Quote :

"(Customer walks in and is a bright white Jewish guy with a big beard.) Me: “How may I help you?” Customer: “Hi, my brother says you can give me a tan so I can look like Wesley Snipes.” Me: “What?” Customer: “You know Wesley Snipes, He’s got a great tan. It looks like he’s a real black guy.” Me: “Wesley Snipes IS a REAL black guy.” Customer: “Yeah, because of the great tan he’s got.” Me: “…Okay?” Customer: “Look, I just need to be as dark as that guy so I can learn how to rap.” Me: “You can learn how to rap without being black. Look at Eminem.” Customer: “Are you gonna give me a tan or what? I have all the money to pay for it.” Me: “Well, okay. If that’s what you want…but you’re gonna have to shave off that beard and go to the jewelry shop across the street to buy a giant platinum chain with diamonds all over it.” Customer: “Smart a**!” (So we put him through the spray tanner like ten times and made him pay 35 bucks for every time. We had almost gotten him as black as Wesley Snipes when our boss walked in and asked what the h*ll was going on. He said we had to shave all beards before starting the process. So, now this guy gets his beard shaved by my coworker and the result was the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life. He looked like a freaking raccoon!) (The customer looks in the mirror.) Customer: “You sons of b**ches, you did this on purpose! You racist b**tards hate Jewish people! All I wanted was a f**king tan!” (The raccoon got dressed super fast and ran out…)"

8/17/2008 10:00:54 PM

didn't read

8/17/2008 10:01:52 PM

i LOL'd

a lot

8/17/2008 10:03:03 PM

Quote :

"i LOL'd a lot"

please tell me this is true and you got pics

8/17/2008 10:23:16 PM

no

8/17/2008 10:25:48 PM

This is from that blog where people post their experiences doing retail jobs.

8/17/2008 10:27:13 PM

http://notalwaysright.com

8/17/2008 11:27:52 PM

From http://notalwaysright.com/

Quote :

"A Little Bit Too Honest There Retail | Toronto, ON, Canada (I used to work at a sporting goods store, when a young guy of about 12-14 years of age came in.) Customer: “Hi, can you tell me where I can find a jock, like for playing baseball?” Me: “Oh, you mean a protective cup? Sure, they’re right over here.” Customer: “Thanks. Oh, are there sizes?” Me: “Yeah, they’re–” Customer: *whispers* “I think I’m a small.” Me: “They’re according to waistband.” Customer: “Oh…” Me: “I’ll be over there if you need anything else.” "

8/17/2008 11:42:22 PM

Ha... Gotta not be that willing to tell other dudes about the size of your package.

8/17/2008 11:53:03 PM

HE'S WHITE SON.

Quote :

"Me: “Thank you for calling the Benefits Center, how may I assist you today?” Customer: “Hi. I am trying to enroll in my benefits for next year.” Me: “Okay, how may I assist you?” Customer: “I just got engaged and I want to add my fiance to my insurance.” Me: “I’m sorry, but you won’t be able to add your fiance to your coverage until you get married.” Customer: “… So, those f***ing f***ots can get benefits, but I can’t?” Me: “Yes, sir, but you have the option to get married, they don’t.” Customer: “Those f***ing f***ots, f***ing us over anyway they can!” Me: “I’m sorry sir, but you have the option to get married, they do not. That is the only reason we offer health benefits to same-sex domestic partners.” Customer: “What if I can’t get married? What are you going to do about that?” Me: “Why can’t you get married?” Customer: “Well, a**hole if you must ask… it’s because I am already married.” Me: “Sir, I can assure you we don’t pay for infidelity.”"

[Edited on October 23, 2008 at 5:44 PM. Reason : ]

10/23/2008 5:41:09 PM

i didnt lol at all...i felt cheated for reading it

10/23/2008 5:43:52 PM

WELL THEN YOU DIDN'T GET IT SON.

DID YOU READ THE ONE I JUST POSTED VIA EDIT SON?

10/23/2008 5:45:26 PM

the one you added above made me somewhat lol

A CHUCKLE, SON

10/23/2008 5:47:28 PM

IT GET'S BETTER SON

Quote :

"Me: “Thank you for calling ***, this is Bill in the breast aesthetics department. How may I help you?” Customer: “My left boob popped.” Me: “Okay, so the implant failed?” Customer: “Yes.” Me: “Are your implants silicone gel or saline?” Customer: “The water kind.” Me: “So, we’ve had a saline deflation. I need to ask you some questions in regards to how it may have deflated.” Customer: “Why, don’t you believe me?” Me: “Of course I believe you, but as part of making our implants even better and evaluating where under the device’s warranty this falls, I need to know what may have led up to the implant’s leak.” Customer: “Oh, so you think this is my fault?! You make a crappy implant and you have the nerve to blame me?” Me: “Wait, wait. First, I didn’t make your implant, my company did. I’m here to help you get this fixed in the fastest way possible and that starts with finding out how the implant deflated.” Customer: “So you want to know what I did to screw them up, is that right? I spend a fortune on these things to be walking around with a flat tire of a tit and you think it’s my fault?” Me: “No, ma’am. I simply need to know how to cover this under your warranty, to see how much money we are going to give you to fix the problem. We give you a check for money to fix the problem if you’ll just answer my questions. What do you remember doing when you first noticed the deflation in your breast?” Customer: “Me and my boyfriend were playing sex hide-and-seek in the house and he though it would be more fun if my boobs glowed. So, he used a needle tube to insert little red lights into them… what do you call those little glowing lights? It’s like three letters?” Me: “… A diode?” Customer: “Yes. He’s a trained professional… he uses them on animals at his job all the time.” Me: “So, your boyfriend punched a hole in your chest and tried inserting a diode inside the implant?” Customer: “Well, not in my chest. Just on the top side of my boob so it wouldn’t hurt. He numbed it first.” Me: “… And this is the implant’s fault, how?” Customer: “It started leaking and getting flat.” Me: *laughing* “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I’m recording this and no one is going to believe me!” Customer: *click*"

10/23/2008 5:53:18 PM

K, well if its real then its pretty funny.

10/23/2008 5:54:45 PM

that sounds like a true story

10/23/2008 5:59:53 PM

Quote :

"Employee: “Thanks for calling, how may I help you?” Customer: “Hi. I came through drive-thru earlier tonight, and there’s something wrong with my food.” Employee: “Um, okay…what’s wrong exactly?” Customer: “Well, I ordered ***, and there was a used condom on the sandwich.” Employee, holding in a laugh: “Sir, that’s impossible. We don’t practice safe sex here.” Customer: “Well played.” *hangs up*"

10/23/2008 6:06:58 PM