OK so we did Christmas early with my dad as my parents are split and I now also have to split the holidays with my new wife's family who lives 2 hours away. So we have a nice meal at their house (my dad's) and move to the living room to open presents. We disperse the presents and commence to opening. To try and make the story short, My new wife gets a couple of paper back books, I get one book on business and team management (which is odd since I am in the military) and that's it.
Here's my problem:

My wife and I spent about 120 on presents for he and my step mom, and put thought into what we got them.

It's not like they are broke they just bought their 3rd house (one at the beach, one in maine and one in cary) so it's not like they are broke

He asked what my wife and I wanted for christmas, and books weren't on the list, especially not these books.


So my question to y'all is, should I be like WTF? or should I let it go?

12/21/2005 10:12:44 PM

Call that cheap bastard out. Or just get him a shitty book for his next birthday and/or christmas.

[Edited on December 21, 2005 at 10:17 PM. Reason : .]

12/21/2005 10:16:48 PM

IMO there is no point in making a scene about it. Just take it into consideration next year and dont buy them as much.

I mean, they dont really have to get you anything. It does sound pretty selfish/thoughtless but I dont think its worth fracturing a relationship over some shitty gift.

12/21/2005 10:21:34 PM

If I had kids and finally managed to get them through school and on their way then I'd start spending all my money on myself too.

12/21/2005 10:24:25 PM

I'm hearing bag of dorritos and a poptart on the Christmas list next year.

12/21/2005 10:25:43 PM

wtf indeed

if you're gonna say anything, just insinuate that maybe they were mislabeled and he was too embarassed about it to say anything at the time?

but i definitely agree with getting him a book like that next year. make him understand that if you're gonna do something impersonal, just give some cash instead of something you have to find a place for.

12/21/2005 10:25:49 PM

give them back next year

12/21/2005 10:26:30 PM

Quote :

"give them back next year"

12/21/2005 10:31:38 PM

^^ yeah no chance they were mislabeled. It was the four of us and my brother.

I suppose there is more to this story, I know what he got my brother, who is still in school, he's doing an art program and got some really nice tools for working with glass, big bucks...
We also talked before christmas about going in on an IPOD for my brother which we decided against but he agreed to spend more than that on it than he did on our (my wife and I's) gifts.

Also his sister, my aunt got us a 100 dollar gift certificate to amazon.com a damn site better than the crap we got.

Quote :

"Give them back next year"

Good idea!!!

[Edited on December 21, 2005 at 10:32 PM. Reason : ..]

12/21/2005 10:32:21 PM

Perhaps he has planned something big and wanted to throw you off with these gifts. If you are newly married then it makes more sense that they might be doing something like that. Either way, just let it go. Not everyone gives good gifts and you have no reason to get pissy over what someone else gives. If you don't think its worth getting them good gifts then don't next year, but definitely keep your thoughts to yourself.

12/21/2005 10:39:18 PM

dude, call him out

unless he's ALWAYS been that cheap to you (which I assume he hasn't), then that's just messed up

I mean I'd get selfish w/ my money after raising my kid too, but not THAT selfish.

12/21/2005 10:54:51 PM

He hasn't always been a cheapsake, but its not out of charecter.

One year he "punished" me in college for not getting anytihng for him for his birthday by returning the favor for my next birthday

12/21/2005 11:05:18 PM

A few years ago my aunt got me an ulgy sweater that didn't even fit and hasn't given me a gift for any holiday since because I didn't send her a thank you card.

I swear to god, how about I don't expect a thank you card from anybody else and they don't expect one from me.

12/21/2005 11:07:59 PM

Quote :

"IMO there is no point in making a scene about it. Just take it into consideration next year and dont buy them as much. I mean, they dont really have to get you anything. It does sound pretty selfish/thoughtless but I dont think its worth fracturing a relationship over some shitty gift. "

12/21/2005 11:10:16 PM

Have you tried talking to either parent yet?

