If you know that someone is repeatedly cheating on their girlfriend of more than two years...do you think you should let them know or stay out of it?

12/3/2007 12:11:25 PM

depends on how close that person is

12/3/2007 12:14:51 PM

as shitty as this sounds its probably better to help the cheater get caught then to say anything.
because if you say something the person who was cheated on will be pissed at you first and possibly never get over it.

12/3/2007 12:17:27 PM

^that's what I'm afraid of....either that or they won't believe me and still be pissed

12/3/2007 12:19:00 PM

set them up. The person being cheated on deserves to know one way or another so they can stop wasting their life on some piece of shit.

12/3/2007 12:20:07 PM

I would find a way to let them know without having to come right out and say it. It's best if the person being cheated on finds out on their own, but it doesn't hurt to nudge them in the right direction.

12/3/2007 12:23:41 PM

if you don't want to tell them face to face, send them an anonymous email to let them know.

12/3/2007 12:32:12 PM

if it were happening to me then i would rather know sooner than later

12/3/2007 12:48:25 PM

the anonymous email would be a good start

12/3/2007 12:49:50 PM

use the honesty box in facebook

12/3/2007 1:09:46 PM

^^agreed


or KNOW when they are cheating and set them up

really depends on how close both people are to you, they deserve to know but you dont need to be the tattle tell either. you can work it out or drop hints.

my ex was being cheated on and I felt she should know, so i told her one day...she didnt believe me because of course i was her ex...but a few months later her friends set her up and she caught him in the act

alot of times they wont believe you if you straight up tell them, so you need hard evidence, but then you look like you are prying too much...just go for the sneak

[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 1:10 PM. Reason : facebook threw me off]

12/3/2007 1:10:42 PM

yea, similar situation happened to me... I knew my roommate's gf was cheating on him but the person who told me didn't want their name put out there so I pretty much couldn't do shit about it. It was pretty obvious given the amount of time she spent with that guy and how pissed she got when the roommate tried to talk to the dude one time, but still wasn't obvious to him.

Ah well, she finally got caught a week or two later and I told him I had known but had no way to tell him and he agreed he wouldn't have believed me and it'd been a bad situation. So, yeah, set'em up

12/3/2007 1:27:14 PM

^^it's hard to know when because it's always with random girls he meets...so it's difficult to set him up. We're not really that close, but the guy used to be friends with my boyfriend, which is how I know. The cheater really doesn't seem to care that his friends know about it..but no one has ever thought to say anything to the girl. (either that or they don't want to piss of their friend) It's to the point where I almost fear for her health..it happens so often that you have to worry about STDs for her.

[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 1:31 PM. Reason : ^]

12/3/2007 1:31:00 PM

honestly not to sound negative but if its happened a lot and shes too dumb to figure it out, then she might deserve him

12/3/2007 1:33:35 PM

I tried to stop a friend from "cheating" one time.
That's when I found out they had an open relationship and made myself look like a dick all in one swift move.

It is probably a lot more common than most people think. I also went to a wedding like that one time where the girl was getting married, but her "boyfriend" was in attendance as well.

Not saying that is the case here. It's just food for thought for you guys. You don't always know what's right for each individual.

[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 1:56 PM. Reason : as]

12/3/2007 1:56:04 PM

Stop being a pussy and tell them. If it's a good friend then they shouldn't doubt you.

People who tell you to set them up have been watching too much tv.

12/3/2007 1:58:36 PM

12/3/2007 2:05:10 PM

Quote :

"It is probably a lot more common than most people think. I also went to a wedding like that one time where the girl was getting married, but her "boyfriend" was in attendance as well."

that's just impossibly nasty

12/3/2007 2:07:37 PM

Quote :

"either that or they don't want to piss of their friend"

Bro's before Hoes

12/3/2007 2:10:39 PM

I knew a guy who fucked the bachelorette at a bachelorette party raw in the bathroom at a shit hole bar in Atlantic Beach.

