/12/2005 3:15:07 AM

Quote :

"by Ann Coulter"

8/12/2005 3:34:54 AM

Quote :

"didnt even bother reading, but I hate how people thing that noone said it before sept 11. I had been saying "let's roll" since high school, and now when I say it around older people, they look at me like I am disrespecting those guys efforts on the plane. Old people need to get a clue and realize that he didnt come up with it that day, and need to realize that it isnt some battle cry against terrorism like they think it is. Probably totally unrelated to the thread, but that shit has been bugging me for a while. [/rant] "

People seriously think he was the first to use that phrase?

8/12/2005 10:11:24 AM

I always think up clever new phrases when fighting terrorists. Its what Bruce Willis would want.

8/12/2005 10:39:07 AM

i like to take something that has been said forever
and use it

before i stabbed this one dirty arab
i was all like
SHAZZAM!

and i blew up a whole nest of terrorists one time with some c4
and i was all like
DUE TO AGE!

8/12/2005 10:50:07 AM

R.I.P. "DUE TO AGE"

8/12/2005 11:19:04 AM

I know, right? Why in the hell did they edit that out?

8/12/2005 11:34:35 AM

Ann Coulter makes valid points

So did Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Osama Bin Laden.

I reserve my right to say "Youre a moron, get this shit out of here"

i wont take her seriously until she stops this "liberals are brainwashed traitors who have a mental disease" shit.

I'm sick of this black/white, right/wrong binary arguing shit. abstract thought is slowly dieing.

[Edited on August 12, 2005 at 4:36 PM. Reason : .]

8/12/2005 4:33:38 PM

Quote :

"Ann Coulter makes valid points So did Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Osama Bin Laden."

Losing tactic my friend.

And for the record, I really don't think bin laden has a valid point... and the rest are communists. You can't trust a goddamn communist can you?

[Edited on August 12, 2005 at 5:05 PM. Reason : .]

8/12/2005 5:05:22 PM

Quote :

"did she just call New Yorkers pansies?"

I think this map proves New Yourkers are pansies:

8/12/2005 5:35:37 PM

jesus, there are normal people who are as bad as coulter is?

how the fuck can war supporters and conservatives call new yorkers pansies because they voted democrat (and by the way, that was mainly just the big cities. the rural areas were red. not that red/blue is really a valid idea anyway), but then talk about 9/11 as though everyone was so brave?

so fucking hypocritical

8/12/2005 7:37:59 PM

Quote :

"You can't trust a goddamn communist can you? "

why should you trust a neocon like her, either? maybe because youre a gullible rank and filer?

8/12/2005 11:27:44 PM

Quote :

"I know, right? Why in the hell did they edit that out?"

perhaps because now you can lose shit DUE TO AGE!

8/12/2005 11:42:17 PM

Quote :

"Would you like another one? Would that make you feel better? shut the fuck up. People like you make me want to throw the fuck up."

Yes, them history books make you vomit don't they buddy. Point out where I said I wanted something to happen you ass. Actually, I believe this sounds like someone asking for an attack:

Quote :

"I don't know where he is.You know, I just don't spend that much time on him... I truly am not that concerned about him."

or this gem of a quote just to make you vomit a bit more...

Quote :

"There are some who feel like that the conditions are such that they can attack us there. My answer is bring them on. "

Now remind me you dumb fuck, who said these? How about you shut the fuck up.

8/13/2005 1:01:35 AM