The project lead asks you how to sort in excel...

(Add your own. I know you have some good ones)

2/23/2007 10:21:28 AM

your boss doesn't have the right LaTeX packages to compile your dissertation!

2/23/2007 10:28:34 AM

message_topic.aspx?topic=376822?

2/23/2007 10:28:50 AM

^^ Why would you submit in raw latex form anyway? Convert that shit to PDF.

2/23/2007 10:47:17 AM

Eh, one of our team leaders where I work has a pretty strong grasp of the tool we use most often as part of our job, but is really weak when it comes to anything other than entering data into excel. Ok, maybe he can at least sort though.

2/23/2007 11:02:45 AM

^^ But then he can't make changes and piece it together with some other shit he needs to put in there

2/23/2007 11:03:59 AM

you show up to a client and your coworkers have told the client that you are the expert on the topic you just read about on the plane ride there

this has happened twice to me

2/23/2007 11:06:22 AM

the boss asks why you didn't decide to use Frontpage for the company website.

2/23/2007 11:18:48 AM

2/23/2007 11:29:20 AM

haha

2/23/2007 11:33:52 AM

I had to explain the concept of subclassing to a CSC in senior design

2/23/2007 1:11:23 PM

I love it when kids in the security dept dont know what the metasploit framwork is.

2/23/2007 1:37:23 PM

[unrelated tangent]

[Edited on February 23, 2007 at 1:51 PM. Reason : [/tangent]]

2/23/2007 1:46:10 PM

when you're pumping aqueous waste to another storage container and an unexpected green slime is in your hose.

2/23/2007 4:27:38 PM

^ Doesn't that lead to ninja turtles?

2/23/2007 4:32:00 PM

And rats, don't forget Splinter

2/23/2007 5:58:25 PM

At work, we hired this marketing/advertising firm to design us a good looking magazine print ad last year. They had 3 weeks to design 5 different examples. They didn't submit them to us until the 4th week and I took a look at them and said "hey, give me the resource disk and I could make a better ad in one night" to my co-worker. She gave me the high res files and I spent about 3 hours at home designing the ad (more like an hour cause I was watching tv too... :p). Next day I showed it to my co-workers and they were doily impressed.

For shitz and giggles, we printed my ad out and slipped it in with the 5 proofs from the ad firm for my boss to choose and he picked mine all else saying "this one looks a lot more professional then the rest, lets go with this one". Haha, then I broke the news about it was my design and then I asked for the 3k check since the ad firm got called out and sucked ass.

Not only that but I also called out the web designer that they hired to do our flash website. I pawned his ass too. My boss will never learn that I have skillz... love calling out professionals at their work when I can do a better job in a fraction of the time. Too bad I don't get paid like em.

2/23/2007 9:57:58 PM

When the manager doesn't know what the abbreviation of one of the products you support stands for.

2/23/2007 9:59:53 PM

Quote :

"When the manager doesn't know what the abbreviation of one of the products you support stands for."

haha, that happens daily at my work. You'd talk using the product lingo and they'd be confuse...

2/23/2007 10:01:06 PM

Quote :

"Not only that but I also called out the web designer that they hired to do our flash website. I pawned his ass too. My boss will never learn that I have skillz... love calling out professionals at their work when I can do a better job in a fraction of the time. Too bad I don't get paid like em. "

Just because your boss thinks something is better, doesnt mean it is. You hire a design firm because they have the experience to know what is going to be better to your audience. Your taste != your target audience's taste.

Now it's entirely possible you hired a shitty design firm and or web designer. The fact you were going to do the entire site in Flash tells me he sucked right off the bat.

2/24/2007 6:37:15 PM

all of the "designs" from the firm was crap. If you saw them you could understand that an 8 yr old could make better shit. I could guarantee you that anyone here on tww could pull something out of their ass and still be better then that firm. Pictures were cropped and skewed to weird dimensions (not all the same dimensions either when lined up). Used funky colors and even our logo was totally wrong. All they did was pretty much resized the pictures we gave them and just randomly put them together in 5 mins.

