m NC State

http://www.thebrushback.com/

HOUSTON--Southern Cal running back Reggie Bush has been the consensus choice for the top pick in this year’s NFL draft since the season ended in January. However, the Houston Texans, who own the top pick, are balking at Bush’s asking price. Reports out of Houston indicate that they may do the unthinkable, and use their prized pick on some nobody defensive end from North Carolina State.

“We are looking at Mario Williams of NC State as a possible alternative to Reggie Bush,” said GM Charlie Casserly. “Williams was a very productive player in college and we believe he is the top defender in the country. He can be a real difference maker. Right now Reggie Bush is being unreasonable in his contract demands, so we think this is a viable alternative.”

Despite the fact that Williams is a nobody and the Texans will be the laughingstock of the NFL if they draft him, Casserly actually seems serious.

“Mario’s nothing to scoff at. He’s a very good, impact player,” Casserly said. “Do you know how many sacks he had last year? 13. That’s a lot. This guy could be the next Lawrence Taylor. You may not have heard of him but that’s only because he didn’t play for a big program like USC or Texas. He also didn’t lateral away the goddamn Rose Bowl, for what that’s worth.”

The fact that Matt Leinart and Vince Young will both be available should they decide against Bush has not changed the Texans mind. However, many scouts believe their interest in Williams is a negotiating ploy, and the Texans will still end up with Reggie Bush.

“They’ve been having problems with Reggie and his agent, and I think this is just a way for them to show that they have a little leverage,” said one NFC scout. “I mean, it has to be. There’s no way they can be considering some defensive end from East Buttfuck State University. Not with actual difference makers available like Leinart and Young. No, this is just a big ploy. On draft day, Marvin Williamson will be left out in the cold no matter how many sacks he had.”

Some GM’s around the league are hoping the Texans follow through on their threat to draft the obscure nobody from NC State. The New Orleans Saints and the Tennessee Titans own the second and third picks respectively and would love a shot at Reggie Bush should he drop down.

“Oh my God if we got Reggie Bush it would be a miracle,” said a member of the New Orleans Saints front office. “We’ll pay him whatever he wants. Who cares? He’s Reggie frigging Bush. What’s the name of that guy the Texans are talking about right now? Mario Williams? Uh-huh. Sure, whatever you say, Charlie. ‘Mario Williams’ is going to be an impact player in the NFL. I think it’s more likely that he’ll be an impact player for UPS. I hear they need somebody with a great motor to deliver their packages.”

Williams was a virtual unknown until the Texans plucked him out of obscurity. Even if he is a great defender, experts say that drafting an anonymous, nothing stranger like Williams would infuriate the fans.

“Drafting Mario Williams would be akin to packing the franchise in a bus and shipping it to Bolivia,” John Madden said on Sportscenter. “Nobody knows who this kid is and nobody cares. He comes from a university in North Carolina that’s neither Duke nor UNC. It’s not even Wake Forest. NC State? Yea I go there if I want a degree in wood shop. For professional football, I’d go to, oh I don’t know, USC? Texas? Anywhere else in the country?”

He added: “At this point the only thing Williams has going for him is that he didn’t lateral away the goddamn Rose Bowl, for what that’s worth.”

4/18/2006 4:23:17 PM

yeah...this is the same website that published this gem right below the Mario Williams one:

Quote :

"NBA Player Shot 8 Times, Left For Dead In Game Of Grand Theft Auto SAN ANDREAS, CA--Charlotte point guard Brevin Knight was gunned down in a hail of bullets and left for dead outside a fast food restaurant yesterday during a particularly brutal game of Grand Theft Auto. The incident was reportedly gang related. “It was definitely motivated by revenge,” Knight said afterwards. “Just a few hours earlier I mowed down some rival gang members with my rocket launcher and then stole all their money and drugs. So when I pulled up to that chicken restaurant and saw all those thugs hanging around outside I knew I was in trouble. The jokes on them, though. I saved the game. So I can just come back to the same restaurant, armed to the teeth, and kill the bastards.” Knight already has an extensive criminal record in the San Andreas area which includes a staggering 2,317 murders. "

WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THIS NOBODY WEBSITE!?! LOOKING HERE FOR INFORMATION IS LIKE PACKING UP AND MOVING TO BOLIVIA.

FUCKING FUCKTARDS

4/18/2006 4:27:28 PM

Quote :

"He comes from a university in North Carolina that’s neither Duke nor UNC. It’s not even Wake Forest"

LMAO.......because DOOK/UNC CH football is the best in NC

[Edited on April 18, 2006 at 4:30 PM. Reason : .]

4/18/2006 4:27:38 PM

Quote :

"Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news. "

4/18/2006 4:30:04 PM

A nobody? are they kidding us? and when it comes to football...NC State has (or should have) the best program in North Carolina...has madden heard of Dook football? what a fucker

4/18/2006 4:30:18 PM

haha panthro

4/18/2006 4:30:45 PM

^^^ ahh there we go..good point wolfAApack

4/18/2006 4:31:17 PM

Quote :

"There’s no way they can be considering some defensive end from East Buttfuck State University."

