i always wanted to go to harvard

6/20/2008 12:43:18 PM

to skip school, do drugs and kill people

6/20/2008 12:45:14 PM

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY SHIT IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS ALL CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS GODDAMN KABOOM. THIS SHIT COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR DICK, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. FUCK.

IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS FUCKING KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME GODDAMN ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, NIGGER. THOSE FUCKING TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU SHARPEN YOUR FUCKING SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT NIGGERS.

SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU

THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-781-7529
THATS ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO SEVEN EIGHT ONE SEVEN FIVE TWO NINE

6/20/2008 12:45:20 PM

6/20/2008 12:46:24 PM

believe it or not i always wanted to be a hitman, esp. after i saw The Professional.........then some f'ing D.A.R.E. officer comes to my 6th grade class and introduces the occurrence of rape, but-pumping,etc. in jail to me........needless to say my dreams became shattered

6/20/2008 12:55:29 PM

i wanted to be a firetruck....

no one said what could you possibly be when you grow up they just asked what i wanted to be.

6/20/2008 1:02:42 PM

yall are gonna think i'm bullshitting but when i was 5 i hoped i got at least 120k posts on thewolfweb

6/20/2008 1:03:30 PM

I wanted to be an animator, work on movies like Aladdin and The Lion King.

6/20/2008 1:11:20 PM

^me too!

but then I realized I don't have that kind of attention span so I went into graphic design

6/20/2008 1:12:32 PM

I wanted to grow up and be a telecom sales rep. I am truly living the dream.




yeah right

6/20/2008 1:12:40 PM

6/20/2008 1:13:33 PM

i wanted to be an intern for a power company and just chill on tww all day

6/20/2008 1:14:06 PM

when i was little I always wanted to be a cop.


But then I started to read and watch the news.

6/20/2008 1:16:01 PM

I wanted to be a mom

Still hasn't happened yet

6/20/2008 1:18:49 PM

fighter pilot

6/20/2008 1:28:04 PM

Quote :

"fighter pilot"

of any sort really.

6/20/2008 1:29:21 PM

i wanna go fast

6/20/2008 1:29:45 PM

i haven't quite made it to fighter pilot, yet (though I'm still working on it)

but i am an attack navigator/electronic warfare/weapons systems guy

6/20/2008 1:34:05 PM

that sounds hot

6/20/2008 1:34:37 PM

I wanted to be famous and have a girlfriend or have a famous girlfriend.

6/20/2008 2:09:02 PM

I wanted to be a paleontologist. I still kind of do.

6/20/2008 2:12:25 PM

I wanted to take over the world and rule it as a dictator. Seriously.

After that started seeming unrealistic I decided I wanted to work in forensic pathology.

Then by about 12 or 13 I got lazy and decided I just wanted to run a shrimp boat. And this was before I saw Forrest Gump.

6/20/2008 2:17:11 PM

rock star

6/20/2008 2:17:37 PM

Forilla

Quote :

""

In high school my dream jobs were astronaut, author, programmer, and travel writer. GUESS WHICH ONE CAME TRUE??!?

6/20/2008 2:18:49 PM

programmer.

6/20/2008 2:21:06 PM

Oh, and if that Billy Mays bit comes from somewhere else, please direct me to it. I just had an aneurysm I'm laughing so hard.

6/20/2008 2:22:33 PM

Quote :

"Then by about 12 or 13 I got lazy and decided I just wanted to run a shrimp boat. And this was before I saw Forrest Gump."

Hah.

I've already decided to sell watermelons out of a flatbed truck with a canvas top and a hammock when I retire.

6/20/2008 2:22:41 PM

^Can you hook it up with those yellow watermelons? I love thems!

6/20/2008 2:23:50 PM

I always wanted to study sharks.

6/20/2008 3:00:36 PM

I don't remember what my childhood dreams were.

6/20/2008 3:03:27 PM

to post on the wolfweb a lot

6/20/2008 3:04:53 PM

to design and run my own putt-putt course empire

complete with sand traps and other awesome shit that'd be hard to maintain

6/20/2008 3:07:56 PM

^ that is a new one for sure.

i wanted to go to space and have a tree house like punky brewster's

6/20/2008 4:58:02 PM

i wanted to be an adult

6/20/2008 4:58:36 PM