It seems to me (at least from the thread title) you are being immediately accusatory without knowing the full background/intentions of the parents. They may have gone though with something WITH good intentions but not explained it. Ask them about it ... ask if its something new they've started, as its not what you are traditionally used to.

12/21/2005 11:33:09 PM

I understand that you're disappointed because you spent all that money, but your dad doesn't seem like the type who really gives a crap about how you feel about presents he's given you. Not getting you anything for your birthday because you didn't get him anything is petty. Take this year as a lesson, and don't spend as much money on him next year.
Stop expecting things from people, even if you specifically ask for something. If you expect nothing on Xmas, more than likely you will not be disappointed.

12/22/2005 1:44:16 AM

after re-reading this, I'm even more pissed off

I'd call him up on Christmas day and be like "HEYYYYYYYYYYY! Fuck you." click. In a Peter Griffin voice.

12/22/2005 1:54:53 AM

Complaining about a Christmas gift is extremely tacky. You should just read the books, and be happy.

Alternatively, maybe he hid money in the books as a joke.

12/22/2005 2:02:05 AM

seriously, I would be worried about your relationship with your pops if your considering "calling your dad out" over Christmas presents.

Since I have been in college my family has decided to not do a big Christmas simply because it is over rated. Enjoy that you have a dad around to spend time with over the Holiday, down the road when you dont have that opportunity bickering about presents will seem somewhat trivial. Personally, and I sound old saying it, but damn its just good to get my whole family together every now and then.

my dad also got me a book on baseball last year and I never read it, this post might make me bring it back out.


[Edited on December 22, 2005 at 2:21 AM. Reason : add]

12/22/2005 2:17:49 AM

It's not complaining, it's just weird.

My family is very far from rich, but I mean my 79 year old grandma still buys my mother like a decent $20 gift for Christmas. Getting one book when you spent lots on your pops would definitely suck.

12/22/2005 2:21:09 AM

greedy fuck, do you realize how gifts are supposed to be given?

12/22/2005 2:22:01 AM

^ Out of the goodness of one's heart?

A motherfucker owning THREE HOMES can afford to spend at least $15 on his OWN FLESH AND BLOOD SON.

12/22/2005 2:24:19 AM

It really seems you are complaining, maybe you are just letting steam off but get real, there are larger issues here if this is making you upset.

I whiped out my bank account today buying presents and am picking up extra hours working Christmas Eve and day after Christmas so I can rebound... could care less what I get.

Quick, you have a few days left to get in the spirit.

Quote :

"A motherfucker owning THREE HOMES can afford to spend at least $15 on his OWN FLESH AND BLOOD SON."

Exactly my point

[Edited on December 22, 2005 at 2:25 AM. Reason : add]

12/22/2005 2:24:21 AM

Its supposed to be a season of GIVING you fucking whiners.

I'd bet on the grand scheme of things he is way ahead of you on the value of things given. Who cares what they have, it is their money.

If you are so worried about it, you aren't seeing the bigger picture:

1) Schmooze your parents as much as you can now.
2) Hope and pray for them to have early deaths.
3) Cash in and have the biggest Christmas ever.

12/22/2005 2:28:27 AM

I think it would be pretty silly to point out the price difference in gifts to a person who can point out the costs of raising you.

[Edited on December 22, 2005 at 2:29 AM. Reason : ]

12/22/2005 2:29:03 AM

^ $$$

12/22/2005 2:32:27 AM

FeverRed, You've got a good point and I should have expected as much from him given other years where crap like this has happened...

SouthPaW12, I like it, unfortunately he probably wouldn't get it!

WolfeatRam, I'd like to think that it isn't just the $$ being spent but also the the effort and thought that went into it. A couple of years ago he got me a *Really* nice gift for christmas that i still love, that was not expensive, since then, not so much...

