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http://guy-sports.com/humor/jokes/jokes_politics.htm
| Quote : | "1) Funny Political Jokes and One-Liners
* Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
Ambrose Bierce
* 'The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.' Will Rogers
* 'In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.' Thomas Pickering
* 'Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.' Ronald Reagan
* I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty. Nancy Reagan
* When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' Theodore Roosevelt (Could have been any number of presidents since)
* 'The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it'. Ronald Reagan
* 'I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting'. Ronald Reagan
* Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
Doug LarsonPolitician at work
* Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either. Gore Vidal
* 'Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it wrongly, and applying unsuitable remedies'. Sir Ernest Benn
* 'In politics, absurdity is not a handicap'. Napoleon Bonaparte.
* On my arrival in the United States I was struck by the degree of ability among the governed and the lack of it among the governing.' Alexis de Toqueville
* 'Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy'. Ernest Benn
* 'Politics makes strange bedfellows rich'. Wayne Haisley
* 'There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you'. Will Rogers
* 'Politicians make strange bedfellows, but they all share the same bunk'. Edgar A. ShoaffPolitical one-liners. French army knife
* 'You can fool all of the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.' Joseph Levine
* 'Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges, even where there are no rivers'. Nikita Kruschchev
* 'Artificial hearts are nothing new. Politicians have had them for years.' Mack McGinnis
* Don't vote. You'll only encourage them.
Anon
* 'Although he is regularly asked to do so, God does not take sides in American politics.' George Mitchell.
* A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Mark Twain
* Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers
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 3/1/2008 7:04:41 AM
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