So this guy broke up with me in December, we were actually engaged and he left me for someone else, and I've moved on and actually have another interest. Well he calls me last night for the first time and tells me that his mother has 3 ruptured disks in her neck, leaking spinal fluid and a cyst found in her brain. Then he tells me that he's going to be in N.C. for about a month this summer (he lives in WA).

To top it all off, his parents are going through a rough divorce.

I feel bad, but I don't want to see him and I don't want to make him feel better. I was wondering if I should try and feel bad, or if I should pretend to feel bad, or if I should just tell him how I really feel about it (I don't really care).

What do you guys think?

4/29/2006 8:31:13 PM

He was your fiancee.
It's your decision, and not TWW's.

4/29/2006 8:34:02 PM

Quote :

"I feel bad, but I don't want to see him and I don't want to make him feel better. "

You're a pathetic human being.

4/29/2006 8:34:52 PM

I know it's my decision, I'm just having trouble figuring out what's morally right.

4/29/2006 8:35:04 PM

Quote :

"I feel bad"

Quote :

"(I don't really care). "

Are you blonde?

4/29/2006 8:35:33 PM

Hey sweetie.. um that is a tough one...

I guess you have to be honest. I mean... you should still CARE I mean what happened is fucked up.
But make sure he knows that you don't owe him a fricken pity party, yah know? I mean give yer blessings and move along.

And I guess he has to get that thru his head, yah know? ... did that help at all?

4/29/2006 8:36:15 PM

^^ No, I feel bad for his situation but I don't care for him.

^That did help, thank you.



[Edited on April 29, 2006 at 8:36 PM. Reason : ]

4/29/2006 8:36:17 PM

forget about him.

he ditched you, not vice versa, you don't owe him anything.

don't feel bad at all.

4/29/2006 8:37:38 PM

Maybe he didn't tell you all that with anything in mind.

Maybe he was just sharing things with you.

Maybe you're critically analyzing the poor soul.

4/29/2006 8:38:13 PM

Yah... that is gonna hurt but he has to deal with it.

I mean if he asks to see u say no.
And be str8 upfront about it

Look I feel about your situation n all, but I've moved on and right now I have to many problems
of my own to deal with. I'm sorry, I can't help you. But you will be in my prayers though.

And if he can't accept that, oh well.

4/29/2006 8:38:52 PM

if you have moved on, like you claimed to have done, then this should be no big deal. unless his mother did something horrible to you, i would guess that you would care that a woman that was going to be your mother-in-law is in pretty bad shape.

grudges, to me, are just signs that a person is still hung up emotionally in the situation. i think to have truly moved on, you've forgiven him (no matter how crappy he was) and are happy with where you are in your own life. if you don't want to see him once he's here (assuming he even contacts you), then just explain to him that you are sorry that his mother is sick and that you understand it must be hard having parents divorcing, but that you feel like you aren't the kind of friend that is going to be able to offer the support he needs right now. if you feel like you might be all he has right now and you think you can handle seeing him, then be there for him. it's really a decision you're going to have to come to yourself.

good luck.

4/30/2006 12:21:37 AM

^ agreed

4/30/2006 12:29:15 AM

You should punch his mom in the neck.

That'd show him how much you've moved on.

4/30/2006 12:35:59 AM

Yah, that dude's mom blew my meatcannon, and I blew her "back"

So, you're avalible tho?

4/30/2006 12:40:57 AM

I would tell him, that you are really sorry that he's going through all of that. but it would be best for you not to see him because you are just not ready yet. He'll be hurt, but he'll hopefully understand.

4/30/2006 1:45:20 AM

i agree with what sajo20 said.

4/30/2006 2:03:58 AM

help the poor bloke

4/30/2006 9:42:16 AM

Blowjob


ehe, just kidding, tryin to lighten the mood a bit.

[Edited on April 30, 2006 at 10:04 AM. Reason : But seriously, give him a blowjob.]

4/30/2006 10:03:09 AM

yo emsnems8 you should write an article for the technician about dr flick

since we like solved the case

4/30/2006 10:05:16 AM

You don't owe this guy anything at all. Sounds like he just wants some pity from you. Tell him that you're sorry about his mother, and hope everything goes well for her, but he'll need to find someone else to help him deal with it (like maybe the chick he left you for).

4/30/2006 10:06:26 AM

^ exactly

4/30/2006 10:27:24 AM

you still love the guy and youre afraid something will happen

4/30/2006 10:59:21 AM

What the fuck were you doing engaged at 19 years old???