4/18/2006 4:32:51 PM

Brevin Knight is gangsta

4/18/2006 4:33:39 PM

dude, you almost started a riot in Raleigh and a death warrant on Madden's head

4/18/2006 4:35:09 PM

In case it wasn't clear, I'm quite aware that the brushback is a humor site.

Still, ouch.

4/18/2006 4:39:18 PM

Quote :

"NC State has (or should have) the best program in North Carolina"

A rather dubious honor don't you think?

4/18/2006 4:42:49 PM

That..



..was..



..AWESOME

one of the best sports satires outside of the Mayne Event.

Quote :

"On draft day, Marvin Williamson will be left out in the cold no matter how many sacks he had."

Quote :

"NC State? Yea I go there if I want a degree in wood shop. For professional football, I’d go to, oh I don’t know, USC? Texas? Anywhere else in the country?"

4/18/2006 4:44:15 PM

Yeah, seriously, ouch. I also know the brushback is a humor site, but damn--they straight up RIPPED NCSU for that entire article. Not good....not good at all...

4/18/2006 4:44:47 PM

its a moot point b/c they'll suck no matter who they get, so hopefully mario will go to a team that can actually assemble a pro football team, b/c he will look like shit if he goes there (so will bush).

4/18/2006 4:48:16 PM

I <3 TheBrushback. Definitely better than SportsPickle.

4/18/2006 4:50:19 PM

Guys, this is the third topic on this.

http://www.thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=401901&page=1

http://www.thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=400348&page=1

4/18/2006 4:51:58 PM

^ You are dense.

4/18/2006 5:00:31 PM

That shit is funny, I don't care who you are.

4/18/2006 6:09:27 PM

^^^ dense.

4/18/2006 6:13:01 PM

dang we are constantly in the news

4/18/2006 6:27:28 PM

http://www.thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=400348&page=1

thanks

4/18/2006 6:31:55 PM

the people who have been outed as idiots as a result of thsi thread:

emtrane
Crazywade (maybe, cant tell for sure on this one)
wlb420 (cant tell for sure on this one either)
twolfpack3
JT3bucky (seems like it)

i want to give panthro the benefit of the doubt, but i could be wrong

4/18/2006 6:46:56 PM

^hahha true that

4/18/2006 7:08:27 PM

BTTT FOR SMART PEOPLE

4/18/2006 11:12:21 PM

WHAT A TOOLBAG

4/18/2006 11:15:22 PM

Quote :

"He also didn’t lateral away the goddamn Rose Bowl, for what that’s worth"

best quote in there

4/18/2006 11:18:03 PM

why are stupid articles like this posted all the time? Anybody can post a sports article on some internet site about any damn thing. If i wanted i could post one about how NCSU is going to get coach K as the next damn coach or how we are gonna win it all next year Even ESPN posts it or some big site then freak out, till then, just drop it

4/18/2006 11:56:40 PM

Quote :

"ports article"

yea, you have been added to "the list"

4/18/2006 11:59:22 PM

Quote :

"He also didn’t lateral away the goddamn Rose Bowl, for what that’s worth"

haha, i laughed at that too

4/19/2006 12:12:00 AM

hahahah:

emtrane
Crazywade (maybe, cant tell for sure on this one)
wlb420 (cant tell for sure on this one either)
twolfpack3
JT3bucky (seems like it)
Panthro
savagecomet

4/19/2006 12:24:14 AM

anybody else want to join?

4/19/2006 10:58:17 AM

I don't know what's funnier, the article or some of the morons in this thread

4/19/2006 11:09:59 AM

read through the back issues, there is some hilarious stuff in there

4/19/2006 11:11:36 AM

I was trying to make a funny......with that said, this thread is about as retarded as a fat guy dressing emo.

4/19/2006 1:14:01 PM

i love that website, lol

4/19/2006 1:34:17 PM

^^i cant belive you sorry, i mean i believe you were tyring to get a laugh but for different reason. your second post in the thread give you away


anyone else want to outed?

4/21/2006 1:36:46 PM

Wow, I cant believe that some of you people near thought for a second this was serious...its obviously a joke. How many legit articles or even editorials have you read that used the word "buttfuck"?

I didnt think it was a rip of NC State as much as it was a rip on all the bandwagon fan boys who believe Bush, Leinart, and Young are football gods and the only place to play football is USC or Texas.

4/21/2006 2:01:35 PM

Quote :

"How many legit articles or even editorials have you read that used the word "buttfuck"?"

gg

i love the old brushback article "Vince Young Doesn't Give a Shit that he's Failing Calculus"

4/21/2006 2:43:34 PM