1) Obama supporters who can't name a damned thing he stands for, other than "change" and "hope." For example, the dumb bitch on Big Brother who thinks that because she is black, she is the only Democrat in the room.

2) Fucking prostate pill commercials. OK, I get it, assholes. It makes your fucking prostate smaller. Really, you don't need five more guys who are model makers to make the same fucking joke about "shrinking it." Seriously. Why don't you start talking about how their dicks are really small, too. make that joke, ok?

3) Sally fucking fields and her bone density. look, you liberal cunt, I liked you as Forrest Gump's mom, but that doesn't mean you can come on my TV five times a day, in five different fucking commercials, saying "I've got this one life, and this one body..." It's so fake it's ridiculous. I'm sorry that you got old. Now shut the fuck up.

4) Any commercial that says "Tell your doctor if your immune system isn't healthy because of AIDS or HIV..." Look, assholes, there are many things that I can forgive a doctor for not knowing. That his patient has fucking

AIDS

7/13/2008 8:39:01 PM

i'm going to go poop now.

7/13/2008 8:39:39 PM

wow i agree with almost all of that

aaronburro for prez?

7/13/2008 8:40:32 PM

aaronburro

7/13/2008 8:41:22 PM

sounds like you need a dvr

7/13/2008 8:43:07 PM

Quote :

"8) Those fucking Taco Bell commercials where they are screaming/singing about 79/89/99 whatever. What's that? You wanna sell me diarrhea in a bag for less than a buck? Great. How about not screaming it at me, ok? Thanks."

this is my ringtone

7/13/2008 8:43:10 PM

nice

7/13/2008 8:44:36 PM

10) That jackass on NASCAR who goes "BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY, LET'S GO RACING, BOYS!!!" What in the fuck ever made you think that was an intelligent thing to say? Yeah, shut the fuck up. I know NASCAR is for hicks and all, but you are way below even THEIR level.

11) The "Let's go racin boys" song. Really. Was it necessary? I don't think so.

12) The fucktards on drag racing talking about how it was necessary for "safety" to shorten the race to 1000 feet because of the guy that died a couple weeks ago. Yeah, it gives them an extra 300 feet, but I don't really think that mattered to that guy, since his fucking parachute was ON FIRE!!! Last time I checked, a flaming, tattered parachute really isn't going to make a difference with an extra 300 feet. The guy still would have cratered into the end of the drag strip. Maybe you guys could do something intelligent (besides not drag racing, of course), and put a fucking sand trap after 500 feet or something. Or, maybe just put the concrete wall at the finish line so we can get it over with.

13) How on Ghosthunters, they feel it necessary to explain EVPs every god-damned episode. Really. I think we get it now, ok?

7/13/2008 8:46:16 PM

^however none of those appealed to me

[Edited on July 13, 2008 at 8:47 PM. Reason : what about those e-surance commercials? i can't stand hearing them]

7/13/2008 8:46:46 PM

Quote :

"sounds like you need a dvr to get laid"

seriously. some good pussy will make you not care about all this irrelevant shit

7/13/2008 8:54:07 PM

14) Any fucking doctor who endorses a medication on TV. Look, asshole, I'm glad that you sold your soul to the devil, but could you please stop driving up the price of my medications as you appear on the same fucking commercial 12 times a day? How, exactly, do you think the drug companies pay for those billions of dollars of commercials? Oh right, they jack up the price of the drugs. Last time I checked, the hypocratic oath didn't end with "Second, make lots of commercials."

15) Any fucking commercial that says "Ask your doctor." Hey, seems to me that if my dick is throbbing so much that it bothers me, I'll go to the doctor on my own, thank you very much. I don't need you to tell me about 1500 different pills whose side-effects are worse than the condition they are treating. With deference to some comedian, I don't think I need ANAL LEAKAGE in addition to my other aches and pains, thank you very much. I don't come into your house and tell you what drugs to take. Don't come in to mine and do the same.

16) Democrats. Nuff said.

17) Republicans. Nuff said.

18) Ralph Nader. see 16.

19) Anyone who watches CNN and bitches about FoxNews being biased. Take Ted Tuner's cock out of your mouth and think about that ok?

20) Anyone who watches FoxNews and bitches about CNN being biased. Take Rupert Murdoch's cock out of your mouth and think about that ok?

21) The Video Professor. "Try my product!" Hey, how about you try making a product that isn't aimed at the lowest-common-denominator in our society who can't figure out how to fucking use eBay, for crying out loud. it's really simple: log in, post your item, wait for the auction to end. Pretty simple.

22) The dancing cavemen Geico commercials. Really, the cavemen were funny a long time ago. Like, before the fucking television series. Some unshaven guy talking about his glutes or jazz-hands... Nah. Not funny. And I don't even have to call TBS to figure that one out.

23) As a special request, eSurance commercials. Specifically, that jackass who makes the lame joke about being "animated" about his car insurance. I mean, you made the joke before, and it wasn't funny. Yeah, the chic would get it, even if she is a cartoon. But you look like a goober. Animated or not.

24) Jared subway commercials. Look, I'm glad that Jared lost a bunch of weight. He even picked up a bangin wife, too. But I think he did a hell of a lot more than just EAT. In fact, I'm fairly certain that EATING is what made him fat in the first place. No, Subway, eating your subs aint what helped Jared. Exercising and eating less did. Advertise THAT.

7/13/2008 9:05:55 PM

Quote :

"hypocratic oath"

lol

FUN FACT: the modern hippocratic oath (lasagna's version) does not contain the phrase "first, do no harm" anywhere in it. the original, thought to be penned by Hippocrates, did not contain it either.

