http://www.cracked.com/article_15895_5-most-badass-presidents-all-time.html

this is good.

5/29/2008 9:23:19 PM

meh

i knew who number 1 would be....didnt know jfk fucked so much...the one guy that swam the potomac is pretty cool

5/29/2008 9:34:32 PM

hahahah this is hilarious

5/29/2008 9:53:55 PM

Quote :

"Andrew Jackson was the first president on whom an assassination attempt was made. A man named Richard Lawrence approached Jackson with two pistols both of which, for some reason, misfired. With the possibility of an assassination taken off the table, Jackson proceeded to beat Lawrence near death with his cane until Jackson's aides pulled him off the assassin."

no balls in politicians anymore. no balls

5/29/2008 10:08:42 PM

If anyone is ahead of Old Hickory in this list, the list was made wrong.

Oh, Washington was a badass. But you just can't beat Jackson. Really, he will never be surpassed.

5/29/2008 10:26:42 PM

yeah, they left out his crushing of the national bank and utter genocide of native americans (hell, death while LEAVING their homes, to boot)

no way he shouldn't be number one

john quincy adams was a surprise

5/29/2008 10:32:09 PM

honestly i was wondering why they didnt mention the indian genocide thing

5/29/2008 10:33:12 PM

cracked magazine (already trying to reinvent itself as not a Mad magazine clone [though now is an onion imitator]) isn't trying to get that sort of attention

5/29/2008 10:37:01 PM

I like Andrew Johnson because on the day that he was inaugurated as VP he showed up drunk and cussed out congress.

5/29/2008 10:38:52 PM

they didnt mention teddy sending a shitload of mexicans back into mexico either

5/29/2008 10:39:11 PM

gah, I hate all of these guys except washington

5/29/2008 10:45:50 PM

i disagree, marko
they are all over the place. have been since they came online and lost the magazine again.

they have gotten stuck on "top ___ ___ of all time!" lists, but imitating the onion is probably an accusation leveled at quite a few comedy websites that don't first get accused of imitating something awful or 4chan

i think they're finding a niche' and they have some fantastic writers sometimes

5/29/2008 10:48:49 PM

good to hear

i used to read cracked all the time as a kid and it's good to hear they're striking out fresh ground

5/29/2008 10:54:05 PM

I knew #1 and #5 would be there. Somehow I didn't even think about Washington.

5/29/2008 10:57:20 PM

John Quincy Adams is the surprise.

5/29/2008 10:58:16 PM

i know this doesn't belong here AT ALL

but

sometimes i go fecal before i shower (usually i put a book on the seat to remind me to flush after the shower)

then my gf comes in and discovers my #2

i think from now on

imma refer to that as "john quincy adams"

5/29/2008 11:09:25 PM

lmao

5/29/2008 11:11:04 PM

i dont get it

[Edited on May 29, 2008 at 11:15 PM. Reason : even reread quincy adams page to try and get it and still didnt]

5/29/2008 11:14:51 PM

I agree with Teddy and Washington hands down. Andrew Jackson may have been badass but the whole Indian Removal Act thing makes me severely dislike him as a president. I am glad though that they did put someone cliche like Lincoln. "Omg he defeated teh South rawr rawr"

5/30/2008 12:18:59 AM

It always surprises me that Andrew Jackson is so well ranked as a president despite his treatment of the Indians, while Woodrow Wilson is generally written off as a white supremacist despite a very successful, albeit controversial presidency. He's still the only one that we've had who held a PhD.

5/30/2008 12:27:00 AM

Quote :

"go fecal"

that's a new one

5/30/2008 12:41:56 AM

The link is blocked at my work,

But Jackson wasn't #1?

Did they mention his dueling habits?

Quote :

"Dickinson fired the first shot, which broke two of Jackson's ribs and lodged two inches from his heart. Dickinson then had to stand at the mark as Jackson, clutching his chest, aimed slowly and shot him fatally. Though acceptable by the code of the times, many people considered it a cold-blooded killing."

5/30/2008 7:50:50 AM

^

Quote :

"On one occasion, he challenged a man named Charles Dickinson to a duel, (the reason behind it wasn't important, not to us and certainly not to Jackson), and Jackson was even kind enough to give Dickinson the first shot. We're gonna go ahead and repeat that: In a duel with pistols, Jackson politely volunteers to be shot at first. Dickinson happily obliged and shot Jackson, who proceeded to shake it off like it was a bee sting. When Jackson returned the favor, Dickinson was not so lucky, and that's why his face isn't on the twenty. The bullet, by the by, remained in Jackson's body for 19 years because, we assume, Jackson knew that time spent removing the bullets would just fall under the general category of "time not dueling," Jackson's least favorite category."

5/30/2008 8:39:54 AM

The style of the article makes it clearly not a Soap box thread.. you just wanted to take credit all your own... but it is awesome.

5/30/2008 8:47:56 AM

Quote :

"gah, I hate all of these guys except washington"

the more you know about any president, the less you will like them. that holds true for probably just about all of them. sad times


[Edited on May 30, 2008 at 11:27 AM. Reason : ]

5/30/2008 11:19:38 AM

Quote :

"gah, I hate all of these guys except washington"

I don't think, if you took the time to investigate it, Washington's fiscal policies.

Which begs the question, is there a single US President you would ever like?

5/30/2008 11:39:11 AM

I think B Franklin would have made a decent president.

