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 Message Boards » » I WANT TO KILL MY GOD DAMNED CAT Page [1] 2, Next  
Smath74
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the mother fucker doesn't go outside, because i don't want him to get run over.

well the fucker got outside today because the wind blew the god damned cheap ass door open because it didn't latch properly.

so i go outside to get the cat, and he is downstairs. i see him and go to get him, and the mother fucker hisses at me. HISSES AT ME

then his dumb ass runs out into the god damn road (gorman street) to get away from me. i finally catch him, and the fucker bites and scratches me. I am still bleeding. so i grab him and hold him up with the skin behind his neck, and swiftly beat him and threw his ass into my apartment so that he hit the opposite wall.

i hope he is bleeding internally and dies by morning. if not, hopefully he learned his god damned lesson.

4/16/2006 3:52:22 AM

Gamecat
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i mean

you got a cat

what'd you expect?

they're not known for obedience.

4/16/2006 3:56:22 AM

Smath74
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to top it all of, it's the fucking cat that i LIKE.
if it were the other one, i'd just let it go.

4/16/2006 3:59:19 AM

drunknloaded
Suspended
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cats>dogs

4/16/2006 4:01:18 AM

Smath74
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i'd have to say you are retarded on the basis of that inequality.

4/16/2006 4:02:02 AM

drunknloaded
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i'd have to say you are retarded for letting a cat fuck you up

4/16/2006 4:13:57 AM

moron
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You should embrace your cat's desire to go outside, and teach it some responsibility.

4/16/2006 4:17:52 AM

Smath74
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^^ dude, but cat's just suck in general. i never wanted to own one, much less two. it just fucking happened

^i live right beside gorman street, it doesn't have tags (because collars eat away at it's neck because it's a twat, and i don't want to have to get it rabies shots and shit.

4/16/2006 4:25:16 AM

moron
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The trick to getting a cat to accept a collar is to put it on while it's sleeping. If you do it when the cat is conscious, it will hate it. But, if it's there when it wakes up, it'll think it's always been there.

4/16/2006 4:34:16 AM

Smath74
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no, i can get a collar on it.

but it has such soft hair, the collar wears away at it and eventually starts eating into it's skin. i don't know why it does it, but it does. and no, it's not too tight.

4/16/2006 4:35:28 AM

moron
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It's because your cat is a pussy (and probably grew up in doors its entire spoiled life)

4/16/2006 4:39:00 AM

Smath74
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well i have always lived near busy roads... maybe i should have been a god damned responsible pet owner and let it roam around un-neutered getting jackleg's and joie's cat pregnant repeatedly, near busy streets

4/16/2006 4:40:49 AM

Gamecat
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i couldn't have a cat

i'd abuse it

i suck

4/16/2006 4:41:08 AM

Smath74
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sexually?

4/16/2006 4:42:44 AM

moron
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If you just sit outside and let the cat walk around, and just watch it (don't chase it and make it freak out, and keep acknowledging it by name), but yell at it when it goes near the street, it will eventually learn not to dart out in to the road, and if it does happen to go outside, it'll stick around the house.

Cats are naturally afraid of cars (because they are big and make scary noises), but they won't know that the road is for cars, without seeing it. Also, fixing the cat (especially if it's a male) calms it down a lot.

*not responsible if you kill your cat by trying any of this

4/16/2006 4:45:44 AM

Gamecat
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more like fatally

4/16/2006 4:46:19 AM

Beardawg61
Trauma Specialist
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Quote :
"cats>dogs"


I dohave the power to suspend you.


Although I like my cat. Dawgs are UBER!

4/16/2006 6:42:52 AM

ZeroDegrez
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What I read:
The pussy got away from Smath.
Smath chased the pussy.
Smath snatched some pussy off the street.
Smath took the pussy back home.
Smath beat the pussy hard.
Smath threw the pussy away when he was done beating it.
Smath potentially beat it so hard it's bleeding.

4/16/2006 8:01:15 AM

jbrick83
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Cats suck. Just let it run away.

4/16/2006 8:56:35 AM

LittleHooker
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Drop kick him again and show him who's boss. cats in general suck, but siamese are awesome. you can put them above your door and they attack would be intruders...

4/16/2006 10:36:46 AM

FeverRed
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Cats are not humans.
They don't understand English.
When you say, "I don't want you to go outside, you'll get hurt," the cat does not give a crap.

4/16/2006 10:42:53 AM

Amsterdam718
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cats are awesome. mega awesome when indoors. cats should never go outside.

4/16/2006 11:03:16 AM

underPSI
tillerman
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your mad at your cat for getting out because you are to cheap to buy a $2 latch?

4/16/2006 11:03:29 AM

LittleHooker
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Cat's can go outside, it just depends on its temperment. Our cat roams the area sometimes bringing us (dead) presents, and I appreciate his generosity.

4/16/2006 11:09:30 AM

pttyndal
WINGS!!!!!
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Hey man you can have my cat. He might get you in trouble with the po po though.

