the only possible outcome i can see is separation, but i'm caught in the middle of the pre-split. my mom's got me separating her mail so my dad doesn't see it, and my dad has me keeping tabs on where she's been and going. tonight she went out with her girlfriends, and he got all pissed because he's in texas for a couple weeks and obviously doesn't trust her. he called her and left some nasty messages, so she called me (i could tell she'd been drinking) complaining about it, then started talking to me like i was 12 and asking if she needed to come babysit. i told her she'd had a few and i'd see her tomorrow, so she gets all quiet and says bye. so now she's mad at me for something that was totally not in my power. UGH

1/28/2006 12:21:44 AM

its what you get for being a carolina fan?

1/28/2006 12:24:03 AM

go fuck yourself

1/28/2006 12:26:34 AM

care?

1/28/2006 12:31:00 AM

Quote :

"my mom's got me separating her mail so my dad doesn't see it, and my dad has me keeping tabs on where she's been and going"

If you're going to take sides, taking both sides will only come back to bite you. I went for the acknowledging my parents route, but not really reporting back to either one when my 'rents split.

1/28/2006 12:38:00 AM

is your mom hot? could be some easy poonanner right now

1/28/2006 12:51:52 AM

you guys are some fucking assholes. if i wanted shit, i'd have posted in chit chat

1/28/2006 1:01:52 AM

Posting this on TWW and expecting serious responses was your first mistake.

1/28/2006 1:15:49 AM

thats bs. people post all kinds of shit on here and get serious responses. whatever though

1/28/2006 1:18:09 AM

I feel ya man...it sucks being in the middle of parent shit!

1/28/2006 1:19:15 AM

^^Yeah, but you're not a hot girl.

1/28/2006 1:26:08 AM

Tell your parents to grow the fuck up, get a divorce, and go on with their lives.

Be mature about it and don't take any sides - refer them to a counselor or something.


Don't let them guilt you into doing their dirty work.

1/28/2006 2:23:27 AM

what kind of worthless parents put their kids in the middle of it

1/28/2006 2:32:11 AM

i just ignored mine when they were splitting up.

1/28/2006 2:38:22 AM

its not hard acting like an adult in most situations

1/28/2006 2:40:43 AM

You need to take yourself out of both situations. Let them work it out; refuse to separate mail and refuse to keep tabs on anyone.

1/28/2006 2:47:18 AM

why dont you just be like "ok seriously this fighting shit is gay, stop arguing and work something out, jesus christ, this is so god damned retarded"

1/28/2006 2:56:01 AM

out of curiosity,

are your parents in middle school? because they sure are acting like it.

1/28/2006 3:02:13 AM

i can understand the desire to take sides or want to help both of them out.....you need to understand though that they are grown people, who can and will make their own decisions, regardless of any outside influences

the best thing for you to do is to remain as neutral as possible and wish them the best. give them help when they ask for it as long as it doesnt go against the other one directly.

they wont get mad at you for your decision and if they do, then they are shitty people and you dont need to be worrying about it in the first place.....what i mean is, hopefully they arent such trivial people that they see you as an object...they will keep this in mind while they work through their issues, if not, that should tell you something

1/28/2006 7:34:44 AM

Quote :

"people post all kinds of shit on here and get serious responses. whatever though"

ya and they're not die-hard carolina fans

1/28/2006 9:36:39 AM

Seriously, if you're actually keeping tabs on your mom for your dad and seperating the mail you're a fucking idiot.

First thing you do is tell them both you're not going to get in the middle of their petty bullshit and then DON'T.

End of story.

1/28/2006 9:58:27 AM

Quote :

"what kind of worthless parents put their kids in the middle of it"

1/28/2006 2:09:30 PM

^what kinda worthless child cant handle it

1/28/2006 2:13:41 PM

I would definitely distance myself from the situation, seriously....and then kill myself if I was a UNC fan.

1/28/2006 2:16:34 PM

sounds like your mom has a bit of a drinking problem which is probably why your parents' marriage is failing

1/28/2006 2:45:13 PM

actually thats a stupid assumption and has nothing to do with anything

1/28/2006 5:55:30 PM

so youre saying your mom doesnt have a drinking problem or are you saying their marriage isn't over?

1/28/2006 6:00:40 PM

Dude, I seriously dig older chicks with drinking problems and husbands who are gone for weeks at a time...

So start calling me Daddddyyyyy

1/28/2006 6:13:27 PM

Quote :

"asking if she needed to come babysit."

kinky

1/28/2006 6:17:09 PM

actually i may be wrong

her drinking problem could be the result of their failed marriage, not the cause of it

1/28/2006 6:23:30 PM

Again, her loss.... my Gain!!!!!!!!!

