6 year relationship just ended.


She needed to "find herself".


I guess I fucked that one up pretty good.


Now I'm sitting here at work, wondering if she'll come back.


TWW Counselling is needed.

6/15/2006 2:08:08 PM

6/15/2006 2:10:20 PM

go fuck some new poon and get over it

6/15/2006 2:10:21 PM

you're 22?

this is probably a very good thing. you might not think so now, but in six months you'll be glad.

6/15/2006 2:10:35 PM

is this one of those 10/10 threads?

6/15/2006 2:10:38 PM

I concede. Pity threads are never 10/10.

6/15/2006 2:13:12 PM

this thread is worthless w/out pics

6/15/2006 2:14:15 PM

was she upset when she left? did you all have a fight?

she may call you if any of it was said out of anger...she may regret it later.

6/15/2006 2:16:24 PM

It's so wierd, knowing that I wont get to talk to her tonight.



.....



No fight. No nothing.



[Edited on June 15, 2006 at 2:18 PM. Reason : more]

6/15/2006 2:17:17 PM

get. out. while. you. can.

if you're really 22 and haven't dated anyone else since you were 16, you owe it to yourself to get out there and date other people.

6/15/2006 2:17:50 PM

You really think I'm better off without her?


I dunno. I just find that hard to believe.

6/15/2006 2:18:49 PM

i mean i don't know either one of you. so i can't say for sure.

but the fact that you are in your early twenties makes me think that you don't necessarily know what you want because you haven't really had more than one girlfriend.

6/15/2006 2:19:46 PM

Quote :

"Let go of the past, because the past has let go of you."

6/15/2006 2:20:05 PM

I guess I should really take that advice here.





I wont be able to sleep for a while, thinking about her with another dude though.

[Edited on June 15, 2006 at 2:21 PM. Reason : ]

6/15/2006 2:21:04 PM

GraniteBalls?

6/15/2006 2:26:26 PM

unless she already has another guy in mind, i'm sure "finding herself" doesn't involve having another guy in the picture for awhile...so you can rest easy on that for awhile

6/15/2006 2:27:23 PM

you should post her info/phone # in chit chat

6/15/2006 2:27:38 PM

this sucks, seriously though

6/15/2006 2:28:05 PM

That's go to be hard. There's no way she hasn't been a huge part of your life for a long time. I'd try to talk to her at some point... just to see what's up and what's in her head. Never underestimate the crazy logic that resides in the female mind through. Did you do anything to trigger this? Also, she's most likely been thinking about this for a while. Seen any signs?

6/15/2006 2:34:48 PM

You're better off for it. If anything both of you have equal fault if, as you believe, there is any fuck up responsible for the relationship. I'm suspicious of any long term relationship that's started before the parties are 18 or marriage before 25 though.

Move on and be glad that she broke things off now instead of "finding herself" in some other guy's bed later without having the decency to tell you.

Go out and get yourself distracted for a while. Don't talk to her for at least a week even if she tries to contact you so you both have time to think about this. Don't take her back immediately if she starts having second thoughts either. You need to consider what kind of person she is for jilting you like that and coming back. It's OK to be understanding of her, but don't let her think it's OK to toy with people like this.

6/15/2006 2:45:04 PM

Quote :

"unless she already has another guy in mind, i'm sure "finding herself" doesn't involve having another guy in the picture for awhile...so you can rest easy on that for awhile "

She has another guy in mind. I 100% garauntee it. If Granite called her in a week and asked, she'll be with him.

But yes, this is a good thing. You need to date other people and figure out if you two really are the right fit. There's nothing stopping you both from getting back together in a few years if that's how things go.

6/15/2006 2:48:37 PM

I mutually ended a 3-year long-distance relationship in February and I've never been happier
but I'm sorry you're hurting just keep busy and hang out with friends you've lost touch with

[Edited on June 15, 2006 at 2:53 PM. Reason : .]

6/15/2006 2:51:25 PM

plz visit the BAC thread for advice

6/15/2006 2:54:40 PM

Quote :

"unless she already has another guy in mind, i'm sure "finding herself" doesn't involve having another guy in the picture for awhile...so you can rest easy on that for awhile"

Are you fucking nuts? She's sweating some other dudes sac right now, bank on it.

Girls are whores man. Dont ever let one define you.