Also he had herpes.

12/3/2007 2:11:16 PM

i would tell her right in her face..

wait for a few tears..

and then laugh uncontrollably

[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 2:14 PM. Reason : .]

12/3/2007 2:13:53 PM

sweethart - you're a girl - you can tell your friend anything and it'll be all good. Guys can't because of guy-code. Trying to set someone up would just be tough as shit and make you look like a psycho-detective-perrymason-wannabe. Wait til you have proof and then tell your friend she's getting played.

12/3/2007 3:50:52 PM

Quote :

"sweethart - you're a girl - you can tell your friend anything and it'll be all good. Guys can't because of guy-code."

Is that YourFilosofy?

12/3/2007 3:55:37 PM

I was hanging out with a girl whose roommate was dating one of my best friends. She told me "I'm going to tell you something, but you have to promise not to tell *****." I said sure and she proceeded to tell me that her friend got drunk, brought a guy home, and blew him on the couch right in front of her. As soon as she said that, I told her "Excuse me for a second, I need to call ***** about this."

Ultimately the girlfriend said that she was drunk and that if it did happen she didn't remember it. That's pretty much a confession to anyone with half a brain.

12/3/2007 3:56:35 PM

Quote :

""Excuse me for a second, I need to call ***** about this.""

gg dude... but beware of HisFilosofy.

12/3/2007 3:58:34 PM

Clever.

12/3/2007 4:05:45 PM

Quote :

"sweethart - you're a girl - you can tell your friend anything and it'll be all good"

Thats one of the gayest sentences that I've read in a long time. It has a lisp when I read it to myself.

12/3/2007 4:09:09 PM

^ I'm not envious of that notion - I just think that's the way it is. I'm glad we have guy-code to where we don't rat on our close friends.

12/3/2007 4:11:46 PM

Quote :

"I knew a guy who fucked the bachelorette at a bachelorette party raw in the bathroom at a shit hole bar in Atlantic Beach. Also he had herpes."

what a cold-hearted fucking bitch of a whore. that is nightmarish.

12/3/2007 4:29:49 PM

^ Yeah, I go back and forth between feeling bad for her and thinking that she got what she deserved.

12/3/2007 4:33:55 PM

fuck her, i feel bad for her now husband (i assume)

12/3/2007 4:36:20 PM

On one hand she needs to know. On the other hand, she'll resent whoever tells her.


The real question is whether she is actually oblivious to this. It's hard to believe everyone else in the circle of friends knows what is going but she doesn't, unless she is a complete fool.

12/3/2007 4:42:25 PM

thats one thing that would be good about not having sex for a while before you wed... cause then you'd know if the bachelorette party got a little out of hand.

but damn that would suck

12/3/2007 4:50:05 PM

Quote :

" On the other hand, she'll resent whoever tells her."

I don't think so. What mature person would do that? Do you resent the oppressor or the one who carries the news of the oppression?

She will resent her "bf", not her gf for telling her.

12/3/2007 4:52:35 PM

^that's the problem, while we know each other we're not the best of friends...we just don't hang out regularly...really the only reason i know her is she's in my department here her bf and my bf were friends....so the problem becomes, why would she believe me over her bf? i just feel bad for her that everyone thinks her bf is such a great guy (was there for her through some pretty rough times...loss of family members) but meanwhile he was sleeping with random girls

12/3/2007 4:58:59 PM

Quote :

"thats one thing that would be good about not having sex for a while before you wed... cause then you'd know if the bachelorette party got a little out of hand. "

care to tell me exactly how?

how can you physically tell if a woman had intercourse with an accurate ability to timeline?

12/3/2007 5:05:36 PM

i always thought cheating was the cool thing to do

it seems pretty unpopular on this site though - hmmm

12/3/2007 5:06:01 PM

[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 5:30 PM. Reason : ]

12/3/2007 5:27:26 PM

If you tell someone that their s/o is cheating and they get mad at you for it they'll inevitably find out the truth at some point and totally kiss your ass for being the only person who warned them. You'll practically own them at that point and you can exploit it for free dinners, free housework, etc. It's an investment of sorts.

