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xplosivo
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1966 Posts
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why the hell did ESPN.com just turn the simmons chat into an IN thing. wtf?!

anyone want to post this for those of us without IN status?

1/10/2007 2:26:07 PM

aimorris
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15213 Posts
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no need. sports guy is lame now

1/10/2007 4:11:33 PM

rwoody
Save TWW
37470 Posts
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sports guy is same as he always was

no dropoff

1/10/2007 4:13:30 PM

rflong
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11472 Posts
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Bill Simmons is still great even if he is not as edgy as he once was.

ESPN might as well just make everything on their page Insider. Obviously it's their right to, but it sucks that you cannot hardly read any columnist info anymore with being an Insider.

1/10/2007 5:32:09 PM

Tom Green
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1328 Posts
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It's not coming up as Insider status for me. It seems to read just fine.

1/10/2007 5:32:22 PM

Flyin Ryan
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ESPN finally realized "wow, all this content we put out costs a lot of money".

(it was Insider for me too earlier, but apparently everyone can read it now)

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/chat/070110

[Edited on January 10, 2007 at 5:44 PM. Reason : /]

1/10/2007 5:41:13 PM

Flyin Ryan
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Haha. This is funny.

Quote :
"John (Cambridge, Mass.): What's the general mood in Southern CA right now for the game on Sunday. I know you're four hours or so away, but what the heck is going on with SD sports radio pleading with Chargers fans to not sell their tix to Pats fans? Is this a joke? I think it's hilarious.


Joe (Boston): This is a sure sign of an impending loser: "The San Diego Chargers have restricted sales to the Divisional Playoff game to residents of Southern California … Orders by residents outside of southern California will be canceled without notice." I hate California and Ticketmaster. You're perpetuating this nonsense by contributing to the LaLa Land tax base.


Bill Simmons: Yeah, this is a real issue out here -- all the Boston transplants are flooding the game and there aren't enough real Chargers fans to hold them off -- plus, people from back home are trying to get tix and fly in for the game. You're looking at 10-12,000 NE fans there on Sunday easy. I think this is good for the Pats."


The only thing Ticketmaster restrictions will do is make Southern California scalpers have a field day.

[Edited on January 10, 2007 at 5:53 PM. Reason : /]

1/10/2007 5:51:05 PM

roberta
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there were only 1000 tickets available on ticketmaster (many of them singles, i believe) -- and they sold out in 10min according the SD paper

chicago also did the same thing (restricted to illinois and nw indiana)

go bolts

1/11/2007 7:32:05 AM

NyM410
J-E-T-S
50084 Posts
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Thank you Sports Guy for making sense of things for sports fans everywhere.

Quote :
"Random thoughts ...

1. I don't see how anyone can call themselves sports fans and not watch these Duke-UNC games. Two standout moments in this one: A) when Duke's Brian Zoubek and UNC's Reyshawn Terry tied up a loose ball, landed on one another and both refused to let go (even after the ref called a jump ball); and B) a great replay sequence of Roy Williams exhorting his team from the UNC bench (screaming "Come on!!!!!!!" with his fists balled, almost like a boxing trainer in the 12th round or something), followed by Josh McRoberts crying into a towel because he was so frustrated that he'd picked up a fourth foul. Great energy from start to finish. And yes, you read that correctly -- McRoberts cried during the game. I blame Adam Morrison.

2. The Tar Heels could be dangerous next month because of three guys: a serviceable low-post player (Hansbrough, who had a quiet 16 points), a slithery freshman forward projected as a top-5 pick (Wright, good for a 19-9), and a raw freshman PG who can get to the rim and looks like Ray Felton 2.0 (Lawson, who had 15 points and 8 boards). So they're never out of any game and have the depth to wear weaker teams down (as Duke found out). Their main concerns are poor 3-point shooting and a lack of experience; I could see them being exposed in the tournament by a more experienced team that forces them to make 20-footers (like Texas A&M -- more on the Aggies in a second).

As for Duke, it's a bad sign when you play like that at home, get a career-high 26 points from your freshman shooting guard (Jon Scheyer, a more palatable J.J. Redick), force a bunch of bad shots and turnovers ... and at the 10-minute mark, the game's a tossup. The Blue Devils are missing one athletic scorer who can carry them for 2-3 minutes at a time, especially at the end of games. (Actually, they always seem to be missing a guy like this -- even when they recruited Corey Maggette, he fled after one season and the Duke fans realized they weren't ready for Maggette.) But this is the second time I've watched them this year (saw the Virginia Tech loss as well) and I've been underwhelmed both times. They're a year away. At least.