4/30/2006 11:21:04 AM

YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR NARC'ING US OUT TO THE TECHNICIAN

STUDENT CONDUCT NARC

4/30/2006 11:30:18 AM

The most important person you will ever fall in love with is yourself. If it will be detrimental for you to see him and you don't want to deal with it, don't. Think about it if he wasn't your ex...what if he was some stranger behind you in line at the grocery store..would you spend your time listening to them for an hour? If not, you shouldn't feel bad just because he is your ex.

4/30/2006 11:32:27 AM

im a selfish jackass so usually people are better off doing the opposite of what i advise.

but id tell him to fuck off, that his parents divorce is his fault, and to buy his mom new athletic wear.

4/30/2006 3:24:15 PM

sounds like to me you've already made up your mind, because if you didn't care you wouldn't have made this post.

enjoy that drama.

[Edited on April 30, 2006 at 3:29 PM. Reason : language]

4/30/2006 3:27:28 PM

terrible human being
[/thread]

4/30/2006 3:35:05 PM

You don't owe this guy anything at all. Sounds like he just wants some pity from you. Tell him that you're sorry about his mother, and hope everything goes well for her, but he'll need to find someone else to help him deal with it (like maybe the chick he left you for).

4/30/2006 3:45:11 PM

You don't owe this guy anything at all. Sounds like he just wants some pity from you. Tell him that you're sorry about his mother, and hope everything goes well for her, but he'll need to find someone else to help him deal with it (like maybe the chick he left you for).

4/30/2006 4:38:33 PM

why do girls look for validation so much for the way they feel

4/30/2006 4:42:17 PM

because they each know they're evil and they're looking to ease their consciences

[Edited on April 30, 2006 at 4:45 PM. Reason : s]

4/30/2006 4:45:31 PM

You don't owe this guy anything at all. Sounds like he just wants some pity from you. Tell him that you're sorry about his mother, and hope everything goes well for her, but he'll need to find someone else to help him deal with it (like maybe the chick he left you for).

4/30/2006 4:51:08 PM

i'll tell you what's up

you still love him and you want to take him back, but your ego is too big and you're too bitter

4/30/2006 5:05:01 PM

Quote :

"you still love the guy and youre afraid something will happen"

DING DING SING

TEH WINNAR!!!!!1111

4/30/2006 6:07:42 PM

no no no. i got it all figured out. Send him an E-card that expresses that you are sympathetic but would rather not spend time with him right now.

http://www.moviecall.org/greetings/create.php?card=31

4/30/2006 6:15:34 PM

he's definately got more on his mind than he's expressing... if u see him ur gonna have really fucked up feelings... if u dont see him when the month is over u'll be back to normal

4/30/2006 10:33:58 PM

Get over your emotions and be there for him...this is more about his mother/family than himself.

If he starts to make this a mack-fest, then you have right to back out.

4/30/2006 11:35:07 PM

Be civil and give him your condolences, thats all. If he really did break up with you because of another woman, then he deserves the cold shoulder from you. Giving this guy emotional support would be just as bad as if you were to sleep with him again.

5/1/2006 12:02:24 AM

Send his mom a get well card if you had a good relationship with her, but don't be a sympathy fuck for him.

5/1/2006 8:46:07 AM

If you truly don't care you're just one more insensitive bitch to add to the list, so it really doesn't matter.

5/1/2006 11:15:11 AM

seriously... why is he coming to you?!?! shouldnt his current girl be there for him? dont get involved on any serious level its not worth any sort of trouble on your part when it was him that left you... and it wasnt done under very kosher circumstances from your description. good luck with that, the whole situation seems like it would suck

5/1/2006 2:20:12 PM

If this were to happen a year from now, you probably would have no trouble in seeing him, but since the breakup is so recent it's a tough decision. If you're over him, then do it. If you're worried about stirring up old feelings or are still pissed off then don't; it won't make matters any better and if anything might make it worse.

5/1/2006 2:43:31 PM

Quote :

"you should still CARE I mean "

fuck this should shit, however you feel IS how you feel, no reason to change it, don't waste your time if you don't care, keep goin on with your life

as for what is "morally" right, again that's relative to you. morals are different for everyone, if you don't care then morally it doesn't matter for you. unless you are talking about what is morally correct based on your religion.

fuck religion

/end

5/1/2006 2:49:21 PM

marry him

5/1/2006 2:51:58 PM

Quote :

"YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR NARC'ING US OUT TO THE TECHNICIAN STUDENT CONDUCT NARC"

5/1/2006 3:23:32 PM

5/2/2006 11:24:32 AM

make sure he knows that you're too good for him.

5/2/2006 3:28:43 PM

what's the story on this alleged narcing?

5/2/2006 3:58:35 PM