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 Message Boards » » How to silently assassinate a "yorkie" Page [1] 2, Next  
Mulva
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Before moving in a few weeks ago to this new place, my roomate assured me she'd be getting rid of a few of her beloved yorkshire terries, fucking "yorkies". She has yet to do so, and I'm at my wits end with these awful animals.

I hate these dogs with a passion, noisy rats. I'm about to either move right back out unless someone can recommend a quick and painful method of offing these shitty rat bastards.

6/9/2008 1:16:17 PM

mytwocents
All American
20654 Posts
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Hire Newman & Co.

6/9/2008 1:16:44 PM

fjjackso
All American
14538 Posts
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6/9/2008 1:17:16 PM

beatsunc
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10746 Posts
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uhh put rat poison in some ground beef. cant be that hard

6/9/2008 1:17:42 PM

Mulva
All American
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I don't know any ninjas, wassat about this newman & co.?

6/9/2008 1:17:57 PM

AndyMac
All American
31922 Posts
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Just sell them.

[Edited on June 9, 2008 at 1:18 PM. Reason : when the roomate isn't there]

6/9/2008 1:18:27 PM

sd2nc
All American
9963 Posts
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Call the SPCA and tell them your roommate beats the dogs. You can remain anonymous.

6/9/2008 1:20:28 PM

blasphemour
All American
57594 Posts
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i'll take a female

6/9/2008 1:21:23 PM

Skack
All American
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I bet a grilled Yorkie would be tasty. All tender and lean.

6/9/2008 1:21:24 PM

lmnop
All American
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6/9/2008 1:21:49 PM

Mulva
All American
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Yeah, if someone wants to buy these things I'll gladly put them in a potato gun and air mail them to you

6/9/2008 1:22:06 PM

sumfoo1
soup du hier
41043 Posts
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NCSUGIRL83 told me she wants one.

6/9/2008 1:22:39 PM

darkone
(\/) (;,,,;) (\/)
11610 Posts
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Send them to the Will it blend? people.

6/9/2008 1:37:24 PM

blah
All American
4532 Posts
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i'll take one

6/9/2008 1:37:57 PM

BevMachine
Veteran
114 Posts
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I second the rat poison if you want them to suffer, a friend of mine had a dog that got in to the DefCon rat poison.....most of its hair fell out then it died from internal bleeding, it looked painful....but it took only a couple days

6/9/2008 1:42:50 PM

fjjackso
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Quote :
"got into"


uh huh

6/9/2008 1:47:57 PM

Mulva
All American
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^I bet if I give the Defcon slowly over a period of weeks it will greatly intensify the suffering. I'm worried about giving myself away though.

"No, roomate, I have no idea where this giant tub of rat poison came from, I assumed it was yours"

6/9/2008 1:48:42 PM

Malagoat
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that rat poison story is cruel. did your friend know that it had gotten into the rat poison? there is an antidote if you catch it in time.

6/9/2008 1:52:56 PM

furikuchan
All American
687 Posts
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God no, it has to be quick, or they're going to be annoying as shit as they yelp and lie on the ground slowly dying and begging for help. Like Postal with yorkies.
"Yip...Yip...Yip..." *EXECUTE*
It's almost 4th of july. Bet you could tie one to a really big rocket and no one would notice the charred dog bits in with the ash floating down...

6/9/2008 1:53:05 PM

neodata686
All American
11577 Posts
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There's an Anaconda at the NC Museum of Natural Sciences.

6/9/2008 1:57:55 PM

se7entythree
YOSHIYOSHI
17377 Posts
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just drop them off at an animal shelter in another county

6/9/2008 2:08:46 PM

Konami
All American
10855 Posts
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Sorry, I only know how to assassinate yorkies very loudly

6/9/2008 2:10:41 PM

mytwocents
All American
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Soooo...no one got my reference?

6/9/2008 2:13:36 PM

lmnop
All American
4809 Posts
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No.

6/9/2008 2:14:58 PM

DivaBaby19
Davidbaby19
45208 Posts
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how old are the yorkies?

I want one haha

6/9/2008 2:15:33 PM

Nitrocloud
Arranging the blocks
3072 Posts
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Gun + bullet + Pillow

6/9/2008 2:18:12 PM

neodata686
All American
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6/9/2008 2:18:34 PM

Jader
All American
2869 Posts
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i heard chocolate is really bad for dogs. maybe even fatal. death by chocolate?