If you've been dating her for 6 years surely you met plenty of girls who've been waiting for you to be released into the wild. Go fuck them and make sure you hit it right so you'll get more chances. Bruise it a little if you have to...

Whatever you do, don't let the well go dry cause then you'll be lonely & sulky. Most girls don't give pity fucks and they dont like being slumpbusters. Dont let a slump affect your pheremones.

Last advice, do NOT go talk about her, how you miss her, or how bad you feel to the girls you fuck in the upcoming weeks. Do not be a misogynist openly. This is poor form and will put you on the road to lonely nights & internet porn faster than you would ever believe.

6/15/2006 2:55:10 PM

6 years is a long time bro, I can't imagine the hurt.

It comes down to two things: Think of the things you're now free to do w/o her (not sexual, I mean like randomly go get a Masters Degree at some place in California or Europe)

Now think of how bad you "need" her.

Weigh the two, but give it time. Chances are it'll take longer than a week or two for choice B not be the only reasonable one.

Still,

6/15/2006 2:56:42 PM

it's why i said "unless"

6/15/2006 3:44:16 PM

may I direct you to this thread:

http://thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=415021

6/15/2006 3:52:33 PM

even if she doesn't "have someone in mind" someone probably has her in mind. and she probably won't refuse the . . .company.

6/15/2006 3:56:20 PM

Dude....you have balls of Granite.

move on.

You can do it.

Don't be a douche and dont fight her decision, it only makes you look like an idiot.

They always come crawling back if you move on right after they break up.

trust me.

I was the king of p00n in my younger days.

6/15/2006 3:59:59 PM

She broke up with you on YOUR LUNCH BREAK!!!!!! Thats pretty crappy.

6/15/2006 4:00:43 PM

coming from someone who just had a 2.5 year relationship end (we were engaged) because we both agreed we weren't ready to get married now (long story, he's english i'm american and we were getting engaged at this point despite our doubts mainly becuase he wanted me to live there and didn't want to do long distance - i came to realize i couldn't get married for a visa as i value marriage more than that, and he agreed he wasn't ready either really)

it was mutual yes - BUT - it still hurts.

however, we've both said that we still love each other, and that while we both know that us breaking up now is neccessary, neither one of us are either banking on geting back together nor writing it off... if it ends up that in a year, two years, three years, howevermany years time that we're right for each other still, and we've grown up and experienced the world and such like that... then so be it - but at the very end of the day these have been the best 2.5 years of both of our lives to date - and we haven't had a bad breakup - we both still want to be friends and be in each others lives, but know it will be tough.

so in some ways, we broke up becuase we both needed to "find ourselves"

but it doenst mean that either him or i are thinking about other people right now, i can 100% for sure say i'm not.

please don't assume - his girl may really just feel like I felt, that in order for her not to regret later down the line getting married so young or not experiencing life as a single, that she needs to do that - i know the situations are probably different, but still... it doesnt mean she wants to fuck other people now or get into a relationship with someone else now - it may really mean just what she says, she needs to find herself - be sure she can stand on her own two feet, have a hack at being single and relying on herself and herself alone - and get that out of the way before she thinks about getting back together or another relationship period.

just my two cents.

6/15/2006 4:04:26 PM

^words.

[Edited on June 15, 2006 at 4:05 PM. Reason : ^]

6/15/2006 4:05:06 PM

um your situations are totally different.

You were getting married over a visa.

She is wanting a guy that can pop her from a different angle and trajectory.


I dont think your scenario applies here.

6/15/2006 4:06:27 PM

:shrug: fair enough

i love it how people assume that the girl just wants to be fucked by someone else and thats the only reason

yes our situations are different - but people still fucking assume that its all about a fuck when it probably is about a lot more than that.

6/15/2006 4:08:36 PM

Keep your head up and let her make the moves.

6/15/2006 4:15:56 PM

^^ no, the problem is that people like you want to assume that all girls when it comes down to it aren't dirty sluts that are constantly looking to sell their boyfriend out and upgrade once they decide that guy is no longer "it" for them.

That's all there is to it.

Guys will cheat on you and have meaningless sex, yes.

But they usually have the decency to dump you when they realize they dont want to be with you anymore.

Girls on the other hand will come to the decision to leave their boyfriend but wait to dump the guy until they have the next guy naked, tied to the bed, and lubed up.