3. Sadly, no Erin Andrews for this one. Couldn't she be the sideline reporter for every ESPN game? What's stopping this from happening? Travel? Money? Why couldn't they emulate what CBS did with John Madden, buy her a luxury bus, call it the ErinMobile, then assign her to seven games a week so she could travel the country enriching everyone's lives?

4. A fun question for you and your friends: Who's going to suck more in the pros, Josh McRoberts or Tyler Hansbrough? I say McRoberts -- he looks like the next Billy Curley to me, and there's a decent chance they're the same age. But why hasn't Hansborough gotten even one iota better since last season? Even his stats are exactly the same. I was much higher on him last spring. How will he get his points in the pros? He would have been a top-12 pick last season; I don't see him going top-25 now.

5. Wright is a little more interesting -- one of those shaky effort guys who looks fantastic in those workouts that get Chad Ford all hot and bothered. The announcers compared him to Sam Perkins Wednesday -- young Sam Perkins, not fat/dreadlocked Sam Perkins -- but he's more talented than Sam because he's a natural scorer and has a knack for bouncing off guys and keeping his body control in the air (like Cedric Maxwell back in the day). But the effort thing ... ugh. How many times do we have to go down this road? You're either hungry or you're not.

If he's the consensus No. 3 pick right now, I'm even more frightened to hear David Stern say the words, "And the third pick goes to ... the Boston Celtics." Seriously, I might stop following sports if this happens. I can't handle even thinking about it.

6. "I'm coaching a team that's lost three straight and looks like they're a year away. My best player cried during the biggest game of the season. My biggest coaching rival has been kicking my ass for three straight years. My card is American Express."

7. Greg Paulus is Duke's Rex Grossman -- he can look good for stretches, but it's only a matter of time before he self-destructs (like this game's 5-for-17 performance). And yes, Grossman was so bad in the Super Bowl that we'll be using him in sports analogies for years and decades to come.

(Here's another example: the Gary Payton lookalike who plays President Palmer is such a lousy actor, he's turning into the Rex Grossman of "24." Has there ever been a less convincing President in a movie or TV show? They couldn't have spent a little extra money for one of the Wayans brothers?)

8. Final thought: Imagine if Durant went to Carolina over Texas? That almost happened. Yikes."

2/8/2007 9:57:45 PM

Ernie
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Quote :
" Sadly, no Erin Andrews for this one. Couldn't she be the sideline reporter for every ESPN game? What's stopping this from happening? Travel? Money? Why couldn't they emulate what CBS did with John Madden, buy her a luxury bus, call it the ErinMobile, then assign her to seven games a week so she could travel the country enriching everyone's lives?"

2/8/2007 10:03:08 PM

rallydurham
Suspended
11317 Posts
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Okay this is just fucking hilarious.
Quote :
"
That afternoon, I was asked to participate in the Cadillac Celebrity Go-Cart Race even though I'm not a celebrity. The event was held near the American Airlines Arena and featured celebs like Nick Lachey, Fergie, Josh Duhamel, Matt Leinart, Queen Latifah and others, all of whom were infinitely more famous than me. Before the race, I was talking to one of the PR people running the race and some "Access Hollywood" anchor named Tony Potts approched us. Apparently he won the race two years ago; you might remember reading about this in Celebrity Go-Cart Illustrated. When we were introduced, the PR person said, "Tony, do you have any advice for Bill?" After all, this was my first go-cart race -- seemed like an innocent conversation starter, right?

Here's what Tony tells me: "If you feel a tap on your bumper, it's either me, Tweeden or Duhamel. That means you need to get out of the way. And if you don't get out of the way, we'll spin you right out of there."

There were a couple of things I loved about this. First, he referred to the other two celebs (LeeAnn Tweeden and Josh Duhamel) by their last names, like they were professional athletes or something. Second, this blowhard was completely, totally, 100-percent serious. I swear to God. I know it's impossible to believe that someone could be this much of a d-bag, but believe me -- I have a witness. This happened. Third, did I mention that this was a celebrity go-cart race???? It was for charity!!!!!!!!! It's not like we were racing for a new Escalade. And fourth, he completely underestimated my competitiveness and driving acumen. Hell, I once went 120 miles an hour on the Merritt Parkway in a car that was 9 years old and had 105,000 miles on it. Now I was supposed to be afraid of an anchor from "Inside Hollywood?" Er, "Access Hollywood?" Please.

I pretended not to be perturbed, waited for him to leave, confirmed with the PR person that he was completely serious -- he was -- then made plans to run him off the road like Bo Duke. Any chance of me calming down was erased during the "safety lecture" before the race started, when they went over the track and all the precautions -- including how it's not good to bump other drivers -- and Tweeden and Potts (two of the last three winners) sat in the front row cracking jokes like, "just stay out of our way and you won't get hurt" and getting a little TOO into it. They were like the too-cool-for-school kids, only the school wasn't that cool. Again, this was a celebrity f***ing go-cart race.