As for the flash designer, his coding was horrible. Lots of mis-aligned things such as buttons and graphics that just didn't seem right when you go from page to page. I got the preview .swf files and told the designer what he needed to do exactly in order to fix it, but then he demanded more money to fix the shit that he messed up in the 1st place. I pretty much said, give me the source files and I'll fix it myself. Spend the next 2 weeks cleaning his shit and got the website up and running, then just scrapped the whole thing and redesigned the website myself from scratch. I ended up spending about 3 months designing the new site and when it was released, the CEO even praised my work. I only work part time so that's why I spent 3 months. In contrast, the designer had from August and was told he could do it in a month. We didn't get the files till December...

When I go into work Monday, I'll try to find the files and show you. You'd be amazed that those people called themselves designers...

[Edited on February 24, 2007 at 8:12 PM. Reason : ]

2/24/2007 8:09:34 PM

Quote :

"My boss will never learn that I have skillz... love calling out professionals at their work when I can do a better job in a fraction of the time. Too bad I don't get paid like em. "

hmm you might be able to work faster and sometimes produce a better product but with an attitude like that, no one will promote you, even if you are awesome at what you do

2/24/2007 8:43:17 PM

if you knew me, I'm very much shy and reverent. It just always amazed me that when I try, I end up doing fantastic work when I don't really feel like it was any good in the 1st place. I actually just got promoted two weeks ago. 20% bump in pay.

2/24/2007 9:13:58 PM

Quote :

"As for the flash designer, his coding was horrible. Lots of mis-aligned things such as buttons and graphics that just didn't seem right when you go from page to page."

It's not that big of a problem. Nobody will ever see these errors because the site will never rank well in search engine.

2/25/2007 12:49:18 AM

when they go into user testing before development has begun.

2/25/2007 1:03:15 AM

You hear the words "Oops" and where did the index page go. (That's three times now).

2/27/2007 7:58:52 AM

your boss didn't go to college

2/27/2007 8:28:04 AM

it catches on fire


you software kids are spoiled.

2/27/2007 8:35:16 AM

Quote :

"It's not that big of a problem. Nobody will ever see these errors because the site will never rank well in search engine."

true, but we do have the old html site for search engine purposes. You can also use meta tags, but no more than 500 letters, or else google marks it as a bad link. Most of our customer based are not tech savvy people. Primarily hospitals and doctors that still use a windows 9x computer...

We get very little sales generation from search engines and website hits because we are in a niche market. I'm actually attending a marketing meeting on lead generation and website optimization Thursday. I haven't played with the old html site yet, so that'll be my next project, perhaps upgrade to a sql or php structure.

[Edited on February 27, 2007 at 12:08 PM. Reason : marketing]

2/27/2007 12:05:20 PM

uh he's definitely not my boss.

2/27/2007 1:58:06 PM

^You know you're in trouble with a project when... your boss didn't go to college

2/27/2007 7:14:46 PM

^Sorry to hear that JBaz, I wonder where he found those folks. Especially in the "web design" arena, 99.95% of the people out there are idiots and crackpots. Generally though, graphic design firms are a little easier to check up on.

2/27/2007 8:35:11 PM

On average, you have twice the number of temporary consultants/coops/interns working on your team as you do regulars...

2/27/2007 10:01:31 PM

the steam heater you are trying to optimize shakes so violently in the middle of the night that it basically breaks the steam line in half

[Edited on February 27, 2007 at 11:32 PM. Reason : M.]

2/27/2007 11:30:36 PM

the mortgage you originated doesn't fund

2/28/2007 3:01:00 PM

the project has been ongoing for a year, the deadline is next quarter, and they are just hiring a new employee to be the project lead. on top of that, with scope creep the estimated cost has quadrupled, without any work actually having been done yet.


yeah, i stepped into this one deep.

2/28/2007 4:10:43 PM

You know you're in trouble with a project when... the customer demands a redesign of the whole unit when the product is about 1 month from going public after 18 months of development. It's currently 10 months behind original launch date...

You know you're in trouble with a project when... no other project managers want to handle the project as it has been gossiped around the office as the 'career breaker' project after being handed off between 3 other managers and the last manager to get canned...

2/28/2007 7:38:33 PM