Funny Facts about Lutherans
1. Lutherans believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.
2. Lutherans like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.
3. Lutherans believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.
4. Lutherans usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins.
5. Lutherans believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.
6. Lutherans feel that applauding for their children's choirs would make the kids too proud and conceited.
7. Lutherans think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.
8. Lutherans drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.
9. Some Lutherans still believe that an ELCS bride and an LCMS groom make for a mixed marriage.

you know you're a Lutheran when:

*It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service;
*You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can;
*Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee;
*The communion cabinet is open to all, but the coffee cabinet is locked up tight;
*When you watch a 'Star Wars' movie and they say,"May the Force be with you," you respond, 'and also with you';
*And lastly, it takes 15 minutes to say, "Good-bye".




Feb. 18 is National Hug a Lutheran Day....have you hugged your Lutheran today?



My favorite Lutheran:




When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic." Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it.

The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!"

Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak: "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef", and as he sprinkled salt over the meat he said, "and NOW you are a FISH!"

2/11/2008 8:56:37 PM

didnt read it

2/11/2008 8:56:59 PM

nope

2/11/2008 8:57:17 PM

wat? threadworthy?

2/11/2008 8:57:56 PM

lol

2/11/2008 8:58:34 PM

wow another useless National Something Day

2/11/2008 8:58:58 PM

this is a terrible thread

its like evan made a thread, then Beardawg61 shit on that thread, then gunzz beat off onto the shit that was already on this thread

thats how bad it is

2/11/2008 8:59:06 PM

its my birthday thats all that matters

2/11/2008 8:59:19 PM

lutherans suck

2/11/2008 8:59:59 PM

damn...just hug a lutheran on that day and you get to go to heaven

2/11/2008 9:00:30 PM

that's not very lutheran

2/11/2008 9:01:02 PM

How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?

We read that we are to so fear and love God that we cannot by our own effort or understanding comprehend the replacement of an electromagnetic photon source. It is, rather by faith, NOT by our efforts (effected toward the failed worldly incandescence), that we truly see, and that our own works cannot fully justify us in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Of course, it is still dark.

2/11/2008 9:05:22 PM

Lutheranism is a fugazi religion anway

Like Quakers

2/11/2008 9:06:18 PM

Lutheranism is not a religion

it's a denomination part of the Christian religion

2/11/2008 9:10:09 PM

does this look like Minnesota to you? get that nonsense outta here and go ice fishing with your Lutheran pals

2/11/2008 9:12:37 PM

I know...I feel so outa place in North Carolina sometimes...I'd go there if it wasn't for the cold, and the way the say bag, and creek, and roof, and soda, and the lack of them saying y'all

2/11/2008 9:14:02 PM

ha ha ha ha ha!!!

and they all have wacky-ass last names like "Segerstrom" or "Kristofffersen"

2/11/2008 9:16:34 PM

I get my fair share of it when I'm at the camp I worked at this summer. The pastor that works there is from Wisconsin and I have caught myself saying so and oh in a very weird manner

2/11/2008 9:18:23 PM

it's like the movie Fargo, only in real life!

2/11/2008 9:21:15 PM

(((sawahash))) a few days early

and just try being Lutheran in West Virginia if you want to get funny looks

2/11/2008 9:33:23 PM

the only part about Lutheranism that i like is the harmonizing during hymns

2/11/2008 9:36:01 PM

oh, and my all-time favorite Lutheran spoof (Onion, NSFW):

http://tinyurl.com/2wgdza

2/11/2008 9:37:51 PM

Hey dere sawahash

2/11/2008 9:40:14 PM

Lutherans are so boring, thats like saying "he look, a baptist"

2/11/2008 9:42:34 PM

I am a pretty boring person

2/11/2008 9:46:31 PM

have you ever been unfortunate enough to stumble onto Prairie Home Companion on the radio?

now imagine if everyone you went to church with was like that boring host dude and you have ... Lutheranism!!

2/11/2008 9:47:34 PM

I didnt mean they were boring people, I just meant they are so common that its boring to meet a Lutheran

2/11/2008 9:50:01 PM

^^I actually like that show...I got the DVD it's pretty good

^Lutherans common? I'd like to know where you go that Lutherans are as common as Baptists?

2/11/2008 9:52:59 PM

I've met tons of Lutherans

2/11/2008 9:53:42 PM

well I was exaggerating a bit for comedic effect. I like the songs and stuff they have

but those monologues from Lake Woebegone are sooooooo boring!

2/11/2008 9:57:52 PM

haha catawba county is actually colored in! but there are hardly any lutherans around here...

[Edited on February 11, 2008 at 10:04 PM. Reason : ]

2/11/2008 9:58:14 PM