4/16/2006 11:11:52 AM

drtaylor
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sounds like latent homo self-hate manifesting itself outwardly, better see somebody about that

4/16/2006 11:43:02 AM

Stiletto
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People don't keep cats.

Cats keep people.

4/16/2006 11:44:43 AM

sublime_ncsu
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my girlfriend's cat got me good last week so i beat that little cunt (the cat) with a belt

[Edited on April 16, 2006 at 11:51 AM. Reason : ]

4/16/2006 11:50:37 AM

Supplanter
supple anteater
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my 2 cats are afraid of the outside... accidentally locked one outside once and it just stood by the door crying to be let in until we finally noticed. i mean you can see them run to the door from the windows whenever they see me drive up... but they would never go outside it very far.

4/16/2006 12:45:43 PM

ben94gt
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my cat is fat, and 12 years old, its too lazy to even jump up on the sofa, much less run outside, or run anywhere for that matter.

4/16/2006 12:56:19 PM

SuperDude
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We found our pet cat outside..


in our dog's mouth.



She didn't eat the cat, but the cat has hated the dog ever since. It's funny though, because he sometimes acts like a dog for attention. (rolls on his back, trying to get his belly scratched)

4/16/2006 1:05:55 PM

Smath74
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Quote :
"your mad at your cat for getting out because you are to cheap to buy a $2 latch?"

the door has never randomly opened like that before.

4/16/2006 1:44:20 PM

DaveOT
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Quote :
"Cat's can go outside, it just depends on its temperment. Our cat roams the area sometimes bringing us (dead) presents, and I appreciate his generosity."


Depends entirely on the cat and the area...

We used to let our (neutered) cat roam freely, because we had plenty of room for him. At least he knew better than to play with cars (something the dogs have never figured out), but he did get in plenty of fights.

4/16/2006 2:37:39 PM

theDuke866
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Quote :
"more like fatally"


yeah man, me too. cats make good chinese food...that's about it.

4/16/2006 3:07:21 PM

Chellx06
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hahahaha thats great

4/16/2006 3:09:20 PM

LittleHooker
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Quote :
"hahahaha thats great"


aww so cute he's even gonna let you spark it first.

4/16/2006 4:03:37 PM

pttyndal
WINGS!!!!!
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yeah, that's my cat yo. I'll sell him to ya for tree-fiddy.

4/16/2006 4:07:46 PM

Smath74
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that is not a funny picture. fucking potheads

4/16/2006 4:14:01 PM

JulietteNCSU
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Sometimes a cat's temperament can change when they're in an unfamiliar/threatening setting (i.e. indoor cats going outside). I've had a few indoor cats that would just lose it if they snuck outside (i.e. scratching, hissings, attacking me/others for no apparent reason). The attack most probably wasn't directed at you, but due to the cat feeling threatened and/or territorial & you just happened to be the closet target.

4/16/2006 4:53:51 PM

Smath74
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yeah that's what i figured. it still pissed me off though. and i didn't really abuse it like i said i did.

4/16/2006 5:06:53 PM

SaabTurbo
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http://www.thewolfweb.com/photo_photo.aspx?user=13571&photo=415319

4/16/2006 5:17:46 PM

93formula
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yeah, the cat was probably freaking out that you were chasing him and everything else going on so it bit, prolly just redirected aggression

HOWEVER, clean the HELL out of the bite!!! cats bites can get really nasty and if not taken care of, can abcess and you'll have to be on antibiotics for awhile...seriously, wash it with soap, then wash it again every hour or so for a bit just to be safe.


oh...and get your cat a damn rabies vaccination

[Edited on April 16, 2006 at 5:25 PM. Reason : rabies]

4/16/2006 5:21:03 PM

vinylbandit
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A dog is stupid enough to not realize that a car is coming. Cats generally pay attention to such things. Show some fucking trust in an animal that's smarter than you give it credit for and let it go outside when it wants to.

4/16/2006 5:21:19 PM

Smath74
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a cat's brain is about the size of a walnut. they are not smart.

and i don't want them dragging in dead birds and snakes and the like.

4/16/2006 5:25:07 PM

93formula
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Quote :
"
and i don't want them dragging in dead birds and snakes and the like."


when i took Wildlife management, the professor let us know that other humans, the domesticated cat puts more species on the endangered list than any other...in most neighborhoods, the cat density is greater than the native bobcat population, had it still been there

4/16/2006 5:27:49 PM

Chellx06
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Quote :
"that is not a funny picture. fucking potheads "


I'm not a pothead but I still think that its funny

4/16/2006 5:44:18 PM

Smath74
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Age : 18

4/16/2006 5:48:07 PM

EMCE
balls deep
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4/16/2006 5:50:57 PM

mildew
Drunk yet Orderly
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so let the cat go outside and get hit if u want to kill it...


???

4/16/2006 7:30:41 PM

Smath74
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and this is when logic turns full circle.

4/16/2006 7:31:17 PM

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