They broke the groups into five heats, with my heat coming last -- I was in a foursome with Leinart (who looked like death warmed over and a possible threat to puke in his helmet), Lachey (who's constantly smiling, like he can't believe he's having sex with someone who enjoys it) and some girl from "Heroes" who had a lot of letters in her last name. Normally I would have been favored but I was bordering on being legally drunk from the night before. Plus, size dictates who wins go-cart races; someone like Tweeden (40-50 pounds lighter than everyone else) or Lachey (light for a guy) possesses a distinct advantage over heavier people like Leinart, Shawne Merriman (who was allowed to race since they didn't have drug-testing) and Queen Latifah (sorry, I had to). And since the top two advanced to the semis, I knew I'd advance as long as I didn't crash ... which I didn't, finishing second behind Lachey (the weight thing again).

(Note: In the Pantheon of "Things We Don't Do With Our Buddies Nearly Enough": Driving go-karts has to rank right up there with football tailgates, bowling and miniature golf skins games for $50 per hole. Pass your mid-20's and none of these things are ever suggested or broached again -- yet it's a guaranteed afternoon of fun every time. Come on, what's better than zooming around a track trying to intentionally injure your friends? Nothing, I say.)

Now the semis roll around. As fate would have it, Potts wasn't just in my heat ... our cars were side to side in the front row, with Potts to my right. And as fate would have it, Potts's lane partially closed about 125 feet ahead, so if he didn't get out in front of me at the start, either he'd have to jump behind me as we passed through the smaller space, or he'd have to trust that I wouldn't run him into the sand bags to his right.

Of course, I planned on veering right and pushing him into the sand bags. The mere scenario had me so giddy, I could barely keep a straight face. It was like the Celebrity Go-Cart Gods had put this right on a platter for me. Right before the race, he looked over at me and I looked back blankly, with part of me wanting to make the Sprewell throat-cutting gesture (I held off). So the starter yells, "Ready..." and Tony starts revving his engine like an ass. Again, it's a f***ing go-cart. Then the starter yells "set ..." and wouldn't you know it, this sleazeball jumps the gun and takes off. By the time the starter said "Go," he had a two-second headstart on everyone, which they would never penalize him for because, again, it's a celebrity f***ing go-cart race.

(This seems like a good time to mention that the winner of this race got to give $10,000 for their favorite charity -- I was driving for the Jimmy Fund -- and this slimeball cheated to get a jumpstart in the semis. How do you cheat in a celebrity go-cart race for charity???? How does this happen??? I expected so much more from a guy who lives in Hollywood and hosts a syndicated entertainment/gossip show.)

Anyway, I took off like a bat out of hell trying to catch him. And since the race lasted for only five laps, it wasn't looking good. Three laps in, he's still about 50 feet ahead of me but coasting because he has a top-two spot locked up. I'm comfortably ahead of the two cars behind me and have the other Finals spot all but locked up -- it would have been me, Duhamel, Potts and Tweeden, ironically enough. But that wasn't cutting it. I was just close enough that it was conceivable I could catch him from behind, spin him out and possibly kill him ... which, in all honesty, would have been my happiest moment of 2007. And I'm flying around the track hitting the big 90-degree turn on Lap 4, but I'm going a little too fast, and ... skiddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

I spin out.

Not egregiously, but just enough that the last two cars pass me and I have to settle for fourth. The lesson, as always: Don't let your temper get the best of you during a celebrity go-cart race.

As for the finals, I couldn't even bear to watch -- Tweeden ended up winning again (remember, the weight thing) and seemed far too happy about it, spraying champagne over everyone in Winners Row like she had just won the Daytona 500. Whatever. Go shoot another calendar, honey. The good news was that she won the race by spinning out a seething Tony Potts, who was mildly furious afterwards but played it off like it was all fun and games. No way. He was definitely ticked. And frankly, so was I. You know you're sulking at a celebrity event when Queen Latifah comes over to cheer you up.

Where does this leave me and Tony, you ask? Well, I'm going to one of those four-day driving schools to learn all the tricks. No, seriously. That's how competitive I am. Maybe I have a bad back and had to retire from basketball, but I can still drive cars and go-karts, right? Next year, I'm getting revenge on Tony -- whether it happens in a go-kart race, a stoplight on Wilshire, the 405 or wherever else -- and if it leads to one of those "Days of Thunder"-type messes where we're ramming into each other's cars in public for 20 blocks, so be it."

2/10/2007 7:09:03 PM

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