So here's my situation. I dated a girl for 6 years from age 15-21. Only girl i fucked during those years. We broke up. I was hurt so i fucked every girl I still knew from high school. Most were one night stands because i was such a misogynist that i did dumb shit like cum on their face the first night or call them a whore.

Then i didnt really mess with girls for awhile i just focused on drugs and getting mangle pieced. Then i met a virgin and dated her for a year. I was only allowed to fuck her when she was wasted cause everytime she woke up and realized we'd fucked she'd be like "god hates me". I cheated on her a lot for obvious reasons but i didnt feel good about it. She ended up cheating on me so we broke up and i started fucking other girls.

Fast forward i was in a 2 year relationship and then found out this girl cheated on me. I was mad so i fucked 6 girls in three weeks. Many of the times i nailed two in one day. Sometimes i didnt shower in betweeen.

Ive met some good girls in the last few weeks but none of them will touch me because they know how i get down or they figure it out real fast. I dont wanna cheat on the next girl that takes me seriously but Im not confident I can stop. Ive tried slowing down but like Eddie Vedder said I gather steam from people fucking with me.

Is this a midlife crisis? I havent even lost my hair or bought a miata yet!?!

7/14/2008 1:16:20 AM

best 14th post evar

7/14/2008 1:16:51 AM

Who are all these new faces around here? I like the one about the dog shit in the store tho.

Lol at the miata statement

[Edited on July 14, 2008 at 1:20 AM. Reason : jesus christ dec 2005, nice lurking]

7/14/2008 1:19:48 AM

why is this not in the lounge?

7/14/2008 1:20:12 AM

lol

Quote :

"I dated a girl for 6 years from age 15-21"

Quote :

"Then i met a virgin and dated her for a year"

Quote :

"Fast forward i was in a 2 year relationship"

Quote :

"Age : 22"

7/14/2008 1:22:55 AM

you're acting like a bitch

i saw a sticker today, 'Men are the new Women'

i think the creator of it met you and got inspired to make the sticker.

7/14/2008 1:23:25 AM

sorry havent been on here in a few years. I will update my profile.

7/14/2008 1:25:27 AM

hate to break it to you but girls are very good about finding out about things through the infamous grapevine.

I know a few guys who are really hot and awesome but then I know their history and am like.

7/14/2008 1:27:59 AM

This guy is the next Amsterdam.

7/14/2008 1:28:16 AM

Quote :

"getting mangle pieced."

?

7/14/2008 1:30:02 AM

^^^Im not worried about that i can lie my way out of a paper bag that is on the floor of a nazi prizon.

I just want to go into my next relationship without feeling the need to cheat on her immediately as a defense mechanism.


Dictionary.com "mangled". pieced is just added for effect.

[Edited on July 14, 2008 at 1:31 AM. Reason : a]

7/14/2008 1:30:29 AM

Well from what I've heard so far, your next relationship is probably gonna last a really really long time.

7/14/2008 1:32:00 AM

okay.... so you're like 24 and fucking lotsa chicks.

so what the problem here?

you want advice? here's some advice: learn the basics of bass guitar, and join a rock band.

7/14/2008 1:36:20 AM

What im really worried about is my career.

I've already fucked girls at work and now its awkward because I dont talk to them anymore.

Also, I chase tail in all different locales and sometimes i have trouble waking up for work if im out all night.

I went in to work with my shirt on inside out last week. Its cause normally i just grab a shirt out the closet but i didnt have time to go home so i grabbed it off her floor and apparentally it was inside out and i didnt notice. My boss was cool about it but he cant help but notice shit like that as my job performance suffers.

I like girlfriends because they make it so much easier to live the "daily routine" part of life.

7/14/2008 1:36:21 AM

Fornicators?

Yes, please form a line in front of the small guillotine.

7/14/2008 1:39:33 AM

^^ which is why you need to quit your job and join a rock band.



um... o wait.

you're serious arent you?



okay. look here.... you've got serious self-loathing problems. the problem is not "banging chicks" ... the problem is that you cant stand to be alone with yourself for more than 5 minutes before you're crawling out of your skin.

seek counseling. if you are in a career track, your employer should have some sort of EAP available to you. And generally any health care program will cover inpatient and outpatient mental health care.

do you think I'm exaggerating? I'm not. you've got issues and it aint about women.

