That is the question on my mind right now.

11/2/2007 2:52:00 PM

"It's not you. It's me."





"....now pack your shit."

11/2/2007 2:53:19 PM

you dont, just be upfront and get it over with

11/2/2007 3:55:02 PM

What Republican said.

This isn't something you can really be "nice" about. Don't beat around the bush either, just say what you have to say. It might be to the person's benefit if you could explain why you're firing them, but afaik you aren't legally required to say anything more than "you're fired, clear out your desk and have security escort you off the premises."

11/2/2007 4:00:15 PM

Your fired...call him/her over the phone....the easy way....

11/2/2007 6:05:59 PM

text message

omg u r fired!!

11/2/2007 7:40:41 PM

Quote :

"omg u r ur fired!!"

Fixed it.

11/2/2007 8:47:24 PM

Quote :

"omg ur fired gtfo!!!!"

fixed the fix.

11/3/2007 2:34:31 AM

You don't.

11/3/2007 8:43:56 AM

"your skill set does not currently match the needs of our company, and we are going to have to let you go."

11/3/2007 3:35:51 PM

management has decided to cancel your position, and replace it with a senior-level person

11/3/2007 3:57:16 PM

well, if you want to be nice about it, i suppose it should be:

Quote :

"omg ur fired gtfo, TY"

11/3/2007 4:08:49 PM

This is probably the toughest decision I will have to make with in the next year. To avoid severance and all that, I will just wait for the contract to expire and not renew it.

11/4/2007 4:20:59 PM

what Starbucks are you manager of?

11/4/2007 6:16:49 PM

Very funny Brent.

11/4/2007 7:54:11 PM

I would hire somebody to fire him.
Then fire that person you hired.

11/6/2007 2:11:42 PM

"you never really liked your job here right?"

11/6/2007 2:24:17 PM

where do you work fro real?

11/6/2007 2:44:25 PM

Quote :

"ianal but imo ur 2 n00b 4 us, gtfo plzkthxkbye roflcopter"

11/6/2007 4:14:10 PM

11/6/2007 4:24:13 PM

so, did you fire the person ?

fill us in.

i gots to know.

11/7/2007 2:32:20 AM

Quote :

"This is probably the toughest decision I will have to make with in the next year. To avoid severance and all that, I will just wait for the contract to expire and not renew it."

11/7/2007 7:38:18 AM

All your base are belong to me. Now make your time.

11/7/2007 10:37:25 AM

Call a meeting. At the meeting, say "Everyone who works here, stand up." Then point at the fired person as they get up and say "Not so fast buddy".

11/7/2007 3:11:11 PM

Quote :

"Call a meeting. At the meeting, say "Everyone who works here, stand up." Then point at the fired person as they get up and say "Not so fast buddy"."

ding ding ding WINNAR!

11/7/2007 3:15:26 PM

oh man. i lol'ed

thats just harsh.

11/7/2007 3:16:52 PM

"fix the glitch"

Change the locks and don't give the employee a key. Have HR just stop sending checks.

11/8/2007 10:51:54 AM

"our company has decided to move in a different direction"

12/1/2007 12:30:03 AM

i usually talk to my guys every three months individually about what they are doing right and wrong

i had one guy who just was not getting it done, i told him he needed to get things done at a faster pace, referring to his reviews

his reply was, and I quote "Mister Stephenson, I only have 2 speeds, and if you dont like this one, you sure aint gonna like the other one."

I was so ready to cuss his ass out, but managed to hold it in and calmly reply, "you just arent getting it done, im sorry, but Im going to have to let you go."

as fate would have it, he was my only black employee, so a few days later, this NAACP asshole rolls up in a 3-piece suit and a top hat and tells me he is going to take me to court

I pulled out the reviews that the guy had signed, and dared him to push further, he said he would, but now, 4 months later, he hasnt done anything

12/1/2007 2:30:59 AM

most companies have 3-6 month probation, you should know during that time frame if the individual is a "keeper" or not...and you dont have to give any reason.

[Edited on December 1, 2007 at 8:44 PM. Reason : w]

12/1/2007 8:42:46 PM

Quote :

"I only have 2 speeds, and if you dont like this one, you sure aint gonna like the other one."

Ahahaha. What kind of line of work are you in?

12/2/2007 2:12:43 PM

I sale and distribute explosives

he was one of my truck drivers/tech operators

12/2/2007 3:21:08 PM

"We're transferring you to the opportunity pool![/upbeat]"

12/3/2007 4:05:20 AM

Quote :

"I sale and distribute explosives"

I would really expect a salesperson to know the difference between sale and sell.

12/3/2007 10:10:56 AM

i would really expect someone who has been here long enough to be in Old School to get the point and not do all the n00bish grammar and spelling shit

12/3/2007 11:03:41 AM

I would really expect a salesperson to know not to stick it in NCSUJami.

12/3/2007 11:21:51 AM

are you still bitter about something I did or said to you a long time ago?

cause most people drop that shit after awhile, i guess if i wanted to piss you off and/or get under your skin, i did it, even though i do no even remember what i did

im sure you will come back and try to explain it away, cause i am either a "fag" or a "douchebag" or whatever, but you know its true


edit: back to the topic at hand, i am about ready to fire someone else today

[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 11:47 AM. Reason : ]

12/3/2007 11:46:28 AM

I'd like to by some explosives from you.

12/3/2007 11:54:48 AM

its not that easy anymore

you need:

a) a background check (done by ATF, they tell us whether or not we can sell to you, takes forever)

b) your own ATF license ($600/yr)

c) references that say you are not a terrorist

d) a qualified storage location (which i have to inspect)

e) qualified transport vehicle (or I can charge you a shitload for delivery)

f) if ATF wants to inspect you, you must let them do it any time 24/7

g) and most of all, good credit



before 9/11 you needed:

a) your checkbook

12/3/2007 12:05:08 PM

LOL that reaction was more than funny enough


[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 7:13 PM. Reason : .]

12/3/2007 3:11:59 PM

oh look mommy, the guy is coming back with the same old stuff

lame

but thanks for proving me right

12/3/2007 3:41:05 PM

hahaha

[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 7:51 PM. Reason : *]

12/3/2007 7:50:50 PM

did you post something up there

well, guess not

hahaha

now, im gonna fire someone tomorrow i think

12/3/2007 9:39:14 PM

^ out of a cannon?

12/5/2007 10:59:02 AM

"GTFO" ?

12/6/2007 3:17:48 PM

i just sent him home for 3 days

basically, he called in sick, and I had to really juggle shit around to get his delivery made

then at 1230, his wife called in to talk to him

i told her her wasnt there

im sure he got his when he got home

12/6/2007 6:03:32 PM

if you want to be particularly nice, then if he isn't performing as well as others, just make sure to say something to the effect of "this isn't the job for you"

12/6/2007 6:33:57 PM

http://tinyurl.com/25zhap

12/12/2007 3:10:46 PM

i was listening in on the someone (I think) firing one of the salespeople. They had been talking for a while about her performance and it was obvious she was defending herself like anyone would, then he must've interrupted her because he suddenly said:

"Look, based on what I see on [your manager]'s report, you are not prepared for this upcoming selling season, so no, you are not coming to market*, and I suggest you use the next couple of weeks to find a more suitable position."

* my company has a showroom we use twice a year

He gave her a chance to defend herself, she failed, he called her out, and he basically terminated her with two-week notice. Thing is, she works from home, so it's not like he was risking any sensitive data by doing it that way. It gives her an extra couple of weeks of having a paycheck at least.

2/5/2008 11:22:52 PM

Kill them. They will never know they were fired.

2/9/2008 10:02:07 AM