6/15/2006 4:20:13 PM

^did you get burned or what?

6/15/2006 4:22:10 PM

^ some girls will do that - i'm not going to lie and say that some girls aren't like that

just irritating that the assumption is that ALL girls are like that.

i'll be the first to say that i generally get along with guys better as i can't stand a lot of the drama and back-stabbing that girls do - i find it pointless and just overall shitty, but it doesn't mean that every single girl i know is like that.

6/15/2006 4:22:18 PM

ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.
ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THAT.



[Edited on June 15, 2006 at 4:29 PM. Reason : YOU GOT BURNT LIKE TOAST...SAD BUT TRUE. MOVE ON NOW OR PAY THE PRICE LATER]

6/15/2006 4:27:37 PM

"Well, that's never happened to me before."
"What? The 30 seconds of sex or the 40 minutes of crying? I'm outta here."

6/15/2006 4:54:40 PM

Quote :

"Girls on the other hand will come to the decision to leave their boyfriend but wait to dump the guy until they have the next guy naked, tied to the bed, and lubed up."

pretty much this is how they all operate

6/15/2006 4:57:44 PM

Just so we're clear im not saying Its really the girls fault.

The dating/fucking system is inherently flawed.

Follow me.

There are several levels of attractiveness for a guy. Girls rate each a guy based on a combination of his physical appearance, wealth, social status, fame, etc

Some of these factors weigh more heavily for individual girls which is why you end up with the cleat chasers, the starfuckers, the gold diggers, etc...

The highest level is reserved for the alpha males. The athletes, the celebrities, the models, etc

The lowest levels are the untouchables.


Guys rank women in the same level system.

HEREIN LIES THE PROBLEM:

Guys factor in physical appearance as the #1, #2, and #3 factor. Social status, wealth, intelligence, etc are mitigating factors AT BEST.



While guys will often fuck "down" the list (i.e. sleep with girls who aren't on their level of attractiveness) they will almost never date "down" the list.

Girls will often date "down" in physical attractiveness because the guy scores highly in other categories (wealth, status, humor, steady supply of hardcore drugs, etc)


At some point this poses a problem. A guy who is better looking than you will be looking to fuck "down" the list and will hit on your girlfriend. He may also be able to match or surpass you in other categories (fame, wealth, etc).

This guy would probably never consider dating your girlfriend but will say smooth enough things to make her seriously reconsider being faithful to your relatively ugly ass. (Im not saying you are ugly, but relative to her you usually are since you are dating "up" in physical attractiveness.)


If guys could stomach dating a girl who is physically less attractive than they are, this problem wouldn't exist.

But seriously, could you even imagine waking up to her every morning?

6/15/2006 4:59:15 PM

Quote :

"If you've been dating her for 6 years surely you met plenty of girls who've been waiting for you to be released into the wild. Go fuck them and make sure you hit it right so you'll get more chances. Bruise it a little if you have to... "

gg

6/15/2006 5:02:12 PM

^ thanks,

even if she's not the pick of the litter still give it your best effort.

Girls talk and you want them to say good things.


Remember, at some point a girl's roomate will become her ex-roomate. And then she's fair game.

6/15/2006 5:04:20 PM

christ lord

i take back every foul word ever directed towards rallydurham

those posts were funny as hell

6/15/2006 5:07:23 PM

^^^^haha

[Edited on June 15, 2006 at 5:08 PM. Reason : ^]

6/15/2006 5:08:10 PM

There isn't anything anyone on this site can say that is going to help you. You are who you are, and you have to learn this shit on your own, the hard way. It's how we learned it.

6/15/2006 5:10:42 PM

youll be okay

now sow your wild oats as much as you can

6/15/2006 5:23:12 PM

Is the relationship totally off ... like no communication whatsoever from now on?

6/15/2006 5:33:39 PM

You'll be fine. I think being with someone for that long from that early of an age really alters your perception of who you are and what you want. This will give you time to reevaluate those things.

That's what it sounds like she wants to do. A relationship like that can really make you forget what your purpose is. Or maybe she thought you two were going in different directions. Regardless, you probably deserved a face to face explanation.

I was in a 5+ year relationship from 15-20 and getting out of it was the best thing that ever happened to me. There's usually a light at the end of the tunnel.

6/15/2006 5:41:29 PM