I suppose another part of it is for one of his gifts I got a book signed by the guy it was about who I work with in the Coast guard, it wasn't easy to do and I know it is an interesting story. The book wasn't a big seller but the story made international headlines a few years ago, and the pilot got the air medal for this rescue. Heck hindsight being 20/20 I'd rather keep the book I got him!

At the very least just bitching about it here has helped me release some steam and not say sometihng to him, I really want to say something as I want him to know how disappointed I am in the amount of effort/time and now to a lesser extent the $... besides if it was intnetional, knowing him he did it to make a point and not addressing it will piss him off even more if he really was being a douche on purpose.

But yeah I should learn my lesson and:
a) not expect **anything** from him so as to not be disappointed
b) poptarts and dorietos for next years gifts
c) or perhaps a partial set in paperback of isaac asmoiv's foundation series would something he would like back next year!

[Edited on December 22, 2005 at 7:37 AM. Reason : ..]

12/22/2005 7:36:00 AM

If he really has only had this one flaky year, shrug it off. I know unless I randomly see something super special, I really haven't shopped yet.

Is it possible he wasn't ready? Maybe you went there on a whim? Maybe he ordered something online and he is probably more pissed than you right now that it is late?

12/22/2005 8:00:36 AM

Not ihs only flaky year, he was ready he suggested last night, def. not a whim, it's possible he orderedsomething but I am 75% certain he would have said something to that affect...

12/22/2005 8:15:05 AM

i dunno why everyone expects other things, cuz im sure if that was the case you'd be like "oh you're getting this too," or "ive got something else in the mail, but it is a surprise." theres also the ever popular, "oh ur not done with that present, look inside."

i agree though saying something wont help anything. at that point you got a shitty gift and pissed someone off. the only time id ever say anything if it is extremely off, by accident. for example, my mom got me a hootie and the blowfish one year cuz instead of weezer. we had talked about hootie randomly but not in an overly enthusiastic or positive way.

12/22/2005 8:31:22 AM

take your gifts and stfu. it's not a contest.

12/22/2005 8:31:49 AM

i like the dumbasses who dont realize it is "the thought that counts." complaining is only really tacky when the gift was given with some thought, which we are speculating (probably rightly so) it wasnt.

12/22/2005 8:32:47 AM

^I don't agree with that. I have good and bad years. Not only am I a last minute person, but if I can't think of something chances are you will be getting a DVD or something. No offense, but it just can't be super unique and special every year.

I also have the habit of having a good idea that costs $$$ so I usually ask ahead of time if it can count for Christmas and a birthday. No one seems to have a problem with that.

So today I'll be running to the store buying random crap and sending it overnight to my mom and grandmother because I'm down to the wire. So then shipping really kills me, but maybe I'll learn one day.

12/22/2005 8:37:54 AM

It is a gift. It is tacky to complain about regardless of the thought. Noone is required to give anyone else anything. If I were you, I wouldn't even screw him on a crappy gift next year. I would continue giving him decent gifts no matter what he gets me.

Like others have pointed out, be happy that you got to spend some quality time with your family.

Plus, it would be hilarious if you blew up on and "called him out" for a shitty gift and then he decided to take your xbox360 back that he can't give yet because there aren't any in the stores.

12/22/2005 8:46:29 AM

I read through about half-way ...

1. No matter how you slice it, it's a gift. It's quite common for there to be unequal giving, and also quite common to give "wrong" gifts.
2. It's tacky to call someone out aka calling them cheapskates, etc.
3. If you decide to do something other than burn them or regift or sell, you have options:

a. Refer to the gifts as "interesting choices" and ask how they decided on those particular ones
b. Gently mention that you appreciate the thought and apparent concern for your [insert something like finances/future/entertainment whatever fits] but these books really aren't your type and you think he'd prefer you had something you would read/use.
c. Go through 3rd party channels and find out where he got them then return them, or simply go to a bunch of bookstores until you find one that takes them ... this way you get store credit, but at least you can spend it on whatever they have that you DO want.