5/30/2008 11:50:18 AM

he probably never would have had time to invent anything if he was president

plus he died like a year after washington took office...so the timing was kinda wonky

5/30/2008 12:06:35 PM

tafts wife wanted to fire all the caucasian whitehouse servants cause she couldnt treat them like black servants

5/30/2008 12:20:45 PM

Quote :

"the more you know about any president, the less you will like them. that holds true for probably just about all of them. sad times"

not

5/30/2008 12:25:31 PM

This of course begs the question of who are the 5 most pussy presidents of all time.

James K. Polk should probably make it to that top of that list.

The fella shot blanks.

Quote :

"He courted Sarah Childress, and they married on January 1, 1824. Polk was then 28, and Childress was 20 years old. Through their marriage, they had no children. They were married until his death in 1849."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_K._Polk

He was Andrew Jackson's bitch in Congress.

Quote :

"In Congress, Polk was a firm supporter of Jacksonian democracy. He opposed the Second Bank of the United States, favored gold and silver over paper money, distrusted banks, and preferred agricultural interests over industrial ones. This behavior earned him the nickname "Young Hickory," an allusion to Andrew Jackson's sobriquet, "Old Hickory." "

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_K._Polk

AND HE DIDN'T DUEL!!

Quote :

"Polk attempted to make a more orderly House; he maintained the gag rule against abolitionist petitions against slavery, and he himself steadily declined to react to Whig personal attacks by dueling, as was still customary"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_K._Polk

What a fairy!!

5/30/2008 12:33:43 PM

A little surprised to not see Zachary Taylor on there.....

And JFK is badass because he broke into the navy and banged a few chics?

These other guys are badass because they are fighters, and he is badass because he is a player? What no Clinton?

5/30/2008 12:46:50 PM

lol jfk was eating lobster and steak

clinton was dippin french fries in a milkshake

5/30/2008 1:00:11 PM

lol

5/30/2008 1:11:58 PM

^^ Good point....but Taylor's nickname was Old Rough and Ready....he was most-def badass.

5/30/2008 1:39:38 PM

It's almost as if they consider violence and misogyny positive.

5/30/2008 2:18:28 PM

Quote :

"not"

what was the point of that

5/30/2008 5:17:30 PM

Quote :

""gah, I hate all of these guys except washington""

Fuck Washington. The guy spends years commanding revolutionaries fighting against oppressive taxation. What's the first thing he does upon assuming the presidency? He raises an army to put down a tax revolt.

5/30/2008 11:23:50 PM

But hopefully you see the difference there. It is one thing to be taxed by your own government and something totally wrong about being taxed by what seemed like a foreign government given the distance and divergent cultures.

5/30/2008 11:38:54 PM

Yeah, the whole reason for the war was because the colonies didn't get representation in Parliament. "No taxation without representation." It's different when a government you actually have a say in is taxing you.

5/31/2008 5:05:21 AM

Arguing against Megaloman is like slamming your head into a brick wall made out of knives.

You read that right.

Don't worry, anything he says defies all sense, too.

5/31/2008 5:16:58 AM

Quote :

"But hopefully you see the difference there"

Then you hope in vain sir. Taxation is theft. Furthermore, since I govern myself, all governments (so-called) are foreign to me.

5/31/2008 6:32:24 AM

wow.

5/31/2008 6:52:44 AM

Quote :

"This of course begs the question of who are the 5 most pussy presidents of all time. James K. Polk should probably make it to that top of that list."

Psssh. Manifest Destiny.

Buchanan is the obvious choice for #1

Quote :

"Fry: what was the point of that"

The more you learn about presidents, the more human they become. To think that these men were human beings with serious faults and inner conflicts makes their accomplishments all the more impressive.

5/31/2008 8:14:26 AM

Heh. I'm glad to see Megaloman84 back. Unlike most anarchists, I still enjoy some libertarian rants.

5/31/2008 8:47:54 PM

So I'm guessing Megaloman isn't a fan of roads or the military then?

5/31/2008 9:01:26 PM

Yes thanks for trotting out the most tired and hackneyed statist strawmen.

Gee, I've been an anarchist for a number of years now, and it has simply never occurred to me that transportation and defense might actually be valuable services,

Thank you for pointing out the howling error in my apolitical philosophy.

For the record, I have no problems with roads or organizations of armed people per se. I have a problem with these functions being monopolized by violent, predatory criminals who have the power to unilaterally set and extract the price for their services and then decide afterwards how much and how well they're going to actually provide them, and what additional unwanted services they're going to tack onto the bill just for fun.

I mean, people screamed bloody murder for a number of years about Microsoft using its supposed monopoly power to bundle IE with Windows. A lot of these people, when confronted by the prospect of paying for a trillion dollar welfare state and an equally costly policy of aggressive foreign imperialism, shrug their shoulders and issue some sort of tired bromide like "well, that's the price we pay for freedom"

I say fuck that shit.

5/31/2008 9:52:45 PM

So you're definitely not a fan of capitalism then?

5/31/2008 10:04:33 PM

Wow your conclusion jumping skills continue to amaze me.

I am, in point of fact an anarcho-capitalist.

I believe that private property, division of labor and the price system are fundamental to civilization itself.

I believe that any product or service worth having, including law, security, defense, safety regulation, education, health care, and all others, can best be provided by competitive, profit-seeking, free-market firms or by voluntary. non-coercive social, community and civic organizations.

More importantly, I believe that trying to do things any other way is unjust, immoral, tyrannical and criminally insane.

5/31/2008 10:16:30 PM

Quote :

"I have a problem with these functions being monopolized by violent, predatory criminals who have the power to unilaterally set and extract the price for their services and then decide afterwards how much and how well they're going to actually provide them, and what additional unwanted services they're going to tack onto the bill just for fun."

Jesus.

6/1/2008 9:29:13 AM