i think about death /suicide/mass homicide often.

these thoughts are made more intense when i am drunk...

if i hated someone else as much as i hate myself i would them to frag themselves'...

life is a waste of time but yet im not willing to give up on it yet...



i just need some acceptance or a word of encouragement once in a while...

please dont foreget me

(this is not a suicide note, it is just what is going threw my head (since everyone i have ever met is leaving me)

5/23/2008 1:49:59 AM

first

Quote :

"threw"

5/23/2008 1:50:14 AM

second and ps can you find any marijuana?

5/23/2008 1:51:00 AM

killyourself

[Edited on May 23, 2008 at 1:53 AM. Reason : stiletto]

5/23/2008 1:52:08 AM

Stiletto was a friend of mine

he apearently had more balls than i do since he followed through...


i wont forget him


i dont foreget, and i dont forgive

one day... one day...




















































































i may get the help i need

5/23/2008 2:05:09 AM

i wish i woulda met stiletto...i bet he'd be alive right now imo

5/23/2008 2:06:11 AM

stop taking yourself so seriously, and things should fall into place for you

5/23/2008 2:06:32 AM

Please get help. Find a counselor or something in the area. It is a HUGE pain in the ass to do, and you might (or probably will) have to find a couple counselors before you find one that you like, but don't give up hope, ok?

Try finding something new to do where you can make friends, like start training in Karate or something in the area. Make sure you talk to a counselor about things first. If you run out of friends (even e-friends), it can be very difficult finding somebody to talk to about what's troubling you and difficult to move on from that.

Also, go pour out every alcoholic beverage in your house or give it away to you neighbors or something and stay off the stuff until you move on from this.

5/23/2008 2:06:39 AM

http://www.cutefunnyanimals.com/


look at animals!

5/23/2008 2:07:39 AM

seriously....take a jog tomorrow morning

[Edited on May 23, 2008 at 2:09 AM. Reason : 123]

5/23/2008 2:08:06 AM

I love you. Seriously.

[no homo][Seriously]

[Edited on May 23, 2008 at 2:08 AM. Reason : ]

5/23/2008 2:08:35 AM

Quote :

"and you might (or probably will) have to find a couple counselors before you find one that you like"

I just wanted to second this. I am twenty-six and I first required psychiatric care at the age of thirteen. Sometimes you have to go through a few therapists who don't speak your language before you find one that does. And they are powerful people. They say very little, but somehow they can change your life.

5/23/2008 2:09:11 AM

I personally think you need to play some GTA: IV with some cheats on....after like an hour you will have alot of homicidal rage out of you

5/23/2008 2:14:00 AM

Yeah I had a counselor that I talked to last fall that I didn't like at all. Luckily I made some life changes at that point that REALLY made me feel a lot better, and now I'm feeling 800% better than I was last fall (though I'm quite a bit poorer).

Try to make some good changes for yourself. Look at what's really nagging you about your life right now... your job, where you live, school, whatever and change that something for the better. Changing one thing can really do it sometimes.

Of course, make sure you see a counselor too. If you've got health insurance (through work or through your parents), they probably have a line you can call up to get some references in the area for counselors (if you're no idea where to begin and are feeling a bit overwhelmed). If you're still a student, you can sign up at the student health center. Given your thoughts you're having, you could probably get to see the counselor on-call. Just be aware that getting an appointment there will take a month (or it did when I tried to see somebody), so if you have health insurance you might want to talk to a counselor in Raleigh (maybe somebody you could find online in the yellow pages).

[Edited on May 23, 2008 at 2:18 AM. Reason : I mean that if you sign up for an appointment, it will probably be for 1 month later at the earliest]

5/23/2008 2:16:33 AM

my roomate just reminded me to not use the internet when i am drunk

5/23/2008 2:31:10 AM

^winnar

5/23/2008 2:33:36 AM

these are normal thoughts i have


worry not; they will have no impact on you what so ever because i do not need the pitty of those that do not know me


the individule is ignorable

5/23/2008 2:34:26 AM

individual???

5/23/2008 2:35:55 AM