Quote :

"I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant: I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow. I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism. I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug. I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery. I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God. I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick. I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure. I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm. If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help."

and:

Quote :

"21) The Video Professor. "Try my product!" Hey, how about you try making a product that isn't aimed at the lowest-common-denominator in our society who can't figure out how to fucking use eBay, for crying out loud. it's really simple: log in, post your item, wait for the auction to end. Pretty simple."

actually, i feel sorry for the dude, he almost sounds desperate

7/13/2008 9:13:50 PM

jesus

turn off the tv

7/13/2008 10:01:04 PM

haha, yeah, a lot of this is tv-based >.< i get it on the radio, too, though. does that count?

7/13/2008 10:14:10 PM

no

7/13/2008 10:17:54 PM

I don't like the oxyclean guy that is currently hawking other products. he's always yelling.

7/13/2008 10:19:03 PM

9/10

7/13/2008 10:20:30 PM

I like #10

7/13/2008 10:29:36 PM

haha, good ol' billy mays. The guy that is a convicted felon due to fraud

7/13/2008 10:38:52 PM

well, he's a vapid cunt who yells on tv and its annoying.

7/14/2008 12:46:14 AM

Quote :

"1) Obama supporters who can't name a damned thing he stands for, other than "change" and "hope." For example, the dumb bitch on Big Brother who thinks that because she is black, she is the only Democrat in the room. "

You should have made this your last point, because you lost all credibility by admitting you still watch Big Brother.

7/14/2008 1:00:45 AM

I like all of them but #10....Darrell Waltrip has pretty much earned the right to say what he pleases. He is a 3-time Cup champ and won tons of races and is one the most popular driver at the end of his career and is pretty widely liked as an announcer too.

7/14/2008 1:08:02 AM

he's funny.

7/14/2008 1:37:06 AM

goddammit, i want my 3 1/2 minutes back.

this thread sucks the corn out of my turd.

7/14/2008 1:45:34 AM

i just like how i click on the thread named "The Burr0's list of things that fucking annoy him "

and the thing that pops out immediately is

AIDS

7/14/2008 1:46:30 AM

7/14/2008 2:14:47 AM

actually, moron, I just had Big Brother on for a second, cause I hadn't gotten up to turn the channel to something else

7/14/2008 8:20:49 PM

Quote :

"5) Any penis pill commercial that finds it necessary to say that the penis pill doesn't protect against STDs."

I would guess by the sheer number of commercials for sex-related medicines that, oh, maybe they might be required by law to add that disclaimer?

You do need to get laid...copy and pasting of lame rants is one of the last warning signs your brain gives you before shutting down due to lack of boobs.

7/14/2008 8:27:58 PM

Quote :

"seriously. some good pussy will make you not care about all this irrelevant shit"

7/14/2008 8:30:51 PM

7/14/2008 8:32:04 PM

25) the fucking Arby's commercial where the guy keeps asking how much 5 fucking items would cost. LOOK, JACKASS, IT'S 5.95, WHETHER YOUR ORDER THE HERPES SANDWICH AS ONE OF THE ITEMS OR NOT, NOW WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU WANT?

26) Same thing goes for the stupid air-miles credit card where the guy stays on the phone for like 7 years asking about the credit card and shit. Again, faggot, no blackouts means "no blackouts," even though it probably doesn't. damnit.

8/9/2008 8:25:15 PM

turn off the tv, dude.

8/9/2008 8:25:40 PM

keep 'em coming

8/9/2008 10:25:31 PM

Quote :

"Assholes who are in the right lane at a stop-light where you can turn right on red, with their fucking right-blinker on, WHO WON'T FUCKING TURN!!!"

haha, i was in the lake norman area a couple weeks ago, and getting off i-77, there was some douchebag in a mercedes at the exit, in the right hand turn lane, blasting his music, with no traffic coming, and the guy behind him kept honking at him. i just laughed. though if i was the guy behind him, i woulda been

8/10/2008 12:28:26 AM

I annoy you! Oh, please, tell me how much I annoy you!

8/10/2008 12:29:06 AM

pretty annoying in chatterbox right now

8/10/2008 12:29:54 AM

you're just jealous dude that i dont e fuck you.

8/10/2008 12:30:40 AM

8/10/2008 12:31:16 AM

OH SNAP

8/10/2008 12:31:16 AM

27) Jackasses in Wal-mart who are going the WRONG FUCKING WAY in the aisles. There's a reason there are two aisles here, genius... Treat it like the street. Drive on the right. Geez

28) Jackasses in Wal-mart who STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE AND TALK. I've never known how it is possible for 3 people to block an aisle which is 10 feet wide, but they fucking do it. MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY, GET OUT THE WAY BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY!!

guess where I just was

8/17/2008 6:57:35 PM

29) People who go to Wal-Mart unless it's an emergency and it is the only place open at 1:00am.

[Edited on August 17, 2008 at 7:01 PM. Reason : .]

8/17/2008 7:00:47 PM

you seem to be focused on cock and Obama. do we need to get you some help?

8/17/2008 7:12:46 PM

no. i just need some cock. preferably Obama's

8/17/2008 7:16:26 PM

good choice, hopefully he got the black genes in his jeans

8/17/2008 7:26:22 PM

People making a left turn that stay behind the intersection line. Please, pull out into the intersection ... don't be a ... give someone else a chance.

8/17/2008 7:49:09 PM