If you can't stand yourself, you'll never have a healthy relationship. even if you get one long term, you'll only get some gal who can't stand herself either, and it will inevitably descend into the two of you cheating on each other.

the only direction this will go, is down. all this self-loathing, add some alcohol, and sooner or later, you're heading for an inevitable 48-hour mandatory cool down in the county preceding your initial appearance for Domestic Violence.





[Edited on July 14, 2008 at 3:20 AM. Reason : ]

7/14/2008 3:14:41 AM

Sounds like you are the asshole.

7/14/2008 6:04:12 AM

what joe_schmoe said.

7/14/2008 7:16:44 AM

You should just keep doing what you're doing. That's what all the married folks tell me anyway.

7/14/2008 7:25:38 AM

You have super aids. Just one teaspoon full of super aids you die in three days.

7/14/2008 7:41:12 AM

sounds like you're the asshole

damn n00bs need to get picture galleries so we can all peruse

7/14/2008 11:04:30 AM

Quote :

"sounds like you're the asshole"

7/14/2008 11:27:51 AM

date an ugly/fat girl that gives amazing deepthroat head 24/7 and takes it in the ass, then cooks banging food just for you while you're taking a shower...that's how most ppl end up and it's great.

7/14/2008 11:36:19 AM

NEW! from the same people that brought you Amsterdam718?

7/14/2008 12:02:11 PM

Jen gives amazing head and isn't ugly or fat.

i'd PM her and try really hard.

7/14/2008 12:08:11 PM

Can't stop

Won't Stop

Eh eh EH eh

7/14/2008 12:34:57 PM

Maybe what you're really looking for is a guy to satisfy you [no homo]

7/14/2008 12:55:29 PM

What XSMP said..

7/14/2008 1:00:28 PM

Sounds like you are the asshole.

7/14/2008 1:06:06 PM

7/14/2008 1:15:54 PM

this isn't even close to being as good as an amsterdam thread

7/14/2008 1:21:05 PM

Quote :

"gives amazing head and isn't ugly or fat."

best TDub has to offer right there.

7/14/2008 1:31:18 PM

Quote :

"I've already fucked girls at work and now its awkward because I dont talk to them anymore. "

Never dip your pen in the company ink.

7/14/2008 2:37:47 PM

lol

7/14/2008 3:05:09 PM

face huh?.............you wouldn't happen to frequent in house hold 'em games would you?

7/14/2008 3:08:21 PM

Maybe you'll stop nailing girls when your dick falls off.

[Edited on July 14, 2008 at 3:21 PM. Reason : omfgwtfrudoing gtfo]

7/14/2008 3:21:09 PM

As long as you don't try to put B.A. Baracus on an airplane, I think you'll be OK. But watch out for that crazy fool Murdock . . .

7/14/2008 5:40:47 PM

^ Belive it or not Thats actually where I got the screename from. He was my favorite character.

That was actually some pretty good advice Schmoe. Sometimes i feel like if I don't hit a uteran wall that night that ive dishonored my family or something.

I need to slow things down and maybe take a couple plays off. I tried that tonight i got lit and didn't aggresively try to have sex with anyone. But now its almost 2 AM bedtime and I hate sleeping alone.


Someone PM'd me wondering where i met girls so i offered him the following. I dont recommend becoming a manwhore because ultimately its so unsatisfying but i feel like there are guys out there who are slumping like i did one year and need to break out.

{{{work, bars, girls i knew when i had a g/f...

if you're in a slump you are prob trying too hard. Just relax and realize its a numbers game. Try to meet three new girls a day and dont care about any of them. Get a foot in the door with 20 girls before you go digging for paydirt.

Once you are getting laid its like selling insurance. Referrals do the work for you. }}}}}

7/15/2008 1:45:56 AM

didn't TheJudge already do this sort of thing?

7/15/2008 1:59:13 AM