12/22/2005 9:13:01 AM

JESUS CHRIST. YEAH, GET MAD BECAUSE YOU ARENT HAPPY WITH THE FREE SHIT THAT WAS GIVEN TO YOU.

12/22/2005 10:46:05 AM

getting gifts may not be required, but it does feel like an obligation to many people (like it or not). say what you like, but i expect my family to get me gifts and in turn im sure they expect that id get them something (except my dad, i only get him stuff if it is something i know he'll like). not saying that it bothers me, but id give them the wtf mate face if i got nothing.

12/22/2005 10:50:48 AM

If he was petty enough to "punish" you one year b/c you didn't get him a gift, it might be possible he's doing the same thing this year because you're newly married and likely received a lot of wedding gifts.

Either way do like ActofGod suggested and mention how they're an interesting choice and ask what made him think of giving them to you. Calling him out will make your future holidays miserable, if my impression of your dad is correct.

12/22/2005 10:59:34 AM

i feel like i am reading a livejournal

LOL MY DAD IS TOTAL LOSAR I DESERV BETTAR TOYZ

it's his money, and if he doesn't want to spend it on christmas gifts, then fine.

if you feel like you need to exact revenge -

for GETTING A CHRISTMAS PRESENT YOU AREN'T HAPPY WITH -

- then take it into account when buying him gifts in the future.

[Edited on December 22, 2005 at 11:12 AM. Reason : wah]

12/22/2005 11:11:34 AM

it's Christmas, DON'T call him out...he IS your dad


just wait and do what other people are saying and give him the books back as a present for his bday or something

12/22/2005 12:08:50 PM

As soon as I turned 12, I stopped getting toys for Christmas and started getting things that should "come in handy".

12/22/2005 12:14:32 PM

I can see how they got divorced. But yeh he's your dad you can't really yell at him about it. Just don't try so hard next time?

12/22/2005 1:44:51 PM

what a spoiled, ungrateful chotch
if my son ever "calls me out" for not liking his presents hes getting smacked

12/22/2005 1:56:28 PM

Quote :

"what a spoiled, ungrateful chotch if my son ever "calls me out" for not liking his presents hes getting smacked"

[/thread]

12/22/2005 2:08:49 PM

^uh, no. This is a guy who took presents back and generally has been cheap for many years, the gift a few years ago that had thought in it was an anomally.
Practical, "come in handy" things would have been AWESOME... bottom line is I should have known better.

It's not the $ he spent or the fact that we spent more, its the lack of effort, but regardless, I should have known better than to think that there would be intelligent posting
by everyone.

And no, I probably never would say anything to him, I just needed to vent last night and started this thread, lack "you people" never get pissed on here...

12/22/2005 5:07:43 PM

ya this deff isnt the place to come if you are looking for people to agree with you.

12/22/2005 5:13:40 PM

Flip through those books and make sure that there isn't a check in there before you talk to the parents...I made that mistake one time

12/22/2005 5:27:56 PM

Is your dad known for not being good at picking out gifts? I mean, when he and your mom were together, was she known for picking out all of the gifts? If that's so, then maybe he just really sucks at picking out gifts for people, no matter how well he knows you. I know that my father-in-law's wife just died and this year for Christmas, he called to point blank ask us what we wanted. He's one of those guys that sucks at picking out things.
Regardless, just be glad your dad got you something. I mean, it's not gifts that are important this time of year. It's the thought that counts and maybe he really did think you would like the books. Whatever you do, don't call him out. One day you will regret it. My dad died a couple of years ago and I know I regret many things I said to him out of anger or misunderstanding.

12/22/2005 6:12:21 PM

i doesnt really matter how bad about gifts he is
the fact that you are ungrateful and want to call him out on it just makes you a spoiled chotch

12/22/2005 6:13:53 PM

^thank you.

Quote :

"you are ungrateful and want to call him out on it just makes you a spoiled chotch"

12/22/2005 6:17:18 PM