12/3/2007 5:47:31 PM

pm me her email address and i will email her.

i will say i am one of her her close friends, and that my info is true and many people know it and that i care about her.

i am serious.

[Edited on December 3, 2007 at 5:48 PM. Reason : ^ oh so that's how you got rich??? ]

12/3/2007 5:47:34 PM

most people don't believe it when they're told their s/o is cheating

i think you should tell her anyway, to either plant the seed or make her put the clues together on her own

once she realizes what is going on, she'll know she can count on you to tell her shit she needs to know, even if she doesn't want to hear it. a friend that will tell you stuff like that is hard to find. (as long as you're sure he's cheating-- bc if you're wrong thats major drama)

12/3/2007 6:45:09 PM

Quote :

"set them up. The person being cheated on deserves to know one way or another so they can stop wasting their life on some piece of shit."

i don't like cussing, but that is pretty spot on.
nobody should have to endure being cheated on. i'd want someone to tell me if they know and they really want care about me.

12/3/2007 7:08:13 PM

you should find out if she is cheating on him. she might know what he's doing and she has done the same to get back at him. i know of a few girls who have done that. but it might be hard to find out in your case since you aren't that close to her.

12/3/2007 8:42:12 PM

12/3/2007 9:08:52 PM

Quote :

"Quote : "either that or they don't want to piss of their friend" Bro's before Hoes"

Only one of those groups will have their mouth near your balls... I vote for not pissing them off.

Quote :

"Quote : "I knew a guy who fucked the bachelorette at a bachelorette party raw in the bathroom at a shit hole bar in Atlantic Beach. Also he had herpes." what a cold-hearted fucking bitch of a whore. that is nightmarish."

Hell, almost everyone has it already anyways. 1 in 5 Americans 12 or older have genital herpes and somewhere between 50% and 80% of the population has oral herpes (which can easily be transmitted to the genitals). Oh, and almost 90% of the people with herpes (either type) are completely unaware that they have it. Happy mating!

12/4/2007 1:10:54 AM

i just don't understand why people cheat. I mean I understand why but I just don't see why you wouldn't just get out of the relationship instead first. If you have any ounce of respect/care/love anything, you just wouldn't do that to someone.

My favorite now are the girls who tell you that they have been cheated on before and how they would never do that blah blah blah, yet it happens anyway.

12/4/2007 5:01:43 AM

like someone else said, just plant the seed. the power of suggestion will take over and she can only kid herself for so long.

i was cheated on and it's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. i'm still dealing with it more than 6 months later. i'm glad that if i had to be cheated on, it was a one-time super-drunk deal and not some kind of real relationship behind my back.

sounds like your friend isn't so "lucky". i hate when people cheat and whoever that guy is, he doesn't deserve your friend (unless she's doing the same thing).

12/4/2007 6:39:24 AM

see if you can try to get up with him and then be like yo he came on to me

12/4/2007 7:09:54 AM

Thanks for the help guys...I'm still trying to figure out the best way to tell her, but I really think she needs to know.

12/4/2007 8:31:26 AM

I think there are a few different situations here that should be handled differently:

1) Your best friend is the one that's cheating; Don't say a word to the significant other... say whatever you want to your friend, but busting your friend does violate some trust.

2) Your best friend is the one that's being Cheated ON; TELL THEM... OH DEAR GOD... TELL THEM

3) You're pretty close to both parties (from reading the posts this seems like Sweethart)
This one is trickier... but I would say Tell the Cheater that he/she has X number of days to fess up to the other before you rat them out. That way you're not supporting supporting the cheating BUT you're not really going behind anyone's back to rat them out. You've been up front with both people as best you can.

[Edited on December 4, 2007 at 9:56 AM. Reason : noobaliscious]

12/4/2007 9:55:42 AM