1/28/2006 6:36:05 PM

Quote :

"Age : 33 Sex : M "

1/28/2006 6:38:09 PM

"you guys are some fucking assholes. if i wanted shit, i'd have posted in chit chat"

I was one of the first posters and I don't know if that was directed towards me at all or not... but all I meant was that you should try to extricate yourself from the situation, except for in the ways your ‘rents actually need you there. Talk to them and be there for them, but try to pull yourself away from anything that feels like taking sides. A lot of ppls ‘rents wait til their kids are in college to split up. I meant what I said as serious advice, not as criticism. I hope things turn out as alright as they can given the situation.

1/28/2006 6:45:06 PM

i just had a long conversation with my mom which cleared some things up, but it looks like i'm gonna have pick somewhere to live. i was planning on moving out in the fall anyway, so its just temporary, but it doesn't make it suck any less. if i had the money i'd move out right now, but i don't. the drinking thing was just last night and has no relevance to anything. i have some catharsis right now, but i'm sure it'll be shitty again when my dad gets back into town. its tough to find out someone's been miserable for 20 years and covered it up for the sake of her kids

^ and no i wasn't talking to you, thanks for the advice

[Edited on January 28, 2006 at 7:03 PM. Reason : .]

1/28/2006 7:02:31 PM

Quote :

"If you're going to take sides, taking both sides will only come back to bite you. I went for the acknowledging my parents route, but not really reporting back to either one when my 'rents split. "

BTDT and I agree with this

1/28/2006 10:01:49 PM

Stingray in all seriousness, if you're going to let them use you to get at each other, then use them to get things for yourself.

How awesome will Christmas be when they both compete to get you the most amount of gifts?

1/28/2006 10:29:14 PM

thats one way it can spin, the other way is they both try to push off helping you at all onto the other one as a punishment to the other one

1/28/2006 10:44:05 PM

is your mom hot? could be some easy poonanner right now

1/30/2006 8:25:24 AM

Here's what I would do. (of course I am assuming you have a huge amount of respect and love for your parents, if you don't then you can ignore my advice).

Be there for them. Just like they would be for you, or you would be for a sibling. Just because you shouldn't act against one , doesn't mean you can't act for them both. Be a listener to both of them on a regular basis, just try to keep information to each parent, and dont go back and forth telling stories. If you are mature about it, each of them having you to talk to will be very important to them. Lots of people hate talking to random councelors (and yes some prefer it) but if what they each need is someone to listen, then suck it up and be there for them. Thats what i'd do for my parents.

1/30/2006 2:10:05 PM

i'd sit them both down together and explain how all their crap is affecting you. tell them you love them both but that you don't want to hear anything negative about the other parent. tell them that you refuse to take sides and that it wouldn't be fair if they asked you too. tell them they need to work their own problems out and to just leave you out of it. then just leav it at that. don't create extra drama, just be quick and to the point. and make sure they BOTH know they they BOTH are guilty and they BOTH need to quick dragging you into their issues. and then if they start arguing, just walk out and tell them not to talk to you.

it sucks that they are pulling this crap. you need to be an adult about it and flat out tell them that you refuse to allow yourself to be pulled into all this crap.

1/30/2006 2:29:31 PM

Good luck with that man. It's a tough situation to be in. I agree w/ the folks that say you should stay out of things and not pick sides. Think of it this way...by supporting one of them, you're sometimes betraying the other.

...many prayers.

1/30/2006 2:44:20 PM

I've never had to go through a split. My parents were happy all along, so my advice probably wouldnt be that warranted. I dont think it would be good to take sides. My g/f's mom took sides when her mother and father got a divorce, and it came back to haunt her in the end, between her and her brother (my g/f's uncle). My g/f's mom took her mom's side, and the uncle took the dad's side. When the parents got sick, thats when it came back to haunt them.

I would be as neutral as possible and let both of them know that you are NOT going to be a go between, that that is childish and they should face their problems themselves.

1/30/2006 3:14:54 PM

My parents went through the same thing my sophomore year, but since I'm living in a different state from them I was pretty insulated from it. Christmas at home was horrible that year, though, so I feel for you having to deal with it every day. By February my mom called me at 8 am at my gf's house to tell me my dad was moving out. I still have no idea how she got my gf's home number; that alone was very weird.

Since I don't see them that much, I continued to hear it from each of them every time I visited home for awhile. My Dad would go on and on about what a crazy lunatic my mom is, then I'd go to my Mom's and listen to her lecture me on my Dad's insensitivity, etc. Gah! Mostly I just listened without comment, and after awhile they both adjusted to the idea, hooked up with new people, and moved on to happier lives. I guess that's the best you can hope for.

1/30/2006 8:04:18 PM

been there. just step back and tell them that you're staying out of it.

1/30/2006 9:15:36 PM