6/9/2008 2:19:09 PM

neodata686
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6/9/2008 2:20:51 PM

Arab13
Art Vandelay
45173 Posts
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Quote :
"Call the SPCA and tell them your roommate beats the dogs. You can remain anonymous."


all the other ways will result in backfiring on you and you will get fucked

6/9/2008 2:22:24 PM

Amsterdam718
All American
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the one with the hat is cool.

this is disturbing:

Quote :
"uhh put rat poison in some ground beef. cant be that hard"



just give it away on craiglists or something. even someone from tdub would get it off your hands.

6/9/2008 2:30:18 PM

Lutra
All American
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Yorkies for some odd reason are in high demand. If your roommate or you put forth even a minimal effort, I'm sure you'd find good owners who would spoil them and dress them up and take them to Home Depot in their shopping cart.

6/9/2008 2:46:57 PM

NC86
All American
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i know of a couple sorrority girls who graduated without a ring on their finger... that bought one of these.

6/9/2008 2:50:00 PM

parentcanpay
All American
3186 Posts
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down them with the snub and use the curb stomp

6/9/2008 2:57:27 PM

poopface
All American
29367 Posts
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if kill a dog, i will find out how to silently assassinate you

6/9/2008 2:59:30 PM

ReceiveDeath
INEED2 GET HIRITENOW
70283 Posts
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fuck yappy dogs

a bullet will do nicely

6/9/2008 3:01:05 PM

GGMon
All American
6462 Posts
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one word - curbstomp

6/9/2008 3:02:20 PM

bcsawyer
All American
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temik

6/9/2008 4:47:13 PM

Walls1441
All American
10000 Posts
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Quote :
"IF

KILL

A

DOG"

6/9/2008 4:54:05 PM

Demathis1
All American
4364 Posts
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buy a bigger, meaner dog.

my aunt had a really annoying Jack Russel that would never shut up and would constantly try and attack other dogs.

One day he went up against the neighbor's doberman...
No more barking.

6/9/2008 5:01:17 PM

puppy
All American
8888 Posts
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Quote :
"It's almost 4th of july. Bet you could tie one to a really big rocket and no one would notice the charred dog bits in with the ash floating down..."

you are cruel.

Mulva, I have had a roommate kill my pet before. Don't be that person.

by the way, how many of these awful creatures does she have?

[Edited on June 9, 2008 at 5:04 PM. Reason : question]

6/9/2008 5:02:58 PM

Mulva
All American
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^Four.

FOUR FUCKING YORKIES. I don't even respect this person any more, who in their right mind could hear that sound more than once and not instantly think "I will bring death to everything that makes this noise".

I gotta get out of here

6/9/2008 5:19:11 PM

FykalJpn
All American
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1) procure a large box, dryer hose, and duct tape
2) create appropriately-sized hole in box and insert dryer hose, use tape to seal any gaps
3) place candidate yorkie in box and fold flaps closed
4) run dryer hose to tailpipe and start car
5) drink beer
6) dispose of evidence garbage
7) repeat as necessary

6/9/2008 8:34:57 PM

PirateARRRny
All American
1260 Posts
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^ ha, awesome

6/9/2008 8:39:23 PM

iphotou
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If I am reading your post correct, you moved into the apartment with the pre-existing condition of the Yorkies. It also seems that you have only a verbal agreement that some of the pets would be removed.

So if the apartment is in someone else's name, it seems like you have to accept whatever was there before you moved in, unless removal of the animals was agreed upon as a condition of you moving in.

You should be discussing the dog situation with your roommate.

6/9/2008 8:59:34 PM

datman
All American
4812 Posts
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thats how our game wardens euthanize feral cats and coons and foxes

6/9/2008 9:09:33 PM

TaterSalad
All American
6256 Posts
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Other than




It sounds like your best option is


Quote :
"I'm about to either move right back out"





Seriously though, why would you want to kill dogs that were in the house first? Just move out if you don't like them and shut the fuck up

6/9/2008 9:15:39 PM

BevMachine
Veteran
114 Posts
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about my friends dog, we were in BFE maine and a 2 mile walk, a twon mile lake crossing, 27 miles to the nearest phone, then about a good 6-7 hour drive past that to a vet......the odds didn't look good for little Rajah.....especially since it was a good day or so before we realized what was wrong

6/10/2008 12:24:58 AM

SweetTreats
All American
8563 Posts
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wow i hope someone "offs" you just because they dont like the way you talk/act

6/10/2008 12:31:39 AM

3 of 11
All American
6276 Posts
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Hot Car.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/09/06/police.dog/index.html


seriously though, make money, sell on CL.

[Edited on June 10, 2008 at 2:05 AM. Reason : ]

6/10/2008 2:04:37 AM

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